A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon
down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and
, stands next to the Minister.

The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are
you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."

The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him
right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.

"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings
him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?"

"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.

Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30
seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of
God, have you found Jesus yet?!!!??"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is
where he fell in?"

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

, They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"

An Irish man, an Australian man and a Scouser all in a bar.

, Just as they were all enjoying their beers, the scouser looks up and says to the others "damn, thats jesus!".

So with that they all buy jesus a drink. The Irish man buys him a guinness, the Australian buys him a fosters, and the scouser buys him a bitter.

After Jesus drinks all his beers he goes to the group to shake their hands.

He shakes the Irish man's hand and with that gives off a yell of relief, "Hell jesus, that bad back i've had all my life has just gone". He shakes the Australian man's hand and he also gives off a yell, "That Arthritis i've had for 20 years has just disappeared!".

Jesus goes to shake the Scousers who says, "Bleep off, i'm on disability".

The first ladies of
UK, Russia and
France were
having a meeting
with Lady Hilary
, Clinton.

The subject of
discussion was t pe.ni.s of their
respective spouse.

The first lady of
UK says, "It is like
a gentle man- it
stands up, as soon
as I enter the
room"

The lady
from Russia says,
"It is like an army
officer- you do not
know where he will attack from- front or back, "

The French lady says,
"It is like the
screen in the
auditorium- once
the act is
performed, it
drops down, "

Then Hilary says,
"It's like a rumour, it moves from one mouth to another, "

Ibrahim Babangida and
his driver were cruising
along a country road one
night when all of a
sudden they hit a pig,
, killing it instantly. In view
of the approaching
elections IBB told his
driver to go up to the
farm and explain to the
owners what happened
so that he could "settle"
them. About an hour later
IBB sees his driver
staggering back to the car
with a bottle of beer in
one hand and half a
roasted chicken in the
other."What happened to
you?" IBB asks. "Oga, the
farmer give me one
carton of beer, him wife
cook for me and dash me
this chicken and him
daughter say she go
marry me." " Haba, what
did you tell them?" IBB
asks. The driver replies "I
am Ibrahim Babangida's
driver and I just killed the
pig."

TOTAL JOKES GRADING: D






REMARKS: D FOR AT LEAST THE TIME YOU TOOK TO  PASTE THESE BED-TIME STORIES

Three Pastors met, a
Nigerian Pastor, Ghanian
Pastor and a Cameroonian
Pastor. They were
discussing what they did
, with offerings from the
Church.

The Cameroonian
Pastor said, after collecting
offerings from the Church,
he draws a circl, he stands
in the middle of the circle,
he throws the offerings
(money) up, anyone that
falls within the circle is for
him, anyone that falls
outside the circle is for
God (Church).

The Ghanian pastor said, after collecting
offerings, he draws a
straight line, he throws
the offering up, any one
that falls on the right side
is for him, anyone that
falls on the left is for God.


The Nigerian Pastor
looks up and said, for him,
after collecting the
offerings, he looks up and
throws the offering up
anyone that falls back to
the ground is for him, and
anyone that stays up there
is for God.

are dis ur jokes meant to mek us laugh?

Kudos for second joke.

Dis section is dry 2day . . . so in that case

BUMP

HA HA HA