Unfortuantely you have both put the cart bfore the horse and the foundation is wrong, but you are both somehow going to find a way of rigthing things. . . .if anything there are now 2 innocent children involved.

Money is not everything and reading between the lines, you feel that becasue you are providing money, your work is complete . . .No! No!! No!!! she needs your emotional support, she needs you physically and she needs your encouragement.
She has a MIL who doesnt like her for no concrete reason and she is single handedly looking after your son. We could argue and say, Yes she knew what she was getting into before she decided to get pregnenat and do I agree with you if you say so.

Its not easy being a husband, son and father and you will have to juggle a lot of balls especially in a situation like yours when not everyone gets along.
You have the luxury of being abroad and far away from the "troubles", but your fiancee is in the middle of it. She has no one to turn to and she expects your support. Sometimes she just wants to rant as she has no one else and you should understand that and its not necessarily directy at you but the situation. It cant be easy for her too. she has been disliked by your mum for no major reason and she has even reached out to your mum but to no avail. She must be really hurt.

In the meantime, what did she expect when she decided to get pregnant for a guy who has recently travelled, who is probably still struggling himself and to top it all she has not income of her own. The poster wasnt born to supply all her needs, they are nor married, so she needs to take a chill pill. She is only laying on the bed that she made.

chaircover:
Unfortuantely you have both put the cart bfore the horse and the foundation is wrong, but you are both somehow going to find a way of rigthing things. . . .if anything there are now 2 innocent children involved.

Money is not everything and reading between the lines, you feel that becasue you are providing money, your work is complete . . .No! No!! No!!! she needs your emotional support, she needs you physically and she needs your encouragement.
She has a MIL who doesnt like her for no concrete reason and she is single handedly looking after your son. We could argue and say, Yes she knew what she was getting into before she decided to get pregnenat and do I agree with you if you say so.

Its not easy being a husband, son and father and you will have to juggle a lot of balls especially in a situation like yours when not everyone gets along.
You have the luxury of being abroad and far away from the "troubles", but your fiancee is in the middle of it. She has no one to turn to and she expects your support. Sometimes she just wants to rant as she has no one else and you should understand that and its not necessarily directy at you but the situation. It cant be easy for her too. she has been disliked by your mum for no major reason and she has even reached out to your mum but to no avail. She must be really hurt.

In the meantime, what did she expect when she decided to get pregnant for a guy who has recently travelled, who is probably still struggling himself and to top it all she has not income of her own. The poster wasnt born to supply all her needs, they are nor married, so she needs to take a chill pill. She is only laying on the bed that she made.

Thanks
I have always tried to be supportive apart from money
I talk to her every minute of the day but she feel she is the only one stressed out because I don't complain about how the whole thing affects me
She also thinks I don't feel it that my mum has not gone to see my son and her parents
Does she want me to stop sending money to mum or start fighting her for that......impossible

My main problem with her is her manners,she doesn't knw how to talk and respect me
Imagine your gf telling you that if you have sense you should ve known...........then when I say she stupid for that comment then her reply will be...a man dating a stupid girl is what?

lately the way she compare my attention between my son and daughter

Your mother is your mother and I know you love her so much but bro be very careful.
Your mother has not gone to see her grand son?
What kind of mother is that.i think you should focus more on why your mum would hate this girl and her grand son so much
Talking about manners,did it just start?shebi when you were getting intimate unprotected the manner ish was there
Can't say more

Well she does need some talking to.
unfortunately she's not here to get that.

So what can we do except tell you to take things easy. But that won't solve all the problem as you may be doing your own part but she won't do hers.

Maybe your na show her the thread if possible.

I think her comparisons between your son and daughter is not healthy. Wtf is that?

kodozion:


Thanks
Well,this is the first time we are really having money issue,her personal allowance is 30k excluding the child expenses but sometimes she said she do use from her money for somethings for the child

Maybe I have not really explain my concern here

First I do have a lot of problem with her manners,she doesn't even know to talk to me,she is not respectful,she too hot temper
Lately she has been comparing my attention between her son and my daughter then she talks about my mum that I have a good relationship with my mum even when she doesn't and I send her moni anytime she asked for but when it come to her and my son they are secondary which is a very big lie...like I told her she and the boy collect larger portion of my resources compare to my mum,since she gave birth I have not given her and the chid less than 50k
She is angry now becos she feel I refuse to help her with some issues which I promise this month end

Does she want me to stop sending money to my mum or start have issue with her becos of her?

kodozion:



Thanks
I have always tried to be supportive apart from money
I talk to her every minute of the day but she feel she is the only one stressed out because I don't complain about how the whole thing affects me
She also thinks I don't feel it that my mum has not gone to see my son and her parents
Does she want me to stop sending money to mum or start fighting her for that......impossible

My main problem with her is her manners,she doesn't knw how to talk and respect me
Imagine your gf telling you that if you have sense you should ve known...........then when I say she stupid for that comment then her reply will be...a man dating a stupid girl is what?

lately the way she compare my attention between my son and daughter

I think the stress of you both having a LDR and the problems between her and your mother are not helping issues.
I read a study where it said that when the family dont get on with the wife or hubby, the relationsip is likely to break up due to the stress. Please bear this in mind and therefore "fight" to keep your relationship together
There are a lot of things working against the relationship so both of you need to work twice as hard to keep it healthy.
I understand how she feels and truth be told your mum is not helping.
You need to have a chat with your mum
For example 50% of your DNA is in the baby that your mum refuses to see
I will tell her that her rejecting that baby means that she is rejecting me too
If only your mum can overlook the "wrong" in your fiancee and look instead at the "rignt" in your happiness.

Gf also needs talking too. It takes 2 to tango. She is a big girl now and should stop throwing tantrums.

kodozion:





Thanks
She is in her finals now
When I came dec 2013 I went to see her eldest brother then took a drink to the father to discuss with him but we couldn't talk much because he had visitor that day
Afterward my mum starting acting so I couldn't take the matter further because I almost set to come back to milan
I planned coming this january before that was why I wanted to get her a e bedroom flat but she asked me to suspend it till nov/dec when she round up with final exams
But lately she has been comparing my attention between my son and daughter
Is really annoying because it seems she may divide my children if I let her continue like this
Thanks again
I have always assured her that I will sort things out when I come

One thing us sure, she will not love your daughter like her own.

That girl is immature, and a disaster, ignore her till her head comes down. And don't worry, your son is still your son.

chaircover:


I think the stress of you both having a LDR and the problems between her and your mother are not helping issues.
I read a study where it said that when the family dont get on with the wife or hubby, the relationsip is likely to break up due to the stress. Please bear this in mind and therefore "fight" to keep your relationship together
There are a lot of things working against the relationship so both of you need to work twice as hard to keep it healthy.
I understand how she feels and truth be told your mum is not helping.
You need to have a chat with your mum
For example 50% of your DNA is in the baby that your mum refuses to see
I will tell her that her rejecting that baby means that she is rejecting me too
If only your mum can overlook the "wrong" in your fiancee and look instead at the "rignt" in your happiness.

Gf also needs talking too. It takes 2 to tango. She is a big girl now and should stop throwing tantrums.

Thanks
I have always told her that I will sort the issue with my mum out when I come
She doesn't listen to advice,she feels she knows all and think she is always right
She said am the only one having problem with her manners
Imagine she deleting me from BBM,FB and block me on whatapp becos I said she and her family took 98k from me dec while I gave my mum n sibling 75k....she deleted me becos I used the word "took" and that she doesn't benefit anything from me neither has she used my moni to buy anything....30k a month is not enough for personal use?

I thought she will get better with her manners after child birth but no changes

Thanks again

I do not think he should ask his mama about that. For God sake ,he is got another child of 8years out side by another girl who happens to be his first girl . It is possible the mother has promised the other lady marriage and the lady has gotten so committed to his family [if you get what i mean ]so i do not think his mother will ever want to allow this newbie to come tag along in the game . The matter is just vict bro has refused to grow and tame his 'thing,and hope it will not later become his trouble abi he will start shouting to the high heavens of witch tomorow !this things have great repercusions o!on the other hand ,the second lady seem too demanding . Is it because this young man has been very liberal with her family ?he has even sent money to her parent for God sake ,let her cut down her budget and adjust pls . Her parents aint dead na!they can still cater for her even if the young man refuses to play his part. I would want to suggest he cuts off from her if she continues with vict outrageous demanding attitude .i just hope some persons are not pushing her in to this over demanding character ? '

thorpido:
When you keep siring babies instead of doing the proper thing by asking for a lady's hand in marriage and doing the formal ceremony,it breeds a lot of problems.
Can you come down to Nigeria,visit the girl's parents and fix a date for wedding?Try and talk to your mother too and find out why she is not on good terms with the lady.

gidjah:
I do not think he should ask his mama about that. For God sake ,he is got another child of 8years out side by another girl who happens to be his first girl . It is possible the mother has promised the other lady marriage and the lady has gotten so committed to his family [if you get what i mean ]so i do not think his mother will ever want to allow this newbie to come tag along in the game . The matter is just vict bro has refused to grow and tame his 'thing,and hope it will not later become his trouble abi he will start shouting to the high heavens of witch tomorow !this things have great repercusions o!on the other hand ,the second lady seem too demanding . Is it because this young man has been very liberal with her family ?he has even sent money to her parent for God sake ,let her cut down her budget and adjust pls . Her parents aint dead na!they can still cater for her even if the young man refuses to play his part. I would want to suggest he cuts off from her if she continues with vict outrageous demanding attitude .i just hope some persons are not pushing her in to this over demanding character ? '

He should still discuss with the mother even if her preference is for the first babymama.The Op doesn't seem to be in a relationship with that one.

Please come home and marry the girl.

Your mother is not helping things at all.
You have to settle this problem now that it can still be settled.
You want to leave her and make a third baby with a third mother?
Do the right thing.
So much good advice has been given to you already.

Something is not right!
Something is not right!

You need to make things right before you ruin your relationship. You honestly cannot compare what it takes to raise a new born baby to what it takes to raise an 8 year old. This is just a bad time to buy a piece f land and it seems you spend money without thinking of where it is going. She's your wife for all intents and purposes so you really should be sitting with her and discussing your future together and that ncludes were you guys put your money. It seems you're the one dragging your feet. You're full of excuses. It'll be crazy to have children scattered in 3 different homes. Please consider the children

gidjah:
I do not think he should ask his mama about that. For God sake ,he is got another child of 8years out side by another girl who happens to be his first girl . It is possible the mother has promised the other lady marriage and the lady has gotten so committed to his family [if you get what i mean ]so i do not think his mother will ever want to allow this newbie to come tag along in the game . The matter is just vict bro has refused to grow and tame his 'thing,and hope it will not later become his trouble abi he will start shouting to the high heavens of witch tomorow !this things have great repercusions o!on the other hand ,the second lady seem too demanding . Is it because this young man has been very liberal with her family ?he has even sent money to her parent for God sake ,let her cut down her budget and adjust pls . Her parents aint dead na!they can still cater for her even if the young man refuses to play his part. I would want to suggest he cuts off from her if she continues with vict outrageous demanding attitude .i just hope some persons are not pushing her in to this over demanding character ? '

Thanks
My daughter lives with my mother
The mother left her with me and my mum when she was a year old becos of pressure from the family becos she was young then so our relationship ended, she moved to PH to further her school in madonna university then I met this present gf 2011
My problem with this present one doesn't really centre on money but her attitude now
Before our son came she was always concern about my daughter but ever since the arrival of our son all does is to compare my attention between them..she doesn't even call my daughter name again..all she says is ur daughter,my son.....when your daughter was sick u quickly sent moni but my son is not feeling fine but you don't bother becos we r secondary to you where as I spend a larger part on them.....she is so ungrateful
Last week monday I did little shopping for her and my son because it was a final sales period while I was doing it I was sending her d pix of the clothes(3 jeggings n 2 tops for her then 3 trousers n 2 shoes for my son) and she didn't even ask me if I wasn't buying anything for my daughter...she so self centred

My fear is that she will not unite my children so am begining to think of going back to my daughter mother

She is in finals too in madonna university

Note: the pregnancy was an arrangement between both us since she said it will be commitment between us since am not in the country that I can just do introduction when I come then marriage this year or next but my mum didn't agree with the introduction and at that time we have stopped all precautions

I will always send her money for the need of my son

soulglo:
You need to make things right before you ruin your relationship. You honestly cannot compare what it takes to raise a new born baby to what it takes to raise an 8 year old. This is just a bad time to buy a piece f land and it seems you spend money without thinking of where it is going. She's your wife for all intents and purposes so you really should be sitting with her and discussing your future together and that ncludes were you guys put your money. It seems you're the one dragging your feet. You're full of excuses. It'll be crazy to have children scattered in 3 different homes. Please consider the children

Thanks
Buying a land is not the problem,I have always spend extra money on her and the child
Her anger is that I have not helped her with money to settle out some school stuff which I told her I will do by this month end but I was actually suppose to help last month becos of d land I couldn't but a little patient for a month will not cause more harm
My problem with her is her manners and attitude
I have talked to her several time but all she says is dat am the only one having issues with her manners
Also the way she compares my children

She has just refuse to mature even 31.....SMH

mutter:
Please come home and marry the girl.

Your mother is not helping things at all.
You have to settle this problem now that it can still be settled.
You want to leave her and make a third baby with a third mother?
Do the right thing.
So much good advice has been given to you already.

Thanks
Coming home to marry her ,will that change her manners ?
Will it change the way she compare my daughter to her son?
I don't think she can unite my children....I might possibly go back to my daughter mother then send money for my son upkeep
I dislike people who aren't loyal and respectful

This story is becoming comedic


You are telling us that Your girlfriend conspired to Let herself get pregnant so she can be committed and you were just an innocent spērm donor

Now you are thinking of going to your first baby mama since she is almost thru with her studies to unite your kids in one place

What a lofty ambition yet you were 'persuaded' to get second baby mama pregnant so she can be sure of your commitment to you

You are such a catch

pickabeau1:
This story is becoming comedic


You are telling us that Your girlfriend conspired to Let herself get pregnant so she can be committed and you were just an innocent spērm donor

Now you are thinking of going to your first baby mama since she is almost thru with her studies to unite your kids in one place

What a lofty ambition yet you were 'persuaded' to get second baby mama pregnant so she can be sure of your commitment to you

You are such a catch

Lol

I wasn't persuaded or as u put it
It was something we both agreed on......we wanted to be family
I have the intention of marrying her.....we were in a relationship for almost 2yrs before I travelled and ishe 70percent of the reason I went home that 1st year to do introduction for her and start a family
I still do love her but I don't like the idea of comparing my children,she promise to improve on her manners but no changes then she says some ungrateful words

pickabeau1:
This story is becoming comedic


You are telling us that Your girlfriend conspired to Let herself get pregnant so she can be committed and you were just an innocent spērm donor

Now you are thinking of going to your first baby mama since she is almost thru with her studies to unite your kids in one place

What a lofty ambition yet you were 'persuaded' to get second baby mama pregnant so she can be sure of your commitment to you

You are such a catch

Lol

I wasn't persuaded or as u put it
It was something we both agreed on......we wanted to be family
I have the intention of marrying her.....we were in a relationship for almost 2yrs before I travelled and ishe 70percent of the reason I went home that 1st year to do introduction for her and start a family
I still do love her but I don't like the idea of comparing my children,she promise to improve on her manners but no changes then she says some ungrateful words

Truth is bitter...! Im not a prophet but take my words, if you continue with her, then expect worse things. Her reason for loving you is clear and if you are not meeting her expectations, she will strike. Now she is confident of having a male child and with that she believes you will always beg and condescend to her wants. Continuing with her will profit you zero. Just pick up your shoes and bounce.

shegzyvic:
Truth is bitter...! Im not a prophet but take my words, if you continue with her, then expect worse things. Her reason for loving you is clear and if you are not meeting her expectations, she will strike. Now she is confident of having a male child and with that she believes you will always beg and condescend to her wants. Continuing with her will profit you zero. Just pick up your shoes and bounce.

Thanks
I think you have a point
Anytime there is a disagreement..she always says i will come look for the child maybe becos she feels is male child so............
I love my daughter so much that I will not take shit from any woman

kodozion:


Lol

I wasn't persuaded or as u put it
It was something we both agreed on......we wanted to be family
I have the intention of marrying her.....we were in a relationship for almost 2yrs before I travelled and ishe 70percent of the reason I went home that 1st year to do introduction for her and start a family
I still do love her but I don't like the idea of comparing my children,she promise to improve on her manners but no changes then she says some ungrateful words

Now you say you were not persuaded...

Yet you make contradictory statements again
These are your own words

As I said initially I really feel sorry for this Lady contending with your mom and your indecision

She better plan for a life as a single mom and look for her husband elsewhere

kodozion:


My fear is that she will not unite my children so am begining to think of going back to my daughter mother



Note: the pregnancy was an arrangement between both us since she said it will be commitment between us since am not in the country that I can just do introduction when I come then marriage this year or next but my mum didn't agree with the introduction and at that time we have stopped all precautions
I will always send her money for the need of my son

First this your idea of getting different ladies pregnant is a very bad one the truth is as a student your Gf believes you are her human ATM machine on the flip side if you leave her now you already have two kids from different mothers, but if she leaves she might. Just go with her child,i would say "let go of her" cos she isn't interested in bringing peace and unity to your family... My two cents though

pickabeau1:


Now you say you were not persuaded...

Yet you make contradictory statements again
These are your own words

As I said initially I really feel sorry for this Lady contending with your mom and your indecision

She better plan for a life as a single mom and look for her husband elsewhere

My words r not contradictory
She was nice to my daughter ,she do buy her gift
My 1st visit dec 2013 I gave her money to buy some things in lagos for daughter becos it was winter here and most of the clothes were thick clothes....she bought some beautiful things and added her money
I thought we could make one family but ever since she gave birth to my son....all does is compare my daughter and her son...is really disturbing

I don't know what you mean by my indecision......I travelled to nigeria becos of her,I have always be there for her rite from the very day I left d shores of nigeria
My daughter mother is not on my fb,I don't chat with her becos of this lady even when I came home she begged me that will should come back becos of her daughter but I refuse that am already in committed relationship and I have given her my word
I have always be committed to her

kodozion:


My words r not contradictory
She was nice to my daughter ,she do buy her gift
My 1st visit dec 2013 I gave her money to buy some things in lagos for daughter becos it was winter here and most of the clothes were thick clothes....she bought some beautiful things and added her money
I thought we could make one family but ever since she gave birth to my son....all does is compare my daughter and her son...is really disturbing

I don't know what you mean by my indecision......I travelled to nigeria becos of her,I have always be there for her rite from the very day I left d shores of nigeria
My daughter mother is not on my fb,I don't chat with her becos of this lady even when I came home she begged me that will should come back becos of her daughter but I refuse that am already in committed relationship and I have given her my word
I have always be committed to her

OK...

This woman never knew you would go abroad when she gave you your heart.
You want her respect then make her your wife.
You need to respect her by putting that ring on her finger.

Let me point out some things to you.

Before you were paying a very high price for her- love and devotion.
Now you have turned yourself into a golden goose and you think your money is enough,
Take a good look at yourself. You have changed since you started left Nigeria. You have changed since you started having money.

Furthermore your family now now is on you for money. I live abroad too, so I know how it is. They want money from you. They don`t like the idea that you are giving her money. This is a general problem men abroad have but you don`t want to handle it well.

Why has she started comparing her child?

Because you are doing the same and you an your family are paying that child against her.
She has a son and normally every woman in her situation knows she has nothing to fear.
Look deep and search your mind. The problem is coming from you.

Your mother is standing in the way of your happiness. I am a grandmother and I was there with the mother when she gave birth. I know how I supported the girl at that time.
This poor girl even went to beg your mother and kneel down. Yet your mother was still hard.
You better know what is going on and act like a man.
A son raised without a father hardly ends up well.
Go along with the marriage and the respect will come.
This girl has not lost respect for you - she is hurt and bitter.
You need to show her love and affection like in the olden days. Then you will see her as a loving woman she once was.

Do not throw away a good thing out of arrogance with your new found "wealth".

mutter:
This woman never knew you would go abroad when she gave you your heart.
You want her respect then make her your wife.
You need to respect her by putting that ring on her finger.

Let me point out some things to you.

Before you were paying a very high price for her- love and devotion.
Now you have turned yourself into a golden goose and you think your money is enough,
Take a good look at yourself. You have changed since you started left Nigeria. You have changed since you started having money.

Furthermore your family now now is on you for money. I live abroad too, so I know how it is. They want money from you. They don`t like the idea that you are giving her money. This is a general problem men abroad have but you don`t want to handle it well.

Why has she started comparing her child?

Because you are doing the same and you an your family are paying that child against her.
She has a son and normally every woman in her situation knows she has nothing to fear.
Look deep and search your mind. The problem is coming from you.

Your mother is standing in the way of your happiness. I am a grandmother and I was there with the mother when she gave birth. I know how I supported the girl at that time.
This poor girl even went to beg your mother and kneel down. Yet your mother was still hard.
You better know what is going on and act like a man.
A son raised without a father hardly ends up well.
Go along with the marriage and the respect will come.
This girl has not lost respect for you - she is hurt and bitter.
You need to show her love and affection like in the olden days. Then you will see her as a loving woman she once was.

Do not throw away a good thing out of arrogance with your new found "wealth".

I understand what you are saying but I don't agree some of your points
A ring or marriage does not bring out respect in a woman...a disrespectful woman will always be like that whether ring or not until she decide to amend
Are there not wedding where both parent gave consent to but d union never went pass 3 months
If a woman cannot display a good xter before marriage then she will not even if you marry her
I have always look beyond her manners/fault but my issue with her now is her ungrateful and comparison with my daughter which goes to show she can't unite my daughter n her son
If she has shown this side before I don't think I would ve continue this far with her

I have never compared my daughter with her son...I hardly even discuss my daughter with her
How much did I spend on daughter last year compare to her son

All through last year....I only bought clothes during summer for my daughter, sept I enrolled her in a new sch of 67k...oct I gave my mum 10k to take her to hospital..finish


But her own case.....in march I spent 77k for ante natal,her pyschatric posting and allownace
May..I gave 180k for her 1st baby shopping......june I made a new bed frame and bought new foam for her for 50k.....august her pack bag for delivery I gave her 23k...all these doesn't include her monthly allowance
She gave birth sept 6th..on the 1st sept..I gave her 102k for delivery n allowance....oct..I gave her 120k for allownace,settle debt of 15k n buy few electronics....november...I gave her 80k for her and my son expenses....dec I gave her and her family 93k (50k for the parents)..........no wonder the father called on new year to bring the baby to visit him.....I gave them the money just put respect on her since I have not come to do the right thing

This year janaury....I only paid my daughter sch fees...40k.....while she and her son collected 53k
Then on the 26th she asked for her febuary allowance and money for dedication..I gave her 60k.......
The problem now is that on the 17th feb she asked for money I told her to wait till month so I will give her moni for both her sch stuff and allowance before she started vomitting rubbish that if it were my daughter n mother that requested moni I will run and send it
That the other day my daughter was not feeling fine I sent money but I refuse to respond now that she said her son is not fine
Also that the land my mum bought for me,she knows her son is not included but just me and my daughter
Lastly what does she really benefit from me self

The bible say....he that is faithful/grateful in little will be faithful/grateful in much..
She is very ungrateful and is too early for her to see my daughter as a rival
Is not healthy at all
I'm trying but she is not encouraging

I do understand your plight sir, if you think she will never am6rescue and give you peace in the nearest future pls let her go sir ,you will need peace and honour in you home pls ,if she is not the type that that will deliver such to you pls leave her alone and let her go find her type. Do not even try to manage her or feel for her in terms of sentiments or other wise. I really wish you all the best honour and joy your home will give you tomorow. I say this because i am a living witness to what your home can give you when you make a wrong choice. May the good old Lord help you brother

kodozion:


Thanks
My daughter lives with my mother
The mother left her with me and my mum when she was a year old becos of pressure from the family becos she was young then so our relationship ended, she moved to PH to further her school in madonna university then I met this present gf 2011
My problem with this present one doesn't really centre on money but her attitude now
Before our son came she was always concern about my daughter but ever since the arrival of our son all does is to compare my attention between them..she doesn't even call my daughter name again..all she says is ur daughter,my son.....when your daughter was sick u quickly sent moni but my son is not feeling fine but you don't bother becos we r secondary to you where as I spend a larger part on them.....she is so ungrateful
Last week monday I did little shopping for her and my son because it was a final sales period while I was doing it I was sending her d pix of the clothes(3 jeggings n 2 tops for her then 3 trousers n 2 shoes for my son) and she didn't even ask me if I wasn't buying anything for my daughter...she so self centred

My fear is that she will not unite my children so am begining to think of going back to my daughter mother

She is in finals too in madonna university

Note: the pregnancy was an arrangement between both us since she said it will be commitment between us since am not in the country that I can just do introduction when I come then marriage this year or next but my mum didn't agree with the introduction and at that time we have stopped all precautions

I will always send her money for the need of my son

gidjah:
I do understand your plight sir, if you think she will never am6rescue and give you peace in the nearest future pls let her go sir ,you will need peace and honour in you home pls ,if she is not the type that that will deliver such to you pls leave her alone and let her go find her type. Do not even try to manage her or feel for her in terms of sentiments or other wise. I really wish you all the best honour and joy your home will give you tomorow. I say this because i am a living witness to what your home can give you when you make a wrong choice. May the good old Lord help you brother

Thanks
Noted

thorpido:
When you keep siring babies instead of doing the proper thing by asking for a lady's hand in marriage and doing the formal ceremony,it breeds a lot of problems.
Can you come down to Nigeria,visit the girl's parents and fix a date for wedding?Try and talk to your mother too and find out why she is not on good terms with the lady.

..spot on!...i actually feel sorry for his kids who are on the verge of having siblings with different mothers...poor kids

kodozion:



I understand what you are saying but I don't agree some of your points
A ring or marriage does not bring out respect in a woman...a disrespectful woman will always be like that whether ring or not until she decide to amend
Are there not wedding where both parent gave consent to but d union never went pass 3 months
If a woman cannot display a good xter before marriage then she will not even if you marry her
I have always look beyond her manners/fault but my issue with her now is her ungrateful and comparison with my daughter which goes to show she can't unite my daughter n her son
If she has shown this side before I don't think I would ve continue this far with her

I have never compared my daughter with her son...I hardly even discuss my daughter with her
How much did I spend on daughter last year compare to her son

All through last year....I only bought clothes during summer for my daughter, sept I enrolled her in a new sch of 67k...oct I gave my mum 10k to take her to hospital..finish


But her own case.....in march I spent 77k for ante natal,her pyschatric posting and allownace
May..I gave 180k for her 1st baby shopping......june I made a new bed frame and bought new foam for her for 50k.....august her pack bag for delivery I gave her 23k...all these doesn't include her monthly allowance
She gave birth sept 6th..on the 1st sept..I gave her 102k for delivery n allowance....oct..I gave her 120k for allownace,settle debt of 15k n buy few electronics....november...I gave her 80k for her and my son expenses....dec I gave her and her family 93k (50k for the parents)..........no wonder the father called on new year to bring the baby to visit him.....I gave them the money just put respect on her since I have not come to do the right thing

This year janaury....I only paid my daughter sch fees...40k.....while she and her son collected 53k
Then on the 26th she asked for her febuary allowance and money for dedication..I gave her 60k.......
The problem now is that on the 17th feb she asked for money I told her to wait till month so I will give her moni for both her sch stuff and allowance before she started vomitting rubbish that if it were my daughter n mother that requested moni I will run and send it
That the other day my daughter was not feeling fine I sent money but I refuse to respond now that she said her son is not fine
Also that the land my mum bought for me,she knows her son is not included but just me and my daughter
Lastly what does she really benefit from me self

The bible say....he that is faithful/grateful in little will be faithful/grateful in much..
She is very ungrateful and is too early for her to see my daughter as a rival
Is not healthy at all
I'm trying but she is not encouraging

For just this comment alone, I understand how this girl feels. You call your own son 'her son' whilst you call the other woman's child 'my daughter'. You've bonded so much with her and you clearly love her. (you should anyway, she's your daughter) But I doubt you've bonded with your son. You haven't been around him so much, so it's understandable. I won't be surprised if you use that tag 'your son' whilst talking to her. No wonder she feels maligned and unaccepted.

I sympathise with her. I understand her frustrations. You family has clearly not accepted her neither have you. I think you Mum would have preferred the first baby mama and that's why you thinking of going back to her even when it's clear that lot's water have crossed under the bridge.

It's clear your mind is already made up. leave her if you wish. I sincerely hope she finds a man better than you with even lesser stress. Hopefully this is a learning process for her too.

Amya:


For just this comment alone, I understand how this girl feels. You call your own son 'her son' whilst you call the other woman's child 'my daughter'. You've bonded so much with her and you clearly love her. (you should anyway, she's your daughter) But I doubt you've bonded with your son. You haven't been around him so much, so it's understandable. I won't be surprised if you use that tag 'your son' whilst talking to her. No wonder she feels maligned and unaccepted.

I sympathise with her. I understand her frustrations. You family has clearly not accepted her neither have you. I think you Mum would have preferred the first baby mama and that's why you thinking of going back to her even when it's clear that lot's water have crossed under the bridge.

It's clear your mind is already made up. leave her if you wish. I sincerely hope she finds a man better than you with even lesser stress. Hopefully this is a learning process for her too.

Lol
Point of correction
I'm only address the situation here so people will understand that the boy is from her while the girl is from another woman
Though i have not met with my son but he so cute and i love him so much
Every morning and evening she must send me a pix of him,i have like 6 videos of him and there no time i don't look at his pictures
He's my resemblance

Don't get it twist

Amya:


For just this comment alone, I understand how this girl feels. You call your own son 'her son' whilst you call the other woman's child 'my daughter'. You've bonded so much with her and you clearly love her. (you should anyway, she's your daughter) But I doubt you've bonded with your son. You haven't been around him so much, so it's understandable. I won't be surprised if you use that tag 'your son' whilst talking to her. No wonder she feels maligned and unaccepted.

I sympathise with her. I understand her frustrations. You family has clearly not accepted her neither have you. I think you Mum would have preferred the first baby mama and that's why you thinking of going back to her even when it's clear that lot's water have crossed under the bridge.

It's clear your mind is already made up. leave her if you wish. I sincerely hope she finds a man better than you with even lesser stress. Hopefully this is a learning process for her too.

Exactly, I was going to say this as well. You are not bonded to your son at all. Why do YOU think she changed since you said sh wasn't like this before. You ever to come to nigeria to reconnect with her. The long distance rel is a real problem, believe me I know.

Come see your fiancée sit her down and reaffirm your commitment to her and your son. It seems you are not really commited because you have your 1st baby mama waiting in the wings