deept:


Ironic how the strain was linked to cameroon just as the nations cup is about to start.

IvanCardozo:
Good morning all,

Happy first Sunday of the year. I recently landed in the UK. My day 2 kit was delivered to the UK address before I even got in.
I did the test on Friday and immediately sent back via post same Friday. (Royal mail)

Till today, I'm yet to receive a mail from the AIS covid people. I was thinking it's 24hrs? I'm super tired mehn.

IvanCardozo:


Gentlemen, its been 5 days since i sent my day 2 sample. first, it was affected by the break as royal mail no work, now they picked it yesterday and its still on transit. i don tire. Me i will step out oo.

I had negative result from nigeria before leaving
i Have the 2 vaccine jabs
and ive done my part by sending my samples.

I will step out oooo

IcecoldDon:
@ TheGuyFromHR @Chreze @OSCARTM @dubaiprince

Please just reposting this here more responses to help me take a decision please.

Hi guys, Happy New Year to you all. My spouse and 3 kids are coming to join me in a couple of months and I would deeply appreciate recommendations for decent and affordable areas to get accommodation in Birmingham. Someone told me of King standing and advised that I should go for areas like that as my budget is around £600-£650 for a 2 bedroom. Also really good Christian based primary schools will be a great attraction for me, I get that most of the schools are great and so I am just asking for personal reviews or recommendations based on individual experiences for what I should look out for when narrowing down my choices both for the accommodation and the school.

Healhtyliving:
Hahaha is that a threat o something

IvanCardozo:


Gentlemen, its been 5 days since i sent my day 2 sample. first, it was affected by the break as royal mail no work, now they picked it yesterday and its still on transit. i don tire. Me i will step out oo.

I had negative result from nigeria before leaving
i Have the 2 vaccine jabs
and ive done my part by sending my samples.

I will step out oooo

Maturedhustler:
My people,

I have been a silent follower of this thread and UK student thread for months. I have read and keep reading to learn and channel my course from many experiences in this forum. Thanks to great contributors like Justwise, chreze, Fatimo04, Lexusgs430,Scoobydo, Lagosishome, HRguy, Dupshe and many others too numerous to mention (apology if I wrongly spelt ur ID)

Following my learnings from here, I have successfully entered UK (Glasgow to be precise) with my family via student (UWS, Lanarkshire) route. Currently in BnB as advised for next 2 weeks while searching for permanent residence. I am searching on openrent, Gumtree, Zoopla etc

My campus is in Lanarkshire, Scotland but my priority is best school for my kids (16,15,13 &10). [/b]In my search, Refrenshire has best schools but we like to have local/close to ground information that can guide me in areas to focus on while searching for accommodation.

My 1st intention for relocation is to get my teenager children into UK university without paying international fees as UK resident (getting best education at reasonable cost) and I guess to achieve that, I have to start looking beyond my 1-yr master program. I need a lot of guidance on this. I am open to work/setting up business (good in pastry, restaurant and supermarket)

[b]I got a hint that as a student even if am a resident, my dependent going to university/college will still pay international fees. Pls I need confirmation on this for my guidance. My first child (will be 17 by Apr) is to enter final class in High school and should be going to higher institution later this year.

My husband is willing to support via his work back in Naija and be visiting for now. He’s open to changes as event unfolds.

Thanks in advance as I look forward to your sincere advice.

Lexusgs430:



You are better off in Medway, than Maidstone....... Buses in Kent are not cheap ...........

IvanCardozo:


Gentlemen, its been 5 days since i sent my day 2 sample. first, it was affected by the break as royal mail no work, now they picked it yesterday and its still on transit. i don tire. Me i will step out oo.

I had negative result from nigeria before leaving
i Have the 2 vaccine jabs
and ive done my part by sending my samples.

I will step out oooo

IcecoldDon:
@ TheGuyFromHR @Chreze @OSCARTM @dubaiprince

Please just reposting this here more responses to help me take a decision please.

Hi guys, Happy New Year to you all. My spouse and 3 kids are coming to join me in a couple of months and I would deeply appreciate recommendations for decent and affordable areas to get accommodation in Birmingham. Someone told me of King standing and advised that I should go for areas like that as my budget is around £600-£650 for a 2 bedroom. Also really good Christian based primary schools will be a great attraction for me, I get that most of the schools are great and so I am just asking for personal reviews or recommendations based on individual experiences for what I should look out for when narrowing down my choices both for the accommodation and the school.

IvanCardozo:


Gentlemen, its been 5 days since i sent my day 2 sample. first, it was affected by the break as royal mail no work, now they picked it yesterday and its still on transit. i don tire. Me i will step out oo.

I had negative result from nigeria before leaving
i Have the 2 vaccine jabs
and ive done my part by sending my samples.

I will step out oooo

Lexusgs430:
Babajeje123 - Does your wife work ?......

babajeje123:
This is a personal issue that is bothering me. I have decided to post it here with the hope that I would get matured advise here. Besides, people on this platform would be able to advise better since most live in the UK.

I came to the UK last year on student's visa for a 2 year programme. it was challenging upon arrival because the country was on lock down and getting a job was not a walk in the park. When I got one, I had to work many hours during holiday period to pay the debt I owed and also to bring in my family (2 kids + wife). I had to pay for quarantine accommodation because I wanted them to come in December. I got a 2 bed, furnished it, bought other items to make life at least a bit better for my wife. However, she is not appreciative and I am beginning to regret bringing her.

When she arrived, we were all over each other, probably because we've missed each other and all of that. I just noticed that her attitude started changing. I had an idea of what could have brought a change of mood but I didn't want to guess. May be a week after her arrival, I told her about my plan to bring in my mum in April - May so she can help with the kids so that both of us can work as much as we want, knowing fully well that she too will do her masters come next year. She told me it was okay and she had nothing against it. So today, I told her that I would be sending money to my mum by month end so she can starts apply for her passport. She kept quiet for some seconds and said okay. Then, she began to tell me how I always make decisions without carrying her along and how I always kick when she has something better. Then I asked her to gave an instance. She said back at home, she had a certain amount she was giving to her mum every month which she suspended when I was planning to come. She went ahead to tell me that I never gave her mother anything except on few instances since we got married. And then she said, 'what is your plan for my mummy?'

I told her that during the time I was unable to give to her mum, I didn't have and I wasn't even giving to my mum too. However, in December when she with the kids, my mum and her sister were on their way to the airport, I sent 20k to her and sent a message that she should give the sister to help me give her mum as Christmas money. I made it clear that she raised the issue because of my plan for my mum and she denied it. Meanwhile, her mum has a daughter in the UK with her husband. They have tried to bring her in on 2 occasions last year but she was denied. So I told her that we can't bring her mum in now because Home office might think we are desperate and place her on a 10 year ban. She would not have any of my explanations. She just withdrew into her shell.

I left where we were to the room and thought about all my struggle in bringing her and felt terrible. I was wondering if this is not the same woman I told that I worked 21 nights and was still going to lectures from work in order to raise money for their travel. I worked in a food processing company (you can imagine the cold), laundry etc to bring them in. I know the matter has not died and she would still raise it and it may lead to a big fight. We have had the discussion before at home and it led to a terrible fight. Now this. Let me quickly chip it in that when she came and we talked about money for family projects, she initially said each of us should keep our money and contribute a certain percent. The reason she made the suggestion was that she might want to give her mother money and for personal stuff which I may not agree to her dipping hands into family purse. I told her that contributing a quota might not work because of all the things we desire to achieve this year. I told her that what can work is to take a certain amount from her weekly earning for her mum and personal stuff and putting the remaining into the family account and I will also do likewise. She agreed to the suggestion.

Please, how do I handle this matter? I don't want fight because I have a lot to do and I tell you her words can make the meekest man on earth to misbehave. In my life, I have never thought of divorce or separation, but it came to my mind today after the discussion. In fact, I am beginning to look for a job that would take me far away from home as it appears as if we appreciate each other when we are apart.

Now, I can't concentrate on my ICAs. I just hate it when people are trying to manipulate me. It's so painful if you are dealing with someone who doesn't appreciate your efforts. Yesterday, I gave her 85GBP for her DBS. Before she left home, she complained around October that she wanted to change her wardrobe, I sent money. Getting here, she told me she can't be wearing those clothes, I gave her 100GBP. I gave my card details to add on her phone account for data all in a bid to make her happy and for us to have a peaceful home which we didn't have in Naija because of lack of resources.

See, the kind of advise I need is what to do not to give too much attention to her. Suggesting that I should have a heart-to-heart talk with her won't work because it has never worked. It always leads to heated argument and insults. I won't mind if someone can recommend a good marriage counselor.

Pearlyfaze:



Your mum coming is to help with the kids right?.
Except there are other reasons why you want your mum to come, tell her your mum won't come again.
Infact no more visitor from either family.
Make peace from reign in your home.
Marriage is about the two of you and compromising for each other in other for peace to reign and for the home to work.

Next time before you take decision, discuss it with your wife.
From your post, you only informed your wife about your plans of bringing your mum, she was never part of the decision.

Marriage thrives on communication. So communicate with your wife sire.

Share the child care 50-50.

She is here already and she gats more power than you do. So don't even think of Divorce or separation because na your body go tell you.

I sense Rivalry in your home brother.

Whatever is the case, Brother communication is key.

Talk to each other.

Don't just go and take decisions because you think you are the Head of the family and she is the tail. Na Africa this pattern dey work nor be Obodo oyibo.

Peace.

harwe:
Thanks for this information. Was hoping to download the Highway code and study.

It might be a difficult thing driving in this city

babajeje123:

She hasn't started working

babajeje123:
This is a personal issue that is bothering me. I have decided to post it here with the hope that I would get matured advise here. Besides, people on this platform would be able to advise better since most live in the UK.

I came to the UK last year on student's visa for a 2 year programme. it was challenging upon arrival because the country was on lock down and getting a job was not a walk in the park. When I got one, I had to work many hours during holiday period to pay the debt I owed and also to bring in my family (2 kids + wife). I had to pay for quarantine accommodation because I wanted them to come in December. I got a 2 bed, furnished it, bought other items to make life at least a bit better for my wife. However, she is not appreciative and I am beginning to regret bringing her.

When she arrived, we were all over each other, probably because we've missed each other and all of that. I just noticed that her attitude started changing. I had an idea of what could have brought a change of mood but I didn't want to guess. May be a week after her arrival, I told her about my plan to bring in my mum in April - May so she can help with the kids so that both of us can work as much as we want, knowing fully well that she too will do her masters come next year. She told me it was okay and she had nothing against it. So today, I told her that I would be sending money to my mum by month end so she can starts apply for her passport. She kept quiet for some seconds and said okay. Then, she began to tell me how I always make decisions without carrying her along and how I always kick when she has something better. Then I asked her to gave an instance. She said back at home, she had a certain amount she was giving to her mum every month which she suspended when I was planning to come. She went ahead to tell me that I never gave her mother anything except on few instances since we got married. And then she said, 'what is your plan for my mummy?'

I told her that during the time I was unable to give to her mum, I didn't have and I wasn't even giving to my mum too. However, in December when she with the kids, my mum and her sister were on their way to the airport, I sent 20k to her and sent a message that she should give the sister to help me give her mum as Christmas money. I made it clear that she raised the issue because of my plan for my mum and she denied it. Meanwhile, her mum has a daughter in the UK with her husband. They have tried to bring her in on 2 occasions last year but she was denied. So I told her that we can't bring her mum in now because Home office might think we are desperate and place her on a 10 year ban. She would not have any of my explanations. She just withdrew into her shell.

I left where we were to the room and thought about all my struggle in bringing her and felt terrible. I was wondering if this is not the same woman I told that I worked 21 nights and was still going to lectures from work in order to raise money for their travel. I worked in a food processing company (you can imagine the cold), laundry etc to bring them in. I know the matter has not died and she would still raise it and it may lead to a big fight. We have had the discussion before at home and it led to a terrible fight. Now this. Let me quickly chip it in that when she came and we talked about money for family projects, she initially said each of us should keep our money and contribute a certain percent. The reason she made the suggestion was that she might want to give her mother money and for personal stuff which I may not agree to her dipping hands into family purse. I told her that contributing a quota might not work because of all the things we desire to achieve this year. I told her that what can work is to take a certain amount from her weekly earning for her mum and personal stuff and putting the remaining into the family account and I will also do likewise. She agreed to the suggestion.

Please, how do I handle this matter? I don't want fight because I have a lot to do and I tell you her words can make the meekest man on earth to misbehave. In my life, I have never thought of divorce or separation, but it came to my mind today after the discussion. In fact, I am beginning to look for a job that would take me far away from home as it appears as if we appreciate each other when we are apart.

Now, I can't concentrate on my ICAs. I just hate it when people are trying to manipulate me. It's so painful if you are dealing with someone who doesn't appreciate your efforts. Yesterday, I gave her 85GBP for her DBS. Before she left home, she complained around October that she wanted to change her wardrobe, I sent money. Getting here, she told me she can't be wearing those clothes, I gave her 100GBP. I gave my card details to add on her phone account for data all in a bid to make her happy and for us to have a peaceful home which we didn't have in Naija because of lack of resources.

See, the kind of advise I need is what to do not to give too much attention to her. Suggesting that I should have a heart-to-heart talk with her won't work because it has never worked. It always leads to heated argument and insults. I won't mind if someone can recommend a good marriage counselor.

Please, I didn't post this for likes and shares. Na solution I dey find abeg

babajeje123:
This is a personal issue that is bothering me. I have decided to post it here with the hope that I would get matured advise here. Besides, people on this platform would be able to advise better since most live in the UK.

I came to the UK last year on student's visa for a 2 year programme. it was challenging upon arrival because the country was on lock down and getting a job was not a walk in the park. When I got one, I had to work many hours during holiday period to pay the debt I owed and also to bring in my family (2 kids + wife). I had to pay for quarantine accommodation because I wanted them to come in December. I got a 2 bed, furnished it, bought other items to make life at least a bit better for my wife. However, she is not appreciative and I am beginning to regret bringing her.

When she arrived, we were all over each other, probably because we've missed each other and all of that. I just noticed that her attitude started changing. I had an idea of what could have brought a change of mood but I didn't want to guess. May be a week after her arrival, I told her about my plan to bring in my mum in April - May so she can help with the kids so that both of us can work as much as we want, knowing fully well that she too will do her masters come next year. She told me it was okay and she had nothing against it. So today, I told her that I would be sending money to my mum by month end so she can starts apply for her passport. She kept quiet for some seconds and said okay. Then, she began to tell me how I always make decisions without carrying her along and how I always kick when she has something better. Then I asked her to gave an instance. She said back at home, she had a certain amount she was giving to her mum every month which she suspended when I was planning to come. She went ahead to tell me that I never gave her mother anything except on few instances since we got married. And then she said, 'what is your plan for my mummy?'

I told her that during the time I was unable to give to her mum, I didn't have and I wasn't even giving to my mum too. However, in December when she with the kids, my mum and her sister were on their way to the airport, I sent 20k to her and sent a message that she should give the sister to help me give her mum as Christmas money. I made it clear that she raised the issue because of my plan for my mum and she denied it. Meanwhile, her mum has a daughter in the UK with her husband. They have tried to bring her in on 2 occasions last year but she was denied. So I told her that we can't bring her mum in now because Home office might think we are desperate and place her on a 10 year ban. She would not have any of my explanations. She just withdrew into her shell.

I left where we were to the room and thought about all my struggle in bringing her and felt terrible. I was wondering if this is not the same woman I told that I worked 21 nights and was still going to lectures from work in order to raise money for their travel. I worked in a food processing company (you can imagine the cold), laundry etc to bring them in. I know the matter has not died and she would still raise it and it may lead to a big fight. We have had the discussion before at home and it led to a terrible fight. Now this. Let me quickly chip it in that when she came and we talked about money for family projects, she initially said each of us should keep our money and contribute a certain percent. The reason she made the suggestion was that she might want to give her mother money and for personal stuff which I may not agree to her dipping hands into family purse. I told her that contributing a quota might not work because of all the things we desire to achieve this year. I told her that what can work is to take a certain amount from her weekly earning for her mum and personal stuff and putting the remaining into the family account and I will also do likewise. She agreed to the suggestion.

Please, how do I handle this matter? I don't want fight because I have a lot to do and I tell you her words can make the meekest man on earth to misbehave. In my life, I have never thought of divorce or separation, but it came to my mind today after the discussion. In fact, I am beginning to look for a job that would take me far away from home as it appears as if we appreciate each other when we are apart.

Now, I can't concentrate on my ICAs. I just hate it when people are trying to manipulate me. It's so painful if you are dealing with someone who doesn't appreciate your efforts. Yesterday, I gave her 85GBP for her DBS. Before she left home, she complained around October that she wanted to change her wardrobe, I sent money. Getting here, she told me she can't be wearing those clothes, I gave her 100GBP. I gave my card details to add on her phone account for data all in a bid to make her happy and for us to have a peaceful home which we didn't have in Naija because of lack of resources.

See, the kind of advise I need is what to do not to give too much attention to her. Suggesting that I should have a heart-to-heart talk with her won't work because it has never worked. It always leads to heated argument and insults. I won't mind if someone can recommend a good marriage counselor.

Please, I didn't post this for likes and shares. Na solution I dey find abeg

Pearlyfaze:



Your mum coming is to help with the kids right?.
Except there are other reasons why you want your mum to come, tell her your mum won't come again.
Infact no more visitor from either family.
Make peace from reign in your home.
Marriage is about the two of you and compromising for each other in other for peace to reign and for the home to work.

Next time before you take decision, discuss it with your wife.
From your post, you only informed your wife about your plans of bringing your mum, she was never part of the decision.

Marriage thrives on communication. So communicate with your wife sire.

Share the child care 50-50.

She is here already and she gats more power than you do. So don't even think of Divorce or separation because na your body go tell you.

I sense Rivalry in your home brother.

Whatever is the case, Brother communication is key.

Talk to each other.

Don't just go and take decisions because you think you are the Head of the family and she is the tail. Na Africa this pattern dey work nor be Obodo oyibo.

Peace.

SamReinvented:

1. Communication: talk to her and let her be aware of how you feel, just as you stated it here. Don’t argue any counter/defence she has (that’s how it turns to fight). Just state your case so that she’s fully aware of how she’s making you feel and don’t argue further.

2. Carry your wife along in your decisions: She already told you what you’re doing that she doesn’t like. So try to correct that. Make decisions together with your wife as your partner, instead of informing her of things after you have decided and closed the case on your own.

Wishing you the best.

giselle237:
this is how it usually is in the beginning.
If only both of you can stand firm, you will thrive.. the marriage will thrive.
It might be early for the talk of your mum coming now to do child care as it has started causing uprising in your home. Or perhaps your wife feels slighted. You both could have sat it out then decide. It can even be rotational. Your mum comes, then her mum comes. Even if her mum has been denied visa twice— it does not equate to her getting a 10 years ban. 10 years ban are usually for cases where false representations, deceit, fake documents and the likes have been used.
It is a marriage and I appreciate that you are seeking help. One thing you both can not allow is the love for a 3rd party eg parents etc be the reason you resent your wife or be the reason your wife resents you.
Both of you are fighting for your mothers to come. No body should come.
Both of you should decide how to cover up your childcare until you both can agree to a compromise!!!!!
I understand that money has to be made to cover up expenses and in turn for the long hurdle and visa fees you ppl are going to have to pay for urselves to remain in the uk . I suggest you speak to your wife. Make her see reasons of the financial burden and not just putting it about your mum coming… that is what she is opposed to seeing that you did not decide this with her.
I wish you the best. Take it easy. Most families had this turmoil in the initial stages of relocation but if you can stand firm and see yourselves as one… then your marriage will stand this test and lots more. I wish you well.

justwise:
@babajeje123

Does your wife and your mum get a long. i mean are they close?

jesmond3945:
hahahqhqh the ordinary life of an immigrant in uk. What you just described is what happens in 80 percent of homes especially those who brought their other half. Apologies to our women, I love you all. However, you must understand the 21 nights you worked to bring her here doesnt matter to her. She is highly entitled. Afterall, you are supposed to bring them.Number two, women think of their family first before the man's, then her kids. You come last. Summary, take charge. When you want to do anything, tell her you want to do this and go ahead. If it would benefit the family.You dont need to explain. Bring your mother to uk whether she likes it or not. After she goes, you bring hers. That joint stuff you want to do please dont do it. Keep your money and buy properties back home if you want to. What your wife needs to see is land documents and not to debate how much or what land to buy. Work hard to appreciate yourself. Dont always please her, do the much you can. Follow your heart.

babajeje123:

I can't really say