So today I was reading an article/discussion on the BBC website on african families and was curious to know what people on here thought. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4864496.stm)

The question: Whether the burden of responsibility placed on the eldest children, especially in larger families, is acceptable.

My questions:
Is it right that people have more children than they can manage and push the responsibility of raising children unto their eldest?

Is failing to plan the number of children that you can succesfully look after a good way to teach responsibility?

Is the way in which we raise and treat our children (in Nigeria) a cause for concern?

Is the way in which Nigerian families are 'managed' responsible for the problems we see in the country?

Thanks for reading. I look forward to your comments.

Wow, thirty-four viewings and no input.

Interesting.

Is it right that people have more children than they can manage and push the responsibility of raising children unto their eldest?

My parents took care of all their children, however if they ever fell on difficult times and we could help out of course we helped. It depends on the situation. If the parents are just putting their responsibilities on their older children because they are lazy, then that is wrong. But if the parents genuinely need help in taking care of their other kids and the older children can help then why not. If you read the comments of the people in the article, many of them don't look at their situation as burdens but rather as benevolence.

Is failing to plan the number of children that you can succesfully look after a good way to teach responsibility?

There are many factors that go into teaching responsibility. In general if you want your children to grow up with the ideal that they should only have children that they can take of then it would be a good idea for parents to lead by example by only having kids they can take care of. On the other hand older children do learn to be respondible for their younger ones in the situation where they have to take care of their younger siblings.

Is the way in which we raise and treat our children (in Nigeria) a cause for concern?

I am generally concerned about the way children are treated in every country. Everywhere you go you hear about children being maltreated whether it is  sexual abuse, domestic abuse, physical abuse e.t.c. Child abuse is nothing new, it has been happening for years and will continue to happen as long as the world exists.
I think that in Nigeria we need laws that protect the rights of children and we should also enforce these laws and prosecute the people who break these laws. This has to do with the general legal system. Our general legal system needs to get better so that  people who break laws are caught and properly prosecuted.

Is the way in which Nigerian families are 'managed' responsible for the problems we see in the country?

No. To say that the way we manage our families is responible for the problems we see in the country today would be reductionist. What particular problems are you talking about and what aspects of family management or mismanagement will be attributed to these problems. You are also forgetting that within Nigeria different cultures raise families differently. The problems within Nigeria are as a result of wack leaders, corruption, colonialism, neo-colonialism and other things as well

I just want to say my two cents.

Many of our parents didn't think of how they were going to take care of their children all most were thinking was the more children i have the more hands i will have to help in the farm,most didn't think that child have to go to school,be feed,and be provided for.

And some families might even be challeging each other who is going to have the most children but not how will i takecare of my children ?most depends on their borthers or sisters who are a little better of to take their children and care for them.

jacq:

I just want to say my two cents.

Many of our parents didn't think of how they were going to take care of their children all most were thinking was the more children i have the more hands i will have to help in the farm,most didn't think that child have to go to school,be feed,and be provided for.

And some families might even be challeging each other who is going to have the most children but not how will i takecare of my children ?most depends on their borthers or sisters who are a little better of to take their children and care for them.

cool,it's ture

My parents took care of their own children. However, it will not be a burden for me if I have to care for my siblings to the best of my ability. Does BBC have a problem with that? or do they want us to live irresponsibly in drunkeness rather than help out with our siblings?

I think some African parents are good while some others are nothing to write home about.
Why would a woman that sells roasted corn by the street,lives in a one room apartment with all her children and husband have nine children when she knows that there's no way she can take care of them?
Some parents are not concerned about the children's welfare.I wish the Govt can put something in place to take care of these kids or maybe castrate some dads.

o dont see anything wrong with that,im sure you have heard of the saying"responsibility builds character" parents do it not just because they cant take care of the rest of the kids or the younger ones but so that the first son will be responsible and it also fosters love in the family,u can see the contrast between the family network in the west and africa,it s extended to the children taking care of the parents rather than putting them in a home like they do here, no matter the economic situation of a nigerian their children will always stay with them till he/she is ready to support him/her self that is not to say there are no bad parents

that is life ooo

lucabrasi:

o don't see anything wrong with that,im sure you have heard of the saying"responsibility builds character" parents do it not just because they can't take care of the rest of the kids or the younger ones but so that the first son will be responsible and it also fosters love in the family,u can see the contrast between the family network in the west and africa,it s extended to the children taking care of the parents rather than putting them in a home like they do here, no matter the economic situation of a nigerian their children will always stay with them till he/she is ready to support him/her self that is not to say there are no bad parents

Good talk

I personally believe that our culture is the biggest problem with africa today. So I guess I will agree that the way we "manage" the family is one of the problems we have in africa.

its terrible, self esteem is my main concern, u just watch kids (3-6) from nigeria that are brought to the united states, its just terrible, no self esteem, when papa don beat the shit out of pickin, slapin and smaking,

TCUBE:

its terrible, self esteem is my main concern, u just watch kids (3-6) from nigeria that are brought to the united states, its just terrible, no self esteem, when papa don beat the shit out of pickin, slapin and smaking,

bullshit. shut up!!! speak for yourself.

Most responsible Nigerian parents bring their children up right. Smacking- doesn't sound severe enough for the caning I and my siblings got from our mum growing up. She brought us up right and the cane was all to put us right though then I could have said then that she was definitely not my mother. My dad was our favourite parent then, he never caned us. With hindsight, it was good to have both types of parents as too much of my dad's way would have ensured we were super spoilt with maggots coming out of every opening in our bodies.

I have been watching a lot of Supernanny on TV and sometimes it makes me feel perhaps, I don't need to cane my child perhaps I can do it the oyinbo way, naughty corner etc LOL. However, I can't help thinking that if the cane had been brought out in the 1st place, the child will not be the way they are such that they require Supernanny to sort them out. Hence, I concluded that I have to smack/cane my child to keep them in line as they need to fear (not horrible fear though) some kind of authority which they don't seem to have in schools in the UK.

And when I look at my friend that has his 17 year old son thats always lived in the UK and his 17 year old cousin that moved from 9ja at 15; you'd want the cousin to be your son any day. It appears UK children are taught how not to be responsible for anything, full of excuses and fully disregard any form of authority.

PS. I'm for teachers NOT caning children in 9ja schools though. The teachers almost took my life but for God. Chei.

These people want make our children be like dem own wey no get respect or control

It is sad that many people just have kids without thinking, what amazes me is the fact that pple that knows they cant even afford the kids, they just keep popping yearly and yet some fools will open their legs for them and get pregnant, knowing fully well that these guys wont take care of the kids.
I think it is high time their family do something about it, and let them know that, they cant making babies and expecting other pple to be looking after them.
If u can make babies, take care of them