My focus today is on "Asoebi". This is a Yoruba word which simply means, ‘Cloth of the family’. The word used to denote family, but now friends are also associated with it. Asoebi ranges from Ankara to Lace, Satin and even Velvet materials. While I do not have any problem with the concept itself as it makes a party colourful, I have an issue with how some people turn it into a money making scheme. I have a problem with how some people sell their asoebi at such ridiculous prices. Sometimes I wonder if the reason for choosing asoebi is to make the party colourful, or to make money.

Some years ago, I was badly in need of money because I was trying to get an apartment. As all the apartment I saw were expensive, I decided to cut down on my expenses so that I could afford to get one. I needed to get an apartment close to work as soon as possible because the stress of commuting from the mainland was beginning to take a toll on me. I had gotten home at midnight too many times due to traffic. Besides, it wasn’t safe for me to be out on the streets that late.

While I was still contemplating on how to cut down my expenditure, my friend called me one day and told me about the asoebi she picked for her wedding. When she told me it was N15,000, I told her I didn't have money at the moment and I reminded her how I was still trying to raise money to get an apartment. She was aware of how my apartment hunting had been going. I had been sending her pictures of every place I looked and I informed her of the rent too. I told her I would let her know as soon as I have money for the asoebi. This made my friend angry. This same friend who was well aware of what I was going through at that time, was angry that I told her to give me a little more time to get money for her asoebi.

"Shoo!!! Na me wan pay for your wedding ni?" “Abi if I no buy asoebi, wedding no go take place?" These are the questions that run through my mind when people call an outrageous amount, or get mad at me for not buying their asoebi. Why would you want to make money from people? At least, you for check your pocket before you begin dey plan wedding na. Can't you just ask your guests to wear whatever they want? Better still, why not choose the colour(s) you want and make it a theme? For example, you could ask your guests to wear gold and red. A lot of people have financial problems and buying asoebi shouldn't be one of them, especially when we have a lot of outfits we can wear to a party. Besides, we all have our priorities.

I must say, this asoebi craze has caused a lot of trouble. Some people go to the extent of borrowing money just because they don't want to upset their friend. The worst part of it is that they bug you with phone calls asking when you'd send money for the asoebi. However, once you do send the money, the calls stop coming in. How and when you'd pick up the asoebi doesn't concern them. All their interest is in the money. This simply means that they aren't bothered if you attend the party or not, as long as you buy the asoebi. These same people expect you to buy the asoebi, wedding gifts and still spray them money on the dance floor. Abegi, Dangote isn't my father.

Another annoying thing is the fact that you can get that same material at a lesser price at the market. This doesn’t mean that I'm asking you to sell it at the cost price. While a little increment is okay, doubling the price is sickening biko! Lastly, I have an issue with the favouritism shown at the parties. Sometimes, the people who bought the asoebi are treated better than the other guests. They get served first and souveniers are given to them.

Oh! Did I mention my friend told me if I don't buy the asoebi, the bouncers wouldn't let me in? Hian!! Bouncers kwa nu. Biko, I would rather sit my ass in my house. Is it chicken, rice, abi cake I haven't eaten before? With that 15k, I would buy 5 kilos of chicken/turkey, half bag of rice, cake, coke and still have some change left.

I know some people probably think I am being stingy. Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

http://www.daintysworld..co.uk/2015/05/asoebi.html?m=1

I don't really fancy it
FTC

My dear lemme gv u a piece of advice dat works for me...
1. Make up ur mind dat u will not market asoebi for ur own wedding.
2. Operate a strict policy of telling people that asoebi is not part of ur culture (if u r not from southwest)...hence u dont buy.

Trust me...it has worked and still works for me. Unless u r from the southwest!

Thanks for ur piece of advice.I really don't have a problem with people who sell. Like I said I have a problem with the outrageous amount. So I COULD sell on mine but surely not at a neck breaking price. I'm from the south south

X3MLY:
My dear lemme gv u a piece of advice dat works for me...
1. Make up ur mind dat u will not market asoebi for ur own wedding.
2. Operate a strict policy of telling people that asoebi is not part of ur culture (if u r not from southwest)...hence u dont buy.

Trust me...it has worked and still works for me. Unless u r from the southwest!

I wanna dedicate dis space to my friend Jefferson Akinsheye (SUG president FUT Minna 2011-2012). We lost him dis morning after brief illness. #peace

mtcheewww



women thread

GMB should pls Ban Ase-obi,

very unnecessary honestly

True talk..Everybody wants to make money from everybody.I hope this changes in this new administration.

Lol

If you no buy Asoebi from some people they will take you as enemy of progress.... Sometimes in a week 5 different people will bring Aso ebi for u... Imagine dt rubbish.
I don't like the ideas of Aso ebi...

I like the Concept.

Honestly...it takes courage for one to refuse buying a cloth from a 'close friend' so to say.
Cos you wouldnt wanna spoil the relationship BUT you must gain the courage.
A lot of women today find themselves in huge debts just bkos of this..
It boils to lack of discipline.
Must one attend all ceremonies?!
But Many just do things to 'please people'
yet the saying goes....if you are trying to please all,then you'l please no one.

Me sef dy hustle...u go dy tok sae may i buy asoebi worth 30k..na devil i dey pray may thunder fire but i swear...i go swear 4 dah person.

Aso ebi should not be more than an identity in a party but people don't turn am as source of income.

THEY GO SOON SAY NA ASHEBI NOT ASHOEBI. AWON COPYCOPY OSI

No Ankara, No Semo!!!

You are not stingy, its your choice, so no one can force you...

I know someone that paid 60K for one Aso Ebi, and it's been 7 months now, she's yet to completely pay the person that loaned her and it's giving her sleepless nights


We should just cut our ankara according to our size sha...


Afterall there is Wedding and there is Marriage!!!

AnneMomoh:
GMB should pls Ban Ase-obi,

very unnecessary honestly

maybe he should first of all ban that extravagant bride price in your region first.

#not tribalist though

Buying aso-ebi shouldn't be a must, if you can't buy it, don't buy it. Simple. If you won't be allowed entry into the wedding, no wahala

True talk bro... Its a very stupid and dumb trend.... Buying asoebi almost every week... Some people wardrobe don full finish sef... Even d poor people will borrow money to buy asoebi and throw extravagant parties... This mentality is making d poor poorer... A colour code should just be chosen and everyone wears something with d colours chosen .... This asoebi stuff don turn business for some people.... Nigerians just lyk deceiving themselves...

You are doing the right thing. Even if you think you are being stingy, it's your money and no one has the right to tell you how to spend it.

By the way, if she was a good friend she would have understood your plight.

Fugk friendship. Fugk aso-ebi.

aso-ebi dis aso-ebi dat they will nw share food and gifts at wedding based on the aso-ebi one is wearing...............yourba pple sef get their own for body jor.dat DR ARIYO NIGGA wont check his ngbatigbati clan before fixing igbos...thank God am not yoruba or Igbo jor...or even hausa cos these 3major tribes na dem dey cause naija problem...........LUBISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AnneMomoh:
GMB should pls Ban Ase-obi, very unnecessary honestly

lwkmd..

Good

So very tru op

In summary?

VickyRotex:
No Ankara, No Semo!!!

this is funny. Lmao!!

It's a choice.

I do not buy aso ebi, no sentiments whatsoever.

I also do not sell, or give aso ebi, i didn't even do it for my wedding! No regrets!

It's a choice you can also make, after a while people would know and respect you for it!

mikeczay:
THEY GO SOON SAY NA ASHEBI NOT ASHOEBI. AWON COPYCOPY OSI

Lmao. They say that? Personally I've heard non Yorubas call it ashebi but I don't bother correcting them cos they don't know the meaning and they might turn it into fights. Loool. Ashebi my foot!

Long story,too busy 2 read

That was one of the things I hate as a yoruba man, I have promise myself to keep buying it till when I want to wed, I won't use it so that after my own I will not buy from others.

Thanks for ds post infact I heard my friend was doing his intro from another friend he didn't tell me directly when I asked him he said he's very sorry for not telling me and the next thing he said was that "na ur cap remain self", i asked, is it an intro or traditional wedding ? Dem dey pick cap/ashoebi? The last time I checked, intro na coded arrangement btw d two families. Parent of the guy n d girl and note* only brothers and sisters that are jobless or free will grace ur intro. I later asked, So if I didn't ask you who go use d cap? To spoil matter, he said cap is 3k. #I nor buy am n I no go d intro.

ShioOoo.... Na on top aso-ebi matter make u write dis long tory? The tin don pain u wella... Lol

I no buy! O tan! That shii can lead one into gbese
...except you aint accessorizing