pickabeau1:

no.. you belong to the all men are cheats and bad except my family members camp

Hehehehehehehehe
Hahahahahahahhaa
Hohohoohohohohoo

BurntToast?

Which old member r u

Pikkabooboo,.........fresh from the oven

Kanwulia: HA!
Good marriage na long war with MANY BATTLES O! You can't claim victory till you get divorced from MAN OR YOUR GOD!!!!

That is because the good times are short-lived, while the bad times become ETERNAL CRISES with long-term irreparable damages!
As soon as you boast/rejoice about how great your marriage might be. . . . You will regret it, because you never know what the other party is up to!
A marriage is only "good" for a second, but can turn SOUR for decades! It only takes one unsavoury encounter to ERASE all the good times!

Safe to keep quiet and enjoy the good times AS PRIVATE TOTS!
When the bad times hit, it is easier to cry out because you may DIE IN SILENCE!

Rejoicing silently in good times cannot kill you because the world can see you are happy!
Huuuuuhn! But if you are miserable and keep it to yourself. . . . . YOU DIE!!!

BurntToast: Pikkabooboo,.........fresh from the oven

Hmmm ...I doubt that ....

pickabeau1:

Hmmm ...I doubt that ....

Stop doubting and believe
Don't be like Thomas who refused to believe without direct personal experience

BurntToast:
Stop doubting and believe
Don't be like Thomas who refused to believe without direct personal experience

I think I know u
U know I know u

That's your opinion.
Skewed as it is,it's still yours. So you're entitled to it.

pickabeau1:

no.. you belong to the all men are cheats and bad except my family members camp

cococandy: That's your opinion.
Skewed as it is,it's still yours. So you're entitled to it.

Just as yours too is skewed...

Heck...that's life

What actually makes a good marriage? What is the key factor? Is it tolerance from both sides, is it the ever slowly elusive submissiveness of the wife? Is it the undying faithfulness of the husband?

What made all those marriages of past generations last as long as they did? And don't dare say they were suffering in silence, that is pure bullshit. You were not there so you cannot conjecture who was feeling what. Why did the marriages of the past last longer than they do now??

5minsmadness:
What actually makes a good marriage? What is the key factor?

I'll tell you this;

Marry the right person, and you won't even have to discuss most things - and most of the issues that seem to blight marriages these days won't ever crop up, let alone become issues. And the issues you do have will only rarely be character/behavioural.

Foundation! Foundation!! Foundation!!!


TV

^{**How to find that person is the subject of my forthcoming book **}

True. Most of the marriages around me are great solid marriages and good examples to follow, some are bad but in a lot of the cases it was actually predictably because some things were glaring yet the spouses went in because of desperation or hoping to change their spouses.

I was raised in a good solid marriage till God called one of them home yet years later He has refused to remarry due to how close they were.

My siblings all have good solid marriages, i have too, most of my friends also have.

However good marriages kike good news doesnt sell, even here when one starts to talk he or she is shut down and accused of being a liar, aspersions are cast on the relationship and the spouse.

Marry the right person marry for the right reason. Dont just marry because others are getting married. Marry someonw who shares your view of life, knows what he or she wanta, has a clear plan and is willing to help you build and grow a life.

Marriage comes with challenges being with the right one makes those challenges easier.

For me one who cheats while dating is a no- no, who disrespects you or who takes you for granted. It wont get better, he or she wont change. Its rare, of he or she cant be faithful in little they wont be faithful in much.

If people stop being desperate and marrying bad spouses they will have no choice but to adjust but you see women 5 or 6 fighting over 1 man who exposes them all to stds. One will actually be claiming main chick because he doesnt sleep with her with a con- dom.

I will always shout to the highest that not all Nigerian men cheat, not all of them are bad because even though i have had bad relationships i had good examples of men around to keep my faith up.

I always say the good ones are too busy taking care of their famikies and hustling the bad ones are all over in joints and blogs shouting all men cheat.

Singles have standard it is not a crime,better marry late and right than rush to marry. Dont rush in with obvious flaws expecting magic.
A good marriage is a giftfrom God a bad one can lead one to hell because of bitterness, unforgivness and resentment which builds up over the years

I was reading through a great post here where great marriages and spouses were being celebrated and a guy stated how much he loved his family so much that he would proceed to his wife's shop after work and help her out, hang out and play with his son instead of hanging out at bars and joints.

He was attacked called weak, called even irresponsible.

I also read one who said the men she knows do not cheat and was savagely attacked. They raised questions on people's intergrity they never met all because someone said they dont cheat.

Its pathetic how low we have sunk judging others by their own low standards. Marriage is a beautiful thing, do it right

5minsmadness:
What actually makes a good marriage? What is the key factor? Is it tolerance from both sides, is it the ever slowly elusive submissiveness of the wife? Is it the undying faithfulness of the husband?

What made all those marriages of past generations last as long as they did? And don't dare say they were suffering in silence, that is pure bullshit. You were not there so you cannot conjecture who was feeling what. Why did the marriages of the past last longer than they do now??

Pure genuine undiluted love from both ends

(Not the cupboard type o)

On another thread a poster asked the question if all men cheat? She gave an example of a solid marriage: her parents and instead of seeing what lessons we can learn from it as usual her fathers intergrity was being questioned. That is the foundation for all the sob story marriages we read.

When we easily belive that all men cheat then find it hard to believe when one says some man they know doesnt we are destroying the foundation of marriage which is trust and fidelity. We make it okay for people who have not achieved the level of maturity marriage requires, the ability to say i make thia vow and regardless of what temptation i face i stand by it not those who say " well every man is doing it, i can eat mu cake and have it and not bare any consequence".

If we cannot even believe fidelity the bedrock of a sane marriage is possible then we should not be prepared to hear good marriage tales.
If a woman comes here to say " my husband cheated " 90 percent will believe it without asking for proof but if a woman comes to say my husband does not cheat, she will be drilled and queried made to seem like a lying bragard. In fact by the time some nairalanders are done with her if she doesn't have a good head on her shoulders mareiage don dey scatter be that because they will plant extreme seeds of doubt in her mind so much that if the husband who she will normally pet when he comes home late due to traffic or deadline target comes home late next time she will attack him and accuse him of cheating.

If he normally gives colleagues rides that one go stop because the seed of doubt has been plantes he is now a suspected criminal waiting to be caught and convicted.

One lady called me one day with so much glee in her voice waiting to do " breaking news" she said she saw mu husband with 3 ladies in the car heading to a joint, i asked her if she looked well at the 3 ladies she said no, i said well i was in the car and we were not going to a joint but going to pay condolences and had picked some of his colleagues headed same way. She still instisted that it may not have been the same time that if i had been in the car she would have known. Unfortunately dor her that day my car was bad so i has used hubby's car all day and only went to pick him up so we could go pay the visit. When i told her that she was so upset and hung up without saying bye only to go and tell mutual friends that i am living in a lie covering for my husband refusing to accept reality lol.

That is how bad society has become it is easier to believe everyone is on our own low standard than raise our standard amd choose to be better

aisha2:
On another thread a poster asked the question if all men cheat? She gave an example of a solid marriage: her parents and instead of seeing what lessons we can learn from it as usual her fathers intergrity was being questioned. That is the foundation for all the sob story marriages we read.

When we easily belive that all men cheat then find it hard to believe when one says some man they know doesnt we are destroying the foundation of marriage which is trust and fidelity. We make it okay for people who have not achieved the level of maturity marriage requires, the ability to say i make thia vow and regardless of what temptation i face i stand by it not those who say " well every man is doing it, i can eat mu cake and have it and not bare any consequence".

If we cannot even believe fidelity the bedrock of a sane marriage is possible then we should not be prepared to hear good marriage tales.
If a woman comes here to say " my husband cheated " 90 percent will believe it without asking for proof but if a woman comes to say my husband does not cheat, she will be drilled and queried made to seem like a lying bragard. In fact by the time some nairalanders are done with her if she doesn't have a good head on her shoulders mareiage don dey scatter be that because they will plant extreme seeds of doubt in her mind so much that if the husband who she will normally pet when he comes home late due to traffic or deadline target comes home late next time she will attack him and accuse him of cheating.

If he normally gives colleagues rides that one go stop because the seed of doubt has been plantes he is now a suspected criminal waiting to be caught and convicted.

One lady called me one day with so much glee in her voice waiting to do " breaking news" she said she saw mu husband with 3 ladies in the car heading to a joint, i asked her if she looked well at the 3 ladies she said no, i said well i was in the car and we were not going to a joint but going to pay condolences and had picked some of his colleagues headed same way. She still instisted that it may not have been the same time that if i had been in the car she would have known. Unfortunately dor her that day my car was bad so i has used hubby's car all day and only went to pick him up so we could go pay the visit. When i told her that she was so upset and hung up without saying bye only to go and tell mutual friends that i am living in a lie covering for my husband refusing to accept reality lol.

That is how bad society has become it is easier to believe everyone is on our own low standard than raise our standard amd choose to be better

God bless you my Sister, you 've said it all.
Some people here fail to understand that, because in their life they have either cheated with a married man/woman even as a youth..or against their partner as umarried people.
They have sown the seed of cheating in their life and so they can not give out what they dont have, thus what they now manifest is cheating.
They don't have and know nothing like Honesty, so they find it hard to believe there is such.

This is one of the best threads I have read on nairaland in a while. #Following...

TV am waiting for the thread on how to spot the right one

aisha2:
I was reading through a great post here where great marriages and spouses were being celebrated and a guy stated how much he loved his family so much that he would proceed to his wife's shop after work and help her out, hang out and play with his son instead of hanging out at bars and joints.

He was attacked called weak, called even irresponsible.

I also read one who said the men she knows do not cheat and was savagely attacked. They raised questions on people's intergrity they never met all because someone said they dont cheat.

Its pathetic how low we have sunk judging others by their own low standards. Marriage is a beautiful thing, do it right

I know a few men who do not cheat and are enjoying their marriages to the fullest but when I mention it in public people disbelieve me and say there is no such thing, it surprises me really

Yea, if u want a good marriage it usually starts as a single person like Reverend Munroe's omelette principle;
You take a good egg and a bad deffective egg and crack it together, no matter how good the other egg is, the bad one will always win thereby making the omelette useless.
His advice to singles;

WATCH THE KIND OF PERSON YOU GET DOWN WITH BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU ARE, IF YOU MARRY SOMEONE WITH CRACKS IN CHARACTER(JUST LIKE THE BAD EGG) YOU WILL BE MISERABLE

blueberryp:
Yea, if u want a good marriage it usually starts as a single person like Reverend Munroe's omelette principle;
You take a good egg and a bad deffective egg and crack it together, no matter how good the other egg is, the bad one will always win thereby making the omelette useless.
His advice to singles;

WATCH THE KIND OF PERSON YOU GET DOWN WITH BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU ARE, IF YOU MARRY SOMEONE WITH CRACKS IN CHARACTER(JUST LIKE THE BAD EGG) YOU WILL BE MISERABLE

I agree with this 100%

aisha2:
I was reading through a great post here where great marriages and spouses were being celebrated and a guy stated how much he loved his family so much that he would proceed to his wife's shop after work and help her out, hang out and play with his son instead of hanging out at bars and joints.

He was attacked called weak, called even irresponsible.

I also read one who said the men she knows do not cheat and was savagely attacked. They raised questions on people's intergrity they never met all because someone said they dont cheat.

Its pathetic how low we have sunk judging others by their own low standards. Marriage is a beautiful thing, do it right

You don't even need to praise your spouse to get attacked on here.

I remember seeing a post from a guy appreciating his wife and baby daughter. What did he get online for his efforts?

~ His wife is too fat

~ She looks older than him

~ She looks bleached

And a lot of other tosh. I felt sorry for him and couldn't help thinking he could have saved himself the unwarranted insults on his family. Nairaland is a hostile forum to happy families and marriages.

Only those with some bitter experience to share thrive here, so they get the same mundane advice about wearing zebra striped pants and bra, sexing their partner to oblivion and of course, the usual stale Nollywood gist about dry fasting for 40 days and 40 nights + bathing naked at Lagos bar beach whilst burying half a dozen red candles and swallowing gallons of Olive Oil on their "pastor's" say-so.

Nah, this is the joint for frightful, spooky, marriage stories with bottle breaking husbands and ddick cutting wives...

EfemenaXY:

You don't even need to praise your spouse to get attacked on here.
I remember seeing a post from a guy appreciating his wife and baby daughter. What did he get online for his efforts?
~ His wife is too fat
~ She looks older than him
~ She looks bleached
And a lot of other tosh. I felt sorry for him and couldn't help thinking he could have saved himself the unwarranted insults on his family. Nairaland is a hostile forum to happy families and marriages.
Only those with some bitter experience to share thrive here, so they get the same mundane advice about wearing zebra striped pants and bra, sexing their partner to oblivion and of course, the usual stale Nollywood gist about dry fasting for 40 days and 40 nights + bathing naked at Lagos bar beach whilst burying half a dozen red candles and swallowing gallons of Olive Oil on their "pastor's" say-so.
Nah, this is the joint for frightful, spooky, marriage stories with bottle breaking husbands and ddick cutting wives...

Dead. Hahahahahaaa broken bottle husbands and dickk cutring wives.
Goodluck to them jare.
Now if you have a good marriage self it seems worse than the almighty " feminisim " on nairaland. Those who have walk around egg shells with their spouses will attack you and be backed up by those who dont want to do the work for a good marriage
Two topics are most hated on nairaland feminisim and good marriages

I remember the post you are talking about. If he had said his wife left him during trying times they would have enjoyed it better and proceeded on their verbal masturbat- ion attacking the woman and calling all women whores and gold diggers so how dare his wofe spoil their fix for that day by being a good caring wife who stood by him in his hour of despair

aisha2:


Dead. Hahahahahaaa broken bottle husbands and dickk cutring wives.
Goodluck to them jare.
Now if you have a good marriage self it seems worse than the almighty " feminisim " on nairaland. Those who have walk around egg shells with their spouses will attack you and be backed up by those who dont want to do the work for a good marriage
Two topics are most hated on nairaland feminisim and good marriages

I remember the post you are talking about. If he had said his wife left him during trying times they would have enjoyed it better and proceeded on their verbal masturbat- ion attacking the woman and calling all women whores and gold diggers so how dare his wofe spoil their fix for that day by being a good caring wife who stood by him in his hour of despair

Sigh...

On point as usual. You know, sometimes it's just better to watch and read from the sidelines as they fall over themselves criticizing.

What many on here don't realize is that what might work for Mr A definitely won't work for Mr B and vice versa. Everyone's got their different priorities, wants, and expectations from their partners and union. But the most important things are love, understanding, and maturity.

It's never going to be plain-sailing living with someone else as no two people are exactly the same. However, with a clear understanding of these differences and maturity displayed when resolving issues, the couple(s) in question are halfway there. Throw in love, and their union becomes virtually unshakable.

As we grow older, we understand each other better. I know for a fact that things that would have ticked me off when I first got married don't do so now. It's all about making compromises where necessary for the betterment of one's marriage / union. When each spouse sets out to uphold the other no matter what, why won't they have a happy marriage?

blueberryp:
Yea, if u want a good marriage it usually starts as a single person like Reverend Munroe's omelette principle;
You take a good egg and a bad deffective egg and crack it together, no matter how good the other egg is, the bad one will always win thereby making the omelette useless.
His advice to singles;

WATCH THE KIND OF PERSON YOU GET DOWN WITH BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU ARE, IF YOU MARRY SOMEONE WITH CRACKS IN CHARACTER(JUST LIKE THE BAD EGG) YOU WILL BE MISERABLE

Lol, I got goosebumps reading that.

5minsmadness:

My sista the.thing TIRE me no be small. Everyday one wahala or the other. A person can read all these problems and become depressed.


@Godmystrength I seeee u. Good evening Ma'm.

God knows.

5minsmadness:

Damn it, this is not true! There are marriages where the bad times are short lived and they have it good most of the time!


The idea is not really to boast per se, there are a lot of folks who write lovey dovey stuff on Facebook about their spouses but in reality their marriage is a perpetual wrestlemania.

The idea is having trust in your spouse. Yeah sometimes that trust is abused but there are also spouses that safeguard that trust!

"Perpetual Wrestlemania", #LWKMD

aisha2:


Dead. Hahahahahaaa broken bottle husbands and dickk cutring wives.
Goodluck to them jare.
Now if you have a good marriage self it seems worse than the almighty " feminisim " on nairaland. Those who have walk around egg shells with their spouses will attack you and be backed up by those who dont want to do the work for a good marriage
Two topics are most hated on nairaland feminisim and good marriages

I remember the post you are talking about. If he had said his wife left him during trying times they would have enjoyed it better and proceeded on their verbal masturbat- ion attacking the woman and calling all women whores and gold diggers so how dare his wofe spoil their fix for that day by being a good caring wife who stood by him in his hour of despair

LOL!

bukatyne:


More stories

And please don't add a man was cheating and after 20yrs repented. It is still a sob story

Exactly what I hope not to read .

TV01:

I'll tell you this;

Marry the right person, and you won't even have to discuss most things - and most of the issues that seem to blight marriages these days won't ever crop up, let alone become issues. And the issues you do have will only rarely be character/behavioural.

Foundation! Foundation!! Foundation!!!


TV

^{**How to find that person is the subject of my forthcoming book **}

Really?

blueberryp:
TV am waiting for the thread on how to spot the right one

- I said book! There'll be a special signed copy for you.

TV01:

I'll tell you this;
Marry the right person, and you won't even have to discuss most things - and most of the issues that seem to blight marriages these days won't ever crop up, let alone become issues. And the issues you do have will only rarely be character/behavioural.
Foundation! Foundation!! Foundation!!!
TV
^{**How to find that person is the subject of my forthcoming book **}

maclatunji:

Really?

Really.

If you have any questions I'm available on a consult basis. If you have any comments, I'm keen to hear them.


TV

TV01:

- I said book! There'll be a special signed copy for you

TV

awww... Thank you

But ermmmm.......hope it will be free too

Stillfire:


Lol, I got goosebumps reading that.

why are you scared or are u getting down with a person of questionable character in the hopes that you'll change him/her?