Aparche:

I don't understand, what exactly do you want to solve? Because it's like you have made up your mind to end the marriage.
I don't see how I can help you with this.

jennykadry:

Lol the sex with the othe guy was better wasn't it? I don't know how a sane woman would wanna get back at her husband by cheating on him? You are sick, very sick and so is your husband

And yea, I remember your story from last year

chaircover:

First step is to talk to him about how you feel. You are both going to have to sit down and thrash things out. The fact that you both had affairs shows that there are deep seated problems in the relationship so you both have to address those. You are both going to hear things that you don’t like but that is the only way forward.

Now if you are looking for the butterflies in my stomach, I sit by the phone all day long waiting for him to call, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up each time I hear his voice 5 years into marriage then I am sorry to say that you won’t get that, maybe that is why you got bored and decided to have an affair but I am sorry to tell you that if that is what you are looking for, you will have to have an affair every year for the rest of your life

What you get from long term relationships instead is a deep seated love, warmth & affection for each other & you almost blend into one and the same person. This is what people mean when they say soul mate. That is why people sometimes say that couples who have been married for long begin to look like each other. Its not that they look like each other, it’s just that they have kind of merged into the same person with their views, body language, gesticulations, choice of words etc and they can communicate across the room without even opening their mouths.

Marriage however doesn’t have to mean boring and you can still put the spark back into it by getting out and doing things together. The best thing you can do is to invest in is a good baby sitter. The kids came after the marriage and shouldn’t be the only focus of the marriage; this is a mistake that many people make. The more things that you do together as a couple the more closer you will become. Rediscover each other; court each other again & make out time for each other. Slow down on other not so important things like housework etc. Yes I said Housework!!

I know that I am making it sound easy. It is not o!! . . . And it will take time and a lot of hard work on both sides and you will probably need the help of a professional marriage guidance counsellor to help you both. But give it a try before you both throw in the towel.

~Minx~:

Yes it was, much much better probably because it was forbidden. You know what they say about forbidden fruit.

[b]I didn't cheat to get back at him, it just happened, I didn't plan for it to happen and it's the past now.[/b]If concluding that I am sick will bring you joy then, why the hell not?

Richvkunt:



Ronke,
Read the bold part again.
This woman is a disgrace and does not know her role in life!

Richvkunt:

^^^
If a man did this you would all be on his d1ck.
Right now it is a female,so we need to be understanding and forgive and forget.
Talk about double standards!

ronkebp:

Nope!!!! it is more about ''realisation'', you would notice in my post i did not mention her husbands infidelity and hers, when i was meting- out words to her, i just focused on her reasons for wanting to leave her marraige. Sometimes we all grow up and learn everyday, gone are those days, i would be tearing my womanhood because a man dey cheat, na another person pickin, if they failed to receive proper training form their parents on how to keep their kondo in their pants, then that is not my duty, my duties are to train my kids in the best possible way with help from God, so that they would be very use-ful to themselves, society, generation and above all family.


so my dear, Nairaland has really opened my eyes to some things.

~Minx~:

Yes I have made up my mind but what is going to be my reason for ending the marriage. There are lots of people involved, his family, mine, what do i tell them. He has not done anything wrong how would i justify such a big move

~Minx~ link=topic=839319.ms g9900169#msg9900169 date=1325765965:

Yes it was, much much better probably because it was forbidden. You know what they say about forbidden fruit.

I didn't cheat to get back at him, it just happened, I didn't plan for it to happen and it's the past now.

ifyalways:

Love is not all there is to marriage,I'd keep saying this.When the love waxes cold,the bosoms drop and fly,the blokos shrivel and it takes alot more work to get 'it' nod. . .other things like mutually shared interests/hobbies,great communicating,maturity are the ingredients that wud help one to hold on,swim through the tides and still come out fine,together as one.

@OP,i'd say give it a shot one more time.We all fall in and out of love sometimes but at the end of the day,we look at our partners eyes and see reasons to stay put.
If however you think you've done it all,tried it all and still feel its NOT worth it then goodluck with your "walking away" plans.

dolly a:

communication is d key. share your feelings, concern n disappointment with your hubby and also try to see him as the man you fell in love with . i wish u happiness in any decision u make.

I Have Fallen Out Of Love