@babajeje123

If I would say, women also like to have opinions, two heads are better than 1 they say so I would advise that you always discuss with your wife and plan together.

Maybe you should hold on on the plan to bring your mum, Apparently you love your mum the same way she love hers and it's beginning to look like you are competing with her.

On sending money home to her mum, let he start working so she can do as much as she want for them but that also shouldn't stop you to include her in your budget once in a while. I sort my parents needs myself And sometimes hubby can just ask me for my dad or mum account number and send them money, I didn't ask him to do but it is voluntary and of course it earns him more respect. And I will also say even when I do my parents calls him before they call me because In their mind he is also aware and he supported me in giving them

I said this because if there is communication and mutual agreement, believe me your MIL won't care whose account the money came from
Please be easy on her, we are created differently and our understanding to life is also different.

May you both walk together In Clarity and Understanding

Aprokodaughter:


So as this matter take concern your friend wife?

na the same pattern. Dem no gree sit down. Men dey Bleep up to, when you no dey listen to your wife. But you see my mama is not negotiable. Where i for be without am.

babajeje123:
Thank you all for you suggestions. Apparently, she wants me to be sending her mom money every month, that is what she meant when she asked for the plan I have for her mom. Women and their wahala! You will be striving on how to make life easier for them and they will be adding to your burden. It is well!

On student visa? With family?

Well ... let her get a job first and start making that money

Think this visa is only a 2 years work visa for Indians. Few other countries are included

LagosismyHome:


I saw it earlier and said na wa ooo. In 20 years this would become a fully Indian country

Nigeria's educational system is almost non-existent in comparison to other emerging countries (MexicoIndonesiaNigeriaTurkey) who are Nigeria's contemporary. Fixing the educational system would lead to improved innovation, logical reasoning, strategy etc which are all vital when thinking about solving societal problem in policy inadequacies, non-industrialization etc

hustla:


I think poverty is one of the causes and that can be solved by the government with massive industrialization and provision of the basics

If they can Decide to fix just electricity and internet, a whole lotttt can happen within 5 years.. But we know as the story be

babajeje123 one advise I have for you is to pump the brakes a little bit.

Summary: try shelf all plans and focus on saving for PSW visa life. You will be very very frustrated if you don't put your house in order. If you wan catch rat, you go behave like rat. Divert the attention to what your immediate family needs (paying house rent, childchare) not what your external families need.

You're on student visa and I believe you should be focusing on saving for the after studies life. You probably have given her the wrong impression with the fact that you hustled the money and could fund bringing her down from Nigeria and also paying for quarantine hotel.

Try to put other plans on pause and map out how to solidify your stay here. You can start by letting her know that you have put aside the plans on bringing your mum. Then mention everything that needs to be done to solidify your stay in terms of IHS surcharge, PSW visa fees and the likes. Brainstorm together how to go about it in terms of savings because you need to pay those fees to stay back here.

Enlighten her about the finances that comes being an immigrant in the UK. Probably the reality would hit and change her perspective. You might not he able to achieve this if you don't pump the brakes on how much you disburse out (to other family members)except you had prior savings from Nigeria. Don't portray it to her like it's easy to make this £. Encourage her to get a job probably the reality will dawn on her.

You're clearly working over the permitted limit and you should really be careful with that.

Yes, i contacted Covid. Had serious back pain on the 1st

Lexusgs430:
Guy's please be careful out and about, this covid is spreading like wildfire ..........

It's showing no mercy, kids, geriatrics, men, women, pregnant ladies etc etc .......

Be mindful.......

Good evening everyone. I and my spouse is looking for accomodation in Liverpool. This accomodation thingy is very tedious. We have used zipoola and open rent but the terms are crazy; Paying for 12months min some 6 with additional bills like unrefundable deposit etc. Please if anyone has Futher genuine recommendations or knows a landlord subletting a 1 bedroom or studio kindly let me know. Thank you

mayo47:
Yes, i contacted Covid. Had serious back pain on the 1st

If you still breath, been infected with covid now, is simply second nature.............

umarwy:
@mamatukwas

https://a1care.co.uk/

Offers sponsorship for senior care workers

But they are looking for drivers

Thank you so much.

Ugool:
Good evening everyone. I and my spouse is looking for accomodation in Liverpool. This accomodation thingy is very tedious. We have used zipoola and open rent but the terms are crazy; Paying for 12months min some 6 with additional bills like unrefundable deposit etc. Please if anyone has Futher genuine recommendations or knows a landlord subletting a 1 bedroom or studio kindly let me know. Thank you

Have you tried this website
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/11314800/

jesmond3945:
na the same pattern. Dem no gree sit down. Men dey Bleep up to, when you no dey listen to your wife. But you see my mama is not negotiable. Where i for be without am.

So your wife is negotiable? But you sha no fit marry your mama and if you can listen to your mums advise you can do same for your wife

Bluetherapy:
babajeje123 one advise I have for you is to pump the brakes a little bit.

Summary: try shelf all plans and focus on saving for PSW visa life. You will be very very frustrated if you don't put your house in order. If you wan catch rat, you go behave like rat. Divert the attention to what your immediate family needs (paying house rent, childchare) not what your external families need.

You're on student visa and I believe you should be focusing on saving for the after studies life. You probably have given her the wrong impression with the fact that you hustled the money and could fund bringing her down from Nigeria and also paying for quarantine hotel.

Try to put other plans on pause and map out how to solidify your stay here. You can start by letting her know that you have put aside the plans on bringing your mum. Then mention everything that needs to be done to solidify your stay in terms of IHS surcharge, PSW visa fees and the likes. Brainstorm together how to go about it in terms of savings because you need to pay those fees to stay back here.

Enlighten her about the finances that comes being an immigrant in the UK. Probably the reality would hit and change her perspective. You might not he able to achieve this if you don't pump the brakes on how much you disburse out (to other family members)except you had prior savings from Nigeria. Don't portray it to her like it's easy to make this £. Encourage her to get a job probably the reality will dawn on her.

You're clearly working over the permitted limit and you should really be careful with that.

Best advice as so far!!

Maturedhustler:
My people,


My 1st intention for relocation is to get my teenager children into UK university without paying international fees as UK resident (getting best education at reasonable cost) and I guess to achieve that, I have to start looking beyond my 1-yr master program. I need a lot of guidance on this. I am open to work/setting up business (good in pastry, restaurant and supermarket)


Thanks in advance as I look forward to your sincere advice.

You need to have legally lived in Scotland for 3 years to qualify as a Resident (same with your kids) but once you do University Edu is free. Unfortunately I don’t think your oldest kids might qualify. They might get bursaries though. Nothing is impossible.

@babajeje, you have got good advise from majority on here. Just stay calm and sort everything out in order of importance, pause travelling plans, let her get a job, sort out your PSW or Tier 2 visa route.
Once both of you have good earning capacity discuss with each other on how to get the ball rolling with bringing family over and also involve her in researching and getting things done in the house and your settlement in the UK. Wishing you the very best.

justwise:


bro you try oo, 4kids on student visa route is not beans, well-done!!

Regarding your question about your kids paying home student's fees..i pretty much doubt that.

Its actually a very common trend now. Majority do it for the "free" education the UK offers at least pre University. Parents are reluctant to pay exorbitant school fees for "poor" standard of education in Nigeria.

Get in touch bro I might have something for you

Ugool:
Good evening everyone. I and my spouse is looking for accomodation in Liverpool. This accomodation thingy is very tedious. We have used zipoola and open rent but the terms are crazy; Paying for 12months min some 6 with additional bills like unrefundable deposit etc. Please if anyone has Futher genuine recommendations or knows a landlord subletting a 1 bedroom or studio kindly let me know. Thank you

Maturedhustler:
My people,

I have been a silent follower of this thread and UK student thread for months. I have read and keep reading to learn and channel my course from many experiences in this forum. Thanks to great contributors like Justwise, chreze, Fatimo04, Lexusgs430,Scoobydo, Lagosishome, HRguy, Dupshe and many others too numerous to mention (apology if I wrongly spelt ur ID)

Following my learnings from here, I have successfully entered UK (Glasgow to be precise) with my family via student (UWS, Lanarkshire) route. Currently in BnB as advised for next 2 weeks while searching for permanent residence. I am searching on openrent, Gumtree, Zoopla etc

My campus is in Lanarkshire, Scotland but my priority is best school for my kids (16,15,13 &10). In my search, Refrenshire has best schools but we like to have local/close to ground information that can guide me in areas to focus on while searching for accommodation.

My 1st intention for relocation is to get my teenager children into UK university without paying international fees as UK resident (getting best education at reasonable cost) and I guess to achieve that, I have to start looking beyond my 1-yr master program. I need a lot of guidance on this. I am open to work/setting up business (good in pastry, restaurant and supermarket)

I got a hint that as a student even if am a resident, my dependent going to university/college will still pay international fees. Pls I need confirmation on this for my guidance. My first child (will be 17 by Apr) is to enter final class in High school and should be going to higher institution later this year.

My husband is willing to support via his work back in Naija and be visiting for now. He’s open to changes as event unfolds.

Thanks in advance as I look forward to your sincere advice.

Your kids will pay full international fees whether you reside in Scotland or England unless they have ILR or British citizenship and they've been resident permanently the country for a stipulated period (minimum 3 years)

Universities are very strict now and they ask for evidence of settled status/citizenship/visa/residency status prior to enrolling the student for an undergraduate degree.

https://www.saas.gov.uk/full-time/funding-information-undergraduate

https://www.savethestudent.org/student-finance/finance-system-for-scottish-students.html

Abeg people in Edinburgh, How are you doing it with getting a accommodation. I have used Zoopla, Rightmove and Openrent to no a avail.
Please anybody with Direct Landlord should please help. I am here with my two children and Wife. We are both working in the Healthcare industry. I just got job few days ago and wifey has been here since November.

Biko make una help.

Ralphlauren:


Your kids will pay full international fees whether you reside in Scotland or England unless they have ILR or British citizenship and they've been resident permanently the country for a stipulated period (minimum 3 years)

Universities are very strict now and they ask for evidence of settled status/citizenship/visa/residency status prior to enrolling the student for an undergraduate degree.

https://www.saas.gov.uk/full-time/funding-information-undergraduate

https://www.savethestudent.org/student-finance/finance-system-for-scottish-students.html

It might be Uni dependent for Scotland. My husband’s colleague is paying resident fees for his Mres. He’s lived here for 4 years. No ILR yet.

babajeje123:
This is a personal issue that is bothering me. I have decided to post it here with the hope that I would get matured advise here. Besides, people on this platform would be able to advise better since most live in the UK.g

Can two work together unless they agree? One will chase 1000 and two will chase 10,000.......

Put on hold the plans to bring your mum over and focus on getting your wife a job ASAP. By the time she sees how much you are paying for childcare or the impact it has on her career (eg. Unable to work longer shifts, overtime, get a 9-5 office based or hybrid job), she will be the one pushing to have your mum over to support with childcare.

As soon as she gets a job, she can decide to put her mum on a salary and give her whatsoever she wishes as long as its not to the detriment of her immediate family (eg. She is unable to save enough for her psw dependent fees, etc).

Thanks so much. I just sent you an email

omopapa:
Get in touch bro I might have something for you

Mamatukwas:


It might be Uni dependent for Scotland. My husband’s colleague is paying resident fees for his Mres. He’s lived here for 4 years. No ILR yet.

This is thousands of pounds and it's not uncommon for universities to offer "bursaries" to students irrespective of their immigration status to offset part of the fees.

In the case of the poster I quoted above, she is seeking advice for undergraduate degree which isn't cheap even for those with settled status in England (average is around £9000).

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-england-highest-world-compare-students-student-loan-calculator-a7654276.html%3famp

Thank you. I will give them a call tomorrow

onecoder:

Have you tried this website
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/11314800/

jesmond3945:
hahahqhqh the ordinary life of an immigrant in uk. What you just described is what happens in 80 percent of homes especially those who brought their other half. Apologies to our women, I love you all. However, you must understand the 21 nights you worked to bring her here doesnt matter to her. She is highly entitled. Afterall, you are supposed to bring them.Number two, women think of their family first before the man's, then her kids. You come last. Summary, take charge. When you want to do anything, tell her you want to do this and go ahead. If it would benefit the family.You dont need to explain. Bring your mother to uk whether she likes it or not. After she goes, you bring hers. That joint stuff you want to do please dont do it. Keep your money and buy properties back home if you want to. What your wife needs to see is land documents and not to debate how much or what land to buy. Work hard to appreciate yourself. Dont always please her, do the much you can. Follow your heart.

Na wa for this advice o

babajeje123:
Thank you all for you suggestions. Apparently, she wants me to be sending her mom money every month, that is what she meant when she asked for the plan I have for her mom. Women and their wahala! You will be striving on how to make life easier for them and they will be adding to your burden. It is well!

In my opinion and this may be unpopular, but I think giving her mom money monthly should be a choice and not an obligation especially if your wife has siblings.

Ralphlauren:

[b][/b]
Can two work together unless they agree? One will chase 1000 and two will chase 10,000.......
.

“Apostle will hear this”

Like you’ve been advised above, try to resolve this tension between you and your wife…
Don’t try to do more than yourself. Remember you are on a student visa. It’s hard enough being a student + working + having kids and wife and yet you want add your mum into the equation at this initial stage?.
Help your wife apply for jobs and let you guys settle down properly before thinking of who to invite.
When she starts working you guys can either splits the bills equally or who earns the most pays a few more bills than the other party.
Loneliness in UK is very bad so don’t try to break the beautiful thing you have.
Even if your wife agrees that your mum should come, you’ll need to get a bigger accommodation to contain all of your and you’ll also pay more bills.

Don’t try to run before you learn how to walk…x

Ralphlauren:


This is thousands of pounds and it's not uncommon for universities to offer "bursaries" to students irrespective of their immigration status to offset part of the fees.

In the case of the poster I quoted above, she is seeking advice for undergraduate degree which isn't cheap even for those with settled status in England (average is around £9000).

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-england-highest-world-compare-students-student-loan-calculator-a7654276.html%3famp

I agree. She’s in Scotland though and Uni is free here for residents. So while I’m not knocking what you’re saying, If they are still in Scotland 3 years from now, she should be able to get undergrad free for the kids that are the entering at the time.

Mamatukwas:


I agree. She’s in Scotland though and Uni is free here for residents. So while I’m not knocking what you’re saying, If they are still in Scotland 3 years from now, she should be able to get undergrad free for the kids that are the entering at the time.

Ma'am, the kids won't qualify for free tuition based on just 3 years residency alone oh but they might be eligible for student loan which HMRC will get back from them as soon as they start earning above a particular threshold.

They must have attained settled status to be eligible for free tuiton. Please refer to the link and screenshot I posted above which is directly from the student awards agency Scotland - the body tasked with processing applications and paying out the fees to the universities on behalf of the Scottish government.

I have a family friend with a Nigerian born son which she brought along with her as a child (i can't remember the age he relocated but he couldn't have been older than 10) and she overstayed her visa. She eventually regularised his status and was able to secure ILR for her son in his final term in high school. The University had expressly told her he would have to pay fees due to his status at the time. The child in question attended both primary and secondary school in Scotland. I know her stoty because she told everyone that cared to listen about the testimony

Revolut

DisGuy:


As in Revolut? Or another app called revolt?

canadaishome:


In my opinion and this may be unpopular, but I think giving her mom money monthly should be a choice and not an obligation especially if your wife has siblings.

Your opinion is actually not unpopular . It should be by choice and not an obligation.

Ralphlauren:


Ma'am, the kids won't qualify for free tuition based on just 3 years residency alone oh but they might be eligible for student loan which HMRC will get back from them as soon as they start earning above a particular threshold.

They must have attained settled status to be eligible for free tuiton. Please refer to the link and screenshot I posted above which is directly from the student awards agency Scotland - the body tasked with processing applications and paying out the fees to the universities on behalf of the Scottish government.

I have a family friend with a Nigerian born son which she brought along with her as a child (i can't remember the age he relocated but he couldn't have been older than 10) and she overstayed her visa. She eventually regularised his status and was able to secure ILR for her son in his final term in high school. The University had expressly told her he would have to pay fees due to his status at the time. The child in question attended both primary and secondary school in Scotland. I know her stoty because she told everyone that cared to listen about the testimony

Lol I read it. I’m just saying that it’s possible because of a few peoples experiences I know currently. The school only checked ‘residency’ status and charged them as Scottish Residents. When it gets to her turn the poster should try her luck and see Hopefully simple Residency will suffice for her at the time.