I regularly tutor at a family residence. This family also babysits other children in their home. One child in particular stand out. The child is very disruptive. He disturbs my tutoring session from time to time. So I will sometime hold him until he calms down. He climbs on top of chair, table. Makes loud noises and rarely talks. I know he has autism I see many of the signs and have personally worked with kids with autism. Instead of getting to root of the problem the family (mom, dad, grandma) shouts at him. And come up with excuses like the reason this boy acts this way is because he stayed in the house too long and never come out.

I want to know is it my place to tell this family the child is autistic not mental. Autism is a neurological disorder. And advice them how to deal with them?

I have dealt with a parent who interrupted my math tutoring session to scream at her son threatening him with a shoe bc he couldnt get an addition problem. She told me to be more forceful. The boy still was not getting it, rather cried in fear. I have told his mom that she was being to harsh and allow me to work with her son without interruptions she promptly dismissed ( in a sly way) me.

I know it difficult and disheartening to deal w a child with a disability or a disorder, especially in a African culture, but this ridiculous.

To me, the child seems autistic.

My clinic research labs works with the behavior analysis of autistic children. You cannot control what they cannot control. Using punishment contingency (i.e screaming at the child) is not going to work on autistic children.

The best thing to do is to advice the parent to take the child to a Behavior Analyst Clinic. Only they can determine the best behavioral technique to use to reduce, increase or extinguish wanted or unwanted behavior.

Based on the mother you described, she's uneducated. So are many Africans when it comes with dealing with autistic children.

A child I'm currently working on is above 6, can't say his name or recognize his name. Looks fairly normal. Cannot speak, just makes distinctive noises. We've taught him sign language, which was very hard since he seemed unfocused and hated learning. Using positive reinforcement and immediate delivery contingency will also help. 

Sadly, screaming at an autistic child will not solve anything since most of the time, they can't even comprehend their punishment. Advice the parents tot take the child to a Behavior analysis clinic.

You can also share some reading materials on the topic with the mom so that she better understands that her son is not being described as a 'retard' - a lot of Nigerian women are unaware and sensitive to the topic and immediately become defensive when they hear something might be wrong with their child.

Check out www.9jamom.com for more information.

during my internship, i came across so many things and i have a question for your case Ileke, above 6 in the USA and has not been diagnosed?
are the parent taking him to his pediatrician? from his doctor routine check up since he was a baby, they could have fiqure he has speech delay and work from there eg go to audiologist, behavioral disorder specialist, start speech therapy if he has speech delay and then the public school can also get involved. teaching him sign without first diagnosing what his problems are will not help.

Ileke, tell the parent to call their public school. they do so many things audiology, speech test, case management, behavior specialist, autistic specialist, social workers etc. so let them get the public sch involved.


OP, where is the family, nigeria or outside?

Ileke-IdI:

To me, the child seems autistic.

My clinic research labs works with the behavior analysis of autistic children. You cannot control what they cannot control. Using punishment contingency (i.e screaming at the child) is not going to work on autistic children.

The best thing to do is to advice the parent to take the child to a Behavior Analyst Clinic. Only they can determine the best behavioral technique to use to reduce, increase or extinguish wanted or unwanted behavior.

Based on the mother you described, she's uneducated. So are many Africans when it comes with dealing with autistic children.

A child I'm currently working on is above 6, can't say his name or recognize his name. Looks fairly normal. Cannot speak, just makes distinctive noises. We've taught him sign language, which was very hard since he seemed unfocused and hated learning. Using positive reinforcement and immediate delivery contingency will also help. 

Sadly, screaming at an autistic child will not solve anything since most of the time, they can't even comprehend their punishment. Advice the parents tot take the child to a Behavior analysis clinic.

Wow, what a small world we live in Knowing Dafidi's vehement stance on the grounds that there is nothing like Autism, was actually contemplating on passing by "yours and his" someday and conveniently forgetting my 5 years old behind, without leaving a forwarding address, and conveniently and suddenly remembering a week later that i forgot something at yours Even me sef wey like children and can handle any challenges they present dey bow for am sometimes, even a stubborn goat would not come near you and stop "misbehaving" when they see cane in your hands, chai, 

armyofone:

during my internship, i came across so many things and i have a question for your case Ileke, above 6 in the USA and has not been diagnosed?
are the parent taking him to his pediatrician? from his doctor routine check up since he was a baby, they could have fiqure he has speech delay and work from there eg go to audiologist, behavioral disorder specialist, start speech therapy if he has speech delay and then the public school can also get involved. teaching him sign without first diagnosing what his problems are will not help.

Ileke, tell the parent to call their public school. they do so many things audiology, speech test, case management, behavior specialist, autistic specialist, social workers etc. so let them get the public sch involved.


OP, where is the family, nigeria or outside?

E don tay when you commot for naija


You know your Nigerian pipu and living in denial na And if that too fails, they have been known to ship such children to Nigeria that they are just being stubborn and refusing to talk, so beating them forces them to talk

This is sad. Are you here in the US. How old is the child. If the child is 3 or older then he should have an IEP by now. The parents cannot say that they are ignorant of what his issues are. I have dealt with african parents of kids with disabilities and I think it will be better for me to reserve my comments. I think you have a responsibility to say something. How you say it though is important to the outcome you want. i will even go as far as saying that if they do not start trying to help the child you report it to the school district. Maybe they can reach out

USA

Does he go to school? What state do you live

armyofone:

during my internship, i came across so many things and i have a question for your case Ileke, above 6 in the USA and has not been diagnosed?
are the parent taking him to his pediatrician? from his  doctor routine check up since he was a baby, they could have fiqure he has speech delay and work from there eg go to audiologist, behavioral disorder specialist, start speech therapy if he has speech delay and then the public school can also get involved. teaching him sign without first diagnosing what his problems are will not help.

Ileke, tell the parent to call their public school. they do so many things audiology, speech test, case management, behavior specialist, autistic specialist, social workers etc. so let them get the public sch involved.


OP, where is the family, nigeria or outside?

He's been diagnosed since 2, from one clinic to another, and the parents are the ones who brought him to  our clinic then.
Anywaz, make I no talk much. I signed a confidential contract.

Busy_body:


Wow, what a small world we live in Knowing Dafidi's vehement stance on the grounds that there is nothing like Autism, was actually contemplating on passing by "yours and his" someday and conveniently forgetting my 5 years old behind, without leaving a forwarding address, and conveniently and suddenly remembering a week later that i forgot something at yours  Even me sef wey like children and can handle any challenges they present dey bow for am sometimes, even a stubborn goat would not come near you and stop "misbehaving" when they see cane in your hands, chai, 

HAHAHAHAH!!

You're funny!! Plz no more. Seriously. 

Anywaz, no make pesin come insult me for here o

Ileke-IdI:

He's been diagnosed since 2, from one clinic to another, and the parents are the ones who brought him to  our clinic then.
Anywaz, make I no talk much. I signed a confidential contract.

HAHAHAHAH!!

You're funny!! Plz no more. Seriously. 

Anywaz, no make pesin come insult me for here o

My child, I have given up trying to ask you to bring home Dangote's pickin as our inlaw so make do with our Dafidi na, ehn biko, all my hair has gone grey from waiting forever, do you want my remaining 3 teeth to fall out too ni, if you loff me, you should be able to do anything to make me happy na and whisk the dude off his sexy feet na

Okay i promise to stop teasing you on the condition that you agree to marry dafidi seriously

I need to rephrase. The child in question is babysat at this family's house. I feel like this family is unaware of his condition and therefore see this child as a problem child. I tutor family's children at this same house so I am aware of the child behavior and just want to inform this family that he's autistic. But I'm just the tutor, I dont know if it my place to tell the family that he is autistic and they should treat him a certain way. The child's parent should have inform him of his autism but clearly haven't. Whether he has an IEP, or receive therapy, or have been diagnosed. I don't know. I just find the family shouting and excuses very ridiculous.

That's a tough spot that the OP is in. I can imagine that in Nigeria the first suspicion here with such children will be evil spirits and demonic possession.

Kieryn I think you need to talk to the family but one has to be diplomatic. It might be enough if you emphasize to them that the need to seek professional help for the child. Without mentioning your suspicions explain to them that there are so many possibilities of helping children today with professional help. Many parents find it difficult to accept that their child has problem and the faster that child gets help the more chances it has in life. I think we have this attitude even with ourselves. I have seen so many women with panic attacks and other nervous problems that need professional help but when I ask them to seek help they feel that they are being labelled as mad or insane. We simply need to come to terms with the fact that the mind as well asthe body sometimes need healing. Once the parents are made aware of the situation and accept it and try and handle it rightly the greatest hguddle has been crossed.

@Kieryn

Can you do something for me?

Can you observe the kid very well and post the observations here?

1. His behaviors, how he expresses his demands
2. How he plays with other kids (if you've seen him with other kids).
3. How does he behave when he's being tasked to do something?
4. When he's alone, how does he react?
5. When you're in th room with him and you deny him attention, how does he react?
6. When you give him attention, how is his behavior different than when you don't give him attention?

etc


Little things like that.

Busy_body:


My child, I have given up trying to ask you to bring home Dangote's pickin as our inlaw so make do with our Dafidi na, ehn biko, all my hair has gone grey from waiting forever, do you want my remaining 3 teeth to fall out too ni, if you loff me, you should be able to do anything to make me happy na and whisk the dude off his sexy feet na

Okay i promise to stop teasing you on the condition that you agree to marry dafidi seriously

I will not let you ko mi si wahala.

Good day madam, I say good day

@Ileke-Idi

He pretty much a loner. Either because he like to be alone or the other kids avoid him. He seems to work well when he is in his own little world. He get fixated on a particular toy and tv show. He enjoys climbing and doing headstands. And makes a repetitive sound over and over this usually only occur when he wants something or becomes annoyed. I haven't heard him say any words. On the other hand, he respond well to music. Several occasions I notice him move to the beat of the music or even hum it. He doesnt like to held. He doesnt respond to his name or make eye contact with me. He never approach me, I usually the one to approach him. But he rarely respond to me.When he starts acting up, throwing a tantrum I hold him and rock him back and forth. He like the repetitive motion. but he only let me hold him for a minute.

kieryn:

@Ileke-Idi

He pretty much a loner. Either because he like to be alone or the other kids avoid him. He seems to work well when he is in his own little world. He get fixated on a particular toy and tv show. He enjoys climbing and doing headstands. And makes a repetitive sound over and over this usually only occur when he wants something or becomes annoyed. I haven't heard him say any words. On the other hand, he respond well to music. Several occasions I notice him move to the beat of the music or even hum it. He doesnt like to held. He doesnt respond to his name or make eye contact with me. He never approach me, I usually the one to approach him. But he rarely respond to me.When he starts acting up, throwing a tantrum I hold him and rock him back and forth. He like the repetitive motion. but he only let me hold him for a minute.

Et viola!!

My client is the same at school, however when in the clinic he socializes well with us. Often climbing on my lap. He's fixated with one particular game: Puzzle, the needle (toy).

But when I mean observe him well, spend a day to critically observe how he reacts in the situations I gave you. Record them consistently for a week.

That's if it's not too much of a bother.

Legibly organize your date so that it will give you stiffer ground to stand on when you eventually decide to address the child's parents. Infact, if you can record him for a week, it'll be good.

With those data you can make several observations and try to determine how to curb some target behaviors.
1. Functional analysis : What is causing what
2. Determine what punishment or reinforcer to use.

etc etc.

Ileke-IdI:


I will not let you ko mi si wahala.

Good day madam, I say good day

Which wahala are you talking about my pickin, but we are still communicating in the same posh and highly evolved ile ife language na. I am not happy at all that since we sent you to University in Ekiti, you have started speaking in that local bush ekiti kete dialect

kieryn:

@Ileke-Idi

He pretty much a loner. Either because he like to be alone or the other kids avoid him. He seems to work well when he is in his own little world. He get fixated on a particular toy and tv show. He enjoys climbing and doing headstands. And makes a repetitive sound over and over this usually only occur when he wants something or becomes annoyed. I haven't heard him say any words. On the other hand, he respond well to music. Several occasions I notice him move to the beat of the music or even hum it. He doesnt like to held. He doesnt respond to his name or make eye contact with me. He never approach me, I usually the one to approach him. But he rarely respond to me.When he starts acting up, throwing a tantrum I hold him and rock him back and forth. He like the repetitive motion. but he only let me hold him for a minute.

You can reach out to him by mimicking him when he is humming or playing, after a while he will start observing you do the same thing as him, and you might even be able to get a smile out of him. They are also in a world of their own, so you need to be at eye level with them to let them take notice of you by kneeling or stooping in front of them so he can see your face when you are communicating with him.

Ileke-IdI:

Et viola!!

My client is the same at school, however when in the clinic he socializes well with us. Often climbing on my lap.

Thats an atypical behaviour, they avoid children as they prolly feel they are beneath them and sometimes treat them with disdain, yet have this inappropriate affection for adults, hugging, kissing them, etc

Busy_body:



You can reach out to him by mimicking him when he is humming or playing, after a while he will start observing you do the same thing as him, and you might even be able to get a smile out of him. They are also in a world of their own, so you need to be at eye level with them to let them take notice of you by kneeling or stooping in front of them so he can see your face when you are communicating with him.

Not all the time. She needs to limit the amount of attention she gives him.
That's why I asked her to conduct an observation research with solid data.
Continuos attention like that would make the autistic child more prone to attention-seeking behaviors, which may be highly dangerous(i.e SIB).
Let her conduct an observational research, bring the data onto NL, then we may try to apply functional treatment (if it's possible).

PS: As for humming and mimicking him and him observing and doing the same, it's actually more complicated than that. For you to ask them to do a simple task like that, it's hard for an autistic child to comply. You'd have to go through several modeling and guidance.

I wish the poster could just come back and report here

Busy_body:


Which wahala are you talking about my pickin, but we are still communicating in the same posh and highly evolved ile ife language na. I am not happy at all that since we sent you to University in Ekiti, you have started speaking in that local bush ekiti kete dialect

I prefer to take the above as a statement of compliment.
I think we've all heard an educated Ile-Ife girajuate. And frankly, Iyalode, I'm not impressed by you.

Busy_body:

Thats an atypical behaviour, they avoid children as [b]they prolly feel they are beneath [/b]them and sometimes treat them with disdain, yet have this inappropriate affection for adults, hugging, kissing them, etc

Ah ahnnn. . . . @ the bolded. Is that really the reason?

I am trying to do the observations it difficult bc I am there 2 to 3 times a week. But I am recording and I will bring the results as soon as possible. Thanks.

So are 70% of Nigerians!
Dem full NL ke!
Mu he he he he he he