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Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! - Poems For Review (2) - Nairaland

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NPC Collaboration Poetry Competition Season 2: The Renga Fiesta / Nairaland Collaborative Poetry Competition (season One) / A Critique Of Poems Featured In Nairaland's "The Poets" Competition Season 2 (2) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by OMA4U(m): 9:47pm On Nov 09, 2014
AD30LA:
do u mean, we are going to write more than one poem?

Let's meet on the other thread. I'll answer you there.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Royver(m): 10:53pm On Nov 09, 2014
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Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by basille(m): 12:16am On Nov 10, 2014
Nice job people, i enjoyed every poem i read. More grease to your elbows.

2 Likes

Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by joe17: 6:43am On Nov 10, 2014
*Spreads mat, waiting fr my requested popcorn wt coke*
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by OMA4U(m): 1:12pm On Nov 15, 2014
Dear finalists, we hereby declare the thread open for submission. Our judges are expecting your scintillating poems.

Thank you
OMA

2 Likes

Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by philtrum(m): 10:03pm On Nov 15, 2014
Lifestyle of a street Urchin


(Jigsawkillah)
Woke up on the cold cement floor hungry
The worms in my tummy are on rampage

Been walking around the town since morning
Not a single penny could I savage

Didn't know dad, my guess, he is lazy
Left mom to raise me, from her petty shop

Why won't she reap the fruit of her baby?
Cancer is eating her, God make it stop

I took fate in my hands, she mustn't die
She must get treated, that I must achieve

Life taught me the hard way, never to cry
Churches taught me, in humans, don't believe

She made sacrifices, time for pay back
I'd give my life, to see her well at last

(Philtrum)
The Horn of the Car
That drove past,quickens My mind
Of my fantasies
But I do not have a place
To call home or lay My Head.

Farther and further
I will run forward to catch
My dreams without fear.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Royver(m): 10:28pm On Nov 15, 2014
TITLE; JOSTLING EMOTIONS


(Royver)
Rage, an imperfect jostle of thoughts

Swirling around like a storm in a cup

Like a monster trying to eat itself up

It slowly eats away until all rots

(krystalxxx)
Rage is like a poison deep in the soul

It brings uneasiness to live within

Making the soul an abode for all sin

And leaves a vacuum behind, a big hole


(Royver)
Rage blinds our eyes to the relevant facts

And confuses our minds, muddles it all up

Once destruction starts it is hard to stop

And so we come down with irrational acts

So pour water on your rage, calm yourself down

That way you will smile, no need for a frown


Peace

Still calm

The stormy waters

Peace like a gentle wind comes
(royver)

Far from the rage

Calm down

Love.
(krystalxxx)

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by IGITee(m): 6:25am On Nov 16, 2014
sorry this is coming late... we had some major issues that hampered communication. please bear with us... analysis coming shortly
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by IGITee(m): 6:26am On Nov 16, 2014
WE ARE GODS!

(Ad3ola)
God
Most high
Devine Degoding Deity
Strong beyond mundane rationale
Lord

(Ad3ola)
Man
Feeble species
Augmented by the lord
Weakling became rudely arrogant
Mannish

(IGITee)
Right from the womb down to the tomb
The days of man numbered like fronds
Seeking and toiling; feelings numb
Men are God's now in earthly bonds

(Ad3ola)
Man, woke in grave confusion; illusory
Flummoxed, not even a hope; redeemless
In tears, bewailing and satisfactory
Blind infant dropped ashore fully clueless

(IGITee)
We are God's and sons of most High
But have dwelt too long on earths realm
Meant to soar like eagles in the sky
But our greed and lust daily overwhelm

(Ad3ola)
Created with freedom to choose
Theirs virtuous and attractive dooms
Myopic plenty choose to lose
Forgetting the fore doom that looms

(IGITee)
We were made human; born givers
But pride and self turned us beggars
Please live life to make believers
By paving paths as true leaders

(Ad3ola)
Weak even with aid from a Calvary
Fragile, friable, helpless and hopeless
Liberated by the wisper; you are miry
Alas, A sense, verily we are less

(IGITee)
We are God's; humbly born as sons
We are Gods; brightly lit than suns

(IGITee)
We were created in God's image
For too long we have lived as men
Scruffling for a piece of earth
When we were made for more
Its time to live up
To our creed as
Immortals
We are
Gods!

5 Likes

Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by IGITee(m): 10:17am On Nov 16, 2014
CONTENT ANALYSIS:

This is a poem of two conflicting thoughts. An affirmation of our Godly status and a conviction of our manly frailty and limitations. One view tends to show our humbly beginnings and promising future (as Gods) while the other, portrays our many limitations as men (God's). Hence, the question; Are you Gods or only God's?!... choose your destiny....

STRUCTURE:
The poem starts with two cinquains. One describing the God form and the other man.

The poem then goes into a sonnet but we modified the sonnet to include three extra verses. 3 from each poet and it was written with a uniform
rhyme scheme ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGH IJIJ KLKL MM. It has a total of
six stanzas and twenty four lines except for the closing couplet i.e four lines per stanza plus two closing lines (couplet)

The poem then delves into a nonet which consists of 9 lines with 9 syllables from start dropping down to one syllable at the end.

THEME :
The dominant themes in this poem include – Identity, God, Man, Immortality, humanity, greed and motivation.

POETIC DEVICES:
Enjambment ; this means the running over of the sense of
one line into the next and this is used in most lines.

RHYME :
A uniform rhyme scheme (ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGH IJIJ KLKL MM.) is adopted.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by OMA4U(m): 2:03pm On Nov 16, 2014
Thank you, dear Contestants. Results will be updated soon, followed by announcement of the winner, then launching of Nairaland Poetry Club.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Royver(m): 3:17pm On Nov 16, 2014
Content analysis
The poem speaks of conflicting emotions within the psyche of the individual. He starts out enraged and in turmoil but as he reflects on the consequences of his fiery emotions he calms himself and seeks for peace and tranquility

Structure
It consists of two parts, starting with a Sonnet and ending with a diamante poem. The sonnet is full of expression, consisting of the characteristic 14lines each of 10syllables in length. The rhyming couplet follows a draconian/shakesperean tilt with end rhymes –abba, cddc, ee
The diamante poem which is the second stanza is simple enough, yet each word is extremely significant and builds up to a solid and calming mantra for peace and love. It follows the characteristic 7 lines and diamond shape.

Theme;
The Sonnet expresses the poet’s deep feelings of rage and the chaos he feels inside as his soul is torn apart. At the end of the sonnet though the poet gains clarity on what he must do to achieve stability and peace. The Diamante is like a mantra, bringing the poets mind to focus on clarity and calmness and oneness. All this brings peace, which if properly nurtured will yield love.

Poetic devices

1. Rhyme: As stated earlier abba, cddc, abba, ee

2 Simile: Stanza 1 line 2,3,5. Similarity between the emotion of rage and entities that depict chaos e.g storm, monsters,poison

3. Metaphor: Stanza 1line 1. Rage is likened to an imperfect jostle of thoughts without using the word 'like'. An implied meaning of the chaos rage brings to the mind.

Tone/Mood
Anger, poor concentration and then eureka; calm and peace.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by AD30LA: 4:45pm On Nov 16, 2014
Please judges accept my sincere apologies..... Am late due to circumstances beyond my control plus my partner and I have got issues with communication
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by AD30LA: 4:47pm On Nov 16, 2014
WE ARE GODS

(AD30LA)
God
Most high
Divine degoding deity
Strong beyond mundane rationale
Lord

(AD30LA)
Human
Feeble species
Augmented by the lord
Weakling became rudely arrogant
Mannish

(IGItee)
…………………………………………………….
.…………………….God………………………
.….……….Divine, immortal…………….
..……..Soaring, ruling leading…………
Limitless in power; limited in might
..…..Groaning, daring, needing…….
.………….Mundane, myopic…………..
.…………………….Men……………………..
(IGItee)
We were created in God’s image
For too long we have lived as men
Scuffling for a piece of the earth
When we were made for more
Its time to live up
To our creed as
Immortals
We are
God’s!

(AD30LA)
Man woke in grave confusion; illusory
Flummoxed, not even a hope; redeemless
In tears, bewailing and satisfactory
Blind infant dropped ashore fully clueless
Weak even with aid from a Calvary
Fragile, friable helpless and hopeless
Liberated by the wisper; you are mine!
Alas a sense, verily we are thine

(IGItee AND AD30LA)
Right from the womb down to the tomb
The days of man numbered like fronds
Seeking and toiling; feeling numb
Men are God’s now in earthly bonds
Created with freedom to choose
Theirs virtuous and attractive dooms
Myopic plenty choose to lose
Forgetting the fore doom that looms
We are God’s and sons of most high
but have dwelt too long on earths realm
meant to soar like eagles in the sky
but our greed and lust overwhelm
we are god’s: humbly born as sons
we are god’s: with bright glows than sun’s
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by AD30LA: 4:50pm On Nov 16, 2014
INTRODUCTION:
This poem is basically a wake up call to all human, it's emphasis is on the fact that human are created in God's image so we should start seeing ourselves as Gods I.e without constraints. Theirs no limit to the level you can go, you just have to start seeing yourself as a God and not the typical weak human.
CONTENT ANALYSIS:
In the first stanza the poet expresses the contrast between the typical human and God, basically portraying God as Strong and Man as weak.
The third stanza is an imagery of the contrast portrayed in the first two stanzas
The fourth stanza portrays man has lazy rather than weak, the poet tried to gear up the typical man, emphasizing that since we have been created in God’s image we are also Gods
The fifth stanza illustrates that without God man is weak
The sixth and last stanza traces the journey of man “right from the womb to the tomb”, the grace God has showered on man and how man has thrown it away.
STRUCTURAL ANALYSIS:
The first and second stanzas are cinquains, the third is a diamante, the third is a nonet, the fourth is an octave (ottava rima) rhyming ABABABCC and the last is an English Sonnet rhyming ABABCDCDEFEFGG.

Meter: the octave is in pentameters while the sonnet is in tetrameters

POETIC DEVICES

ALLITERATION: this means the repetition of consonant sounds and it is used in the first stanza line 3 “divine degoding deity” and the last two lines of the third stanza “Mundane Myopic Men” also in the fifth stanza line 6 “fragile friable, helpless and hopeless”
Oxymoron: this is combination of two words with opposite meanings, and this device is adopted in stanza six lines six “attractive dooms”
Enjambment: this means the running over of the sense of one line into the next and this is used in most lines of this poem
Malapropism: this is used the last line of the fifth stanza “alas” to mean ‘at last’
Onomatopoeia: this is used in line eight of the last stanza “doom that looms”
Paradox: this is used in stanza 5 line 3 where the poet portrays tears as both bewailing and satisfactory
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by AD30LA: 4:56pm On Nov 16, 2014
embarassedoooops never knew he had submitted one.......please bear with us....... It's all my fault and I accept all the blame...... Please don't let both of us pay for my own shortcomings, use this last one.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by OMA4U(m): 7:22pm On Nov 16, 2014
Results for the second round of this competition:

JUDGE ONE
CONTEST. 1 3 7
ORG 17 15 14
P/D 17 17 17
C/S 16 15 17
GRAM 8 8 7
THE/ANA 7 - 7
M/IMA 16 15 16
TOTAL 81 70 78


Others are coming in
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by OMA4U(m): 7:27pm On Nov 16, 2014
Results for the second round of this competition:

JUDGE TWO
CONTEST. 1 3 7
ORG 18 16 16
P/D 17 17 17
C/S 17 16 17
GRAM 8 7 7
THE/ANA 7 - 7
M/IMA 17 17 17
TOTAL 84 73 81


Others are coming in
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by OMA4U(m): 9:07pm On Nov 16, 2014
JUDGE THREE

CONTEST. 1 3 7
ORG 15 15 15
P/D 16 16 17
C/S 16 16 15
GRAM 8 9 9
THE/ANA 8 - 8
M/IMA 17 18 17
TOTAL 80 74 81

Total scores will be coming soon.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by OMA4U(m): 9:14pm On Nov 16, 2014
[/b]I hereby announce the total scores of the finalists in this Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One:

Contestant one: 245
Contestant two: 217
Contestant three: 240

THE WINNER OF THIS COMPETITION IS CONTESTANT ONE: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

2 Likes

Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by basille(m): 11:03pm On Nov 16, 2014
Congratulations to ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX. I loved the poem 'RAGE'.
Also, big ups to other contestants you guys are the bomb.
This should be done more often.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by joseph1832(m): 11:04pm On Nov 16, 2014
OMA4U:
[/b]I hereby announce the total scores of the finalists in this Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One:

Contestant one: 245
Contestant two: 217
Contestant three: 240

THE WINNER OF THIS COMPETITION IS CONTESTANT ONE: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Congratulations guys. You guys did a marvelous job. So did all the contestants.

I honestly look forward to having a fantastic time with all here. Cheers once again.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Nobody: 5:12am On Nov 17, 2014
basille:
Congratulations to ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX. I loved the poem 'RAGE'.
Also, big ups to other contestants you guys are the bomb.
This should be done more often.
Yes Basille. When the NL poets club is launched,the contests will be more frequent.
Ayamlaykorn
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by JigsawKillah(m): 6:06am On Nov 17, 2014
congrats Royver and errmmm
biko this ur partner name too hard abeg
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by timpaker(m): 7:45am On Nov 17, 2014
Many congratulations to all the contestants. Y'all did a very good job. And for the winners, we hope to see more of your works here in this Section. Cheers!!! cheesy
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Nobody: 8:54am On Nov 17, 2014
JigsawKillah:
congrats Royver and errmmm
biko this ur partner name too hard abeg

Lol I understand. But thanks anyway.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Royver(m): 9:10am On Nov 17, 2014
We won! Congrats krystalxxx you are a great partner and poet. congrats too to the other contestants, your poems were awesome. The competition taught me some new things about poetry and I hope to learn even more in future. We will give a more befitting speech later.
Thanks guys.

2 Likes

Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Nobody: 11:20am On Nov 17, 2014
Royver:
We won! Congrats krystalxxx you are a great partner and poet. congrats too to the other contestants, your poems were awesome. The competition taught me some new things about poetry and I hope to learn even more in future. We will give a more befitting speech later.
Thanks guys.
Congratulations Royver. Please could you save your speech for the launching of the e-club? It will be launched on Saturday evening. The time hasn't been decided yet. Suggestions are welcome sir.
Ayamlaykorn
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Fembleez1(m): 12:39pm On Nov 17, 2014
embarassed
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Obinnau(m): 10:54pm On Nov 20, 2014
laykorn:

Congratulations Royver. Please could you save your speech for the launching of the e-club? It will be launched on Saturday evening. The time hasn't been decided yet. Suggestions are welcome sir.
Ayamlaykorn
try to contact me at least 12 hours before the time. and send me the link also.
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Nobody: 4:15am On Nov 21, 2014
Obinnau:
try to contact me at least 12 hours before the time. and send me the link also.
Thank you sir. We won't forget to do that.
Ayamlaykorn
Re: Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One: ROYVER AND KRYSTALXXX WINS!!! by Jetix: 11:04pm On Feb 16, 2015
Is there any poem contest coming up soon? And must you be paired to enter into it? Thanks in advance 4 he info.

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