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Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage - Islam for Muslims - Nairaland

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Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by tbaba12345: 5:08pm On Sep 17, 2014
Studying for a PhD in engineering at Cambridge, she might not seem like a prime candidate to enter into a polygamous marriage.

But that is what Nabilah Phillips did, dropping out of university to become the second woman married to businessman Hasan Phillips who has since acquired a third wife.

Yesterday it emerged that Mrs Phillips, from North London, is among thousands of Muslim women entering into such relationships which are illegal in the UK but allowed under sharia law which permits men to have four wives.

A new television documentary, The Men with Many Wives, exposes the rise in these unions – of which there are believed to be as many as 20,000 in Britain – and the dating agency, Muslim Marriage Event, responsible for setting many of them up.

Having already been through a divorce Mrs Phillips, 35, originally from Malaysia, signed up to a similar matrimony service specifically looking for a married man.

She told the programme: ‘I was looking for someone who had been married or was already in a marriage.

‘I was married before and having gone through one divorce, you kind of know what you want in marriage, so I wanted someone who already knows how to be a husband.

‘I really enjoy being in a polygamous relationship. We are not stupid people who are forced into this type of relationship.’

Through the service she signed up to she met 32-year-old Mr Phillips – also divorced but re-married to City worker Sakinah, 33, – and decided to abandon her studies to become his second wife.

The wives occasionally meet when Mr Phillips, who as well as being a businessman also works for a charity aiming to spread the word of Islam, organises family outings.

Nabilah Phillips said: ‘If any problem happens between co-wives it’s usually his fault. Praising somebody too much. “Why don’t you be more like her, she’s this, she’s that”. If he didn’t say that, we would all be happy.’

She has two children with Mr Phillips, who has six in total, and helps to run his import-export business. But abandoning her high-flying academic career was not her only change after she married. She also began wearing the Muslim veil, the niqab.

She told Radio Times: ‘I wanted to wear one before I got married – being married to Hasan has given me the opportunity to wear one and be steady at it. The only prejudice I have met so far has been from other Muslims.’

During filming Mr Phillips, who converted to Islam from Christianity when he was 16, marries a third woman, Somalia-born Anub, 41.

He did not invite his other two wives to the small ceremony, held at the local mosque, saying: ‘I don’t think it would be right to invite them. Even though they are accepting of polygamy, you don’t want to really rub it in their faces, “Look, I’m getting married”, and expect them to be happy and have a party about it.’

Each wife lives in a separate house in London and Mr Phillips spends three nights in each home before moving on to the next.





Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2757559/Woman-dropped-Cambridge-PhD-enter-polygamous-marriage-Muslim-businessman-two-wives.html#ixzz3DaamrFjw
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Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 5:13pm On Sep 17, 2014
WOW.... shocked shocked shocked
wonders shall never end...
i doubt if this can happen in 9ja...
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by AllNaijaBlogger(m): 5:43pm On Sep 17, 2014
I wish the woman all the best in her newly married life. She knows why she entered the marriage. It is her decision.

I am surprised that this happened in the UK. I don't think the law will recognise their marriage. This could be a problem for her, though
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Empiree: 4:39am On Feb 26, 2015
AllNaijaBlogger:
I wish the woman all the best in her newly married life. She knows why she entered the marriage. It is her decision.

I am surprised that this happened in the UK. I don't think the law will recognise their marriage. This could be a problem for her, though
Who cares what UK thinks
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 12:58am On Feb 27, 2015
Stop trying to entice us with Musinah

This is the same issue I have with MSSN

Musinah this Musinah that

We know it is allowed but it is not obligatory and it is up to our discretions to either accept or not.

3 Likes

Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 1:03am On Feb 27, 2015
How is her leaving her high paying job such a big deal

Do you relise how hard it is to meet Muslims sisters in reputable positions in the UK. Not all Muslim sisters have the luxury to have husbands raking the money enough to pay the bills.

In one word this news is trying to entice us with being satisfied with just rearing the kids and waiting for our husband's new wives.


Disclaimer

I have nothing against Musinah, I don't mind only if I do not care about my husband that much. All I am trying to say is ypubguys should stop psycing us to accept Musinah or take the back role.

1 Like

Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Empiree: 1:44am On Feb 27, 2015
Justfollowit:
Stop trying yonentice us with Musinah

This is the same issue I have with MSSN

Musinah this Musinah that

We know it is allowed but it is not obligatory and it is up to our discretions to either accept or not.
Lol, I don't think that's the objective here. You think too much
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 2:12am On Feb 27, 2015
Empiree:
Lol, I don't think that's the objective here. You think too much

For the past six years if not more

The Muslim society had been about Musinah and how Muslim women should be ready to take the back seat.

I am not saying a woman shuls not be submissive or prioritise her home first. But the way it is being done in it society makes me think and stinky believe they have some ulterior motive. The issue of Musinah is even more important than death itself as it stands presently (and yes I am exggerating).

What is the essence of this post? How is it news? What is the moral side to it?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Empiree: 2:30am On Feb 27, 2015
Justfollowit:


[size=4pt]For the past six years if not more

The Muslim society had been about Musinah and how Muslim women should be ready to take the back seat.

I am not saying a woman shuls not be submissive or prioritise her home first. But the way it is being done in it society makes me think and stinky believe they have some ulterior motive. The issue of Musinah is even more important than death itself as it stands presently (and yes I am exggerating).

What is the essence of this post? How is it news? What is the moral side to it?[/size]
It's alright. Dont worry yourself too much over this. You said it yourself, it's optional and everyone knows that. Besides, e je ka jo komo lubo. That na Yoruba proverb literally translates "make una get along". Correct?
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 2:32am On Feb 27, 2015
Empiree:
It's alright. Dont worry yourself too much over this. You said it yourself, it's optional and everyone knows that. Besides, e je ka jo komo lubo. That na Yoruba proverb literally translates "make una get along". Correct?

OK
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Truckpusher(m): 3:02am On Feb 27, 2015
Justfollowit:
How is her leaving her high paying job such a big deal

Do you relise how hard it is to meet Muslims sisters in reputable positions in the UK. Not all Muslim sisters have the luxury to have husbands raking the money enough to pay the bills.

In one word this news is trying to entice us with being satisfied with just rearing the kids and waiting for our husband's new wives.


Disclaimer

I have nothing against Musinah, I don't mind only if I do not care about my husband that much. All I am trying to say is ypubguys should stop psycing us to accept Musinah or take the back role.

In Islam? You must be dreaming .
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 9:21am On Feb 27, 2015
Truckpusher:
In Islam? You must be dreaming .

I do not understand you?
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Truckpusher(m): 11:50am On Feb 27, 2015
Justfollowit:


I do not understand you?
You understood me clearly.
Islam demands total submission from the woman to the man and here you are trying to bend that ideology because of your western culture where you live in which has tainted you and acculturated your traditional Islamic belief system and I have been following Islam closely for sometimes now and I'm telling you in all sincerity that it's not possible to mix a little bit of Western ideology and Islamic fundamental belief system unless you're living in self denial.
Did I make sense to you?

1 Like

Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 12:02pm On Feb 27, 2015
Truckpusher:
You understood me clearly.
Islam demands total submission from the woman to the man and here you are trying to bend that ideology because of your western culture where you live in which has tainted you and acculturated your traditional Islamic belief system and I have been following Islam closely for sometimes now and I'm telling you in all sincerity that it's not possible to mix a little bit of Western ideology and Islamic fundamental belief system unless you're living in self denial.
Did I make sense to you?

Islam requires total submission but that does not men we can not make demands. In the case of polygamy, a woman may or may not accept the other wife. She could ask for a divorce or separation and she is under no obligation to agree to his wish. It is an option not a requirement.

The same applies to situations like an abusive relationship or where he fails to privide for adequate needs or does things that greatly displeases her, she could even divorce him for no reasonable reason.

2 Likes

Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Truckpusher(m): 12:14pm On Feb 27, 2015
Justfollowit:


Islam requires total submission but that does not men we can not make demands. In the case of polygamy, a woman may or may not accept the other wife. She could ask for a divorce or separation and she is under no obligation to agree to his wish. It is an option not a requirement.

The same applies to situations like an abusive relationship or where he fails to privide for adequate needs or does things that greatly displeases her, she could even divorce him for no reasonable reason.



I got your drift even as you took me on a wild run just to shake off my personal opinion of you being torn apart between western ideology on the place of the woman and your fundamental Islamic belief system.
But again - you can always speak up and not hiding under any disclaimair to make comments that might not go down well with folks that preaches and admonishes for a strict adherence to Islamic teachings as laid down by the messenger of Allah.
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 12:19pm On Feb 27, 2015
Truckpusher:
I got your drift even as you took me on a wild run just to shake off my personal opinion of you being torn apart between western ideology on the place of the woman and your fundamental Islamic belief system.
But again - you can always speak up and not hiding under any disclaimair to make comments that might not go down well with folks that preaches and admonishes for a strict adherence to Islamic teachings as laid down by the messenger of Allah.

OK

The disclaimer was never to show my neutrality on the issue of polygamy, so that they would understand where I am coming from .

1 Like

Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Truckpusher(m): 12:29pm On Feb 27, 2015
Justfollowit:


OK

The disclaimer was never to show my neutrality on the issue of polygamy, so that they would understand where I am coming from .
In other words polygamy is not something you'd consider even as a devoted Muslim?
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 12:47pm On Feb 27, 2015
Truckpusher:
In other words polygamy is not something you'd consider even as a devoted Muslim?

No, I can if I do really care about him. If the marriage is more about achieving goals like children, companionship etc. But if I really do acre him he should never consider polygamy. Besides Besides he issue of polygamy has nothing to so with being a devoted Muslim or not, it is not obligatory, it is mostly done because material factors. I can or can't be bothered about it.
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Truckpusher(m): 1:03pm On Feb 27, 2015
Justfollowit:


No, I can if I do really care about him. If the marriage is more about achieving goals like children, companionship etc. But if I really do acre him he should never consider polygamy. Besides Besides he issue of polygamy has nothing to so with being a devoted Muslim or not, it is not obligatory, it is mostly done because material factors. I can or can't be bothered about it.

Case closed but on a second thought where did you learn how to answer questions with so much ambiguity that the person with an interest would almost give up because you're blowing hot and cold at the same time sending a mixed signal?

I would love to be like you. cheesy
I bet you're cunning? grin
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 1:15pm On Feb 27, 2015
Truckpusher:
Case closed but on a second thought where did you learn how to answer questions with so much ambiguity that the person with an interest would almost give up because you're blowing hot and cold at the same time sending a mixed signal?

I would love to be like you. cheesy
I bet you're cunning? grin

Really shocked
I had no idea
Is it a good thing?

Cunning in a good way or in a bad way?
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Truckpusher(m): 1:21pm On Feb 27, 2015
Justfollowit:


Really shocked
I had no idea
Is it a good thing?

Cunning in a good way or in a bad way?
Tongue tied lipsrsealed
I won't say anything that will make you feel ...... cheesy

But you're good at what you do and how you do it. grin
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 1:23pm On Feb 27, 2015
Truckpusher:
Tongue tied lipsrsealed
I won't say anything that will make you feel ...... cheesy

But you're good at what you do and how you do it. grin

Spit it out, please
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by maclatunji: 7:30am On Mar 06, 2015
Justfollowit:
Stop trying to entice us with Musinah

This is the same issue I have with MSSN

Musinah this Musinah that

We know it is allowed but it is not obligatory and it is up to our discretions to either accept or not.

You are overly obsessed with this issue and it is not healthy. There are more than enough Muslim men that marry only one wife. Therefore, your obsession with polygamy is totally unnecessar. You can analyse all-you-want, those that will engage in it will do so, why not enjoy peace on the issue?
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 1:32pm On Mar 06, 2015
maclatunji:


You are overly obsessed with this issue and it is not healthy. There are more than enough Muslim men that marry only one wife. Therefore, your obsession with polygamy is totally unnecessar. You can analyse all-you-want, those that will engage in it will do so, why not enjoy peace on the issue?

You are right but you should also k ow that my obsession has a continuing triggers.
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by maclatunji: 2:59pm On Mar 06, 2015
Justfollowit:


You are right but you should also k ow that my obsession has a continuing triggers.

You need to cool down and experience more of Muslims from a wider perspective. I saw your post on the change of name thread too, it reflects a certain level of misconception on Islamic concepts. Just relax a little.

1 Like

Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by Nobody: 4:12pm On Mar 06, 2015
maclatunji:


You need to cool down and experience more of Muslims from a wider perspective. I saw your post on the change of name thread too, it reflects a certain level of misconception on Islamic concepts. Just relax a little.


My father's name is his real name not his surname. I did not bother to read the article because the title suggested differently. Fatimah was known as , Fatimah bint Muhammad not Fatimah bint Quraish

Thanks for being so nice
Re: Woman Who Dropped Out Of Cambridge Phd To Enter Into Polygamous Marriage by maclatunji: 4:58pm On Mar 06, 2015
Justfollowit:



My father's name is his real name not his surname. I did not bother to read the article because the title suggested differently. Fatimah was known as , Fatimah bint Muhammad not Fatimah bint Quraish

Thanks for being so nice

So your point is? Now, we can talk about culture. Your father's name is incomplete without a Surname. What you have pointed out is the best, what I am saying is the next best, abandoning your father’s surname is worse.

I think you might be able to see how it cascades down.

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