Nairaland Forum

THINGS I'VE LEARNT 4RM NOLLYWOOD

1.An actress can wear thesame hair do for more than a yr, even in longer flashbacks.

2. In every romance movie,som1 must die.
,  , 
3. It is possible 2 hit a person without actually touching them!

4. Any1 who gets hit by a car dies immediatelly.

5. Poisoned food always tastes better.

6. D best way 2 make money is by visiting a'Babalawo' (herbalist )/ joining a cult/ sleeping with rich men.

7. 1 of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.

8. There is never an end 2 ur suffering, except death!

9. With a pastor,  all things are possible.

10.Gun shots & knock out sound thesame

11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not twistd his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics.

12. U are in love, U want 2 take ur girl out,D best place U take her 2 is,
*Mr.Biggs/ Tantalizers: where U'll most probably see an'ex'
while feedin each other.
*The beach:where it is
imperative dat U ride a donkey&carry her
playfully.
*Or the best: take her 2 buy som new ugly clothes.

13. The police are extremely efficient unlike their counterparts in real life

14. Every problem u av is spiritual

15.Wen u're shot in d chest,it doesn't really matter, ur head will be bandaged,same for ur legs.

16.When advertising a movie,u av to shout cos people are deaf.

17. If a car crash has to happen, d driver has to drive in a zig zag motion on an empty highway without an oncoming vehicle.

18. Sometimes d title has absolutely nothin to do wit d movie, and other times wen you u see d title and the poster, U know it ALL.

19. At d end of a 3hr movie, u'l b reminded dat THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. WATCH OUT FOR PART 2

And finally,

20. All Nigerian films are marketed at Ebinpejo Lane Idumota or Iweka road Onitsha

Hahahaha, hilarious post. Nice one!

yobo one:

THINGS I'VE LEARNT 4RM NOLLYWOOD

1.An actress can wear thesame hair do for more than a yr, even in longer flashbacks.

2. In every romance movie,som1 must die.
,  , 
3. It is possible 2 hit a person without actually touching them!

4. Any1 who gets hit by a car dies immediatelly.

5. Poisoned food always tastes better.

6. D best way 2 make money is by visiting a'Babalawo' (herbalist )/ joining a cult/ sleeping with rich men.

7. 1 of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.

8. There is never an end 2 your suffering, except death!

9. With a pastor,  all things are possible.

10.Gun shots & knock out sound thesame

11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not twistd his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics.

12. U are in love, U want 2 take your girl out,D best place U take her 2 is,
*Mr.Biggs/ Tantalizers: where U'll most probably see an'ex'
while feedin each other.
*The beach:where it is
imperative dat U ride a donkey&carry her
playfully.
*Or the best: take her 2 buy som new ugly clothes.

13. The police are extremely efficient unlike their counterparts in real life

14. Every problem u av is spiritual

15.Wen u're shot in d chest,it doesn't really matter, your head will be bandaged,same for your legs.

16.When advertising a movie,u av to shout cos people are deaf.

17. If a car crash has to happen, d driver has to drive in a zig zag motion on an empty highway without an oncoming vehicle.

18. Sometimes d title has absolutely nothin to do wit d movie, and other times wen you u see d title and the poster, U know it ALL.

19. At d end of a 3hr movie, u'l b reminded dat THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. WATCH OUT FOR PART 2

And finally,

20. All Nigerian films are marketed at Ebinpejo Lane Idumota or Iweka road Onitsha

seriously you have some points but very funny at the sametime

However I can never abandon Nollywood
http://globalblackhistory.blogspot.com/2011/12/nollywood-and-africans-telling-their.html

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Omg! This poster is funny and a hardcore Nollywood fan,