Please can landers out there tell us the real test off a girl's virginity?

I read in an article by a doctor that the "hymen" is not the best way to test a girl virginity as it can easily be torn by other activities(which is not sex oo or not messing around),without the girl's knowledge.

Please this is urgent,someone lost hers(my very good friend,i have known her for 11yrs) and she never messed around all her life,church going etc and she is really depressed because after 27yrs,she suddenly realised she lost it without knowing how. (she said she has never gone to a guys house before talkless of getting drugged by one or go clubbing or partying).she even said she was never "attacked" before.i was baffled and went on this reasearch and i found this;

"Hymen

Kalpana asks,
What is Hymen? Is bleeding during the first intercourse a sign of the girl's virginity?

Dear Kalpana,
The hymen is a thin membrane that covers the vagina. It may get torn without the girl's knowledge while doing certain sports activities. It may also get torn due to masturbation or use of tampons. Sometimes it is absent since birth or just folds naturally along the walls of vagina. If it is unbroken, a little bleeding may takes place at the first intercourse, however it CANNOT be regarded as a test of the girl's virginity."

for more on this(my research above),check out the link below


http://blog.fropper.com/times/2005/07/how_safe_is_the.html

NB:This is a serious and urgent matter(she has stopped eating and she is getting lean),experts' and knowlegdeable people's views will really be appreciated too.

Thanks!!!

Whats wrong with her? Is it only when her husband pierces her hymen that when she can show him that she loves him or what

She is not eating nke? If she kills herself,Life goes on ooooooo.

she should tell her boyfriend what happened an if the boyfriend rejects her.She should reject the guy back.

Is it because of her hymen she is not eating? That is serious oooooooooo


I understand what she is going through.What she has been keeping all of a sudden should disapear but she should not kill herself oooooooooooooooooo

@ mellow and sky-walker

Thanks alot!!! u just touched a life.

As for how she knew she lost it: She just met a cool guy( this the first time i can tell u that my friend is really in love).though the guy aint that perfect but i think they but deserve each other.

They had dated for like 7 months.i think in the course of knowing each other better she hinted the guy that she was a virgin and would want to be one till her wedding day.the guy wanted sex and she explained that she cant do it and that she kept it all this while and not want to lose it some months b4 her wedding(they planned getting married soon).he agreed because he loved her.

Only for the guy to later do a kind of "testing" and he told my friend point blank that she deceived him all these months.Hope u now get the picture?

It is really painful,really.

''what's a big test of a wman's virginity?''

what's the big fuss over women's virginity with nairaland men? this is the most absurd , nonsense i have seen in a long while, please find another hobby. male chauvinist pigs

I honestly don't understand your last post. Please, explin better.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

@ kulashaker

my sister abi o

But i just can fanthom wat really happened with my friend.Is anyone out there with similar story?or my friend is the 1st ever??

@ mellow

Wat dont u get pls??

Poster,

I think u r the guy, and u probably got what u deserved. How in the world u r looking for something u ur sef can't offer?. What is the problem with most of our guys asking for a virgin to marry and they r the ones sleeping with every Lisa and Nikky all over the place?. Get a grip brother and marry the woman if u truly love her. You placed ur sef in a position to be lied to in the first place, cos u have made the woman think she has to be a virgin to be decent woman or a marriage material. Drop all these ur childish questions and concentrate on other good things she offers.

@ Rlst84real

i the first place it aint so cool to think u r so smart and depend 100% on ur thoughts.in the first place,i am not a man or a guy.and if u r trying to say i'm fake,then my dear u r 100% wrong again,frequent nairaland users(most that r now my friends would be laughing at u right now ).

But really,that is y some ppl dont want to post some threads here,ppl always tink they r fake.(at least i didnt ask anyone to send me money or someting), ppl dont believe wat is true sometimes and rather believe the lies.i only wanted to be elightened by experts and ppl that might have experienced such and not just for me to post stupid or fake threads.

wat u said abt guys looking for virgins while they r not,is right.i support that cos i'm a girl.


NB:Just for the records my dear,i'm a girl and wat i posted happened to my best friend,believe it or not.

Cheers.

Pls ladies(or doctors,people) out there who have experienced or know more on this topic,SHOULD PLS HELP OUT!!!
u might touch a life by doing so.

Thanks i advance.

@Poster

If u r not the one in question may be u should copy all these responses and email them to your friend's boyfriend or perhaps your friend should look for another man who is matured and ready for relationship based on pure love virgin or no virgin irrespective.

Ok I am finding it hard to feel sorry for her, infact it is funny. What nonsense. So she is going to starve herself because, ? She does not have any problems so she decided to make one for herself. That's my take.

@ R1st84
thanks,she saw all the replies,wanted to see her smile and she did with the replies and the fact that i wanted a solution for her.(she came over to my place dis weekend).

@Outstrip
well,i understand my friend perfectly well(maybe cos she is my friend).she has never been wayward all her life,i repeat,never.i have never seen her with anyone until this guy,for real.(she is my bestest friend so i know).so just imagine the shock.but she's better now,moving on.The guy is still around,but not so cool with it(d virgin stuff).but they r still on.

Thanks guys.

So now that her boyfriend has decided to manage her despite the fact that she has never had sex with anyone before him is she happy and does he plan on marrying her

well, i cant say if they still want to go on with their wedding plans(nxt yr).believe me i wont want to mention that to her not to bring in sad memories(cos she is happier now).

Thanks!!!

The fact that you cannot tell that I am being sarcastic just makes me want to hit my head on the floor. Your friend is not very smart, her boyfriend is an ass and you ---- I am not sure what to say about you yet

There is no real test.

@Outstrip

y the dissing,well i wont have replied u if i knew r u being sarcastic.really all i wanted to know was in the thread, not neccessarily advice for my friend on how to live the rest of her life, but to know if the'virginity' stuff was real.dah!!! some people and their ways of handling things,sho u sabi me b4 abi them send una wa o.if u dont have anything to say abt the thread(virginity),then forget abt my friend,abi wetinu dey interested in her??sho!!!

BRO DONT MIND SOME PPLE WEY MAKE NOISE HERE SOME NEVER C VIRGIN BEFORE AND U TOO WHY CANT U OPEN UP AND TELL US THAT U ARE THE REAL BOYFRIEND.LOVE IS THE MAIN THING IN ANY RELATIONSHIP SO FORGET ABOUT VIRGIN OR NO VIRGIN ALTHOUGH TO SOME EXTENT IT COUNTS BUT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL SO WHY THE HEADACHE FORGET ABOUT ALL THIS AND MOVE UP.

@gbasky,thanks man!!!

and for the upteemth time, ,i aint a guy.i bi girl ooo.

the hymen can b broken thru various sports and things bt she would still b tite bt dere wld b no blood.if her boyfrnd does nt accept her word then f*ck him.r u sure it was nt his 'testing' dat 'dabaru' d whole stuffis he a virgin himself?abeg,i dnt tink he is rite 4 her.he luvs her virginity nt her so,

the thief of a guy broke her hymen and now he is acting like a tortoise because he knows she is naive. Kai if na me i go cut that rod he calls a privates he used in the first place.

This is a very crazy topic, i saw it a few weeks ago on http://hypernigeria.com/index.php?topic=34.msg434#new
and concluded that in this world when medicals doctors can replace the thing and make a lady become a virgin after having children virginity might have been redefined.

your hymen and virginity are two entirely diffent things. when are people in this country going to learn this? marring a vigin does not make her a good person, marring a virgin doea not make her less likly to cheat - some people say more likley. you loose your virginity ONLY when a pe.nis is inserted into your va.gina! not when you use a tampon, vibrator, do gymnastics or whatever. if your "friend" did loose her virginity and cant remeber then she needs serious help for she has poor memory or drinks to much. if she is a virgin but does not have an intact hymen then she needs to read a damn book. if some guy gives her an issue for it then he isnt worth it since he obviouly is unable to educate himself.

@poster
Much ado about nothing, please tell your friend to relax jare, if she tells her fiance that she is and he doesnt believe her then its obvious she is not the man for her, what was the guy doing testing in the first place? Hypocrite!! he wants to test yet he wants to marry a virgin, the same guy wanted sex with her earlier on yet is upset she may npt be a virgin what a clown"

@ ALL

i am not so concerned abt the mischievious identity, unnecessary heartache bla bla bla


@ My concern is simple. How did the GUY TEST?

hello, i think i have a similar experience to share. it happened to me as well, and i was like , you've been decieving me. to be sincere there is no big deal about bn a virgin or not. WHO BROKE IT OR NOT. i had to confirm from a gynaecologist friend who told me point blank: "a woman can lose her virginity without knowing it, more over, it is NOT in all cases there would be blood flow. SO MY MAN, SHE COULD BE A VIRGIN. SO tell your friend all is OK.
cheerio

The friend is now married with 3kids

just take her to okija shrine to swear, thats the only place or any other powerful shrines that can get the real truth of a woman virginity.

what kind of testing did this guy do?
This is really sick. I think this girl should leave the man because it would only get worse later on if they get married. After the marriage he would also be doing his tests to see if the woman cheated on him.
It is apparent that she would not be able to bear the psychological stress of such pressure.