Most women want their people around, even to live with them but frowns at every visit from their husband family.

Isn't it natural to feel more comfortable with people you've lived it for decades before meeting your husband? Don't husbands tend to behave the same way? And don't in-laws tend to favor their own son or daughter all the time.

seun,

lets look at it from your own point of view. if it is natural to feel more comfortable with people you have lived with as a woman, it is also natural for the man to feel more comfortable with his people. Then why would the woman scare her husbands people away from him and invite hers? Then why make her husband see less of his people and see more and even live with her own people?

So you can see that marriage authomatically brings the two families as one. There is no way you can seperate them without trouble. That is why courtship is important. It gives you an insight of the family(not only the man) you are about to accept and after marriage with time the woman should be able to see her in-laws just the way she sees her own family members. That is the beauty of marriage. A woman is not married to a man to cut him away from his family.

As a woman, don't you think you shouldn't be the one complaining about this? Or are you trying to intrude on the private life of a brother of yours, and upset that his wife wants you to focus on your own matrimonial home?

When I marry my wife, it will be a private home - just two of us. Even my parents would not be invited. 2 is company, 3 is a crowd! if it is hard for a husband and a wife alone to get along, why add the baggage of a meddlesome extended family? let them go and take care of their own spouses and children, and leave us alone!

In-laws can break a marriage. When your in-laws are against you there is a real problem in the marriage, I guess that is why wonmen are very uncomfortable.
One problem we also have in Nigeria is that the family of the man tends to think that the woman is finishing all the mans money leaving none for them. Then we have those in-laws who come with this "my brothers house" mentality.
Infact those from the village are even more deadly when it comes to scheming and plotting.
So a wise woman will be uncomfortable because she always has to be on the guard.

I think it depends. Some times my mom gets so exasperated she tells us she sees why some women are so cantankerous once an in-law sets foot in their home.

My mom is a very sweet person and always accepts all the people from my Dad's side that come for assistance. There was one of my cousins who came over and my Dad refused to sponsor her through school. My mom pleaded on her behalf and we're currently praying for her to leave.

She's suddenly turned on my mom and insults her, is disrespectful etc etc. I really hate that but my mom doesn't like we boys [we're very protective of her] fighting her battles. She only treats her with kindness, and tells us to show her courtesy. There's another guy who believes my mom "wastes" my Dad's money, preventing him from sending money to his people in the village. He's even ruder to my mom, trying to treat her as if she were my dad's chattel ["where's my food!" etc etc]. We almost ganged up and flattened him but he received a tongue-lashing from my Dad [trust him] just in time.

One thing my mom says is that she's ever treated anyone's child badly and always wishes them well so none of children will be treated badly. I've found that to be true. . . just food for thought

no idea,

cuz da only fxckin tin they cn do is cause trouble!!!!!

most especially when you have a wicked mother in law,ma dear,u re in for ti,infact u re in hell.cos you ll see WHIIIIN in dat marriage.i c no reason y they cn't leave the young wedded couples to enjoy their marriage bt rather wud love to interfer.especially when the guy involved is an only son or mummy's boy(dede nneyaa) then u have to be in for it,cos definitely the mum will always want to c her son&when she comes around,if she's the wicked&nagging type,she 'll love to find fault in one thing or the other.so its better they stay put where they re,im nt saying they can't visit,they can bt shld leave when it's due.

how did this one die?

i think it is best to kill every nigerian woman immediately the son marries so we hear word.

[i]So you can see that marriage authomatically brings the two families as one. There is no way you can seperate them without trouble. That is why courtship is important. It gives you an insight of the family(not only the man) you are about to accept and after marriage with time the woman should be able to see her in-laws just the way she sees her own family members. That is the beauty of marriage. A woman is not married to a man to cut him away from his family.

this answers the question

chiejik:

[i]So you can see that marriage authomatically brings the two families as one. There is no way you can seperate them without trouble. That is why courtship is important. It gives you an insight of the family(not only the man) you are about to accept and after marriage with time the woman should be able to see her in-laws just the way she sees her own family members. That is the beauty of marriage. A woman is not married to a man to cut him away from his family.

this answers the question

yes you are right