marriage is no longer important for the society becouse they dont think or want the relathionship to last forever...only those who want to stay forever get married
I personally detest having to be married to someone for years...I mean how can one honeststly live with one person for years and years and years. I ld b bored to death.
And click the link below for more on statistics showing worldwide that less and less women are keen on marriage...its a worldwide thing so don't dare bring that african culture bullcrap here. I don't wanna see it!
http://advice.eharmony.com/blog/2011/10/28/is-marriage-losing-importance-around-the-world/

Girls, try to work hard for urself. Dere r tons of opportunities in naija to make tons of money. Don't let married friends (most of which are miserable with their cheating husbands or whose mess they have to clean up after) or society bully u into something you are not prepared for. Have u seen d divorce rates in naija lately? Trippled from 2010.
I personally have my own business and in my early 20s...just finished NYSC and business is great. Make money, travel wide...dere r so many places to see ppl to meet, opportunities to discover, kids to adopt, lives to change and ppl to employ. Life is so much more about so many things besides marriage...peace out!

This thread is discussing whether or not marriage/matrimony is still relevant in modern culture and society so it deserves a place here in the culture section.

Op
I respect your opinion, but I guess the best answer is to each his own. Marriage, as I see it, is an important part of society. Destroying marriage would mean destroying what it means to be a family, forever changing contemporary culture.

Yes marriage is still important in society and in certain cultures in the world today especially in Africa, the middle east and Asia but many people of today's age especially of this generation don't respect the institution of marriage like it was respected in the older generations particularly in the western world. People marry and divorce now a days as if they are getting groceries from the supermarket now, and I feel it has to do with the fact that people don't see value in it any more because the things people preach that should be done after marriage are being done like crazy now; plus many people of todays age especially in the western world are not interested in rushing into marriage and etc for many reasons, lastly many people are having children outside wed lock or being raised in single family homes and etc

I personally detest having to be married to someone for years...I mean how can one honeststly live with one person for years and years and years. I ld b bored to death.

Same here. I'm looking forward to kids, but not marriage.

It shouldn't be a "must", but in a Nigerian society, it will be hard to break away from that mentality.

@Odumchi

Why did you hide my post?

The post itself was too vague - the girl just ranted all through the post..

shymmex: @Odumchi

Why did you hide my post?

The post itself was too vague - the girl just ranted all through the post..

So you now decide what is a good thread and what isn't? lol.
Just let her be, abeg. Them no force you say you must write for am thread. If you no like am just dey waka.

Anyway, what do you think about this marriage issue? Do you still think that marriage is relevant in modern society?

Basically, everything boils down to the individual - and their outlook to life... I'm not a big fan of marriage myself, but if you want the best in life - you need someone who's closer than a friend, someone you can share your deepest secrets with, someone who can be your family etc.. We need to redefine the word;'marriage' - and explore what it actually entails...

Yes, the divorce rate is high because most people get married for the wrong reasons... Once we start exploring what marriage actually entails, we will realise that there are more positives from the institution, than negatives..

anonymous6: Yes marriage is still important in society and in certain cultures in the world today especially in Africa, the middle east and Asia but many people of today's age especially of this generation don't respect the institution of marriage like it was respected in the older generations particularly in the western world. People marry and divorce now a days as if they are getting groceries from the supermarket now, and I feel it has to do with the fact that people don't see value in it any more because the things people preach that should be done after marriage are being done like crazy now; plus many people of todays age especially in the western world are not interested in rushing into marriage and etc for many reasons, lastly many people are having children outside wed lock or being raised in single family homes and etc

All of these things are a result of pop culture and the new liberalism of the younger generation.

If marriage ever becomes insignificant in modern culture/society, then there would be drastic changes: the definition of a "family" would change, governments would have to find new ways to tax households, etc.

shymmex: Basically, everything boils down to the individual - and their outlook to life... I'm not a big fan of marriage myself, but if you want the best in life - you need someone who's closer than a friend, someone you can share your deepest secrets with, someone who can be your family etc.. We need to redefine the word;'marriage' - and explore what it actually entails...

Yes, the divorce rate is high because most people get married for the wrong reasons... Once we start exploring what marriage actually entails, we will realise that there are more positives from the institution, than negatives..

You're right. It also depends on what one accepts as the definition of marriage since Western culture is having an increasingly stronger influence on things like this. Is marriage the ceremony that you perform in your ancestral town, the covenant that you seal in a church, both, or the certificate that you get in a state court?

Some marry for love while others marry for visas.

Marriage is more than the union of a man and a woman... It involves friendship, companionship, love etc.. It's a bond between two - and you can never go wrong if you're married to the right person..

We're all young, and still have families, we can run to when we find ourselves in anything problematic in life... We have our families' shoulders to cry on... But there will be a time when your pops and mum won't be on this planet... A time when your siblings and those around now would've moved on with their lives and would be nowhere near you... Who are you going to call on then No man/woman is an island, and we all need a family...

For example: if you've ever lived in a place where you don't know no one, then you would understand how important having a family/marriage is..

odumchi:

All of these things are a result of pop culture and the new liberalism of the younger generation.

If marriage ever becomes insignificant in modern culture/society, then there would be drastic changes: the definition of a "family" would change, governments would have to find new ways to tax households, etc.

So true

I agree if Marriage became irrelevant in society it will be total chaos in all aspects of society.

odumchi:
You're right. It also depends on what one accepts as the definition of marriage since Western culture is having an increasingly stronger influence on things like this. Is marriage the ceremony that you perform in your ancestral town, the covenant that you seal in a church, both, or the certificate that you get in a state court?

Some marry for love while others marry for visas.

That's why marriage needs to be redefined...

Nothing is perfect in life, so, the marriage institution shouldn't be expected to be perfect - but if you marry for the right reasons, then you will never regret it..

shymmex: Basically, everything boils down to the individual - and their outlook to life... I'm not a big fan of marriage myself, but if you want the best in life - you need someone who's closer than a friend, someone you can share your deepest secrets with, someone who can be your family etc.. We need to redefine the word;'marriage' - and explore what it actually entails...

Yes, the divorce rate is high because most people get married for the wrong reasons... Once we start exploring what marriage actually entails, we will realise that there are more positives from the institution, than negatives..

I agree with you, that is what needs to be preached to the young generation today, people need to know the true meaning of marriage

Why do we feel things r western influenced all d time? Yes many things are; but the truth is that ccultures evolve. Europe and America weren't always pro-divorce...dey had connservative cultures just like us in d past...but as with technology and development, their socio-cultural dymamics r highly evolved compared to us...go figure! As we progress as a society, some things r gonna b put behind us. I am sorry but with divorce rate increasing daily, it is obvious Nigerians r clearly marrying for d wrong reasons...imagine just marrying cos I am from a good home or very pretty or cos my friends r married or cos he drives a nice car, he is cute...what happened to I feel so at ease with him/her and can share anything with him/her...but will u feel dat way 10yrs from now? And if u feel dat way, wat about ur partner? So u know who u love, but do u know who loves u? its tricky and I don't have d answers..its just a debate anyway.

odumchi:

You're right. It also depends on what one accepts as the definition of marriage since Western culture is having an increasingly stronger influence on things like this. Is marriage the thing that you do in your ancestral town, the thing that you do in a churhc, both, or the thing that you do in a state court? Some marry for love while others marry for visas.

shymmex:

That's why marriage needs to be redefined...

Nothing is perfect in life, so, the marriage institution shouldn't be expected to be perfect - but if you marry for the right reasons, then you will never regret it..

Exactly. Well said.

odumchi:

Exactly. Well said.

Go and get married, old man, stop using this thread as an excuse.

pufectskin: Why do we feel things r western influenced all d time? Yes many things are; but the truth is that ccultures evolve. Europe and America weren't always pro-divorce...dey had connservative cultures just like us in d past...but as with technology and development, their socio-cultural dymamics r highly evolved compared to us...go figure! As we progress as a society, some things r gonna b put behind us. I am sorry but with divorce rate increasing daily, [size=18pt]it is obvious Nigerians r clearly marrying for d wrong reasons[/size]...imagine just marrying cos I am from a good home or very pretty or cos my friends r married or cos he drives a nice car, he is cute...what happened to I feel so at ease with him/her and can share anything with him/her...but will u feel dat way 10yrs from now? And if u feel dat way, wat about ur partner? So u know who u love, but do u know who loves u? its tricky and I don't have d answers..its just a debate anyway.

Must every change equate to westernization?

Was Nigeria the way it was 50 years ago?


PS: I agree with the bolded.

anonymous6:

I agree with you, that is what needs to be preached to the young generation today, people need to know the true meaning of marriage

True... I actually never used to believe in the institution myself, but every time I see my mum and dad together - I just admire how glorious and wonderful it's to have someone who really cares next to you...

Living by myself for the last 6 years since I started Uni showed me why I need my own family... It's not always rosy, and my parent's marriage is a testimony to that - but if you can weather the storm (like we do in our everyday lives), marriage is a good thing...

pufectskin: Why do we feel things r western influenced all d time? Yes many things are; but the truth is that ccultures evolve. Europe and America weren't always pro-divorce...dey had connservative cultures just like us in d past...but as with technology and development, their socio-cultural dymamics r highly evolved compared to us...go figure! As we progress as a society, some things r gonna b put behind us. I am sorry but with divorce rate increasing daily, it is obvious Nigerians r clearly marrying for d wrong reasons...imagine just marrying cos I am from a good home or very pretty or cos my friends r married or cos he drives a nice car, he is cute...what happened to I feel so at ease with him/her and can share anything with him/her...but will u feel dat way 10yrs from now? And if u feel dat way, wat about ur partner? So u know who u love, but do u know who loves u? its tricky and I don't have d answers..its just a debate anyway.

I don't see Western influence as a good thing. It uproots African values/traditions and replaces them with foreign ideas, cultures, and mindsets. Europe and America have so many social/cultural problems that we Africans don't have.

It's just a matter of personal preference. It seems as if you're most worried about getting bored/tired of the other person. Everything in life has its ups and downs. Maybe you should consult your parents or your grand parents and ask them why they chose to marry each other and why they're still together (if they are).

Yoruba_Omoge:

Go and get married, old man, stop using this thread as an excuse.

Lmaoo . You're talking to the boy that's yet to be 17.

odumchi:
I don't see Western influence as a good thing. It uproots African values/traditions and replaces them with foreign ideas, cultures, and mindsets. Europe and America have so many social/cultural problems that we Africans don't have.

It's just a matter of personal preference. It seems as if you're most worried about getting bored/tired of the other person. Everything in life has its ups and downs. Maybe you should consult your parents or your grand parents and ask them why they chose to marry each other and why they're still together (if they are).

Cosign the bolded part 100000%...

If you've lived all your life in the West, like I have - and get a glimpse of the REAL African culture, you would know our culture is superior to their culture (when it comes to outlook to life)... And we as Africans need to start embracing our culture...

@OP. Stop ranting. If it's 'African' then it's bullcrap? #youtalkingnonsense

To me, too much of everything is bad, especially when you don't understand what you're copying..

There's absolutely nothing wrong with our culture, but because of the so-called; "Western Civilization" - we as Africans have lost our sense of belonging...

The good old African form of marriages were alright, and they lasted longer - but with this new extreme feminism madness, most women have lost their marbles..

No one is saying you should be subservient to men, but TOLERANCE is the key... Choose the right man for the right reason, and practice TOLERANCE - and you'd be alright, ok?

I don't get Nigerians who marry for love. LOL LMAO!! Love is not even 1% of marriage.

odumchi:

Lmaoo . You're talking to the boy that's yet to be 17.

shymmex: To me, too much of everything is bad, especially when you don't understand what you're copying..

There's absolutely nothing wrong with our culture, but because of the so-called; "Western Civilization" - we as Africans have lost our sense of belonging...

The good old African form of marriages were alright, and they lasted longer - but with this new extreme feminism madness, most women have lost their marbles..

No one is saying you should be subservient to men, but TOLERANCE is the key... Choose the right man for the right reason, and practice TOLERANCE - and you'd be alright, ok?

Is it me or are Westerners the only people who are even questioning the legitimacy of the marriage insitution? Africa and Asia seem to be doing fine, for the most part.

Yoruba_Omoge:

Na wetin?

odumchi:
Is it me or are Westerners the only people who are even questioning the legitimacy of the marriage insitution? Africa and Asia seem to be doing fine, for the most part.

Yes, they're... The divorce rate in the UK in 2011 was 11.1%/1000... I think US will be higher..

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2010/jan/28/divorce-rates-marriage-ons

The divorce rate in Nigeria isn't even that high, probably about.. 0.30%/1000..

The OP is an attention seeker..

OP i do not respect you. if you ever step near my home, i will beat you up and send you to a place you wont like.

shymmex:

True... I actually never used to believe in the institution myself, but every time I see my mum and dad together - I just admire how glorious and wonderful it's to have someone who really cares next to you...

Living by myself for the last 6 years since I started Uni showed me why I need my own family... It's not always rosy, and my parent's marriage is a testimony to that - but if you can weather the storm (like we do in our everyday lives), marriage is a good thing...

Coming from a loving home, where the parents are together really helps and influence the children when they get older and want to settle and marry with the one meant for them, so that is good to hear from you.

odumchi: This thread is discussing whether or not marriage/matrimony is still relevant in modern culture and society so it deserves a place here in the culture section.

Op
I respect your opinion, but I guess the best answer is to each his own. Marriage, as I see it, is an important part of society. Destroying marriage would mean destroying what it means to be a family, forever changing contemporary culture.

Dont mind the gurl.one wonders wht dis lyf is turning into.without the said marriage she detaste,will she had born or even existed to ve posted this naughty article?Lets forgt abt whatever statistics & yardstic any researcher has concluded bt one thing is certain,marriage is Godly.its not abt culture,norms&values,its simply natural cos it has to do wit pro-create.irrespective of the fact that pple gt married for the wrong reason without knowing the benefits and blessings accured to it(am not getting religious nw).so anything,whtevr thing,whtevr belief centered on planet earth pro-create.without procreation,i bet u that nothing would ve existed vis-a-vis marriage.

@Post

I think that it depends on the individual. Marraige in itself is not bad but what marraige has become in this day and age is what I detest. I especially detest the infidelity part where married men and even women sleep around like they are not married. I don't like what I personally saw in many Nigerian marraiges (back in Nigeria) where the men are cheating on their wives and vice versa; where some men go and impregnate another woman outside their matrimonial home and then justify his actions by saying his wife has been birthing girls and no boys; the terrible and disgusting custom of giving widows the bath water of their husbands' corpse to drink to prove their innocence in the man's death; the issue of a man dying and his family throwing the wife out of her matrimonial home and taking everything that belonged to the couple for themselves and leaving the woman and her kids with absolutely nothing.

And don't get me started with the ever present emotional, verbal and physical abuse in the home. Women getting smacked and verbally abused by their mother in-laws all because they have not yet been able to conceive with a child even if it is their husbands' fault or due to no fault of their own. I mean, I don't think that is what God had in mind when he created the institution we know as marraige.

The only reason our mothers and grandmothers stayed in their marraiges is because of societal stigma and/or because many would not have been able to provide for their kids all alone. That many chose to stay in their marraiges and tough it out does not necessarily mean that they were all happy.

Pufectskin, do what makes you happy. You have only one life to live. Marraige is not something anyone should be forced into because both parties will just end up getting hurt. Not getting married does not necessarily mean that one will not have a family of one's own. You can still adopt children or have some of your own if you wish. After all, there are many women in Nigeria who did get married but their husbands are dead and they are raising their kids all alone without any help except from God. Their husbands' family have abandoned them. Yet they survive and many are active members of their church congregation whose members look out for them as well.

It is better to be alive, happy and single than to be either dead because a spouse killed you; sick because his cheating ways caused you to contact HIV/AIDs or STI from him or be just downright stressed and miserable. Lastly, since you have your own business and are doing well, please kindly invest in property outside of Nigeria as well if possible. That way, if Nigerians try or attempt to drive you up the wall all because you are not married, you can easily relocate to another country where you can live your life in utter peace and tranquility. Wish you all the best!

i guess this topic is not for a universal discuss ,is a kinda individualistic issue ,it all depends on various subjects ,some see it as a epitom while some don't,just like culture its subjective,all depends on how one chooses to live is life,after all marriage aint a moral value,its just a social union,or kinda social interaction