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Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Am I Doing Bad As A Father And Husband / Is It Wrong Or I Am Over Reacting / My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by osazsky(m): 3:19pm On Jul 05, 2023
Thurmieee:
Go visiting and use style to carry your baby.
Women do that alot so nothing bad in doing the same.
Just be ready to drag it with her and have evidence in the police station.
I can imagine how malnourished she'll be. Dirty environment and sub standard school
a 7 months old Already in sch
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Microwhy: 3:20pm On Jul 05, 2023
Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help
Oga! Even though they're not orphans, marrying first-born always come with very big trouble.
Rent a house for them maybe in the fourth street and assist whenever you can.
Even though my wife and her siblings are not orphans, its fvcking not interesting and exhausting having them around. A mature sibling of 22yo still want to give attitude in your own house. I change from introvert to extra-extrovert because I married a first-born.
Just be prepare to be a senior brother.
They'll not respect your marriage and they'll never respect your privacy and space. They'll see you as an outsider in your own house and you will always fight and struggle to claim your home subconsciously. The wife will concentrate more on the siblings and make you sometimes feel as if they're just using in their family.
Alot of things will crop up but just choose wisely.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by deavicky(m): 3:21pm On Jul 05, 2023
Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help
the only way you can get a good egg is to take good care of the hen.
It is very bad that your only concern is ur child what about the mother.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by easzypeaszy(m): 3:22pm On Jul 05, 2023
Get a separate place fr dem not too far frm u...be buyin dem food mnthly...If u hv the means oo and if dey are above 18yrs my brthr u dont hv much business wt dem.
Rent a room fr dem...monthly buy foodstuff of lik 20k to 30k if u gt the power..Ur wife dey craxe fr der
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by sonofsteven: 3:22pm On Jul 05, 2023
madridguy:
Sincerely, my heart is troubled reading your message. Life is just full of sorrows.

Bro, if you have the resources please allow her to come in with her siblings, as the first born, she's just like mother to them.
There's lot of reward helping orphan.

Bad advice

What happened to renting an apartment for them somewhere else and paying rent if the resources are there?

Her whole family living with them is a bad idea and anyone who doesn't put herself or himself first,carry loads to themselves is not someone to rely on, one day you have to put with the nonsense from the siblings and when you complain, she gets mad or start misbehaving


Remember them go dey monitor you and gossip around, becareful op don't marry out of pity or anything

It's very dangerous

1 Like

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by tonididdy(m): 3:23pm On Jul 05, 2023
... I don't like this one bit





Not even the feeding part... The house just becomes crowdy, old schooled and less romantic.
Only old people do sturvs Like this!
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by jude33084(m): 3:23pm On Jul 05, 2023
Tob456:




Who were the sisters staying with

Two were staying with her and the youngest two with her aunty. At the moment they are all staying together.


And what is the age group of the sisters??

They are underage 17,15, 13 and 11 years old.









Direct the 2 elder ones to my side wink
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Watinhapen(m): 3:24pm On Jul 05, 2023
Maybe you want to die prematurely because you think you have a daughter that needs you. Your daughter needs you alright but you can be in her life from a distance. How will you even think of being with a woman and her 4 sisters in your house? Just try it and see what becomes of your life. Anyway, if you want to sacrifice your life for your daughter, you can do what you’re considering.

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Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by LARRYOBRAIN(m): 3:24pm On Jul 05, 2023
Good, if you are ready for the trouble and bear the responsibilities.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by President2001(m): 3:25pm On Jul 05, 2023
Don't try it please it will hunt you seriously
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Pque(m): 3:26pm On Jul 05, 2023
Offpointng:


Bro with a court order he can have custody of the child if he's ready to take her to custody or partial custody. And a proof is rendering evidences she doesn't have resources enough to cater for the child and most importantly the child's mental health especially staying amongst a family that's Nuclear but yet Extended sad

He wants to take custody of a small baby? Throughout the early stage of the baby's life, the court will prefer the baby to be with the mother, if the mom is also contending custody with him.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by thinkmoney(m): 3:28pm On Jul 05, 2023
Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help
If they no leave with una dey go die?
Arrange one room somewhere else for all of them then
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by ejieddy: 3:28pm On Jul 05, 2023
Just let her go. Try to be a part of your daughters life. Trust God to marry well and your daughter can come live with you. Your new wife could be a wonderful mother to your daughter.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by liamjakes247: 3:29pm On Jul 05, 2023
My brother, you'll regret this... Only take responsibilities for your action not for another. 4 girls? your house will become a brothel later on. There's nothing as having your peace of mind, she'll control the hell out of you and when she's done, you'll be surprised what will become of your daughter. A controlling woman don't care about how other feel, she'll always want even. And please do a DNA test to confirm if shes truly your child

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Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Pque(m): 3:29pm On Jul 05, 2023
eteebanky1:
4 of her siblings?? Too much oo

Meaning you'll be feeding 6 mouths excluding you three times a Day in this present economy

No go area, but if you know you're capable, You Can go ahead which I won't advise you to do.

Go to court, collect your daughter and discard the self centered woman and bunch of liabilities

What about his own immediate family's expenses, perhaps he has younger or elderly ones looking up to him. Should he sacrifice the needs of his immediate family for the lady and her siblings.

1 Like

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Pque(m): 3:31pm On Jul 05, 2023
eteebanky1:
4 of her siblings?? Too much oo

Meaning you'll be feeding 6 mouths excluding you three times a Day in this present economy

No go area, but if you know you're capable, You Can go ahead which I won't advise you to do.

Go to court, collect your daughter and discard the self centered woman and bunch of liabilities

He can't take custody of a baby, the court will always prefer a baby to be with the mother during its younger years.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by denko(m): 3:33pm On Jul 05, 2023
This is a difficult situation, as an African but please tell your daughter's mother/your wife that you can help them from a far try that first then thereafter you can look into her request.
Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by chudez0147(m): 3:35pm On Jul 05, 2023
That's not true. They should be working to support him.
Davidave:
Na responsibility go kill you. RIP in advance
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by babtoundey(m): 3:37pm On Jul 05, 2023
Hmmn.
Based on personal experience, I will say there's nothing bad in letting your wife siblings stay with you or live in the same roof with your daughter as long as they don't constitute negative energy.

My mum is the first child of her parents and nearly three of her younger sisters lived with us. My dad is a traveling type same as my mum who on her own part return after three days.
Her sisters were our mothers. They practically provided necessary support and assistance we couldn't get from our parents. Now we are all grown, and my younger brother who was nursed by my mum's younger sister under my father's roof could hardly spend a whole week without seeing her.

So, if you can cater for their needs (with the support of your wife) and if you're sure they are not negative influence let them in. It's a win-win game for you, your daughter, your wife and her siblings.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Ingocof(m): 3:38pm On Jul 05, 2023
Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help


This is difficult, no doubt about that, but my advice for you is if you have the capacity kindly get those siblings an apartment to live by themselves and help them with foods but to marry a woman with her four siblings living in a house, haaaaa you are on a long thing.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by nnamdi640: 3:38pm On Jul 05, 2023
I know things are hard, try to understand her, you said that their parents are gone and she is the oldest, that means she is like father and mother to her junior ones. Who knows tomorrow, one of those sisters might be the one that will uplift you and your family.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by yommygift15: 3:38pm On Jul 05, 2023
An award or MOST CONFUSED STORY goes to...the writer
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by lapintoz: 3:39pm On Jul 05, 2023
Very well said. In addition, labour for the next 30 years, they will not appreciate this.

You have just one daughter with her. Try your best to support her. If you agree with your wife request, your daughter will more likely suffer more as the resources will have to be managed to go round.

Stay clear, the woman doesn't love you. Only using you.....with your daughter as the bait.


Nazgul:
I'm going to be very honest with you. That girl is a very self centered person. She doesn't love you, she just trying to use you to give her siblings a better life.

For you to even suggest that 2 of her siblings can stay with you after marrying her and she rejected and insisted that it must be 4 should tell you the kind of person she is. She's even ok that you guys can go your separate ways if you're not ready to accommodate 4 of her siblings. Did you bother to ask her if she's ready to cater for the additional 2 she's advocating for? Is she expecting you to feed people you didn't plan for?

My brother, if you marry that girl, you'll suffer. She won't respect you, she would fight you constantly, she won't shift grounds to do anything for you, whatever decision that must stand in that marriage must come from her. Yours wouldn't even be considered. And worse of all, she and her siblings would abandon you after milking you dry.

My advice, let her be, you're not making any mistake, you're avoiding one. Catering for a wife, a daughter and 4 additional people in this era isn't funny. And if she isn't doing any reasonable job to back you up, believe me, you'll die before your time.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by jideisaacs: 3:39pm On Jul 05, 2023
If you have the means, let them live with you but accept many challenges and patience from you.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by jideisaacs: 3:39pm On Jul 05, 2023
If you have the means, let them live with you but ecpect many challenges and patience from you.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by jideisaacs: 3:40pm On Jul 05, 2023
If you have the means, let them live with you but expect many challenges and patience from you.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by tunde1200(m): 3:42pm On Jul 05, 2023
madridguy:
Sincerely, my heart is troubled reading your message. Life is just full of sorrows.

Bro, if you have the resources please allow her to come in with her siblings, as the first born, she's just like mother to them.
There are a lot of reward helping orphans.

That your last paragraph says a lot about Islamic teachings.
Though I like this idea, the lady has no feelings for you financially and she did not have respect for her privacy.
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by paey30c(f): 3:47pm On Jul 05, 2023
Tob456:




Who were the sisters staying with

Two were staying with her and the youngest two with her aunty. At the moment they are all staying together.


And what is the age group of the sisters??

They are underage 17,15, 13 and 11 years old.


Is very sad they lost their parents at a tender age
Your baby mama is carrying all dis responsibilities on her shoulder,I understand the angle she’s coming from, if you’ve the resources,a spacious house to contain all of them pls do and only God will reward you an also send them to boarding schools so that the get to be home only during holidays.




Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by pocohantas(f): 3:51pm On Jul 05, 2023
I am speechless. Heyyyy!
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Mummyimbecile(m): 3:52pm On Jul 05, 2023
It depends on how old her siblings are...
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Blackman101: 3:52pm On Jul 05, 2023
Ab025:
How can you agree to two of your wife's sisters living with you after wedding, together with your wife....?

This is marriage and not family meeting or reunion o..

By the way, Don't they have where they are presently staying...can't they remain there after the wedding?

For your wife-to-be to even utter that statement sef.....I doubt if she really likes you or your ability to "provide".

#My own thoughts sha...

two or four

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