Bro,tough time don't last,tough people do.

It might not be of best for now,but trust me,its better than doing nothing..

You got to swallow pride,and wait till things gets around.

beeevan:




Hmmmm, there is no harm in trial abi, i pray God provides a means for them ASAP.

Amen

Thanks for all the comments and contributions.The irony of it all is that both of us are graduates and i feel somehow seeing her going for house help and splitting the family from being together.Thats why i am a bit against such job and was advising her if there is any way we can find alternative just with time.

Both graduates. This is really tough and sad,i wish i can be of help. God please dont forget your children.

Well, firstly, you have to swallow your pride. I mean it, even to your wife. Humble yourself now before her (trust me on this, everyone will scream at you but I'm speaking from experience). Tell her you love her for her sacrifice and you thank her for this (she's giving up her kids so the family has a fighting chance). You are a team, screw this head of blah blah, YOU ARE A TEAM. Your weaknesses are her strengths, her weaknesses are your strength.

Good, that's out of the way. Let her take the job. Since she's the provider for now, do not dictate to her, instead ask her to come with a savings plan for the next 6 months to 1 year (most people won't take house helps for less than a year). With that plan, both of you sit down and discuss it, mull it over, turn it up and down, make sure there's extra expenditure. You two have to be united.

Tell her to impress her employers, love their kids like hers, work like she's the oga's mother. Not easy, but do it.

You, get a place to sleep, that's the most important thing.

Now, you are going to dust up your CV, look for some trusted people here on NL and pm them, ask them to help you with your CV.

There's a ministry called Esther Breakthrough, they usually place people with jobs in small businesses you may not have access to, go and join them. Go to the nearest business hub with your new CV and knock on doors politely, tell each office you are a hardworking man seeking employment (DO NOT BEG FOR MONEY OR BRING OUT YOUR SOB STORY AND START TELLING THEM ABOUT YOUR HARDSHIP. Everyone has a tough story nowadays). Be professional, speak to the staff nicely. A lot of jobs are available but not advertised. You will get a job you never heard of, because you applied methods that were different.

While you're looking for a job, spend your waking hour reading up the newspapers and financial sections of NL. BE INFORMED ABOUT EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. People pay for knowledge or skills. You have to be prepared when Opportunity comes knocking.

Part of the money needed for your waka is from your wife (see why you have to be united? Because some days, her madam will act like a crazy person and she will be so exhausted, that when you come for some funds and you act all "Naija man", your wife's patience will snap, like any normal human being would).

I'm telliny you what to do, because my sister's first nanny to her kids was in your exact same position and the family is progressing now because they were similarly advised by my mum, my favourite nanny as a child was in your wife's position and now she's a graduate with a family and guess who helped her husband get a good job? A seed of years ago is still bearing fruit.

Please take this as a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to sow an amazing growth into your life.

^^^Nice one!

Onegai:
Well, firstly, you have to swallow your pride. I mean it, even to your wife. Humble yourself now before her (trust me on this, everyone will scream at you but I'm speaking from experience). Tell her you love her for her sacrifice and you thank her for this (she's giving up her kids so the family has a fighting chance). You are a team, screw this head of blah blah, YOU ARE A TEAM. Your weaknesses are her strengths, her weaknesses are your strength.

Good, that's out of the way. Let her take the job. Since she's the provider for now, do not dictate to her, instead ask her to come with a savings plan for the next 6 months to 1 year (most people won't take house helps for less than a year). With that plan, both of you sit down and discuss it, mull it over, turn it up and down, make sure there's extra expenditure. You two have to be united.

Tell her to impress her employers, love their kids like hers, work like she's the oga's mother. Not easy, but do it.

You, get a place to sleep, that's the most important thing.

Now, you are going to dust up your CV, look for some trusted people here on NL and pm them, ask them to help you with your CV.

There's a ministry called Esther Breakthrough, they usually place people with jobs in small businesses you may not have access to, go and join them. Go to the nearest business hub with your new CV and knock on doors politely, tell each office you are a hardworking man seeking employment (DO NOT BEG FOR MONEY OR BRING OUT YOUR SOB STORY AND START TELLING THEM ABOUT YOUR HARDSHIP. Everyone has a tough story nowadays). Be professional, speak to the staff nicely. A lot of jobs are available but not advertised. You will get a job you never heard of, because you applied methods that were different.

While you're looking for a job, spend your waking hour reading up the newspapers and financial sections of NL. BE INFORMED ABOUT EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. People pay for knowledge or skills. You have to be prepared when Opportunity comes knocking.

Part of the money needed for your waka is from your wife (see why you have to be united? Because some days, her madam will act like a crazy person and she will be so exhausted, that when you come for some funds and you act all "Naija man", your wife's patience will snap, like any normal human being would).

I'm telliny you what to do, because my sister's first nanny to her kids was in your exact same position and the family is progressing now because they were similarly advised by my mum, my favourite nanny as a child was in your wife's position and now she's a graduate with a family and guess who helped her husband get a good job? A seed of years ago is still bearing fruit.

Please take this as a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to sow an amazing growth into your life.

. @Op heed dis advice !....dnt I jst luv u Onegai u re the reason y I always log on here most days jst to 'milk' 4rm your wealth of wisdom. I thank God 4u and pray his blessings and Grace be sufficient 4u

Sophyrocks:


Amen o. #Sobs#

And people are out spending millions everyday on frivolities.

If it's the money they worked for, I believe they have every right to spend it anyhow they like. No one should be castigated or made to feel bad for spending their money on "frivolities" because there are poor people or people that cannot afford such frivolities in the world.

kandiikane:


If it's the money they worked for, I believe they have every right to spend it anyhow they like. No one should be castigated or made to feel bad for spending their money on "frivolities" because there are poor people or people that cannot afford such frivolities in the world.

So the fact that they worked for it means they cannot render help to others? Is there something wrong with someone who is more financially privileged helping out others who are not? You talk like there's something wrong with it.

since de r givin her free accomodation,cn de let d children stay wit ha?even if its d last 2 kids...d pay is gud nd it seems de r rich..if d kids stay wit ha de cud help her train d kids esp if she earns dier trust nd d kids cud help out too,even if de dnt help out it wud help her monitor d kids nd i trust shez a gud mom...i rili dnt want d kids to go to d village,der r a lot of dusadvantages nd de r mor dan d advantage ..GOD wil make a way..trust me

Sophyrocks:


So the fact that they worked for it means they cannot render help to others? Is there something wrong with someone who is more financially privileged helping out others who are not? You talk like there's something wrong with it.

What you wrote just now is not what you wrote in the post I quoted. All you wrote was people spending millions on frivolities, implying that they shouldn't be spending their money because of people like the op. There are tons of rich people who help those in need so again, I don't get your point. Plus, it is their choice to make decisions on whether they should reach out or not. Once you start making those millions that could be easily spent on frivolities, you can choose to give or not to give. It is not your place to decide what people should do with their money.

It is not the birthright of a poor man to be helped by a rich man.

Sophyrocks:


So the fact that they worked for it means they cannot render help to others? Is there something wrong with someone who is more financially privileged helping out others who are not? You talk like there's something wrong with it.

The rich cant reach out to all the poor o,nobody knws d number of school fees a rich man on his way to vacation just paid!

kandiikane:

What you wrote just now is not what your wrote in the post I quoted. All you wrote was people spending millions on frivolities, implying that they shouldn't be spending their money because of people like the op. There are tons of rich people who help those in need so again, I don't get your point. Plus, it is their choice to make decisions on whether they should reach out or not. Once you start making those millions that could be easily spent on frivolities, you can choose to give or not to give. It is not your place to decide what people should do with their money.

It is not the birthright of a poor man to be helped by a rich man.

Its all about choice. I know. nobody owes anybody anything. But i believe its better to put a smile on people's faces when you are in a position to. Perhaps you have not come accross really helpless people. when you see their conditions, you will be moved to tears. Its good to have a philantropic spirit. Thats my opinion.

Lumpyy:

The rich cant reach out to all the poor o,nobody knws d number of school fees a rich man on his way to vacation just paid!

They must not reach out to all. Its according to their capacity. Thats why i love the philantropic spirit of white celebs. Some of them set out foundations to do their own bit.

Sophyrocks:


Its all about choice. I know. nobody owes anybody anything. But i believe its better to put a smile on people's faces when you are in a position to. Perhaps you have not come accross really helpless people. when you see their conditions, you will be moved to tears. Its good to have a philantropic spirit. Thats my opinion.

trust me, there is hardly a day where I don't give something if i see a homeless person or someone in need unless ofcourse I don't have on me at the particular time and I also have a couple of charities I am involved in. Just because I do this doesn't mean that one is obligated to do it. As you have clearly written, it is all about choice and that particular statement you made is in bad taste because people should be allowed to spend their money freely without being judged or criticised. Those same people that spend money on frivolities are the same ones that help those in need more than the average person.

kandiikane:

trust me, there is hardly a day where I don't give something if i see a homeless person or someone in need unless ofcourse I don't have on me at the particular time and I also have a couple of charities I am involved in. Just because I do this doesn't mean that one is obligated to do it. As you have clearly written, it is all about choice and that particular statement you made is in bad taste because people should be allowed to spend their money freely without being judged or criticised. Those same people that spend money on frivolities are the same ones that help those in need more than the average person.

You are entitled to your opinion. I still insist helping others is far better than continually spending millions on frivolities.

Sophyrocks:


You are entitled to your opinion. I still insist helping others is far better than continually spending millions on frivolities.

you still don't get it. Noone said not to help others but if someone wants to spend millions on a pair of shoes, it is their right and business since they worked for it. Anyway, good night.

aisha2:
I feel so depressed reading this. For a woman to suggest this water has really passed garri level.
Hmmm. God please make a way for this family ohhhhh. God please.

God has heard your cry Aisha. I know if you have the means, you would have rescued this family. May God bless your family.

Their story is heart drenching. As it stands at the Moment OP, your wife's proposition remains the most feasible except a miracle happens. Just like someone rightly said, desperate times call for desperate measures. This too shall pass brother. Look up to God and remember, don't be choosy about jobs now and don't stop aiming higher if when you land one.

Phema:


You are talking about an ideal situation. Ideally, no family should be apart at any point in time. But, this is far from being ideal. And trust me, no woman would want to stay away from her family, especially her children. For her to even think about it, it must have gotten very tough.

So, if you say she shouldn't take the job, then how do they feed? Remember the man has been out of job for months, so I'm guessing their savings must have gone down drastically.

Again, how do they pay rent with zero income? The man can afford to "squat" with friends temporarilly but it won't be feasible for his wife to tag along.

The kids can stay with Grandma temporarilly while the parents sort themselves out ASAP. The wife's job comes with free feeding and accommodation. So she can even afford to save and send some back home for the kids' upkeep. The hubby can also get some cash from her no matter how small to keep his head above waters.

It is really a tough decision, but must be made for the overall betterment of the whole family. . .eventually.

Just being realistic. . .

Now this is what I call objective reasoning and realistic assessment. I am sure you may have score above 350 when you wrote Jamb. I am guessing some people only just read a topic subject and provide responses without delving into the main story. Na wah o!

OP, it is well, this is just a phase&it will pass. May God see u thru! If dat opportunity is what she has nw, let her do it, aldo its hard but dere's no option 4 nw&I believe God will bring restoratn back 2 ur home. I'm really saddened by this.