Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal - Health - Nairaland
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| Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Nobody: 8:51am On Nov 06, 2011 |
 Goodmorning my fellow nairalanders, Please i really need help concerning my mother issue, First of all let me start from here, My father and mother were happily married, With three children, I am the first born of the family, My mother lost her husband in 1999 when we were still young, My father died of hypertension, he slept and never wake up, My mother think about my father every day cox my mother is young when she lost him. Ever since then, My mother has been trying to do her best to take care of us, Everything is now getting too much for my mother to cope with, Few month later she was asked to pack out of the house because of the way she normally misbehave, Due to the thinking of the death of her husband, She almost go crazy then, I was staying with her then, Before i got pissed of because whenever we have any misunderstanding she always rain big big cause on me, So thank God i got a job that can sustain only me and me alone cox where i work i get 10000 as salary, After 2 years after her husband died her aunty died, Not too long again when her juniour sister developed another problem , She cant execrete or urinate, At the end of the day the lady died after spending so much on her, The problem is that she keep about all this problem alot and her brain is about to turn to something else, Please what can i do, She is getting mad due to this thinking stuff, I need help please,
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| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by doctokwus: 2:58pm On Nov 06, 2011 |
A very touching story,on her part for d losses of loved ones& on ur part for not being able to do as much as u wud want to because of ur financial limitations.Take heart. First,no mata ur religion,pray to d God u serve.Anoda tin is for ur mum to get herself wt a mony yielding activity,no mata how small,dis we serve d objective of kpin her mind preoccupied wt hassles of evryday hurstling.But if u still feel she is in serious health danger,u shd try as much as u can to get her to c a medical practitioner.Gudluck& wish u,ur mum& siblings d best |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by highland(m): 2:34pm On Nov 07, 2011 |
First, inform your family and relatives about the situation of things, you need them now. Secondly, See your Pastor for help as per prayer and counseling for you and your mother. You need counseling to cope with current situation, if not, you too can break down from the side effect. Next, Consult medical practitioner to help you out on the situation and possible solution. Finally, Go spiritual about your situation. Some times, we need to pray because of the unknown enemy in families and in your environment. I'm not trying to prove spiritual but prayers can do far than nothing. God will help you. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Dosoq(f): 9:23am On Nov 08, 2011 |
my advise has odas av likely said is dat u seek God's attention n also try n move closer to her,get her involved in issues dat wil mak her happy,get her established no mata how small cos an idle man is a devil's workshop. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Nobody: 9:24am On Nov 08, 2011 |
I'm attracted to your story because it involves your mother.I'm sorry for your pain and i pray God see you through these bad times.However,your mother is still your mother either good or bad so you must try as much as possible to avoid what will make her feel bad to the extent of cursing you.howver,if there is any way you need assistance maybe you should say it in case some people may want to help out.God will help your mum ! |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by ULSHERLAN(m): 10:00am On Nov 08, 2011 |
i must commend you that you have takin a bold step by allowing peeople know whatz burning you.also this is a touching story cos you and your mum have been thru alot by losing loved ones.All i can think of is that you pray hard and draw close to elders, it is well with you |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Basildon1(m): 10:55am On Nov 08, 2011 |
Sorry about your plight but the help your mum needs is with a therapist and not on here. This is no trivial situation |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Nobody: 11:15am On Nov 08, 2011 |
So sorry about that, i think u should move back in with ur mother, moving out will only make things no good,because she will feel more abandon during this time u left her, no matter the way she abuse u, dont let that come in the way, just comfort her, let her know u are with her |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Nobody: 11:16am On Nov 08, 2011 |
if u love ur mum, rush now to synagogue church of all nations! I've seen prophet T.B joshua deliver people and even go ahead to assist them financially. If na me, i for nor shame, i for go there my broda. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by executinal(m): 11:25am On Nov 08, 2011 |
Very sad story indeed, from my own point of view, you are making the situation worst for her. Bellow is my reasons. 1, You relocated from her because anytime you happened to get misunderstanding with each other she rain couse on you? I think at this stage of her condition, all she need is encouragements and good ideas that will keep her hope alive. You being the first SON should play this role as far as your Father is no more. 2, You earn 10,000 a month, is just for you alone? this is not wise idea, thank GOD you even have hope at the end of the month, what you should do is bring that money home, buy some food stuff, it could be 2 mudus of rice and 2 mudus of beans with other stuffs like that and give some to your mom, while you keep some, even if is just 1000 Naira that gets to you at the end, you are keeping her hope alive. 3, If you know what usually lead to that misunderstanding, you try as much as you can to avoid it. 4, Go back to your mother and leave with her, staying away from her will cause more damage to her thinking. 5, Relate this problems to your family members and your mother relation as well. Above all pray always for her. Try as much as you can to carry her along and always give her hope. Good luck |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by phreakabit(m): 12:07pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Dude try to be as communicative as possible with her, as loneliness would only fuel it. Secondly buy some sleeping tabs (on prescription) and have her drink them . This would help the brain rest. . . . Good luck and God bless. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by ifyalways(f): 12:18pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
@OP,Your mom needs medical help.Constant hunger,poverty and general day-to-day frustrations plus all her personal loses is enough to make her or anyone start mumbling. Where are your other siblings and what do they do?Can you move back home?talk and comfort her;offer her companion and raise her hopes to a better morrow. btw,you don't need to attach your picture to this post. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by maclatunji: 12:21pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
She needs to go and live someplace where her immediate needs will be met and she will be sure that her Children's welfare will be taken care of. No doubt, she needs medical attention as well. For the moment give her all the support you can muster and pray to God for her every day. Take heart and be strong! |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by yommysomguy(m): 3:27pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
odiaero: |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Wallie(m): 3:38pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Your mother needs three things: [list] [li]Medical help by a real doctor (not chemist) so that the right medicine can be prescribed to her to deal with depression.[/li] [li]Counseling by a religious leader if she’s religious.[/li] [li]Love.[/li] [/list] She seems to be very depressed and the three things listed above will help her cope with her losses. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by omega25red(m): 3:47pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
i am not insulting your mother but she seems to need mental health care and fast. She seems to be suffering from "Major depression" (look it up) possibly she might also be bi-polar. What she needs is a visit with a competent phychiatrist who can prescribe the right type of medication for her like prozac, zoloft and abilify. A medical doctor will not be able to solve this one because this one na mental health case. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by 25omega(m): 3:51pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
[size=28pt]your mum needs mental health care and fast she seems to be suffering from major depression. Only a competent psychiatrist would work in this matter forget the pastors etc go see a mental health care professional[/size] |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Sholaf(f): 4:19pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
25omega: The best advice so far! |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Nobody: 4:38pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
The problem is financial. If you can relocate your mum to a nice apartment and she has everything she needs, then she will have hope for the future. Make sacrifices, give her your salary money for now tell that someone at work promised to help you with much money to take care of her. Watch her reaction. Do all you can to make sure she is taken care of. If you need financial assistance, ask. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by ogaju007(m): 5:49pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
25omega: Dude, I LOVE YOU!!! Spot on answer. Look at the other answers as stupid as ever. PRAY PRAY PRAY?>  WTF has that got to do with analyzing a situation? we cant even think anymore OMG. And to Oluface: This is when you need to show her love, affection and communicate well with her, If you cannot manage the situation with you mum now, would you run away as well if she was your wife? |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by newacca: 5:52pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Wallie: 2 Thumbs up for you. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by tEsLim(m): 6:03pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
1. Take her to the nearest psychiatrist I'll recommend a public hospital where the bills will be cheap and near because of transportation and all. Plead with her to understand with you she needs counseling. Don't really tell her its a psychiatrist because she might start telling you she is not "crazy" and why would she need such service. 2. Make sure you stay at your job and try to keep your job so you can have continuous inflow of cash no matter how small it is. What part of the country are you? Lagos? 3. Remove your picture from this post Send me an email majormediainc at gmail dot com there are something I would like to discuss with you privately. And by the way I'm atheist. I apply logic to solving my problems or any problems I encounter. So live good and spiritualism out of this. In life some people are just better positioned or opportuned by combination of multiple decisions taken in their lives. Better to start than never. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Kc3000: 6:27pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Stay strong bro. Some very good suggestions have been made here already, and do not hesitate to seek the help of other relatives. . .that's what families are there for. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Knight1(m): 6:44pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
tEsLim: or a MOD should please do that!!!! |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by silibaba: 6:50pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
I wish I could take the pain away If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day Everything will be alright if ya hold on It's a struggle everyday, gotta roll on just be strong and handle it cos no one will do it for you |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by johndavid1(m): 6:52pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
silibaba:poem poem poem |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by isaleggan: 7:07pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Poster, I am sorry for your troubles. No matter what you do, DO NOT MOVE HER IN WITH YOU. You will lose your job due to all the stress of dealing with her, and it will be even more downhill from there. I have personal experience with a troubled relation (not mother) whose problems exacerbated my own while trying to help her. And the curses? Yes, I know about that too. Move your mother to a place where she can be surrounded by relatives. Unless she hates them too, and starts cursing the heck out of them. lol. Just try and stay sane and don't make things worse for yourself. Sometimes, the best you can do is never enough. LeoMax: I concur with part of the above, but the poster makes barely enough to fend for himself. Please, let's not weigh him down while he's trying to improve his life. I doubt he can even go to school to learn a trade with all these going on - and the meager earnings. . .  P.S. Poster, Why did you include E.T.A.: buy some sleeping tabs (on prescription) and have her drink them . This would help the brain rest. . . . Very dangerous and foolish "advice." So, he should start doping her to make her sleep? And then when she gets addicted to that, he can start doping her to keep her awake? You gotta be kidding. "Help the brain rest"? |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Nobody: 7:43pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
kai, tEsLim: |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by vivika(f): 8:22pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
All of you who are critiquing prayers, its just because you have never been or seen anyone who has been in this position. My brother died abt 10yrs ago, 4yrs after this my mother was in the hospital for almost a yr, a yr after this my father died, 2yrs after this my aunt died. Why i am bringing this up is because in all of thiis drama, my mother was in the center. One thing i know for sure is that my mum's prayer and her faith in her God kept her from loosing it. It depends on the kind of person, i mean everyone copes with pain differently. if prayer works for her, let her try it out, if prayer doesn't seem to work let her see a therapist. Now all of you suggesting therapeutic care, its not enough for you to suggest but also tell him good and credible drs he can take her to. REMEMBER: GOD WILL NEVER GIVE YOU A PROBLEM THAT YOU CAN'T HANDLE |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by andyanders: 8:52pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Its a pity. Take her to Synagogue Church of Nations for deliverance. The man of God will deliver her and also take care of her. You also will need deliverance cos its like a family curse nd you too might suffer it in d future |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by delpee(f): 8:54pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Too much stress and misery for the poor woman. Dealing with depression is easier if there are people who can shower her with love and care. Seeing a psychiatrist may improve or worsen the situation as i discovered while helping a young undergraduate who was so depressed that he was considered to be on the borderline to major mental illness. The parents had a major economic downturn coupled with illness which affected the home badly. The psychiatrist collected a lot of money for tests and drugs which only appeared to make him feel worse right from the first pill taken. He simply refused to take more.A friend in the medical field offered conservative therapy instead and it worked. He said it is better as a first option before taking expensive drugs. All it entailed was to have the guy relocate to a different environment where he was showered with love, forced to rest and engaged in positive activities with his peers. He took NO DRUGS except regular vitamins especially Vit B which is good for depression. (i no be doctor o!). He was back to normal within a month, is back in school and never went back to the hospital! We were told that if he had continued with the drugs, he would have become dependent and sick most of the time so the psychiatrist makes more money. This may not be easy for a woman who has kids to care for though. @poster Can you get close and reliable family members informed of her plight? Also try widows groups in religious organisations. They usually provide strong support for each other while benefiting from the assistance offered by other members to improve on their economy. As for a therapist try the government hospitals to avoid the profit motive in the private sector. BTW the curses she voices out arises from frustration. She means no harm. God will take care of you all. |
| Re: Help Me Please: My Mother Is Becoming Abnormal by Nobody: 9:01pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
vivika:you are right. @op you need God first, then you have to be close to your mom, console her, cheer her up, help her financially with the little you have. I pray God keep her for you, and please be strong in your faith. |
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