The Nuclear Family - Family - Nairaland
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Nuclear Vs Extended Family / Nuclear Family / Extended Family Or Nuclear Family, Which Do You Prefer? (2) (3) (4)
| The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 3:44pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
From most of the multiple responses I have observed on this forum, In this situation, I am referring to totally responsible and faithful fathers / mothers; husbands / wives. I noticed that when asked to choose between a spouse and the kid(s), most men will choose their wives while most women will choose their kids. Why is this so? |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by dare2think: 4:09pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
You can always make another baby if you choose the wife. You can always get another man if you choose the children. ^ Natural/maternal instincts. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by Nobody: 4:39pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
Please speak up women, we the men would like to understand you more. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by Fhemmmy: 4:42pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
dare2think: Na wa oh . . Man don suffer oh |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 4:48pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
my points exactly. Let's here what the females have to say. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by JeSoul(f): 5:02pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
@OP and the other fellas, I'm just curious as to under what circumstances will a wife/husband be asked to choose between one or the kids? |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 5:21pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
^^^ C'mon now . .weve seen several threads and nollywood movies created for the purpose. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by JeSoul(f): 5:46pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
^sorry I'm not really up to date  . Can you please give an example or two? Thanks. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 6:14pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
^^^ You asked for two but I'll give you three: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-363901.64.html Is The Love Of A Mother For Her Child Greater Than That Of A Wife 4 Her Husband? https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-54032.0.html Who Is More Important; Your Husband Or Children? https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-341982.0.html Satisfied? |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by JeSoul(f): 9:45pm On Feb 24, 2012 |
^lol. Yes. The question is tricky . . . my husband will always be first in my heart and therefore will always get the biggest meat in the pot. After you have kids, they're your responsibility and you have to make sacrifices to take care of them. However, taking proper care of your children does not automatically mean you relegate your spouse to a lesser position behind them. You're one with your spouse - not your children. So to answer your question - my husband takes priority by default, however in certain instances the welfare/wellbeing of the kids will have to considered first. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 4:41pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
^ However! my point exactly  |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by agiboma(f): 4:50pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
Its simple "there is nothing a woman loves more than what she bears" if you understand this concept then the question by the op is simple futhermore its the rule of nature: 1.) Women love children 2.) Men love women Thants just the way it goes, pure and simple |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 6:17pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
agiboma: Where did that phrase or saying come from . .is it a quote from you. . or someone else? So basically, men are merely tools for achieving this aim of child-bearing. Of course . .what was I thinking? Blame God? |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by Busybody2(f): 8:26pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
My spouse comes first, the children should get in line, and know their position, afterall 3 plus more is a crowd  |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by ronkebp(f): 9:08pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
My children come first, i don't know why, maybe because i am not the one that gave birth to my hubby!!!! , men will always find there way, but the kids  there way is always back to your heart and home. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 9:13pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
^^ Riiight on So . . why do you think . .with a responsible family man, the wife comes first? Maybe . . just maybe they dont love their kids enough? |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by ronkebp(f): 9:46pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
kokoye: I will be deceiving myself if i think i am number 1 on my hubby's list as opposed to our children, i don't want to be no 1, i want my kids to come first and that is just me, i know he loves me, that is the assurance i need, daily, that is. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 4:23pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
^^ I can accept that. God bless. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by Nobody: 5:00pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
My husband comes first oh, maybe because I have a great one. SOme women have no so nice husbands who spend all der time away from home so sometimes those women tend to focus on the kids more especially the boys and turn them into mini husbands. My Husband and I have a special bond, my son is an addition to the family, but come what may its me and my husband, na 2 of us dey sweat to make ends meet, its me and him who comfort each other and strenthen each other, its him I have to cry too when i have a very bad day, its him i have to talk with when i face tough times, even when my talk no get head he listens or at least pretends to listen, its him i share my heart body and soul with. Its him who protects and defends me. He was the one who made me feel beautiful when i believed i was worthless. The love i have for my child is strong too and different, I hope one day he will find a wonderful woman to share the kind of love his parents share |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 5:53pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
^^^ That's the spirit . . your son is going aways to start his own family later on in his lifetime. then you'll be all alone with your husband . . old and teeth all gone . .just the two of you  |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by Nobody: 8:12pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
I think most women choose their kids because their husbands are not worth it. Would choose my husband in a heartbeat unless he turns out terribly of which I wont even bother choosing anyone. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 9:12pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
^^^ Please read the original post again. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by ronkebp(f): 9:27pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
^^^^ MY dear, my own husband worths it more than one billion times, i have a man that every woman would want to have, and that is not an exagyeration, I just love my son, it might be different maybe when he grows up, but my little soldier is my Prince, but just so we are clear, no one takes my hubby's place, everyone of them have their own place in my heart.  |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 9:34pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
^^^ I hope your response is for stillwater's comment . .since she seems to think mothers choose their kids due to irresponsible fathers |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by Nobody: 11:00pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
@ronke I said most, doesn't mean all. @kokoye I don't believe most women would choose their kids over a responsible husband. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by MissIfe(f): 11:10pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
@ronke : I totally recognize myself in what you said. It is difficult to explain, I love my husband deeply and he's a very good husband. However ( ) The love I have for my child is so different. My whole world was changed forever when I met her, and I would give my own life without even thinking about it for her. I know she will go and build her own family someday and I pray that she might experience this same deep, strong love for her own children. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by Nobody: 11:20pm On Feb 28, 2012 |
@Miss_Ife, are we then right to infer that you couldn't give your life for your spouse, and if so why? |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by rosefleurs: 3:07am On Feb 29, 2012 |
Any right thinking SANE parent knows that children come first. Biology supports it. You brought them into the world, hence you are responsible for them, more so than the person with whom you mated. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by cfours: 3:16am On Feb 29, 2012 |
@topic, i'm not married yet but I know I will love my children more. love for a child is pure, selfish and unconditional. I think fathers should be able to love their children that way as well. whereas loving a husband is very conditional. many women on this thread have proved it by saying they will pick their husband because he is "good to them" what in the world!! is it that rare for you to find a husband or person who is good to you? some posts are just straight cheesy: "someone who made me feel beautiful when I believe I was worthless" etc. what can I say. lol for me, I know I will love my child whether he/she is good or bad, ugly or beautiful, lazy or hardworking, dumb or intelligent, mean or nice etc. but I know I will never love a husband like that. so I doubt I will ever leave or drop my children for my husband. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by MissIfe(f): 8:08am On Feb 29, 2012 |
fresh_dude: I guess i would [i]think [/i]about it before doing it, It sounds weird, but this is the way I feel, I can't really explain it myself. though c;four has raised a very good point. I love my husband deeply, but if things were to turn sour between us, I don't know how long this love would last bur has for my children, my love is unconditional, whatever they do, whatever they look like, this love is even stronger than me |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by Nobody: 10:49am On Feb 29, 2012 |
c.fours:Well my dear, this is my second marriage. I was in an abusive marriage. I left feeling worthless, and I had been told and was prepared to spend a single "life of misery" and probably die alone, cos i was told in Nigeria no one will want a divorcee, so forgive me for being chessy. And forgive me for appreciating how great I have it after almost being killed by a man who was supposed to love me. I love my so but love my husband more unapololigetically. |
| Re: The Nuclear Family by kokoye(m): 3:45pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
^^^ @ debrief08, I get where you are coming from . . totally. As for the person who is not yet married and thinks he or she knows what marital life is all about, you never know UNTIL you are in it. The taste of the pudding is in the eating . .right? So . . please dont judge anyone's thought process or 'comments' because you will NEVER be in their shoes. Also, the child you unconditionally love would not have been around without that father. That child will leave you and start a life with someone else . .and the original question will arise again. Again, this is not about who you should love more. Feel free to read my first lines again. Think about it. |
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