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Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:01am On May 21, 2012 |
A certain man always goes to eat Rice and stew in a restaurant, so one day when he went to eat @ d restaurant dey said " Stew neva don yet" the man said no probs just bring the ordinary rice for me, so he ate d ordinary rice, immediately he finished eating they said d stew z done, the man said "bring the stew wey una suppose put 4 ma rice" so they gave him d stew, this guy just drank d stew, b4 I know ehn dis guy start tumbling and scattering d whole place, he use his body 2 hit d ground several times, we managed to hol him down and ask him what wrong. The guy said " I dey mix d rice and stew wey dey inside my belle" 3 Likes |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:02am On May 21, 2012 |
TV & MOBILE A Wife is like a TV A Girlfriend is like a MOBILE At home u watch TV, but whenu go out u take ur MOBILE Sometimes u enjoy TV, but most of the time u play with urMOBILE TV is free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated TV is big, bulky and most of the time old! But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable U can have only one TV and becomfortable but mobile can be packed like 4 at a time in one pocket and they will still be comfortable We only change our TV only if spoilt(dead) but we like a newer and a finer mobile unless we don't see or hear about them Operational costs for TV is often acceptable, but for the MOBILE it is often high and demanding. TV has a remote, MOBILE doesn't Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen), but with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to ornot) Last but not least! TVs don't have viruses, but Mobiles' often do so let's love our TVs and forget about the mobiles.... Tell every man close to u. 1 Like |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:05am On May 21, 2012 |
Employer to applicant: In this job we need sum1 who is responsible... Applicant: I'm the one you want ... on my last job,every time sumtin went wrong,they said i was responsible. 1 Like |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:12am On May 21, 2012 |
man filling form at airport Airport hostess: Name ? Passenger: Abdul al-Rhazib. Airport hostess: Sex ? Passenger: Three to five times a week. Airport hostess: No, no...I mean male or female ? Passenger: Male, female, sometimes camel. Airport hostess: Holy cow ! Passenger: Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general. Airport hostess: But isn't that hostile ? Passenger: Horse style, doggy style, any style ! Airport hostess: Oh dear ! Passenger: No, no! Deer run too fast ... |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:15am On May 21, 2012 |
A woman has an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home. She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already. The little Boy says: 'Dark in here.' The Man says: 'Yes, it is.' Boy: 'I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?' Man: 'No, thanks.' Boy: 'My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!' Man: 'OK, how much?' Boy: '$150' A few weeks later it happenedagain and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again. Boy: 'Dark in here'. Man: 'Yes, it is.' Boy: 'I have soccer boots.' The Man, remembering the lasttime, asks the boy: 'How much?' The Boy says:'$350' The Man says: 'Fine, I will buy them.' A few days later, the Father says to the boy: 'Grab your balland boots, let's go outside andhave a game.' The Boy says: 'I can't, I sold them for $500.' The Father says: 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that... $500 is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your sins.' They went to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The Boy says: 'Dark in here.' The Priest says: 'Don't start that sh۱۲ again!' 1 Like |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:19am On May 21, 2012 |
A boy nd his uncle were discussing abt wat d boy would love 2 be in future.. Uncle: wat do you want 2 be in future Boy: doctor nd i knw with ur help as a lecturer in uni-ilorin, I wuld b able 2 realize my dream Uncle: how was ur waec result Boy: i had 2 credits Yoruba nd Agric Uncle: you can still be a doctor but a native doctor,just use ur knowledge in agric 2 look for HERBS nd ur knowledge in Yoruba for INCANTATIONS. 1 Like |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:26am On May 21, 2012 |
If You Can Answer These Questions, You Are Smarter Than Google! 1. If swimming is a good exercise to stay fit, why are whales fat? 2. Shall I say that there is racial discrimination even in game of chess as the white piece is moved first? 3. We have freedom of speech, then why do we have telephone bills? 4. If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches? 5. Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle? 6. If you aren’t supposed to drink and drive why do bars have packing lots? 7. If to abbreviate is to make a word short, why is abbreviation such a long word? 8. If attendance at an event is strictly by invitation, why publicize it on TV? 9. If towels are meant to dry our clean bodies after bathing, why wash towels? Where do they get the dirts from? |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:30am On May 21, 2012 |
Three tortoise Mick, Andy and Roy, decided togo on a picnic. Mick packed the picnic basket with drinks and sandwiches. The trouble was that the picnic sitewas ten miles away; so it took them ten days to get there. When they got there Mick unpacked the food and drinks. "Ok Roy give me the bottle opener" "I didn't bring it" saysRoy "I thought you packed it" Mick gets worried,He turns to Andy, " did you bring the bottle opener?" No, Andy didn't bring it too. So they're stuck ten miles away from home without a bottle opener. Mick and Andy begged Roy to go back for it. But he refused as he said they will eat all the sandwiches b4 he comes back. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that theywill not eat the sandwiches, Roy finally agreed to go and get d bottle opener. So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace, 20 days passed and he wasn't back and Mick and Andy were starving, but they have to keep their promise. Another 5 days and he still wasn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally, 30days went by and they couldn't take it any longer so they took out a sandwich each, and just as they were about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts: "I KNEW IT'......I'M NOT GOING! |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:34am On May 21, 2012 |
What is Stress. You gave a beautiful girl a lift, she faints inside your car and you take her to the hospital - Now that's stressful. At the hospital, they say she's pregnant and congratulate you that you are going to be a father. You said that you are not the father but the girl says you are - This is getting very stressful. You requested for a DNA Test (which sets your account back by N50K) to prove that you are not the father. After the test, the doctor says that you are infertile - You are extremely stressed but relieved. On your way home, you started remembering that you left 3 kids at home - Who the hell is their father?? -- Now that's STRESS !!!! 3 Likes |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:39am On May 21, 2012 |
I know 9 things about you right now. 1. You are reading this. 2. You are human. 3. You can't say the letter "P" without separating your lips... 4. You just attempted to do it... 6. You are laughing at yourself. See ur teeth 7. You have a smile on your face, and u skipped No.5 8. You just checked to see if there is a No.5 9. You are still smiling |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:49am On May 21, 2012 |
Mathematical Prove dat girls are Evil FIRST OF ALL... Given than As we all know, GIRLS require TIME and MONEY Therefore we can state that GIRLS = TIME X MONEY Remember that Time is Money i.e TIME = MONEY Then, we State next that: GIRLS = MONEY X MONEY As we all know, MONEY is the root of EVIL i.e MONEY = √EVIL Now we can say, GIRLS = √EVIL X √EVIL Then, GIRLS = EVIL 1 Like |
Re: Hilarious by Exponental(m): 7:51am On May 21, 2012 |
@op, they are lovely....keep it up! |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:55am On May 21, 2012 |
NEMESIS is wen u submit ur answer sheet wit ur expo inside... RACISM is wen a white iphone costs more than a black one... LONG THROAT is wen u take a gal out on a sunny day & she orders 4 a hot plate of pepper soup... SELFISH is dat gal dat eats nkwobi,fish pepper soup,shawama,suya,kilishi,chicken & smirnoff, &wen u take her home she says"sorry i'm on my period"... OVERSABI is wen u're eating salad wit a gal & she says"honey,dis food no done"... OLODO is wen u're in a plane wit a gal & she says "i'm hot,can u pls roll down d glass"... FIRST CLASS LONG THROAT is dat kid dat sees u eating & says "my mummy said i shldnt take foodfrm strangers"... |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 7:55am On May 21, 2012 |
Exponental: @op, they are lovely....keep it up!thankx |
Re: Hilarious by purpinkx(m): 8:04am On May 21, 2012 |
Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and thendelivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me. |
Re: Hilarious by JojoArmani(m): 2:55pm On May 21, 2012 |
wonderful jokes, u see wat u cursed, u made me dirty my cloth while i was laughing and was rolling on de floor. Pls next time put some instructions. Me like de jokes |
Re: Hilarious by Nobody: 3:10pm On May 21, 2012 |
lolmaolwkmd4hooooooo |
Re: Hilarious by Nobody: 7:10pm On May 21, 2012 |
Purpinkx you're d best! *Lmao* |
Re: Hilarious by Topewealth: 7:12pm On May 22, 2012 |
Nice! nice! Nice jokes! All d jokes are lovely! Infact a plate of nkobi 4 u to nite! |
Re: Hilarious by DJNANCY: 11:00pm On May 22, 2012 |
purpinkx: I know 9 things about you right now.The tittle of this should have been "don't eat while u read this" because food came out of M̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅ nose while I read this. |
Re: Hilarious by jonardholt(m): 11:14am On May 23, 2012 |
u re gud pls we need more of it. But mind u am takin u 2 nkwobi joint to nite ok... |
Re: Hilarious by checkfidel: 11:28am On May 23, 2012 |
Guy you've spoilt my day. Infact, you have rendered the next few hours unproductive. I cannot control myself any longer. I just can't stop laughing again. Keep it up. |
Re: Hilarious by mikron(m): 3:27pm On May 23, 2012 |
purpinkx: TV & MOBILEnice one. Very educative |
Re: Hilarious by mikron(m): 3:42pm On May 23, 2012 |
Tope wealth: Nice! nice! Nice jokes! All d jokes are lovely! Infact a plate of nkobi 4 u to nite!Nkwobi my brother 1 Like |
Re: Hilarious by mikron(m): 3:45pm On May 23, 2012 |
nice jokes @ OP. Expecially the 3 tortoise. |
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