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The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 - Jokes Etc (3) - Nairaland

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Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by abdul4new(m): 7:22pm On Mar 03, 2015
PointB:
The Tribulation of Jonah Chapter Two verse 1-20

1. And there arose another terror leader from the ashes of Konduga, E-Cow he is called (for the terror leaders are name after cows). And thus did E-cow, address King Jonah the Able, son of Locki! “I am alive, I am SheCow, the one who was, the one who shall come! I shall annihilate you, your country and your people.”

2. Thereupon King Jonah the Able, son of Locki entreated his allies in the West saying, “Harken good people of the West, E-cow and his band of brigands seek to bring ruins to my kingdom, do send me your best chariots, swords, cross bows, shields in exchange for gold and silver coins.”

3. Thus did they answer, “We would not trade our chariots and shields in exchange for your gold, least you continue to harm women and children with them.”

4. And they would not hearken to his supplications even as E-cow continue to torment the people, but would rather threaten any and all who sought to help saying, "Don’t offer weapon to King Jonah the Able, son of Locki, least he destroys his country and people with them.”

5. And they received King Jonah the Able, son of Locki gold and silver coins, but will offer no weapons or shield in exchange.

6. Whereupon E-cow the bandit did continue to lay waste to the country side, burning, looting, killing and taking as slaves men, women and children.

7. And e-cow erected tents, and above them hanged his banners bearing the name of his god and message of death.

8. And the zealot, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, thus address the people, “Lo, King Jonah the Able, son of Locki is weak and wretched, he cannot defend you against E-cow and his bandits, O good people hearken. Make me King over you instead of Jonah, and I shall defeat E-cow!"

9. And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus address the people, Atif son of Tifku, Tifni son Nubu, Sara son or Raki, Ob son Jeh (these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able son of Locki, and several kings before him).

10. The others were Ameh the Swift, Son of Echi (for he’s swift in running errands), and Roch the Sly, son of Cha.

11. But the people spoke against him saying[i] “Are you not the zealot king who put our fathers in dungeons, beat our children with horse-whips, enslaved our young men in fear and worry, and destroyed our windmills. Surely, you would do worse if given another chance!”
[/i]
12. Another arose saying, “Is this not our ancient king, Mumu the son of Hari the cattle herder, wherefore did he learn the modern art of statesmanship? Show therefore thy seal of knowledge, that we may know that thou art indeed learned, diligent and able to lead us”

13. Whereupon, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger did address the people saying, “Verily, I swear by our laws, my seal of knowledge rests in the chamber of stronghold in the custody of their high scribe! Now let us hasten to make me king that I may defeat e-cow!”

14. But the people continue to murmur saying “He spoke untrue words; he possesses no seal of knowledge. Show us thy seal of knowledge!”

15. Unbeknownst to the people, King Jonah the Able, son of Locki had sent emissaries to allies in the east saying, “Hearken good people of the East, E-cow and his band of brigands seek to bring ruins to my kingdom, do hasten and send me your best chariots, swords, crossbows, shields in exchange for gold and silver coins.” " And the people from the East sent large numbers of chariots, swords, crossbows, shield and other weapons of warfare in exchange for gold and silver coins.

16. And Mini the Son of Mah addressed the people saying ”We cannot elect a king now as e-cow threaten us, pray therefore that before the onset of the second month, we and our allies shall crush e-cow and his gangs.”

17. And Mini son of Mah took the weapons and gave them to thousand men. And Mini son of Mah set the men against the tents of E-cow and his bands of brigands, and routed them. E-cow fled to his fortress in the wilderness of Sambisa. But Mini the son of Mah and his men would not relent; they pursued them and many of them were felled by the swords, and many were captured.

18. And King Jonah the Able, son of Locki addressed Mini the son Mah and his men saying[i] “Never again will E-cow threaten us!” And the men responded chanting, “Never Again! Never Again!!” [/i]

19. And there was great rejoicing among the people of the land and they also chant, “Never Again! Never Again!!”

20. These are the tribulation of King Jonah the Able, son of Locki. The other deeds of King Jonah the Able, son of Locki are written in the Chronicles of Jonah. How he defeated the Tura cabal, outfoxed the old generals, caged ex-king Ob son of Jeh, rebuilt rails and road, reform power, fought corruption with modern tools and all, and are they not written in the Chronicles of Jonah?
Trash only fit for dustbin

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Chykechin(f): 7:22pm On Mar 03, 2015
Wow
The best article ever
Your really talented
I didn't stop till the finish
Abeg More of the Chapters of Jonah the son of Locki, Biko

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by kekakuz(m): 7:25pm On Mar 03, 2015
don't like it ok
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by PointB: 7:25pm On Mar 03, 2015
ikevin:
While I must appreciate your imagination brof, from your work I gueSs u're from the Christian faith, if so, it is really appaling you spitting on the bible just to express your hatred towards a candidate, going ahead to add and subtract from the word of God, I really hope you appreciate the curses from God's mouth about those who do such. I am just a regular guy on the street but I really think this is taking it too far. You don't win votes through this.

Guy there is nothing like 'spitting' on the Bible, it's simply usage of language! The original bible wasn't even written it English! If I were to write it in Igbo or Yoruba or Hausa would you be saying same thing? Guy take a chill pill and relax, you are not God, nor do you speak for Him!

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Achilies(m): 7:27pm On Mar 03, 2015
Permission to copy and paste o..
Guy 50000,00000000,00000 likes

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Onliie(m): 7:28pm On Mar 03, 2015
Kzinne:
Look at what nigerians call creativity. no wonder the country is still in mess today. this is plagiarism at its worst. i hope you realize that words of the bible are subject to copyright (in this case the KING JAMES VERSION translation). its clear u only lifted words off and planted urs. it took years for the king james version which u dubbed to be put together. its only appropriate u acknowledge the source and STOP ABUSING THE WORD OF GOD.
na you be original mumu.

9 Likes

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Achilies(m): 7:30pm On Mar 03, 2015
[color=#006600][/color]
ikevin:
While I must appreciate your imagination brof, from your work I gueSs u're from the Christian faith, if so, it is really appaling you spitting on the bible just to express your hatred towards a candidate, going ahead to add and subtract from the word of God, I really hope you appreciate the curses from God's mouth about those who do such. I am just a regular guy on the street but I really think this is taking it too far. You don't win votes through this.

Don't be a fanatic.

2 Likes

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by emmadejust(m): 7:30pm On Mar 03, 2015
bros u no say na wahala u dey fine ooo

make you Prepare helmet and sox to protect yourself
from the stones Which wil be throw at your direction

POINTB...........
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by rarelaone(m): 7:30pm On Mar 03, 2015
when God said let there be light ,Jonah present this to us.

3 Likes

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by eminent007(m): 7:34pm On Mar 03, 2015
i tip my hat to u sir.



absolutely fabulous cool
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Ezemust: 7:35pm On Mar 03, 2015
1 bt of origin for d op.(holy origin)
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by DobleO7: 7:37pm On Mar 03, 2015
A good piece, I must confess.
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by ify84(m): 7:39pm On Mar 03, 2015
POINT B..... ur full name, let me add it as I share on Facebook
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Nobody: 7:40pm On Mar 03, 2015
.L0pht needs to put this thing in an eternal loop angry
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by PointB: 7:40pm On Mar 03, 2015
ify84:
POINT B..... ur full name, let me add it as I share on Facebook


PointB will be just fine. You are free to share!
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by chiefbamo(m): 7:41pm On Mar 03, 2015
Birlliant!!!I'm pro buhari,but truth is this is simply birlliant!!

5 Likes

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Jlow2: 7:42pm On Mar 03, 2015
nice one, but i will not vote jona..

2 Likes

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by fritiyo: 7:42pm On Mar 03, 2015
Bros,I show my deepest respect to this ur work.

u should be awarded with the ward of excellent piece literally of work.

Thanks for d good work.

2 Likes

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by vicoloni(m): 7:42pm On Mar 03, 2015
This is outright plagiarism! Check the Facebook timeline of a Nigerian based in Canada (Lanre Okunola) and see for yourselves. Check also the dates on his write ups.

Why would someone be taking credit for something he did not create? It beats my imagination o

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by UjSizzle(f): 7:45pm On Mar 03, 2015
She-Cow. Tickles grin

PointB you're good kiss

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Daniel058(m): 7:46pm On Mar 03, 2015
PointB:
The Tribulation of Jonah, Chapter One Verse 1 - 24

1. In the fourth year of the reign of Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, prosperity was upon the land, and there was grains and tubers in abundance.

2. Thereupon, King Jonah spoke to the people saying ''Lo, I have rebuilt the rails and the road, and given you abundant bread.

3. In my reign you have not queued endlessly for oil. I have reformed power and made our nation prosperous.

4. Reward me, O great people. Let me lead you to further greatness!''


5. In those days, there arose from far North a barbarian horde which lay waste to the country side, burning, looting, killing and taking as slaves men, women and children.

6. They were led by brutish commanders named after cows.

7. The people cried out and say, "O King, may you live long and defeat all your enemies. Alas, She-cow and his bands of terrorists do make life difficult for us. They burn our houses, loot our barns, kill our men, take as slaves men, women and children, and they take our lands.

8. O good King, put to the sword this terror leader and his hordes.”


9. Wherefore Jonah the Able, Son of Locki dispatched his trusted commander, Ihe the son of Rika.

10. Ihe the Son of Rika took thousand men and fell upon Shecow and his band of terrorists in the battle of Baga.

11. Shecow fled with his men to the wilderness of Sambisa. But Ihe the Son of Rika pursued them deep into the deadly forest (for he had swore to crush them), and he put to the sword several of them, including Shecow who died of his wound.

12. Thereupon, Ihe the son of Rika retired, and returned to his home.

13. And there arose a certain zealot, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger. Thus did he address Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, “You are killing my people for a cause started by your people.

14. “O, wicked King, you rode your people in the best chariot, gave them gold , land and plough when they arose against the nation, but you put arrows and spears into mine for same deed.”

15. “Most assuredly I say to you, I shall take your crown and right all the wrongs you have done.”


16. And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus address the king, Atif son of Tifku, Tifni son of Nubu, Sara son of Raki, Ob son of Jeh (many of these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able son of Locki, and several kings before him).

17. The others were Ameh the Swift, Son of Echi (for he’s swift in running errands), and Roch the Sly, son of Cha.

18. Thereafter, arose another terror leader, He-Cow (for the terror leaders are named after cows).

19. He butchered male children as they learn in peace, and the female he took in their number as slaves and wives.

20. And thus did he taunt King Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, ''I have taken your daughters. I shall sell them as slaves, and marry them off to my warriors. Repent and follow my god and my way, or I shall destroy you and those who follow you!''

21. But King Jonah the Able, Son of Locki would not budge. He dispatched Mini the son of Mah, another trusted general.

22. Mini the son of Mah descended upon He-Cow in the battle of Kondunga, slaying him and those who follow him.

23. And Mini the son of Mah addressed the people saying, “Behold He-cow lifeless body as it lay dead among his terror band. Verily, verily, I say to you, same fate shall be meted to any and all who go by the name of cow, and ply terror as trade!''

24. And there was great rejoicing among the people, for they saw the body of He-cow, who tormented them, among the dead!
(Chapter Two coming)
point nwa B, GWAM EZIOKWU," ISO na ndi amamihe ito ahu gara nye JIZOS ONYINYE MGBE AMURU YA N'IME ULO ANU??

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by PointB: 7:51pm On Mar 03, 2015
vicoloni:
This is outright plagiarism! Check the Facebook timeline of a Nigerian based in Canada (Lanre Okunola) and see for yourselves. Check also the dates on his write ups.

Why would someone be taking credit for something he did not create? It beats my imagination o

lol,

Maybe you should send him message and ask how he got it, that's after you have verified the date and time. And don't forget to check my Chronicle of Ikenna ( [url]https://www.nairaland.com/1479969/chronicle-ikenna-chapter-1-1-35 [/url] ) before embarking on your wild goose chase.

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Nobody: 8:04pm On Mar 03, 2015
.
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by lovat(m): 8:07pm On Mar 03, 2015
PointB:


Cool, thanks again. It's hard to squeeze many details in those verses.
this is awesome, I'm in awe of the write up. If you are the real author of this write up, I'd say you are a Guru. Congrats bro. I don steal am to my FB page

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by lovat(m): 8:14pm On Mar 03, 2015
Kzinne:
Look at what nigerians call creativity. no wonder the country is still in mess today. this is plagiarism at its worst. i hope you realize that words of the bible are subject to copyright (in this case the KING JAMES VERSION translation). its clear u only lifted words off and planted urs. it took years for the king james version which u dubbed to be put together. its only appropriate u acknowledge the source and STOP ABUSING THE WORD OF GOD.
swerve abeg, let's enjoy a gud work. Don't be more catholic than the pope

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Nobody: 8:14pm On Mar 03, 2015
Tifni son of Nubu grin

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Nobody: 8:18pm On Mar 03, 2015
When did writing style becom plagiarism
Na king james language be that
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Nobody: 8:18pm On Mar 03, 2015
.
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by jarmy: 8:20pm On Mar 03, 2015
great post! tell us more about yourself. I love the way you create a world with words
Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by Nobody: 8:20pm On Mar 03, 2015
WAOO... I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING OUT LOUD AND MY ROOMIE IS LIKE 'BABE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?........AM VERY IMPRESSED WITH THIS IN FACT I LOVE YOU

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by killjoy(m): 8:22pm On Mar 03, 2015
PointB:
The Tribulation of Jonah, Chapter One Verse 1 - 24

1. In the fourth year of the reign of Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, prosperity was upon the land, and there was grains and tubers in abundance.

2. Thereupon, King Jonah spoke to the people saying ''Lo, I have rebuilt the rails and the road, and given you abundant bread.

3. In my reign you have not queued endlessly for oil. I have reformed power and made our nation prosperous.

4. Reward me, O great people. Let me lead you to further greatness!''


5. In those days, there arose from far North a barbarian horde which lay waste to the country side, burning, looting, killing and taking as slaves men, women and children.

6. They were led by brutish commanders named after cows.

7. The people cried out and say, "O King, may you live long and defeat all your enemies. Alas, She-cow and his bands of terrorists do make life difficult for us. They burn our houses, loot our barns, kill our men, take as slaves men, women and children, and they take our lands.

8. O good King, put to the sword this terror leader and his hordes.”


9. Wherefore Jonah the Able, Son of Locki dispatched his trusted commander, Ihe the son of Rika.

10. Ihe the Son of Rika took thousand men and fell upon Shecow and his band of terrorists in the battle of Baga.

11. Shecow fled with his men to the wilderness of Sambisa. But Ihe the Son of Rika pursued them deep into the deadly forest (for he had swore to crush them), and he put to the sword several of them, including Shecow who died of his wound.

12. Thereupon, Ihe the son of Rika retired, and returned to his home.

13. And there arose a certain zealot, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger. Thus did he address Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, “You are killing my people for a cause started by your people.

14. “O, wicked King, you rode your people in the best chariot, gave them gold , land and plough when they arose against the nation, but you put arrows and spears into mine for same deed.”

15. “Most assuredly I say to you, I shall take your crown and right all the wrongs you have done.”


16. And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus address the king, Atif son of Tifku, Tifni son of Nubu, Sara son of Raki, Ob son of Jeh (many of these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able son of Locki, and several kings before him).

17. The others were Ameh the Swift, Son of Echi (for he’s swift in running errands), and Roch the Sly, son of Cha.

18. Thereafter, arose another terror leader, He-Cow (for the terror leaders are named after cows).

19. He butchered male children as they learn in peace, and the female he took in their number as slaves and wives.

20. And thus did he taunt King Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, ''I have taken your daughters. I shall sell them as slaves, and marry them off to my warriors. Repent and follow my god and my way, or I shall destroy you and those who follow you!''

21. But King Jonah the Able, Son of Locki would not budge. He dispatched Mini the son of Mah, another trusted general.

22. Mini the son of Mah descended upon He-Cow in the battle of Kondunga, slaying him and those who follow him.

23. And Mini the son of Mah addressed the people saying, “Behold He-cow lifeless body as it lay dead among his terror band. Verily, verily, I say to you, same fate shall be meted to any and all who go by the name of cow, and ply terror as trade!''

24. And there was great rejoicing among the people, for they saw the body of He-cow, who tormented them, among the dead!
(Chapter Two coming)


respect man. u r a maestro in d making. will work with u weñ I hv made inof money to hire a brain lyk u. in d mean tym, let me follow u

1 Like

Re: The Tribulation Of Jonah, Chapter One Verses 1 - 24, Chapter Two Verses 1 - 20 by xmich(m): 8:25pm On Mar 03, 2015
Choi Agu nnaaa idi egwu,

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