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Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings - Family - Nairaland

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Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Simplechic: 8:33pm On Oct 20, 2011
Ladies and gentlemen, what is your take on a lady indicating her preference for a particular style/pattern of a wedding band, not necessarily the price.

I am engaged about to be married and I do not stay in the same locality with my fiance. He is to buy the wedding ring and I indicated interest in a particular style which is meant to serve as a guide. I actually stressed that it must not be exactly the picture of the ring I sent to him but at least he will have an idea of what I will love to wear, I am not particular about the price either, just something beautiful.

Unfortunately, this did not go well with my guy as he said that I should be able to love whatever choice of ring he makes since it is coming from him (his heart). That it is proper for a man to pick the wedding rings without necessarily getting an input on the ladies preference and if there is need, it could be upgraded to her choice later on in the marriage. He stressed that I should not be very concerned about the style rather what the ring signifies to which I very much agree. But I still feel that at least, I should be able to have something I'll love since I am to wear it for the rest of my life (am really not so cut out with the idea of changing wedding rings). But he will still not hear any of it, even hinting that I seem to be getting materialistic which is very far from the truth. One having a style preference doesn't necessarily equate materialism.

So my people, I want to hear opinion from both genders' perspective.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Outstrip(f): 5:25am On Oct 21, 2011
It depends. Since you have said that you have a preference then he needs to take that into consideration. It would be selfish for him to just buy what he likes. he is not going to wear it. As long as you are not expecting him to over extend himself. You can tell him what cut or setting you want. The size and clarity(if it has diamonds) can be a compromise.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 6:59am On Oct 21, 2011
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Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 7:02am On Oct 21, 2011
The person that buys it, the guy.

But he should keep in mind when buying, what his woman likes.

Me oh, I live big shiny things, like big stones . I will not be disrespected by a single grain of rice on my ring. If you dont have enough money for that, maybe it's not yet time to get married. tongue
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 7:07am On Oct 21, 2011
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Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 7:10am On Oct 21, 2011
You got that one right jare.

LOL as much as I enjoy your sarcasm, let's be serious here.

If he needs to ask me for money to add to the little he has, I have no problem with it. I'm just not going to be carrying around a tiny wedding/ engagement ring.

I want to be able to blind my neighbors when I raise my hand to say "Hi!" or when I place my hand on my knees to greet my elders.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 7:21am On Oct 21, 2011
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Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 7:23am On Oct 21, 2011
OH, those bland looking gold rings.

Ok, is it such a bad thing to tell a man to return an engagement ring?
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by slimyem: 7:39am On Oct 21, 2011
i have friends who made the choice of their wedding ring and their fiancees didnt mind.truthfully,some guys do not mind leaving their fiance to do the picking out.
Me for one would love to choose my weeding ring with or without the guy.i should be able to make my choice concerning what i'd be wearing for the rest of my life.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 7:54am On Oct 21, 2011
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Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 9:12am On Oct 21, 2011
Personally, I would say the choice of rings boils down to both.

Wedding rings are pretty personal - you'll be wearing it for the rest of your life (God willing). I don't buy the concept of replacing it later in the marriage. In my opinion, a wedding ring is irreplaceable. If you lose yours, and replace it with one exactly the same, it isn't the same. Your wedding rings would have been blessed in the Church, or prayed over by your elders, relatives etc. A new ring in the same style won't have the same symbolic meaning, as the one you wore when you got married.

Myself and my wife looked at rings together, before we got engaged, and before we got married. We knew roughly what we wanted - plain, complimenting gold bands. Of course we had our wedding fingers measured at the same time. While we did not get our rings from the first jewellers we visited, at this point, I knew exactly what I wanted, and more importantly, what my wife would be comfortable wearing. What I purchased in the end was based upon the preferences of both of us, and we're happy to wear these rings till death do us part. Plain wedding bands don't have to cost the earth either.

1 Like

Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 9:24am On Oct 21, 2011
Guyz i think it's the great grand mother of the guy not the lady and guy!am serious, grin
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by sley4life(m): 9:30am On Oct 21, 2011
i think both parties. But in real sense its the guy. Many ladies (not all) have big eyes. They may tell their partner to go for diamond ring knowing he's not too financially stable for that
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Muttex(m): 9:32am On Oct 21, 2011
Please where can one get a nice and genuine wedding ring?
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 9:59am On Oct 21, 2011
Muttex:

Please where can one get a nice and genuine wedding ring?

Depends on where in Nigeria you are, but I'd say any reputable jewellers would be a good starting point.

Good luck.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by blank(f): 10:31am On Oct 21, 2011
I sent him plenty plenty pictures of engagement rings so he will have an idea of what i want (he confessed to me that he was clueless on what to get). As for wedding bands, we picked them out together. He has a really massive band around his finger while mine is small and cute. grin
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Muttex(m): 10:41am On Oct 21, 2011
@Siena, Thank you , i live in Lagos here but i am afraid as we have lot of fake of it.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 11:06am On Oct 21, 2011
Muttex:

@Siena, Thank you , i live in Lagos here but i am afraid as we have lot of fake of it.

You're most likely to get fakes, if you decide to cut corners, and patronize El Cheapo.

If you buy from a reputable jewellers, who have a reputation and good name to protect, you unlikely to get hoodwinked. The choice is obviously yours.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by UncleN: 11:50am On Oct 21, 2011
How can a man be so petty over such, to the extent that even though you say you do not mind how cheap it is, he has started cruelly inferring you to be materialistic.
Beware of his controlling and paranoid tendencies. That is how it starts.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by kunlaxo: 12:56pm On Oct 21, 2011
Hello Mrs Oga Madam, Do not despise the days of little beginning of your man,even though his beginning may be small his later end shall be great with fine ring, since it is not the ring you intend marrying to or showing your love for, i will suggest you gladly accept the ring your man can afford for now.believe you me,marriage is more bigger in size than the ring, he loves you and you shouldn't stress his financial capacity beyond his expectation knowing fully well that you guys have allot of things to do with cash, wish u Gudluck.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 1:19pm On Oct 21, 2011
^^^I totally agree.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by juman(m): 2:56pm On Oct 21, 2011
kunlaxo:

Hello Mrs Oga Madam, Do not despise the days of little beginning of your man,even though his beginning may be small his later end shall be great with fine ring, since it is not the ring you intend marrying to or showing your love for, i will suggest you gladly accept the ring your man can afford for now.believe you me, marriage is more bigger in size than the ring, he loves you and you shouldn't stress his financial capacity beyond his expectation knowing fully well that you guys have allot of things to do with cash, wish u Gudluck.

Exactly. @Op, take it easy with your guy. Let him pick the one he likes.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Simplechic: 5:10pm On Oct 21, 2011
Some people here seem to be missing my point which is not centred on the price but design. I have never been concerned about how expensive or whether it is diamond. As a matter of fact, the sample I sent to him was a white gold set with CZ stones.

I don't wear an engagement ring now though we've done the preliminary part of the marriage rites. So the wedding ring set comes with the engament ring.

@Kunlaxo hope u understand now that its not about being insensitive or materialistic. I will gladly accept the choice I made or something close to that even if it costs just N20,000
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 5:41pm On Oct 21, 2011
When my wife and I were planning/shopping for our wedding, we were very clear on two things- our wedding bands and her wedding gown. We never wanted to make a joke of these two things especially the bands that we were going to wear for the rest of our lives. We planned in such a way that we must have to shop for these two items together (we equally do not stay in the same locality).

I noticed that my wife made the two choices because women are more concerned about things like that but she made sure that I liked it equally. We tried to save ourselves the stress of buying an oversized band and having to book an appointment with the goldsmith. You need to also be specific about the size if he to buy it.

My advice: You can stay action on the ring until it is possible for you two to go shopping so as to avoid regrets that might strain your would be union.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Outstrip(f): 6:38pm On Oct 21, 2011
Simplechic:

Some people here seem to be missing my point which is not centred on the price but design. I have never been concerned about how expensive or whether it is diamond. As a matter of fact, the sample I sent to him was a white gold set with CZ stones.

I don't wear an engagement ring now though we've done the preliminary part of the marriage rites. So the wedding ring set comes with the engament ring.

@Kunlaxo hope u understand now th[b]at its not about being insensitive or materialistic[/b]. I will gladly accept the choice I made or something close to that even if it costs just N20,000

Trust me they purposely ignored that part. You simply just cannot say let him buy the ring. There are some things that there has to be agreement on. There is also the thought that you pick yoru battles but is this the one she wants to just let slide. If that is okay with her then fine. I did not see my ring before it was picked and paid for but he got exactly what I wanted and also had the option of changing out the stone if I did not want that one. You simply cannot force someone to make such a decision that she will want to look at for the rest of her life and smile at the beautiful memories it brings. If every time she looks at it she thinks how stubborn he is then you know say trouble dey.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 6:52pm On Oct 21, 2011
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Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Agybabe(f): 8:02pm On Oct 21, 2011
Both of u suld b in concord agreement wit ur choices. Bt in dis case, i blieve LADIES FIRST. U wil b d one 2 wear it 4 christ sake. Try n mk him undastand dat d only tin dat wil bring u bak swit memories suldn't cause u sadnex weneva u luk @ it n rmbr n say 2 urself ''dis is nt wat i had wanted''.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Fhemmmy: 8:07pm On Oct 21, 2011
The lady ought to decide, however, the wallet have the final say . .
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by gascoign1(m): 10:06pm On Oct 21, 2011
Ileke-IdI:

The person that buys it, the guy.

But he should keep in mind when buying, what his woman likes.

Me oh, I live big shiny things, like big stones . I will not be disrespected by a single grain of rice on my ring. If you dont have enough money for that, maybe it's not yet time to get married. tongue


u go old,
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by AmakaG29(f): 12:52am On Oct 22, 2011
I don't blame you for letting your preference be known. It will be on your finger forever. You'll have to look at while eating breakfast every morning, so it shouldn't be something that makes you sick. All you can do is suggest. He might take offense because he thinks you don't trust his decision-making, which doesn't bode well for his future decision making. I don't think you did anything wrong, but men are sensitive. Good luck on finding a happy compromise. Remember the life-long commitment is what matters.
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 1:41am On Oct 22, 2011
chaircover:

Ileke it depends on the man I suppose and how you tell him that you dont like the engagement ring wink

Ok thank you. kiss

gascoign1:


u go old,

Thank you o. Where I come from, that one na prayer cheesy
Re: Who Makes The Choice Of Wedding Rings by Nobody: 8:15am On Oct 22, 2011
@oP, My Wife Did Estimate and Plan almost everything During Our Wedding, she's an Economist and i guess it would be best leaving the Choice and Plans of the Day for Her! wink wink

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