Ishilove:

Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.
 

emiye:
You stuff carcass in a basket , blood drips from the basket as you hurry to your room.

*blood trail is then traced to the front of your room * You are then summoned by the village priest to swear in okija shrine to not stealing chicken!!!

tchidi: *taking notes and nodding*

Nosyke: @Ishilove, nice post..made my day.
There is this very fat goat with Standard bia bia roaming around my crib, since you are well versed in such skills, any tips on a covert GOATnapping?
Thanks in anticipation.

Ishilove: Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.

The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come.

Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.
 
Another method:
 
Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet,grab target by the throat with one hand,ball second hand into a fist, raise fist as high as you can and ...

SMASH! PIPIAOW!! KPUGBUU!!! The target won't know what hit it. Stuff carcass into bag or basket and flee.
 
CAVEAT-This method is messy. Victims might be decapitated.
 
And another. . .
 
Lure target to you in the afore mentioned manner. Swiftly grab target and strangle. Stuff corpse into bag and vamoose.
 
**Author's note-ALL the methods described here have been tried and tested,with satisfactory results {don't ask me who}.

HOWEVER,the success of each method is hinged on the total and complete absence of witnesses.

Nota bene

Okeycima: op u dey Bleep up oooh.I tink say u go put dis method u no come put am. METHOD 1:wen d cock is close to ur house or compound lure it by dropping a grain of corn continuously 4 it den u will direct it inside ur house den show don finish.OR METHOD 2:dip a piece of bread inside an alcoholic drink EG calipso or squadron and toss it to d cock,he will eat and eat until he pass out.DEN D COCK IS URS

Ishilove:
Nwoke nmadu, ya head dey dia. Correct!!!

*quickly takes notes*

firestar:

Chai.

firestar: Ha...
Do want to burn calories that bad?
Why not go to the nearest poultry.

Ihedinobi: I'm in love. No way I can't use these methods to catch.this sharp op and the other chicken we'll use to celebrate my success. Imagine! Chick wey sharp like op na correct. She de tell me wetin I gaz do to corner am. I'm comin, Ishibaby. Make I go fin pepper, sorry, corn.

Ishilove:
Lmao!!! IHEDINOBI!!!!

Kai, characters full NL

Ihedinobi:

Wetin I do na? Make I no confess again?

Ihedinobi: Lol. Se u fit pour yasef hot water so?

Ishilove:
If you are proposing to me then my answer is...
*sniff, tears of joy pouring down*

...YES!!!!

Ishilove:
Nwoke nmadu, ya head dey dia. Correct!!!

*quickly takes notes*

Okeycima: if to ay u dey live. Crowded apartment like mine I.e FACE ME I FACE U.what u will do is to lure d chicken to one tight coner and apply d above method.preferably d second method.and wen is down u send an SOS message to ur homie or broda tru a small boy or girl saying'SCHOOL BOY DON COME MAKE EM BOIL WATER.so dat wen u come back everytin I already waiting 4 u.....

Ihedinobi:

Now, thazwhatImtalkinbout!!!!! *pumpingfistslikeaprizefighterandwhooping* YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ishilove:
Whoa whoa, steady, cowboy

maxman10: @Ihedinobi, u r really representn dt name. She must b in ur mnd, bt unfortunately fortunately, she is in mine too. Nd mayb othrs, hv u seen dt strng barb wire around d block? It's fed wth live electricity in case u try to b a slowpoke nd dabble into it
We now hv a tipical example pals, WHOOOOPPPPPYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Use any of the discribed methods above to catch the above mentioned chic-ken (the op), employ d best of tactics, nd wen shes very close, raise ur fist, hand or whteva and "WHACKKKKKK!!!!!!!". U knw wht I mean fellas

maxman10: owk! Owk!! Bt who says dt a prize cnt b stolen or snatched away, even rite 4rm d cookn pot? Eh! U mite hv d resources, bt I sent for mine sm 2hrs ago. It's due to arrive in 3months time at Oguta port, hehe Bt seriously brov am intrigued

Ishilove:
Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.

The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come.

Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.
 
Another method:
 
Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet,grab target by the throat with one hand,ball second hand into a fist, raise fist as high as you can and ...

SMASH! PIPIAOW!! KPUGBUU!!! The target won't know what hit it. Stuff carcass into bag or basket and flee.
 
CAVEAT-This method is messy. Victims might be decapitated.
 
And another. . .
 
Lure target to you in the afore mentioned manner. Swiftly grab target and strangle. Stuff corpse into bag and vamoose.
 
**Author's note-ALL the methods described here have been tried and tested,with satisfactory results {don't ask me who}.

HOWEVER,the success of each method is hinged on the total and complete absence of witnesses.

Nota bene

Ishilove:
Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.

The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come.

Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.
 
Another method:
 
Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet,grab target by the throat with one hand,ball second hand into a fist, raise fist as high as you can and ...

SMASH! PIPIAOW!! KPUGBUU!!! The target won't know what hit it. Stuff carcass into bag or basket and flee.
 
CAVEAT-This method is messy. Victims might be decapitated.
 
And another. . .
 
Lure target to you in the afore mentioned manner. Swiftly grab target and strangle. Stuff corpse into bag and vamoose.
 
**Author's note-ALL the methods described here have been tried and tested,with satisfactory results {don't ask me who}.

HOWEVER,the success of each method is hinged on the total and complete absence of witnesses.

Nota bene

Omoluabi16:
I wonder what you were smoking when you posted this.