A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What's the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's dead drunk and broke.

Bear and two Men
Two men were hunting in the woods, and they came across a bear. The bear starts chasing them and they are running as fast as they can. They looked back and the bear was gaining on them. The two hunters are running neck and neck and one says to the other, "I don't think we are going to be able to outrun this bear". The other hunter says "I am not worried about the bear, I only have to outrun you


Dog
A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for 100 naira."
The neighbour said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking-dog stuff? There is no such animal."
Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is very wicked to me. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in Nigeria. I performed before kings and governors. I was in the army and was decorated twenty times."
"Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just 100 naira?"
"Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies.

??

Remix
For the record Nigerian girls are pretty period

;d ;d ;d

funnie pix am going to get my own helmet