Felimax:
You just can't run away from it. Don't be a fool.

So the beautiful late woman who bore you a son does not deserve to be honoured as your wife and you have kept her till death?

Go and do the needful, respect that young woman.
We always tell people to be very careful. Why should a woman stay with you when you know you have not

Can't she come spend some time and go back? Must you keep her like your sex slave? If I format your brain with punchslap, you will go and do the needful.

Nonsense advice

calmness0:
Op, most tribes act like that, you did not pay bride price and you have been with another persons daughter for years, banging morning afternoon night without paying bride price, you never knew death can knock early right? if it were your sister nko, op go and settle her family.

Na only man dey bang woman, woman no dey bang man?.

Dear OP,

Do not allow the villagers and and fear enablers on this platform scare you into paying any nonsense bride price for your late girlfriend. These villagers only do this to create fear and get all kinds of stuff and money from you. They cannot do anything! I love the fact that you are standing your ground in spite of how the foolish people here on Nairaland are trying to pressure you into doing what you have clearly said you will not do. On the issue of your son, they have no right to take him away from you. You are the child's biological father and have automatic sole custody (as the mother has passed away). If you are still not sure, contact a lawyer and maybe get a restraining order against anyone who tries to bully their way to getting your son. They don't want your son because they love him. They want to use him as a threat tool. Is it the cowardly villagers that can barely feed themselves that want to take an additional mouth to feed? Focus now on making the burial arrangements and ignore them. You'll see that they'll eventually slink back into their holes and get tired of disturbing you. Curses na sham. That is another nonsense people and fake pastors use to cause fear and make you do things. All the best!

StilmaVsBorn2w:


What will hard, they kill me?

It seems some demons are battling with you. Try exorcizing those ones first. Obviously you have your mind made up on what to do but out here whining all of us. It's also pretty clear why your mother's own advice failed.

Go and marry the dead body of the woman as demanded by her family. This is something you supposed to have done with ease, but you refused to do. You are now giving reason of economic hardship. If someone marries your sister without doing the traditional rites, would you be happy? I support the family of late lady. A lesson to other men who are doing this rubbish.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Generally, when a woman has a child out of wedlock, the child is presumed to be the woman's by law. In the same way that if a married woman has a child from another man besides her husband, the child is legally the husband's. However, if the unmarried couple had been living together for years in what is called common law marriage, the man could law claim to that child or t least share legal custody should the marriage dissolve. I hope this helps. Good luck!

This op no need advice he Dey form like na we and am go face the Wahala oga carry your pride go front your mouth sharp like this you no use am go pay her bride Prize see man and you want your son which son if na my sis you won’t see that buy again even after you still pay werrey

Sorry for the loss bro




But why not ask them what the bribe price entails first, u can refuse if can't meet up with the demands

Maobichek:


Good day, if you are indeed grieving, you won't respond this way no matter the provocation. You came here for advice so you must be circumspect with your response. There is a way you should have responded to comments and i will be moved to sent you a DM requesting for your account details ( few thousands will still be helpful no matter how little it is), i know you need financial help now.

I once knocked a man of about 80 years down and he was in the hospital for over 2 weeks. He already has heart issue and diabetes so it wasn't easy for me, i spent over 250k in the hospital so i have been in a delicate situation. God will help you but try and be more matured with your comments, thank you.

thank you
you see for you to know how this is painful to me, you understand am going through all the comments on this thread and they are some i just ignore, and they are some that striked me hard.. I just respond to.
because alot of people here don't know my pains.

I borrowed money since February left uncleared amounting to thousand of naira and they are telling me to come and marry her corpse, it's not like 10k or 20k it's like a marriage ceremony.
this people don't understand my plight.

anyway you can choose to help me if you so wish.
thanks

Op is one hell of a rude fellow, very rude

He thinks he is in America!
No worry, your mama warn you you hear, na nairaland own you go hear?

Tradition na tradition o, carry your head and shoulders down! Leave nairaland and meet some elders in your family on how to go on this issues

Gragra no go do anything o! Make hand wey you no know no touch you! This is NIGERIA!!

This op is a mad man, the family of your wife will just get one or two herbs join am together and invoke the spirit of your wife, boom even if you go Yankee you will come back empty handed .no worry, if you no settle this matter traditionally you may keep borrowing all your life , you will never be able to pay, your wife died unhappily , this I have seen

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

It's a curse to marry a corpse. One man's tradition is a curse elsewhere

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

1)You must not marry the corpse, you commit no crime by cohabiting with the lady,it is called "Common Law marriage ".You can burry your wife but before doing that involve the authority (possibly conduct an autopsy to ascertain the cause of her death incase tomorrow, though if they assert otherwise, the onus is on them to prove).
2)That Igbo custom that denies a man the paternity of a child he did not pay the bride price has since been abolished because it is repugnant to natural justice, equity and good conscience.(if judged in a village square you will lose but if taken to high court,you will triumph).
Nothing much to worry though.

Obinna666:

And who is arguing,u see when i said u re a block head,am daring you mister,Bleep you �..am daring the baby in you to try it and see what will happen to ur empty skull,who argues with an idiot

enjoy the ban.

I had of such happening before, the guy married the corpse!

It's your fault, you should have paid her bride price atleast even if you had to borrow when she was alive! Now, you will lose the control of the child who is supposedly yours if you don't marry her completely (doing all the traditional rites) before she's buried.
You can't fight it, they will arrest you if you disobey that! Customary court will jail you!
If you love the child marry the corpse there's nothing there since the loved the lady while she was alive, otherwise let go of the child!

michresakidjo:



Which Yoruba. I have not heard that before nor seen one. Not in my tribe.

the person is from a village in ondo state

StilmaVsBorn2w:

You here for the tribe only?
Or to give me reasonable advise?

U no serious be that. I would assume that it's a cooked up Story.

4ckyou:


the person is from a village in ondo state

Where in Ondo exactly. Coz I live there.

Inosky:
I had of such happening before, the guy married the corpse!

It's your fault, you should have paid her bride price atleast even if you had to borrow when she was alive! Now, you will lose the control of the child who is supposedly yours if you don't marry her completely (doing all the traditional rites) before she's buried.
You can't fight it, they will arrest you if you disobey that! Customary court will jail you!
If you love the child marry the corpse there's nothing there since the loved the lady while she was alive, otherwise let go of the child!

Stop these lies abeg! Na him kill her?

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Sorry it's not necessary, I won't let you lots to turn this to a tribal war.

You have to let us know the tribe for us to help you. Urhobos and Igbos have this as a custom. If you aren't a full fledged Christian then get ready for some spiritual warfare.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

U are self center and selfish , so u prefer ur son than paying his mum dowry wen she was alive. If that was done to ur mum would u be happy. If u don't pay that late woman dowry , her spirit will be evoke to torment any lady that comes your way and u will not have peace. I hate nonesence

It depends on whose name the boy is bearing. Was your boy given birth to in a govt Tertiary hospital? If so then you have nothing to fear. Secondly, if the boy is currently with you then move him to your nuclear relations place and continue the negotiations from there. If they are with your boy then they've got you by the balls.

Inosky:
I had of such happening before, the guy married the corpse!

It's your fault, you should have paid her bride price atleast even if you had to borrow when she was alive! Now, you will lose the control of the child who is supposedly yours if you don't marry her completely (doing all the traditional rites) before she's buried.
You can't fight it, they will arrest you if you disobey that! Customary court will jail you!
If you love the child marry the corpse there's nothing there since the loved the lady while she was alive, otherwise let go of the child!

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

Oh You've used their daughter finish and left her in the morgue for her people to come and carry.

Now it's no longer "my wife" it's now "their daughter"

T0T0fucker:

Simp assz licking niggas.

Op, nor mind this fool!

Nothing him and his family fit do you...nor go borrow money marry death body o.
Infact leave his sister for the mortuary, make you travel out live your life.

When them ready they go carry the dead body

You sound so childish . He should borrow money travel out and dump the corps in the morgue
OP Is not a big deal many have done same , if he want to claim the son he must marry the woman in death and he can not dump the corps with the family just like that. Small pikin full this Nairaland

This is a ridiculous foolish n senseless lie. Only a foolish tribe will make such demand. No Yoruba Hausa Fulani tribe make d mqnd as senseless as that, so own up about the foolishness of your tribe if that's the tribe you are from instead of hiding under your so called most tribe.

calmness0:
Op, most tribes act like that, you did not pay bride price and you have been with another persons daughter for years, banging morning afternoon night without paying bride price, you never knew death can knock early right? if it were your sister nko, op go and settle her family.

All this cos you all know only the most foolish of all tribes will make such hopelessly senseless demand.

ibechris:




U want to start with tribe so that u will start causing confusion in the midst of sane comments.

If u don't have anything to say,pls calm down.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I can't borrow money to marry her corpse, never
The debts I borrowed from her treatment up to a millionaire is still in my neck, haven't even paid dine from it.

Look like that pregnancy na mistake, you for advice her to marry another person all these while. That you impregnated her does not mean you must marry her but if you started the process of marriage, tied her down and stopped somewhere then it's your fault.

StilmaVsBorn2w:


What will hard, they kill me?

Your problem is that you're too hard-headed and difficult to mold and fold.

If you want to keep your son and maintain a decent relationship with his mother's family, better go and marry her corpse.

Don't even argue with them because you're already causing a rift.

Your stubbornness is very evident. With the way you disrespected your mom, one would think that you'd stand by your late ex - in life and death.

Add to that, you're hoarding the information of her tribe, why?

You've suddenly become a Messiah of tribes who cares more about two warring factions than losing his son to a grieving family.

If you truly love your son and you loved his mother, you'll go all out .....

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

so you will rather lose your son than do the right thing, I be Yoruba and for the sake of love you had for her when she's alive do the right thing but give them conditions, you won't drink anything, make sure a police officer or any force man with mufti accomplice you to the event



you've put yourself on a complicated level by not paying her bride price before she died, don't put yourself more on a complicated issues in getting back your son if he's taken in the future

nnaetobi:
Oga op, u get luck say no be my sister, u still get mind answer ur girl friend, s brother no. That family is supposed to have taken u to court because u kidnapped their daughter and killed her, idiot. U dey Bleep but u no sabi marry

I am not surprised. Those who can ask you to marry a corpse are devilish.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Stop being stubborn and do what they ask you to do, it is not a ritual act but just an acknowledgement for you to be able to claim your son.

It is an igbo tradition, you don't have access to any child who's mother you didn't pay her dowry.

Maybe the way the brother said it sounded scary but it is normal, it simply means you bring the things on the list they ask for and they recognize you as their son and the father of their son.

For the sake of your son, go and give them everything they demand for and don't put the boy into unnecessary stress when he grows in to a man.