LMAO.....nice 1

MUST READDDDD OOOO!!!
An old woman boarded a bus
to lagos frm calabar told d
driver; "driver,if u reach Benin
tell me o!D driver nodded n
then she shouted again"my
children,una hear wetin I tell am?
Everybody responded
YES MA.On d long journey to
lagos,everybody slept off but
dis woman neva blinkd.Dey
neva knew she doesn't know
Benin. Afta several hours of driving and
lagos closeby wit
Benin about 4hrs bhind,d poor
woman then asked;driver,u
neva reach benin ni? Ooooh!!D
driver exclaimed;madam Benin
is like 4hrs behind us.D woman started
crying"take me back 2
Benin abeg I no wan wahala
o!!!After all said,and considerg
d age of d woman it was
agreed dat d driver shld turn
back 2 Benin.On getting 2 Benin,d driver
came
down,opened d door n told d
woman she is in Benin.D
woman simply opened her
hand bag,brought out a sachet
of panadol,removd 2 tablets n swallowd
dem wit water.She
then smiled and said,na my
daughter say if I reach Benin
make I take 2 tablets of
panadol,Oya!Make we dey go
Lagos.

Nigerian policeman
arrested a man
urinating at a placeclearly marked"Do
not
urinate here, fine N500.
The offender gives the
policeman a N1000 note,
The policeman turns
around, fumbles a bit
and says to the man,
'Oga now, urinate again,
I don't have change...'

If U can answer these questions
Then u smarter than google
1. Swimming is a good exercise 2
stay fit, while are whales Fat??
2.Shall I say there is racial
discrimination in the game of chess
as the white piece is moved first
3.if we have freedom of speech why
do we have telephone bills
4.if money doesn't grow on tree,
why do banks have branches?
5.Y doesn't glue stick to it's
container??
6.if u aren't suppose to drink n drive
why do bar have parking lots??
7.if abbreviation is to make words
short, why is abbreviation such a
long word?
8.If attendance at an event is strictly
by invitation why publicize it on TV?
9.If towels are meant to dry our
clean bodies after bathing, why
wash towels? Where do their dirt
come from?
10. FINISHED!!!

A girl was chatting online wit a stranger. Stranger- hey pretty could u give me your mail. Girl- oh yes sure its, ihaveaboyfriend_andilovehimalot@getlost.com.
Stranger-and mine is, iamyourfather_andyouaredead@meetmeathome.com.

Porsey: A girl was chatting online wit a stranger. Stranger- hey pretty could u give me your mail. Girl- oh yes sure its, ihaveaboyfriend_andilovehimalot@getlost.com.
Stranger-and mine is, iamyourfather_andyouaredead@meetmeathome.com.

wow, 9ice one there..
Olorun i swear dis forum is xo xo lively now..
LWKMD

@dotmond, all tanks to u, cos u brought up the suggestion. My mind still on the merit list sha, the lord shall favor us all, Insha Allahu we shall all be admitted this year

The bride tells her husband,
"Honey, you know I'm a virgin
and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you
explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply,
we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing
'the prisoner'.
So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the
first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face
up on the bed, smiling with
satisfaction. Nudging him, his
bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner
seems to have escaped." Turning
on his side, he smiles. "Then we
will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent,
the guy reaches for his cigarettes
but the girl, thoroughly enjoying
the new experience of making
love, gives him a suggestive smile,
"Honey, the prisoner is out
again!" The man rises to the
occasion, but with the unsteady
legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the
bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says,
"Honey, the prisoner escaped
again." Limply turning his head,
He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a
life sentence, OKAY!

shakur4luv: The bride tells her husband,
"Honey, you know I'm a virgin
and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you
explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply,
we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing
'the prisoner'.
So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the
first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face
up on the bed, smiling with
satisfaction. Nudging him, his
bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner
seems to have escaped." Turning
on his side, he smiles. "Then we
will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent,
the guy reaches for his cigarettes
but the girl, thoroughly enjoying
the new experience of making
love, gives him a suggestive smile,
"Honey, the prisoner is out
again!" The man rises to the
occasion, but with the unsteady
legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the
bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says,
"Honey, the prisoner escaped
again." Limply turning his head,
He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a
life sentence, OKAY!

hmm nice one, but abeg no spoil fast for person for here.

Porsey: @dotmond, all tanks to u, cos u brought up the suggestion. My mind still on the merit list sha, the lord shall favor us all, Insha Allahu we shall all be admitted this year

AMEN! AMEN!! AMEN!!!

@DOTMOND u don make dis trend a 9ice nd comdey trend. Dubble tuale 4 u o, u 2much. Keep it up. IT IS WEL. (List on my mind)

Estar baby: @DOTMOND u don make dis trend a 9ice nd comdey trend. Dubble tuale 4 u o, u 2much. Keep it up. IT IS WEL. (List on my mind)

Tanks everybody dat encouraged me.
Its not me its d LORDS DOING..
I hope and i believe am gonna meet u guys on campus someday.
LOVE U ALL.
Lets kip d thread going and lively..
MORE JOKES plsssss
U guys are so so

Pls cn sm1 ans dis 4 me? In a country of blind, deaf/dumb nd including leper citizens, a deaf/dumb man caught a blind man's wife in an adultery act, pls tel me hw is d deaf/dumb man going 2 tel d blind man wat he saw.

...ALL NA WASH...
1. I av neva tasted Amala b4.
2. I hate drinking GARRI.
3. My DAD has HUMMER20 model in HIS compound.
4. We av 3 swimming pools in our house b4, not until armed robbers came to steal 2 away.
5. My daddy & OBAMA were classmates wen in Primary school.
6. Since i was born, i av neva lied.
7. Since i was born, i av neva kissed a guy.
8. I dont know wat wrong wif DAVIDO/WIZKID, they just love disturbing my peace by calling me.
9. Rihanna love pinging me alot.
10. I av neva payed 4 credit in ma life , but i call all d time.

Lets kip it rolling by adding ya own..

Estar baby: Pls cn sm1 ans dis 4 me? In a country of blind, deaf/dumb nd including leper citizens, a deaf/dumb man caught a blind man's wife in an adultery act, pls tel me hw is d deaf/dumb man going 2 tel d blind man wat he saw.

na u go answer dat one by yaself oooo.
Abi u wan kill person 4 here nii??

Dotmond1:
na u go answer dat one by yaself oooo.
Abi u wan kill person 4 here nii??

jst a joke noni. But hw is he going 2 tel d oda man. Hmmmm,IT IS WEL

Dotmond1: ...ALL NA WASH...
1. I av neva tasted Amala b4.
2. I hate drinking GARRI.
3. My DAD has HUMMER20 model in HIS compound.
4. We av 3 swimming pools in our house b4, not until armed robbers came to steal 2 away.
5. My daddy & OBAMA were classmates wen in Primary school.
6. Since i was born, i av neva lied.
7. Since i was born, i av neva kissed a guy.
8. I dont know wat wrong wif DAVIDO/WIZKID, they just love disturbing my peace by calling me.
9. Rihanna love pinging me alot.
10. I av neva payed 4 credit in ma life , but i call all d time.

Lets kip it rolling by adding ya own..

hmmm 1. Waiter i wud prefer hot salad. 2. My best friend na Dangote. 3. I lyk drinking hot ice cream. 4. I travel 2 dubai everyday as if i am going to my backyard. 5. Banky W got a crush on me. NA WASH

Porsey: hmmm 1. Waiter i wud prefer hot salad. 2. My best friend na Dangote. 3. I lyk drinking hot ice cream. 4. I travel 2 dubai everyday as if i am going to my backyard. 5. Banky W got a crush on me. NA WASH

1.My father na ADENUGA 2. My mother na NGOZI OKONJO IWELA 3. My broda na DAVID MARK 4. We al live in ASOKORO(Aso villa) al NA WASH jor

Estar baby: 1.My father na ADENUGA 2. My mother na NGOZI OKONJO IWELA 3. My broda na DAVID MARK 4. We al live in ASOKORO(Aso villa) al NA WASH jor

1. Since i was born, i av neva climb BIKE.
2. My aunt is PAtience Jonathan private teacher.
3. My father is the V.C of OXFORD UNIVERSITY.

FOR ALL THE JAMBITES THAT WROTE THIS 2012/2013 POST JAMB THAT DID NOT MEET UP WITH THE CUT OFF MARK.THE CHANGE OF COURSE FORM IS OUT IN THE SCHOOL ADMISSION OFFICE AND ITS FREE.THIS IS THE LAST CHANCE U HAVE B4 IT WILL CLOSE.IF U SCORE LOW U CAN CHANGE TO A COURSE THAT HAS A LOWER CUT OFF MARK.CALL 4 ASSISTANCE KAYSTAR 08097306603.

Estar baby: 1.My father na ADENUGA 2. My mother na NGOZI OKONJO IWELA 3. My broda na DAVID MARK 4. We al live in ASOKORO(Aso villa) al NA WASH jor

Hmm nice one dere, i dey feel u jare.

1. I change my shirt everyday nd neva put dem on again - NA WASH. 2. Na me produce the fimile beat for kaz - NA WASH. 3. Back in d days Wizkid was my boi - NA WASH. 4. My father be d presido of WORLD BANK - EVERYTIN NA WASH.

Atention please!!!
Pls o dont say an disturbing d peace over here am an aspirant 2 o. Pls 4 God sake dont get me wrong coz.. K
av been readin frm dis trend 4 d last 3days n all i cld read is JoKEs ! Well its cool but lets limit it cos since 3day ago i avnt got any gud info wich i fink is not alwayz lik dis
jokes r ment 2 reform our soul pls let giv room 4 vital information.
Dont get me wrong!!!

Na Only 9ja i know say we dey use Electricity by priviledge not by right.
Ask me why? A naija person go use like only 2hrs and go dey blame nepa say this light 2much for now, and go say; Nepa i beg make una take the light so that we go fit use am for night.
Generator don bend some people waist for my area ehn, u no go believe am.people for my area dey buy opa eyin as if dey wan use am for woman where'as na generator dey wan use am for.,
naija no kil us o, proud to be 9ja.

You Took your Babe on a Date and the Waiter
was
Like; "Aunty How Far? Chief nko?... Shey Na
your
New Maga be this??
What will you do??

Donkorrey: Atention please!!!
Pls o dont say an disturbing d peace over here am an aspirant 2 o. Pls 4 God sake dont get me wrong coz.. K
av been readin frm dis trend 4 d last 3days n all i cld read is JoKEs ! Well its cool but lets limit it cos since 3day ago i avnt got any gud info wich i fink is not alwayz lik dis
jokes r ment 2 reform our soul pls let giv room 4 vital information.
Dont get me wrong!!!

Donkorrey i get what u are saying and i saw ur comment on OOU admission page nd i also know dat u didn't meet the cut off mark, but that does not mean that u av to loose hope nd who talk say u no fit gain admission 4 there coz from ur comment i can see u are already loosing hope. U didn't meet the cut off mark does not mean u can't gain admission, ur name could still cum out in the supplementary list, just av faith in the lord. And as for we on this trend we are just tying to be lively nd even me am not 100% sure of my admission, i just put my trust in God and also we on this trend are just aspirant lyk u, we hardly av information, we are all just puting our faith in the lord. Insha Allahu we all shall be admitted this year, that 4 sure. So Donkorrey my bro don't worry, there is nothing impossible in front of the Almighty, STAY BLESSED.

Porsey: Donkorrey i get what u are saying and i saw ur comment on OOU admission page nd i also know dat u didn't meet the cut off mark, but that does not mean that u av to loose hope nd who talk say u no fit gain admission 4 there coz from ur comment i can see u are already loosing hope. U didn't meet the cut off mark does not mean u can't gain admission, ur name could still cum out in the supplementary list, just av faith in the lord. And as for we on this trend we are just tying to be lively nd even me am not 100% sure of my admission, i just put my trust in God and also we on this trend are just aspirant lyk u, we hardly av information, we are all just puting our faith in the lord. Insha Allahu we all shall be admitted this year, that 4 sure. So Donkorrey my bro don't worry, there is nothing impossible in front of the Almighty, STAY BLESSED.

porsey, tanx jawee. Dats wat i wanna say 2 him also...
Tanx 4 replying...

If oyinbo woman wan born pikin,her husband go dey pet her as if na both of dem wan born am. If d woman tok anytin d husband go do am,but cm 9ja, doctor go 1st pursue dem,nd if d woman go tok u go hear WOMAN: honey hmmm MAN: u don start oo WOMAN: honey hold me hmm my waist MAN: na so ur own dey b o,wen iya biliki wan born her own she neva comot 4 parlour b4 she born oo WOMAN: honey hold my hand MAN: shuu,na ur hand d pikin wan 4rm come out ni? I beg born wetin u go born make i dey go house jor!!!

Estar baby: If oyinbo woman wan born pikin,her husband go dey pet her as if na both of dem wan born am. If d woman tok anytin d husband go do am,but cm 9ja, doctor go 1st pursue dem,nd if d woman go tok u go hear WOMAN: honey hmmm MAN: u don start oo WOMAN: honey hold me hmm my waist MAN: na so ur own dey b o,wen iya biliki wan born her own she neva comot 4 parlour b4 she born oo WOMAN: honey hold my hand MAN: shuu,na ur hand d pikin wan 4rm come out ni? I beg born wetin u go born make i dey go house jor!!!

9ice one there... Ur head dey there ooooo..
CHANGE OF COURSE FORM IS OUT OOOOOOOOO

latidinho:
You Took your Babe on a Date and the Waiter
was
Like; "Aunty How Far? Chief nko?... Shey Na
your
New Maga be this??
What will you do??

say wetin? Shey d waiter wan spoil show nii?
Abeg leave d poor gal jawee

Is it out yet?

No