A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.

A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the
bathroom.

A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the
bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is
screaming.

"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush,
something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says,

"You idi.ot!= " "You're sitting on the mop bucket!


Pls leave a joke in honour of our drunken brawlers here in Nairaland, they keep the giggles coming after coming from the bar.

Nice one

JOKE GRADING: D


REMARKS: CAN DO BETTER WITH PROJAN


PUNISHMENT: 3 NIGHTS WITH SKALES

^^I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide with projan

^^^

I HAVE A FAT SALARY FOR YOU AT PROJAN, NO GAYY HARASSMENTS, NO OVER-WORK!!!

Five stages of drunkenness
-------------------------------

Stage 1 - SMART(e.g Killz)
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING(e.g Bunmioguns)
This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH(e.g Otooro)
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF(e.g Donk*****)
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE(Bin projan Pres.)
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

j.pilata:

Nice one

tnx bro

smh

Ur head dey there. . .join Projan to be a successful Joker

If you want to be happy for a short time -GET DRUNK
If you want to be happy for a long time -FALL IN LoVE
But if you want to be happy forever
















DON'T EVEN THINK of these two

Hmm. . .dis is really cool. U must be a projaner.

dont drink n drive but drive n drink,
ekeroyal abi?

~Killz~:
What's killz doing up there? I don't take alcohol, i only take red wine!

Ok buddy, I hope that the red wine is made of berries

Mrs. Bin is home making dinner, as usual, when Donko****** arrives at her door.

"Mrs Bin, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".

"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Don. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Mrs. Bin." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."

"Oh, God no!" cries Mrs. Bin "Please don't tell me."

"I must, Mrs. Bin. Your husband BinLaden is dead and gone. I'm sorry.

Finally, she looked up at Donko*****.

"How did it happen, Don?"

"It was terrible, Mrs. Bin. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Bin. Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Bin... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."

A drunk was headed home after a great time at the bar. As he hopped and limped, two kids intercepted him and said excuse us sir please we are not sure what it is up there a moon, sun or star. He was confused and suddenly he saw another man coming from the same direction as him and asked "excuse me brother, can you please check that out? (pointing to the sky) Is it a moon, star or sun?" His compatriot replies 'am also new in town'.

Sooo funny

^thank ya sweet heart