Offpointng:


Do you know the most annoying thing, I don't want to know how Angelic the girl might look or seem, she'll never agree to it if the siblings were to be from the Husband's side

But I doff my hat to any guy dating a girl with so many siblings sha. If your siblings pass 2 and ur family ain't rich enough, I ain't doing no Poverty Alleviating Relationship. I'm not marrying

u will find ur self in this when u marry the first daughter 🤣🤣🤣

That girl doesn't love u she's only looking for who will carry her family responsibllity bestowed on her

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

I'm going to be very honest with you. That girl is a very self centered person. She doesn't love you, she just trying to use you to give her siblings a better life.

For you to even suggest that 2 of her siblings can stay with you after marrying her and she rejected and insisted that it must be 4 should tell you the kind of person she is. She's even ok that you guys can go your separate ways if you're not ready to accommodate 4 of her siblings. Did you bother to ask her if she's ready to cater for the additional 2 she's advocating for? Is she expecting you to feed people you didn't plan for?

My brother, if you marry that girl, you'll suffer. She won't respect you, she would fight you constantly, she won't shift grounds to do anything for you, whatever decision that must stand in that marriage must come from her. Yours wouldn't even be considered. And worse of all, she and her siblings would abandon you after milking you dry.

My advice, let her be, you're not making any mistake, you're avoiding one. Catering for a wife, a daughter and 4 additional people in this era isn't funny. And if she isn't doing any reasonable job to back you up, believe me, you'll die before your time.

You are a good man.

Your baby mama is on survival mode. She sees herself as a second mother to her siblings. In all sincerity, she also wants her siblings to survive.

But she is a very wicked and selfish person. She doesn't love you. You're just a means to an end. She will kill you prematurely. You will be stagnant for the remaining part of your life.

Do you understand what she is asking you to do?. She is asking you to carter for 7 people in this harsh economy. You owe a duty to your daughter, she I the only person you're obligated by nature to provide for. Not even your baby mama shares this obligation.

It is hard, but I tell you to avoid that girl. She sees you as a means of survival. If she gets someone else tomorrow that accepts to accommodate her siblings, she would not think twice before dumping you.

I will leave you with this words " DO NOT SAY YOU CANNOT STOOP SO LOW BECAUSE YOUR MEANS OF SURVIVAL HAS NOT BEEN THREATENED".

Her means of survival (which is you) is threatened and hence her actions.

Even Dangote won't accommodate such people without them contributing to the welfare of the house.

Abeg no go die for BP , if you kpai , life go still continue.

frozen70:


There is no way you will be forced to carry those her siblings along with you after marriage, but then...

Whats your capacity, can you assist in supporting them from where you are, to wherever they will be

Am sure they are living some where and are feeding too

What kind of help do they need and how can you assist them

Both you and your baby mama should look into this issue

She is feeling for them and now it's affecting the parenting of your child

So find out what kind of help them need and how you guys can assist them together

You can as well pick the last two children

No one knows tomorrow

Lol! Women supporting women indeed..

Assuming the OP is your brother, you would have single handedly chased away the baby mama.. Argue with your keyboard.

End!

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Any option you choose you go regret am!
Just close your eyes and choose one!

Bro if they move in with you, at the end of the day they will be with you for life. Aside your own child feeding and them now imagine you now paying the siblings school fees, clothing etc. Nigga you will remain so poor for life. Better use your brain and stop letting your daughter get the way of your emotions. I have a daughter too, I love her so much that I can lay down my life for her but her mom kept her away from me too just like you. I paid her school fees and when she got to age 4 I took her to court and got access to my child. Cos you love your child don't mean you shouldn't use your brain, your child won't die, infact when you don't give a bleep she will come bringing your child to you.

When new woman enter your life, na you go use hand abandon the daughter you wan kill yourself over. Make una dey vet these women before sleeping with them. I know many lie, but in ninety-nine percent of these cases, we men ignore red flags and go ahead. See market your preek buy you.

[quote author=Tob456 post=124223602][/quote] Op use your tongue to count your teeth!

End!

HER FOUR SIBLINGS DOESN'T NEED TO STAY WITH YOU

YOU CAN RENT A ROOM FOR THEM TO STAY

LIFE ISN'T REALLY COMPLICATED AND HARD....WE MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR OURSELVES

Family matters.. I just free from my own recently.. Women are just too difficult

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Here is the help you need.

Proverbs 21:19 KJV
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

OZIOGU1:
If you have the resources please help them, orphans prayers don't go unnoticed in the eye of God, My wife is an orphan i took her like my blood sister i can tell you that after Almighty God what i am today is largely to the blessing from her, she prays and wish me well every morning before leaving the house, i was in one level for six years, after my marriage to her, i got 4 promotions consecutively. So my brother help and i encourage you to do it with one heart, you will see your life in the next few years

He doesn't have the resources and he made that known. I even doubt if he can take care of himself, wife, child, and wife's 2 siblings effectively as he stated earlier, judging from his occupation as a computer technician aka engineer, and wife being just a fruit seller... Unless they will be using meat to eat once in a week.... I doubt if he even have a house of his own, joining house rent with bills of 5 people......

The average daily feeding amount of an individual is 2,000 Naira (2 feeding daily coz 2k can never afford u decent meal 3 times daily)

2,000×7 = 14,000 Naira × 30 days = 420,000 Naira

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

What us the reason she wants all of them to live with u? A woman that doesn't know how and when to compromise for her husband is going to be problematic.

Never let a woman arm twist u and corner u to have her way.

If She cannot gove a satisfactory reason why all her siblings must stay with u let her go. If she comes to her senses fine and I'd she is adamant that's her cup of tea.

It all depends on what u are willing to tolerate and how much and how often will she keep demanding her way or the highway?

I won't tolerate rubbish.

You wife does not prioritise her marriage.
How can a sensible woman left her marriage over siblings. Honestly she does not deserve that marriage. She would have stayed with her siblings until all of them grow and be independent before she thinks of getting married.
Don't mind her, she is testing you. If you ignore her she will come back

[color=#000099][/color] your words and heart is in resonance with your brain. God bless you

madridguy:
Sincerely, my heart is troubled reading your message. Life is just full of sorrows.

Bro, if you have the resources please allow her to come in with her siblings, as the first born, she's just like mother to them.
There's lot of reward helping orphan.

Nazgul:
I'm going to be very honest with you. That girl is a very self centered person. She doesn't love you, she just trying to use you to give her siblings a better life.

For you to even suggest that 2 of her siblings can stay with you after marrying her and she rejected and insisted that it must be 4 should tell you the kind of person she is. She's even ok that you guys can go your separate ways if you're not ready to accommodate 4 of her siblings. Did you bother to ask her if she's ready to cater for the additional 2 she's advocating for? Is she expecting you to feed people you didn't plan for?

My brother, if you marry that girl, you'll suffer. She won't respect you, she would fight you constantly, she won't shift grounds to do anything for you, whatever decision that must stand in that marriage must come from her. Yours wouldn't even be considered. And worse of all, she and her siblings would abandon you after milking you dry.

My advice, let her be, you're not making any mistake, you're avoiding one. Catering for a wife, a daughter and 4 additional people in this era isn't funny. And if she isn't doing any reasonable job to back you up, believe me, you'll die before your time.

God bless you. You have said it all

my 1 cent though

If your financial capacity can sustain it, go ahead but make sure tomorrow you don't blame the devil or village people.. if you become poor .
Its good to help but don't over do it

Run 4 your life,run from that affairs, u will regret it. Just be responsible to your daughter by giving upkeep monthly or weekly bases. Avoid that ur baby mama for like 3months, don't call or text, she will come to her senses. U talk to one of her friends to reason her. A reasonable friend with common sense will advise her rightly and feel your pain and burden

Your daughter is your daughter and your priority. Leave a reason for her and for the future.
Accept all your wife's siblings to your house if they positive minded people and be in good terms with your wife letting her know what you can and cannot financially carter for.
If your wife doesn't thank or apologize or feel regret for her attitude, then start planning on how to officially divorce her in the future when you would have got plans for your daughter.

Moreso, see them like human resources by engaging them in one business or the order. Your fatherly guidance will come to play in their lives.
God bless you

4ward4:


lol, chief you are over spending. if everything is at home already, the 10k is just for Stew & Soup making . definitely not for major buying.

oga, it's not like I eat what I want o... Infact I notice eating outside is more economical... I eat arriund 11 am, 700naira food, in the night I eat 600 naira food... That's how have been managing my life bro. If I say I should cook. Then it will be more costly... The only time I cook is when I decide to cook soup, that's the only time I. Find cooking more economical, cos I could eat a pot of soup with half paint of garri4_6 times before it finishes.so bro I know what I'm saying, I'm a very frugal person so before I tell u this, I' assure u it's the minimal one could get... Unless u want to be starving yasef.

Don't forget that once you unite with them,your baby mama will have another kid in less than a year.No matter how rich you are, staying with them even amidst plenty will still be an issue,the level of entitlement mentality they will develop for you is till doing press up.
Better let them be, you have your life to live, remember old age is nearby, invest for old age and allow them sort their wahala out

Better you leave your daughter and plan having another from a different mother else soon you'll impregnate 4 sisters

you are your wife's father and mother currently, you could have accepted it earlier and work with your wife, they won't be staying with you forever.

unless your wife is jobless and you are left to take care of them only you.

marriage no easy

Boss, you're too wise. I wonder how some guys manage to plung themselves into financial potpourri because of kag of sense, foresight and especially in the name of marriage.

Op should wait till more realities set in before he understand how he has shortchange himself.

quote author=franchasofficia post=124219932]The number one reason poor or struggling guys in Nigeria remain poor or become poorer is because they marry anyhow, mostly out of pity and emotion claiming its love.



When making critical life decisions like marriage, you must take pity out of it.



Royal families that have all the wealth to carry any amount of load will never allow their Prince or sons to marry into poor family or ordinary family, but poor guys born into poor families will cheerfully go and marry poorer girls born into poorer family and hoping on luck to shine on them to survive the tsunami they started in the name of love. This is why we have too many poor families and hundreds of millions of poor Nigerians today.



As a struggling young man, when you want to marry, marry a help mate, marry a lady doing something that will support you financially. Marriage decisions are not made based on big breast, big buttocks and hot pussy alone, you must consider the financial future and implications. Marry a help mate not a baggage because both of you will end up crashing. At the end, both of you end up not helping the other's situation but rather complicated it. That is why in Igbo dialect, there is an adage that says: "onye akwo n'azu anaghi akwo onye ozo", meaning someone that is being backed cannot back another person or someone that is being carried cannot carry another person. Don't try to save a poor girl out of pity through marriage when you as a guy is still looking for who to help you or how to come out of your own financial and life mess. Always use your wisdom in this life if not, you will end up at the bottom of the ladder of life struggling to survive.





You guys will see mature ladies that are gainfully employed, that will support you in marriage and you will abandon them in the name of she is an evening newspaper and you go and marry small girls that have no financial or career or skill bearing and tomorrow when things become difficult for you guys, you now carry the wahala to Church to disturb God that gave you wisdom and common sense to use to maneuver through life.



Go and read the book of Proverbs on how Bible described a wife, that should give most of you an idea of the kind of ladies to marry.



And to every single lady reading this, try and equip yourself for marriage, get a skill learn a trade, take away pride and learn something and also get a small job and save. Prepare for marriage, don't wait until you marry a rich guy, rich guys are scarce now and the competition to get them is very high. Prepare your mind to support any man you would be getting married to.



To all men reading, help your daughters, sisters, nieces and cousins to have something doing in preparation for marriage. Don't let your single female wards to be empty without any skill or career or something to go into marriage please[/quote]

Ashawoman82:
oga, it's not like I eat what I want o... Infact I notice eating outside is more economical... I eat arriund 11 am, 700naira food, in the night I eat 600 naira food... That's how have been managing my life bro. If I say I should cook. Then it will be more costly... The only time I cook is when I decide to cook soup, that's the only time I. Find cooking more economical, cos I could eat a pot of soup with half paint of garri4_6 times before it finishes.so bro I know what I'm saying, I'm a very frugal person so before I tell u this, I' assure u it's the minimal one could get... Unless u want to be starving yasef.

I have always doubted that theory of eating outside more economical, Even when I was Single.
Buying and sticking the house, I know might be expensive, but it might be once in 3 months.
The 10k is just for weekly maintenance
If you are unmarried, I fully understand your perspective.

Nazgul:
I'm going to be very honest with you. That girl is a very self centered person. She doesn't love you, she just trying to use you to give her siblings a better life.

For you to even suggest that 2 of her siblings can stay with you after marrying her and she rejected and insisted that it must be 4 should tell you the kind of person she is. She's even ok that you guys can go your separate ways if you're not ready to accommodate 4 of her siblings. Did you bother to ask her if she's ready to cater for the additional 2 she's advocating for? Is she expecting you to feed people you didn't plan for?

My brother, if you marry that girl, you'll suffer. She won't respect you, she would fight you constantly, she won't shift grounds to do anything for you, whatever decision that must stand in that marriage must come from her. Yours wouldn't even be considered. And worse of all, she and her siblings would abandon you after milking you dry.

My advice, let her be, you're not making any mistake, you're avoiding one. Catering for a wife, a daughter and 4 additional people in this era isn't funny. And if she isn't doing any reasonable job to back you up, believe me, you'll die before your time.

Chai ooo.. you guys are very intelligent
This thread is brimming with deep emotions.

4ward4:
They will just kill you and keep you stagnant for nothing. proper feeding of yourself and your wife a week ,cost nothing less than 10k. Imagine adding extra 4 grown up adults. Baby expenses is skyrocketing.
Saddly people never appreciate in the nearest future, you like house all of them. Tomorrow your brokenness will be discussed in the open.
Little wonder the Rich have nothing to do with the Poor, not even when it comes to marriage.

My brother, how does 10k feed two people properly for a week in this country?

cococandy:


They are kids lol.

Probably the girl herself would be very young too. OP come and tell us how old your baby mother is.

My guess is 19. Chai.

frankyychiji:
My brother, how does 10k feed two people properly for a week in this country?

Guess I was mis quoted. That should be for petti things needed in making a meal. I assumed raw foods stuffs should be made available in bulk buying.