^^^DK
 

You might want to stay in a failed marriage because of your child, but what about the man? Are you sure he won't ultimately dump both of you for his ex? You don't have the support of his family and you've now lost the support of your husband. What exactly is there to save? Thank God it's only one child. You might want to consider cutting your losses and moving on. Or be prepared to be in a polygamous marriage. That baby is his, BTW.

This is why they said children should not marry children. Go and sort urselves out privately not on d internet.

This thread is the first one that I am seeing that the complainant and the accused are both stating their sides of the story, it is interesting.

accusedman:

It's so easy for people to make judgements based on one side of the story. i'm not going to make a case for myself here because i'm not guilty. My wife knows that i don't like addressing issues when i'm angry but has decided to respond in the heat of anger. She knows all my ex girlfriends, she has passwords to all my emails, facebook, ATM. i have kept no secrets from her. I HAVE NEVER and will NEVER cheat on my wife. We men sometimes lie based on certain reasons. sometimes it is because we dont want to hurt the other party. My wife claims that we agreed not to keep correspondence with our ex but did do just that until recently. All i can say is the devil is at work. people want 2 see our marriage crash but i will work harder at keeping it than when we were going to get married. she is overreacting. All my exes know i'm married and a no go area. when she calms down and gets over her emotion it will all be sorted. finally, before i got married i never cheated how much more, now that i'm married.

How did I miss this?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

my dear, go and make ur marriage work! No marriage is smooth sailing i tell u. What most of us women lack is humility. For me i believe so much in stooping to conquer. Works like magic some may think u re stupid but d truth is u ld ve u hubby eating right off ur palms.

Na so so husband-wife drama them dey do for us nowadays for nairaland? Another one is playing itself right now in Romance section. Abeg make una enter bedroom lovey-dovey solve una problem, the next thing we are going to be told is that one will accuse the other of having no trust and snooping on the other in the computer.
How about cleaning after you when you are done using the computer if you are sharing one with your partner?
Make una no give una self hypertension abeg, Mr. Accused pull your family together and make wifey happy. Thank you-o-o-o.

Richvkunt:


[b]Thank you for your observation.
This Original poster,opened the thread on the romance section initially,hence the advise she was receiving,before the mods decided to move the thread to the family section,however this is not to exonerate posters in the family section,where now a days the slightest misunderstanding between a husband and wife is greeted with advise of DIVORCE.
Infact there is a female poster who specialises in coming on line to regale us with stories of her divorce, she comes on line to glamorise divorce,and advise impressionable young ladies to leave their husbands at the slightest chance-the funny thing is that NOBODY is in a perfect marriage-NOBODY!
The fact that divorce worked for Mrs A does not mean it will work for Mrs B.
People should learn to work things out as husband and wife instead of coming on line to seek advise from a bunch of faceless individuals who are not by any means in a better marriage than the person seeking advise.
OP,a word is enough for the wise.
Get over your anger and go home and make peace with your husband.
If your story is true![/b]

Best advice given on the tread so far, sort out the issues in your marriage their is no perfect relationship.

@op, i sympathize with you, truly. Please, pray continually (1 thess 5:17 & Phil 4:6-7) for GOD's grace to forgive him and pray for him. You must try to work it out, in obedience to GOD, for the sake of your child (it adversely affects children i tell you who grow up with resentment), and also because of your vows

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Matt 19:6

I'd like to thank you all for your comments. Let me state categorically that I never considered divorce, never have and never will. Like my husband said, I posted what I did in the heat of anger, and I am ashamed to say I made false accusations. I have since settled the issue with my husband and the lady in question.

For those who advised us to work things out, I say thank you, and even though I know none of you personally, I can say you are true friends. To Jennykadry and others who feel this is a fabricated tale, my prayer is that you'll never find yourself in a position to tell your own story story or storyland. There is no excuse for insensitivity. When someone pastes this kind of story, you can be sure that person is hurting and needs advice, not your misplaced and dare I say, myopic skeptism.

I am glad my husband found me out(this post that is) cos it gave us an opportunity to thrash out this issue and deal with my doubts once and for all.

I came to this forum with my tale and in the process hurt my husband, so I am also going to use this forum to apologize to him. I AM SORRY I HURT YOU.

Finally, to those who advised we work things out in the bedroom, you guys have the right idea jare.

does your "husband's" user name begin with d and end with y?

as in dilly dally?

Okay O poster, thank you for the feedback! Glad to see that you and oga sorted things out. Enjoy marital bliss ehn!

@Idowuogbo: Goodness! you sure are a bitter person. Take a chill pill okay? I was wrong to bring this problem online, but I learnt a lot by doing just that. Let me also say that there are a lot of smart folk on this forum. Davidylan, richvkunt, chaircover and othenok, you guys helped. May you find all the happiness and joy you deserve this new year.

hurtlady:

I'd like to thank you all for your comments. Let me state categorically that I never considered divorce, never have and never will. Like my husband said, I posted what I did in the heat of anger, and I am ashamed to say I made false accusations. I have since settled the issue with my husband and the lady in question.

For those who advised us to work things out, I say thank you, and even though I know none of you personally, I can say you are true friends. To Jennykadry and others who feel this is a fabricated tale, my prayer is that you'll never find yourself in a position to tell your own story story or storyland. There is no excuse for insensitivity. When someone pastes this kind of story, you can be sure that person is hurting and needs advice, not your misplaced and dare I say, myopic skeptism.

I am glad my husband found me out(this post that is) cos it gave us an opportunity to thrash out this issue and deal with my doubts once and for all.

I came to this forum with my tale and in the process hurt my husband, so I am also going to use this forum to apologize to him. I AM SORRY I HURT YOU.

Finally, to those who advised we work things out in the bedroom, you guys have the right idea jare.

the institution of marriage has been defiled.
scares me shitless now to even marry anyone. . . . .the stories i hear these days are fuckin scary!

hurtlady:

@Idowuogbo: Goodness! you sure are a bitter person. Take a chill pill okay? I was wrong to bring this problem online, but I learnt a lot by doing just that. Let me also say that there are a lot of smart folk on this forum. Davidylan, richvkunt, chaircover and othenok, you guys helped. May you find all the happiness and joy you deserve this new year.

Emmmh excuse me how was I bitter ,I only asked you u a couple of questions going by ur post.It seems u guys are bck on track nice am happy for the little gal.

davidylan:

good guy. go and work on your marriage jare. Your wife and daughter need you.

and what is best for the child is to be punted from parent to parent every other weekend like a football? What is best for the child is to spend the rest of her growing years getting used to one uncle and aunty or the other sharing mommy and daddy's bedrooms? What is best for the child is to carry the cross for daddy and mommy's irresponsible behaviour?

This silly idea of single parenthood now gaining momentum is what will destroy the new generation.

What usually breaks up a happy home is not the initial problem, but the reaction to the problem, and the reaction to the reactions. The devil often preys on families by using our fears and insecurities to incite us to misbehave in the spirit of feeling a sense entitlement.

Kudos to the wife for not making any hasty decisions, or taking any low blows, and even more kudos to the husband for being understanding about his wife venting about their problem to random strangers.

All is well.

hmm, just seeing the "husband" post.


didnt a similar scenario play out last year and then the year before that.

@Richvkunt, Chaircover and all: Thanks.

Why can't people just post without mentioning my name, it always start and end with. . . "and to Jenny kadry and co"

I am just laughing in Chinese!
I remember that when we were kids, our parents use to teach us to "Be QUICK to LISTEN but be very very SLOW to RESPOND"! 

It sure ensures that you have time to THINK, ENGAGE YOUR BRAIN, BEFORE YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH INTO GEAR!

See the way most of you I.T.K (I don sabi everything) got reprimanded like an errant child?
As "diplomatic" as the Poster tried to be, l am sure the chastisement is not lost on you lot!
for example:

@Idowuogbo: Goodness! you sure are a bitter person. Take a chill pill okay? I was wrong to bring this problem online, but I learnt a lot by doing just that.

Some "Nutcase" did not even read all the posts, (and thus missed the husbands response) before posting some silly advice! Imagine, you want to advise someone on a "life-changing" situation and you are acting like a drunkard or someone high on some cheap pills!

No wonder some of these advisers clowns all began to crawl back like worms, to sing "l am happy for you", to the poster! Una get choice?

@hurtlady

I'd like to thank you all for your comments. Let me state categorically that I never considered divorce, never have and never will. Like my husband said, I posted what I did in the heat of anger, and I am ashamed to say I made false accusations. I have since settled the issue with my husband and the lady in question.

I hope these illegal advisers whom themselves need so much of advise, would learn a good lesson from the poster's response above! Shove your "single-parentship" down your bloody ar*se!
Each time we remind you never to jump into conclusions, if you've not heard the "full jist" between "husband and wife matter", you think it makes you smart to reel out some silly advise, right-away?

There is no excuse for insensitivity. When someone pastes this kind of story, you can be sure that person is hurting and needs advice, not your misplaced and dare I say, myopic skeptism.

Hear matter o! MYOPIC? narrow, folish and short-sighted!! That hurts sooo much! Ooouch!!

I came to this forum with my tale and in the process hurt my husband, so I am also going to use this forum to apologize to him. I AM SORRY I HURT YOU.

Finally, to those who advised we work things out in the bedroom, you guys have the right idea jare.

hurtlady, you have earned my own respects. WHY?
1.) You were discerning enough to realize very quickly that there are loads of 'broken vessels" here on NL who want as many women going through a rough time in their marriage (and who doesn't?) to swell their ranks!

"Maritally Finished" they are but they are not yet done until, like Lucifer, they want to pull as many women as possible, along!

2.) You were also humble enough to realize your mistake (ego and self pride is a marriage killer!) and you apologized openly to your husband! Tell me, how would this man not kiss your feet for life?
See, when the Bible says "Honor Your Husband", this is what you have just done and then tell me how "Mr.Accused" will not "Love Mrs Accused to bits", as commanded? him get choize?

Imagine if you had followed their stewpid advice, (they even mocked you when you said you wanted to stay for your child!) l guess they (advisers) will be in a position to come back and spew that "l am happy for you" rant?

LESSON: Before you go and do "money ritual" from a "magician", check his bank balance and Net-worth (and that is just putting it diplomatically) Someone wearing rags cannot dash you designer clothes, never!

Divorce is only a last option, not the first option. And nothing is wrong if one decides to "weather discomfort" for the sake of an innocent child, who knows, it may even be an opportunity to make up, when passions cool down.

Like l said on one thread "Dont close the door after yourself, as you leave, just in-case you need to come back"!

Lastpage

@Lastpage: Your post kind of made me laugh a little. But I'd also like to say that no one is perfect. We all learn everyday, and as far as I can tell, that is one of the major objectives of any forum.

I guess what I'm saying is, I made a mistake, I was guilty of coming to wrong conclusions in my haste and anger, and the folks you are talking about made mistakes too, but the most important thing at the end of the day is that we learn and go on to be stronger, and wiser people. Tests and trials make a marriage stronger, but that is only when the parties concerned are willing to work at it and not opt for divorce at the slightest provocation.

Finally, I hope that this little trial in my marriage has some lessons for all who read about it.

By the way, we are no longer hurtlady and accused man or mr. and mrs. accused.

Phew, finally some growing up is being done.

By the way, we are no longer hurtlady and accused man or mr. and mrs. accused. Grin

That was deliberate (thats why l put it in invited commas)!

I hereby pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. [size=14pt]"Lovebirds"[/size]

Like yousaid, we all learn from our mistakes.

Enjoy your marriage, may God give you and your husband the wisdom and mutual understanding, to grow more in love and caring for each other.

My regards to your little girl. Phew!, l was worried for her on page one!
I would hate my daughter to call another man "Daddy or Uncle"!

Lastpage.

Now, gerraa-way from hea and go make my guy feel loved.

^Watch-out for Part 2 of this your movie titled: 'The kabal Strikes Back'.

^Ever heard of Poetic Licence?

The Producers decided that the word Cabal could have a serious cataclysmic effect and settled for the word 'Kabal'. The movie industry is not the place to learn grammar but you can be sure of non-stop action with this sequel coming to a cinema near you soon. In fact, we are sending the original copy to Alaba as a mark of respect for their key role in the industry and more importantly for them not to make us bankrupt!

@mclatunji: Hmmmmm ,,,  ,,,  ,,,,  ,,,, 

"Kabal" abi? Shoe get Size!
I full ground, with Fingers crossed!

Lastpage!

As hard as I tried to listen to Bidemi, I couldn’t help but sneak peeks at my watch. I felt for my friend, but her situation was a no brainer. The thing is, she’d recently found out her husband had been having an affair. As expected, Bidemi was completely hurt and embarrassed to find out he’d been cheating on her for the past 3years. She knew they’d been having problems, but she didn’t think things were that bad!

You see, 4 years ago her husband had been transferred to Abuja. Their marriage survived the distance for almost a year before cracks began to appear. Everything had come to a head a few days ago when she’d received a call from a hospital in Lagos asking her to come there as her husband had just been admitted. She’d thought it was a mistake because her husband was in Abuja. However, when she’d tried to contact him with no luck, she decided to go to the hospital and was shocked to find it was indeed her husband who was on admission. She held off asking for explanations until he'd recovered.

2days ago she’d left the office early to attend her daughter’s ‘Parent Teacher’ day and decided to stop by the hospital on her way to the school, but was unable to reach her husband on the phone- he’d requested she call him before she made her way to the hospital. She’d thought that was strange- but then again he was strange like that. However, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when she walked into her husband’s hospital room - a slender light skinned girl bent over him, planting kisses all over his face. The girl quickly introduced herself to my friend as ‘the girlfriend’ who thought Bidemi was ‘the younger sister’ who had been taking care of him. Bidemi stood speechless as ‘The girlfriend’ proceeded to thank her for taking care of him, explaining that she’d been away on an extended all inclusive holiday which ‘he’ had paid for . This was how my friend found out her husband had been transferred back to Lagos 3 years ago and had been playing house with ‘the girlfriend’.

Me: Bidemi believe me, I know how you feel- but ..........


Read the rest of the story here http://ezer-meet..com/2012/06/physician-heal-thyself.html