sweet mama:

[b]Hello Nairalanders, I'm new here and i have alot of issues bothering my mind,i have been married for three months now and is not easy adapting to this new way of life, however I'm getting use to.I get up as early as 5am to cook and prepare him breakfast but when he gets up he can't even make up the bed, it makes me angry. please tell me must i be the one to make up the bed, even the bedsheets I'm the one taking care of that, he throws his shoes anyhow, steep clothes and never bother to wash them, even when i do wash them he will hardly pick them up.I'm doing all i could to make the marriage a happy one but he seems not to realise it. when he gets home in the evening and i greet him with a smile and loudly he will answer in a way that i will not hear, i will have to do it the second time again but he will shout at me saying he answered me the first time. He use to be very nice when we were dating but now he is different. Even in the bedroom he doesn't satisfy me, he makes love to me once and just fall asleep he will hardly go for round two, he actually always leaves me half way making me feel uncomfortable. Please help me i don't know what to do.[/b]

kai

This marriage thing na wahala o!!

Na real wa o! How long did u guys date before marrying? because if u dated long enough, there's no way he could have hidden all that from you, especially the "round 2" part!

When he gets home tonight after his dinner, sit him down and talk to him - make sure you pour your heart out to him. Any responsible husband will listen and make some changes

gaddafi81:

When he gets home tonight after his dinner, sit him down and talk to him - make sure you pour your heart out to him. Any responsible husband will listen and make some changes

true! talk to him. . .

AMAKAONE:

kai
This marriage thing na wahala o!!

I was just thinking the same thing, im so scared of getting married that i refused to be in a proper relationship for years. Luckily my parents have this (its ur life) attitude so they don't really make a fuss about the whole relationship thing talkless of marriage. I have this uncle who got married in december 2008 and he just got a new apartment for his mistress (fully furnished) and he's paid one yr rent in advance.

@gaddafi81

abi o!

me I dey fear all this marriage baby making wahala.
If it's not husbands stressing out their wives with all sorts, it's 20 hours of excruciatingly painful labour and blood all over the place.

I don't know o!

Your uncles own no get equal !!

less than 1 year after marriage he is already setting up his mistress?

Do these people not fear God, or whatever deity they believe in?
Do they not think that AIDS is real?
What's the deal wit these men abeg?

Na real wah.
Sweet mama, sorry honey. Take am easy o. Maybe the guy is acting like he thinks a newly-married man should act. Maybe he's copying his Daddy's conduct in the home when he was a child. He doesn't know he's hurting your feelings. Take the advice you've been given and talk to him. No vex jare.

Garbage. . . . . Absolute Garbage. who ever told u marriage is a bread and butter affair.

u lot seem to forget that getting hitched remains a personal decision. u must not be pressured into getting married for no reason. ones hitched, u have no option but to tackle them as they come.

and if u r scared of getting married then stay single.

@ AMAKAONE
I'm scared of marriage simply because 80% of the people i know including my parents are divorced, but I'm cool with them. I don't know how some people can be married for 40yrs and be so happy together - Thats just amazing. They were probably best friends before they got married and did not care about physical attributes - so all they see evryday is what they loved about each other in the first place

My uncle's own is small, i am surrounded my nutters in my family  
My mums younger brother has 3 wives all in the same house and the smallest out of them is a size 18   and they fight like no mans business, the dude told my mum the other day he thinks hes going to do a runner  

Get a maid.

My dear,some men are like that.they are not ggod in keeping the house and appreciating ur effort.My hubby does the same but he helps me out in cooking sometimes but washing and arranging the house is ZEro instead he scatters.I will advice u to talk to him about it but if he does not improve,my dear do it with all chearfullness and know u are the builder of that home.Whatever u make of it ,thats what it will become.
The issue of him not anwsering ur greeting,just try and talk to him in a softly way may be ,he is having some problem in the office.

Marriage is sweet if u as a woman knw hw to build ur home.Don,t expect ur hubby to behave like somebody,s bubby.don't compaire.Priase him for the things he is doing right and please, dont nag cos it does not work for men.

I go to work like my hubby but i take is as my duty to keep my house clean and cook for the family.It does not matter if i sleep late.But i do it at my own pace,not overworking myself.

I wish u all the best

Its well, almost normal in marriage. Been married for over 3 yrs now and my husband still throws things all over the place. When I talk to him, he stops for 2 days and resumes with added vigour, He helps me when he can though (or when i ask very very nicely). I guess some men just dont consider all those things a priority.

Adbabe:

My dear,some men are like that.they are not ggod in keeping the house and appreciating ur effort.My hubby does the same but he helps me out in cooking sometimes but washing and arranging the house is ZEro instead he scatters.I will advice u to talk to him about it but if he does not improve,my dear do it with all chearfullness and know u are the builder of that home.Whatever u make of it ,thats what it will become.
The issue of him not anwsering ur greeting,just try and talk to him in a softly way may be ,he is having some problem in the office.

Marriage is sweet if u as a woman knw hw to build ur home.Don,t expect ur hubby to behave like somebody,s bubby.don't compaire.Priase him for the things he is doing right and please, don't nag because it does not work for men.

I go to work like my hubby but i take is as my duty to keep my house clean and cook for the family.It does not matter if i sleep late.But i do it at my own pace,not overworking myself.

I wish u all the best

now if a few more women were like u . . . . . . .

actions such as the one u outlined above speak louder than complaining about everything. i hope these ones'll learn

Seun:

Get a maid.

Exactly

you guys are seriously scaring me about marriage

sexyLeamon:

you guys are seriously scaring me about marriage

Don't be scared,marriage is sweet.

sexyLeamon:

you guys are seriously scaring me about marriage

no no no.
u r just not ready for marriage.

OMO IBO:

now if a few more women were like u . . . . . . .

actions such as the one u outlined above speak louder than complaining about everything. i hope these ones'll learn

Sharrap! Everyone always wants to add their two kobo even when they are chatting shit.

It's not a new thing, most men are like that, my hubby use to help in doing some house work, he prepares his breakfast for himself but the bed arranging stuff i do it because he wakes up earlier than me, u can make him adjust his not giving u a helping hand at home habit, try to talk with him while u guys ll be on bed, men listen to their wife more when they are on bed. show him a big smile, feel his skin in a slow mode befor bringing up the topic, if u see that he is not please with ur discussion forget about it and continue to do the house work. ONE question are u working? if no there is no need expecting that ur hubby will help in the house work. u can try to arrange his breakfast on the table at night befor going to bed so that u will not ned to wake up that early to prepare him, after all i don't see any reason why a man can not prepare his breakfast himself.

For the second round thing don't u think he is too tired after work, if he try to do 1 round e try na, abi? take it easy wit him, u re surposed to know him perfectly well in this area befor marrying him.

a real wa o! How long did u guys date before marrying? because if u dated long enough, there's no way he could have hidden all that from you, especially the "round 2" part!

If she doesnt believe in premartial sex, how would she know?

Mama, have you TALKED to him about these things? Have to let these feelings out. Discuss this with him when you are both less busy.

I have this uncle who got married in december 2008 and he just got a new apartment for his mistress (fully furnished) and he's paid one yr rent in advance.

That's just sad. why did he even bother getting married?

chika98:

Sharrap! Everyone always wants to add their two kobo even when they are chatting shit.

Seriously. What a dork

nah u're just having marriage blues. You'll come thru it just fine.

Seun:

Get a maid.

will d maid also help her out in the love making business?

whatever90:

will d maid also help her out in the love making business?

filthy minded JK
vintage Danke!!

Hmm Hmm

if i see your socks on the floor day 1, i will pick it
day 2, i will do same thing.
day 3, i will put it in the trash. . .

chika98:

Sharrap! Everyone always wants to add their two kobo even when they are chatting shit.

maybe i could learn something from yourself if you had anything to add. i co-signed a post by a woman and ur calling me names. ewu gambia!

OMO IBO:

maybe i could learn something from yourself if you had anything to add. i co-signed a post by a woman and ur calling me names. ewu gambia!

lmao

for the bed, try him to see if he likes sleeping on a ruffled or unmade bed. don't make the bed when you get up.
after dinner, sit in the living room.
Go get a pillow and sleep on the sofa. let him be the first one to go to bed. . .
he might make it before sleeping.

Most of these are trivial issues that a maid can solve.  Get a maid. Set your priorities straight.