I remember when the joke section was still young, you would come here and read nice jokes to cheer u up after a busy day. But these days I don't know if the only people who post here are gender confused secondary school leavers, awaiting their post jamb or post whatever results?

So this thread is to the good old times where jokes were meant to make u laugh so please feel free to dig into the archives and post ur best joke of all times. I will do the same soon.

PS. I hope this makes FP. Coz nothing seems to make it from here!

I think this first appeared in 2006. ENJOY

. A flight from London to Kano develops faults in Nigerian airspace.
very worried the captain calls the Aminu Kano airport.
"Aminu kano airport this is captain smith reporting flight 007"
"o you copy?"


Kano tower;- "yes Alhaji Smith we kofi"


British Airways "Flight 007 Reporting technical faults"


Kano tower;- "kai haba!"


British Airways; - "sorry tower couldnt get that"


Kano tower; - "okay phlight 00Seben kan you tune fawa in injin?"


British Airways; - "Negative power in engines dead"


Kano tower;- "Walahi?"


British Airways; - "Negative didnt copy"


Kano Tower;- "Kan u kom down to altitude twenty thousand pit?"


British Airways;- "negative tower, wings wont respond"


Kano tower;- "kai!"


British Airways;- "negative didnt copy that tower"


Kano Tower;- "okay d flane will kom down in som tym due to low injin fawa, ofun yo taya at altidute sis thousan fit, due 1st sebenty digri"


British Airways;- "Negative, cant activate the landing gea


Kano tower;- 'wayyo!'


British Airways;- "awaiting order, flight 007"


Kano Towers;- "okay refit apfta me"


British Airways;- "okay what?"


Kano Tower;- "ASHADU ANLA ILAHA ILLALAHU, WA ASHADU ANNA MUHAMMADAN
RASULULLAHI

lamemtation

This is another one of them blast from the past...

Segun came home from the pub late one Friday evening
stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed
beside his wife who was already asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the
end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who
the hell are you?" Demanded Segun, "and what are you
doing in my bedroom?".

The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom
and I'm St Peter".

Segun was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be,
I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to
my family, you've got to send me back straight
away".

St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but
there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog
or a hen."

Segun knowing there was a farm not
far from his house,he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and
clucking around pecking the ground.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So
you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first
day here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Segun, "but I have this
strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating." explained the rooster, "on't tell
me you've never laid an egg before".

"Never" replies Segun

"Well just relax and let it happen".

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds
later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense
feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got
the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the
first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling
of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being
reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever
happened to him, ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay
his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of
his head and heard his wife shouting:
"Segun, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting
in the bed!"

;DO boi I don nearly laugh die here o nice compose.

I can't laugh enough, please more!

Mehn no be small thing o