What if people bought cars like they buy
Computers?

The car companies don't have help lines
for people who don't know how to drive,
because people don't buy cars like they
buy computers, imagine if they did,

Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help
you?

Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and
nothing happened!

Helpline: Did you put the key in the ignition slot
and turn it?

Customer: What's an ignition?

Helpline: It's a starter motor that draws current
from your battery and turns over the engine.

Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How
come I have to know all these technical terms to
use my car.

Helpline: Toyota Helpline, how can I help you?

Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it
won't go anywhere!

Helpline: Is the gas tank empty?

Customer: Huh?  How do I know?"

Helpline: There's a little gauge on the front
panel with a needle and markings of 'E' and 'F'.
Where is the needle pointing?

Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that
mean?

Helpline: It means you have to visit a gasoline
vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can
install it yourself or pay the vendor to install
it for you.

Customer: What? I paid $18,000 for this car!
And your telling me I to keep buying more
components? This is outrageous! I want a car that
comes with everything built in!

Helpline: Ford Helpline, how can I help you?

Customer: Your cars suck!

Helpline: What's wrong?"

Customer: It crashed, that's what's wrong!

Helpline: What were you doing?

Customer: Well I wanted to go faster, so I pushed
the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor, It
worked for a while and then it when off the road
at a corner and crashed and it won't start now!

Helpline: It's your responsibility if you misuse
the product. What do you expect us to do about it?

Customer: I expect you to send me one of the
latest versions that doesn't crash!

Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you?

Customer: Hi, I just bought my first car, and I
chose your car because it has automatic
transmission, cruise control, power steering,
power brakes, power door locks, power seats,
power, "

Helpline:  Well,, thanks for buying one of our
top of line cars. So how can I help you?

Customer: Well, how do I work it?

Helpline: Do you know how to drive?

Customer: Do I know how to what?

Helpline: Do you know how to drive?

Customer: Look, I'm not a mechanic. I'm not even
very technical.  I just want to go places in my
new car!

Lol

Thank God Ooo

Very funny.

f=fonny
l-=laff
s=smile
fo=fuc*k off

f+s-l=?

if u know it answer

and if u dont FO

clap for urself poster

Nice one.

Yo guys wats the situation like in nigeria?

Huph! Here's anoda

tj_tj:

Yo guys wats the situation like in nigeria?

bros nothing bad and good dey happen here oh,

we just dey still dey expect the returns from the money wey u collect from our papa say u dey go canada

it's been long oh,

for your information, papa recently made up his mind to accept the 1 soul for unlimited wealth offer from okija shrine,

you seem to be the only one on his mind,

remedy:

send down some money to me, make i use buy am small shepe to get am high.

he'll send your name thru nipost to okija only wen he's high, else, txt message na only N5.

hurry while offer lasts,

@tj
i'll make u a beta offer. Just send the totall sum of #2.5Mn down here to purchase so tools nd i'll silence d old man 4 gud.

kronkyplay, u trying to rip me off? tell ur old man he is getting at least a dime

tee-jay is it canada or caduna

so tell me if really ure in canada did it snow yersterday dats 2111/07

just curious

asshole, u doubting me. There waz no snow where i lived yesterday 11/22/07 but right now its snowing 11.23.07, punk

Who da fck re u calln a punk u omo baba luk-alike alien. Learn to respect women.
@clem
pls dont reply him honnie.

Oh she is a gal, hey am sorry migines piss off, u trying to take her away?

Hi brova. I tot as much(u dint knw she waz a LADY) but i'm not 3ry to take her away, we are cyberly marid. Luk around u'll c.

Oh yeah, who waz present?

Internet!

LOL, u guys eloped on the net?

@ tj_tj, it did in fact snow yesterday in Ottawa and it's like a mini snow storm today. I know cuz my very good friend told me and I'm chatting with him right now. You must real stupid to insult a woman and YES I don't believe you're in Canada. What are you gon do about that?

Yo i live toronto, malvern to be precise, i never insult ladies cos their cute

Well you just did. . . and for no damn reason. That's sad.

never knew she waz a lady

Even if it was a guy the insult was uncalled for.