|Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New|
Stats: 1216951 members, 1597355 topics. Date: Monday, 10 March 2014 at 09:57 PM
|Now Tell Me: (1) My dear builder (2) by Monicamony(f): 6:54pm On Nov 21, 2007|
It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a couple are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a loose-fitting, spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes mad. He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand, he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny, and suggests that his wife teases the poor creature some more. He gets her to pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at the ape, and play along. She does, and the Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. S he does, and the Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.
"Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him," he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and he starts doing flips. With that, the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.
"Now, tell HIM you have a headache."
A builder wanted to quit his job for good and his boss called him aside and gave him a plan and some huge money. Boss: "Build this last house for me. Don't manage the money you are going to spend. "
Three months later he came back to his boss and took him to the new house with the house keys in his hand.
Builder: It wasn't easy i used the lastest building materials, i have to spend more than you gave me just to give you this mansion. I gave it my best, it was tough for me, but i wanted to impress you sir.
Boss: That is very good of you.
Builder: Thanks sir." He bowed.
Boss: Since it is the last house you are going to build for me, i have decided to , surprise you with this parting gift.
You can hold on to the keys to the house it was meant to be my parting gift anyway, I hope you live and prosper here.'
Builder: What? Are you serious sir?
'Builder: Why didn't you say so before i started building? This house will collapse any moment from now.
A man went to see his future father-in-law for the first time. He sat down and the future father-in-law told him.
Future-father-in-law: I would have given my daughter to you for free but, you see i sent her to the most expensive school, fed her, clothed her, paid for her projects and series of handouts, leg-outs, bribed her new employer and previous ones. Paid for her six abortions. Paid for her medical bills.
Future-son-in-law: I am ready to pay for the bride price, just name your price.
Future-father-in-law: Well, you can have her for free then, but pay 1 million naira cash please check can bounce.
|Re: Now Tell Me: (1) My dear builder (2) by Nobody: 7:04pm On Nov 21, 2007|
ah poster very funny
but the husband is wicked ooo
|Re: Now Tell Me: (1) My dear builder (2) by saucekid(m): 7:12pm On Nov 21, 2007|
maybe the wife dey complain of headache anytime dem dey bla bla bla
|Re: Now Tell Me: (1) My dear builder (2) by Migines(m): 11:57pm On Nov 21, 2007|
Ha ha ha
|Re: Now Tell Me: (1) My dear builder (2) by Migines(m): 11:58pm On Nov 21, 2007|
Ha ha ha
|Re: Now Tell Me: (1) My dear builder (2) by ituen(m): 10:50am On Nov 22, 2007|
Can any1 explain the 1st joke 4 me
|Re: Now Tell Me: (1) My dear builder (2) by Rlst84sale(m): 7:48pm On Nov 23, 2007|
U r a comedian. I hope that woman would stop complaining of head ache after she comes out of that cage. Very funny joke.
|Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health |
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket
Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See Nairalist and How To Advertise