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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! (40994 Views)
As A Husband, Or Wife, Who Will You Make Your Next Of Kin / Why You Should Be Careful In Choosing Your Next Of Kin (Photos) / My Brother In Law (sister's Husby) Is Becoming Too Rude For My Liking... (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by ladygogo: 4:16pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sad, sad state of affairs! |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 4:17pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Justfollowit: Thank you jare!! this thread is a real eye opener. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 4:21pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Op, dnt ever make the mistake of getting pregnant. If you try it, you will regret it!! 2 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Ewuro4: 4:45pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dyt: As in No savings, No pension plan, no life insurance, no will... Waiting for a man's benefit? This is why people belittle women. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Dyt(f): 4:49pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Singing This love Can trouble one Abi how patoranking and tiwa sing am Actually I think every woman who has a hrt of gold cld give everything to her man, I have been there, done that, infact given all he thinks I had but not for once don't I have a backup I am a very bad lover Ewuro4: 2 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by lighternote: 4:57pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
https://www.nairaland.com/1838365/suggestions-new-marriage Op sef, barely a year into ur marriage with this ur supposed prince charming, you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. What if he used that before he got married to you? What stops you from ironing it out with him as your dear hubby instead of running to nairalanders? Concentrate on having a child first if you are interested in that and then ask him to change the next of kin to ur child in due time. This one no be issue now, abeg. 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 4:57pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Justfollowit: Lol...so what else do you want me to tell you? What would you have her do? Fight her husband? Drag him to court? NO! I'm simply letting her know that she should not take offense yet, not till she discusses with her husband to know his reasons for acting the way he did. In time, everything will become clear. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Ewuro4: 5:05pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dyt: But frankly, Some information are best remained confidential and any sensible & understanding partner should understand this as a norm. Will and insurance details are confidential. No peeking. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Dyt(f): 5:08pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Ewuro4: Trust me she wld act better now I can do 2 things here depending on my Jezebel mood Get me a property and purposely put on the bed where its boldly written in my name, maiden self 2. I can't think right now, but trust me I won't say a word to him abt it |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Dyt(f): 5:09pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
lighternote: Have u been reading? She said it was dated Feb abi March 2015 Pipo are winckend 2 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by precisionindepth: 5:54pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Jackeeh:welcome to d real world! I remembered how my mother suffered with my dad, going extra mile to Mk tinz better for d family. few yrs b4 he died, my mum said he just decided to change d beneficiary at hs place of work to my mothers name despite DT hs brother collected all my dads property and car den .even now too he is dead too. we suffered en, it was just God on our side. my advice, pls v ur own alc Mk ur own money, whatever both of u shd contribute to housekeep, do but mkbsure u v ur own stuffs and investment. such a man can even marry another wife and will everytin BT of u v worked 4 to her. 6 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by urchbarbie(f): 6:34pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Swt@! Get an account opening form. Fill it and use ur mums names as d next of kin. Put d forms whr u tink he may see it without getting suspicious. Hopefully he wld see it, and if he doesn't say anytin abt it, keep mum. Start ur own personal savings with ur maiden name too. Tnx! Wish u d best in settling dis issue BritneyStacy: 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 7:06pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
TheRainmaker1: I admit I was too hasty in my conclusion I hate the fact that this type of issue is judged based on gender. What is wrong with being considerate and altruistic? Maybe I am just different o 1 Like |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by babygirlfl: 7:54pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
In situations like this, I blame the woman. When will some Nigerian women stop making themselves victims. Stop giving too much power to a human being even though he is your husband because anybody can change at anytime. Don't put yourself in a situation where you are at the mercy of your husband. Men hardly put themselves in such situation. How many times have you heard a man and woman build a house together and document it in the woman's name only. I do not understand why women think it's OK to do that. You are contributing and you don't insist and make sure your name is in the documents? You won't bother about his will if your name is in the documents as he will only be able to will his share to whoever he wants. Even when you are a housewife (at the agreement of the two of you) you should insist that your name is in the documents or you go back to work, make your own money and build your own house in your name. Men worry about their wife remarrying after their demise and yet some women think there is nothing wrong in polygamy. 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 7:55pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy:OP you have learned. Start your own savings account pronto. A Nigerian woman I know is in a situation like yours but they've been married for 20+ years and nothing has changed. She spent so much of her own money before and after marriage, brought him into the UK, sent money home to his family when he had no job, sacrificed her own preferred career for her children, and tries hard to give them all a good life with little help from him. His family in Nigeria are his beneficiaries (although he's not wealthy tbh). She's always told me never to expect much from my husband; she's extremely bitter about how things have turned out, but has managed to save and build a house in her part of Nigeria to give to her children. Hold your head up and start afresh. If this is the kind of marriage your husband wants then don't forget to look after yourself. I'd not suggest you try and get pregnant right now either. 4 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 7:58pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
babygirlfl:Amen! 3 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by freecocoa(f): 8:02pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
coderXO:What is this supposed to mean? So you go into marriage hoping to get to trust your partner or what? Aren't you supposed to already have crossed that hurdle before reaching the point of marriage? 4 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by yaskarahyelhope(f): 8:31pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy: Don't be offended with wat am abt to say. Lemmy ask did? Women do U marry yo be ya husband's next of kin? If its for ya children, then its a good one. Except if U just married him for ya money or expecting a lot from d family or had joint business with him. I do not wish to marry man and want him to make me his next of kin. Although marriage from d registry covers it and it must be so. But for U to start getting jittery coz U just found out that U aren't his next of kin, am not happy at ol. Confronting is good but be matured abt it. Pls don't make him feel like a much on it. Ask him politely coz as thick as men think they are, they are bigger babies. But nonetheless, like I said, except if U av a share in d house and there are papers to it, hand over to God. These days some little things in d family looks magnanimous that d husband can easily misquote. But pls, they and hold on to ya work and share ya things to ya children. If he cant fix U, let his children be. Make Una no crucify me O. Am an independent lady and pray to God to get a sensible man who will know his responsibility and not come after my salary. Oshe! |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by cococandy(f): 8:33pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
babygirlfl:@bold is quite funny. Some people don't want to rest when they die They will still hover around as monitoring spirits to police their wives so she won't cheat on their ghosts 7 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by username792: 8:33pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
nedu2000: From this comment I would say that you apppear to be quite a spiteful and immature individual, hence the last person able to give sound advice on mature things like mariage. Mr Nedu please look at the mirror 10 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by babygirlfl: 8:53pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
cococandy: lol 2 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by andyanders: 9:02pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
BritneyStacy: Madam, having gone through your write- up, I deduce this that you are surely into bondage and been taken advantage of as I believe that you married a fraud.I am sorry to use that word. How can you be taken advantage of up to the point that you were asked by a man you are married to and he is not ready for children and if you get pregnant, that you are on your own? I now ask you; are you into BONDAGE or are you blind to note that this man is deceiving you? Were you been blindfolded spiritually or that you do not know what you want as a grown up? In fact it is even better that you do not have a child for such a man and you can walk out of this relationship because there is no light along the tunnel. One should note that you do not marry out of sympathy. One should not marry out of sympathy. I believe that he is taking his time to establish himself and come one day, he would take another woman. Find your way by taking a walk. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Idowuogbo(f): 9:43pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Dyt(f): 9:51pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by bukatyne(f): 10:06pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
And What is This selfishness with If the man dies and the women remarries? Why doesn't the man kill her? That is 100% guaranteed. A wife invests her life in contribution to the common wealth of the family and the husband thinks she is not trustworthy enough to be his NOK? Is marriage compulsory? If you cannot do right, why don't you just stay single? @OP: In This case, trust but verify. Open a new account and learn to be financially prudent and build your own wealth. After a while you are no longer desperate, you can ask why he did So. Right now you are thinking you committed all and he betrayed you. Don't discuss with him now. You need a calm head. Modified: forget about confronting him sef and work on yourself. Forget securing your place in the marriage... you are not a security woman. Since his condition is that you train the kid alone, tell him you have considered it and are willing to cater for the baby till he can find his feet. Go ahead and have it. Open a new account fast! 3 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by oyibo4real: 10:16pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
andyanders: andyanders: Exactly my thought jare! I've said it b4, probably d man have seen dat his wife is d hardwrkin type n also generous too, n he's nw using her 2 build his 'empire', only 2 be thrown out later. Otherwise, why would he nt want 2 raise children nw, wen its obvious dat dey can confidently take care of their children? Girl u better b wise oo! 2 Likes |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 10:16pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Justfollowit: Lol@ your being different. I don't think you're being different; I think you're misunderstanding me. I'm not judging based on gender. I'd probably say the same thing if it were the husband complaining that the wife didn't choose him for her next-of-kin. I'm a proponent of gender equality, but I also believe that when two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together in marriage, then they should be committed to resolving whatever differences arising between them amicably. I believe in proper communication any day, rather than rash actions and claiming of 'rights', which would only lead to more trouble. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by Nobody: 11:42pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Next of kin issue always bring dispute in Nigeria,because in most families they are already depending on that which makes them carefree about working hard to get their own . No wonder the whites always will everything to the CHARITY to avoid cases like this. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by coderXO(m): 1:36am On Mar 19, 2015 |
freecocoa: Simple relationship math. A couple who have been together 20 years will have a greater bond than newly weds. Simple. |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by coderXO(m): 1:45am On Mar 19, 2015 |
If the world was ruled and governed by these NL members posting Shiite on this thread, it would've been pure chaos. Shiite! What a hapless set of morons. Thank God for normal people sha. I appreciate them more now reading what all these retards are offering |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by funkyjms: 12:26pm On Mar 19, 2015 |
SirShymexx: I strongly agree with that. NOK/will issue should be dependent on who you can trust the most. Nevertheless, nuclear family should be the choice provided trust is earned. Where there is no trust, an alternative might be considered but there should be a clause (reasonable share) in fairness to the wife/children. BTW Sirshymexx, if you trust her as much as you trust your sisters, I know you would pick her or your still believe blood is always thicker than water? |
Re: Rude Awakening: I Am Not My Husband's Next Of Kin And Beneficiary!! by funkyjms: 12:32pm On Mar 19, 2015 |
coderXO: This message must also be passed in action. |
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