5 Reasons To Re-think If Marrying A God-fearing Man Is really For You!


Please this is not a recommendation or a suggestion, not even an advice for or against, rather a personal opinion for information and entertainment purposes only. Please laugh where you can, and comment where you can. No e-wars!


1. God-fearing does not men a good man: hiding in one church or the other has become one of the best ways for people to hide their dubious clandestine activities. Once you claim to be a pastor or religious Nigerians are quick to label you a ‘good person’ and give you cool nicknames as ‘brother’, ‘sister’, ‘daddy’, ‘mommy’. Therefore criminals are having a field day in Nigerian churches and ladies are learning the hard way that ‘brothers’ in church are turning out to be ritualists, fraudsters, criminals, women abusers, womanizers at home. Church is just a cover-up of ugly night activities. I will prefer a worldly man with character and values than the so-called god-fearing men.

2. He’s Not democratic: A true religious man is never a democrat in the house if he is the type that follows the teachings of the religious books strictly. Religious books are very male-centric. They are very clear on a man ‘being the head of the household’ and a woman being conservative and submissive to a man. Therefore, if you want freedom in marriage maybe you have to rethink marrying a man who wants to serve his God the way it is written in the book. You cannot eat your cake and have it. You want him to be God-fearing, yet you want to have equal rights in the house? No! No religious book (Bible or Koran) condones that except you are the type that cuts and joins quotations to justify your objectives.

3. Most Are Ladies Men: Pastors and religious men are very charismatic when they dress and preach at the pulpit. We ladies shout, scream, jump, clap and eulogize them. We fall in love with the charisma. Hei… that strength and charisma goes beyond the pulpit. Once we marry them the first thing most women would like to do is to start checking and controlling the very quality that attracted us to the men. Nope!..it’s never going to work, dear. He ‘ll remain the charismatic man, the ladies’ man, the man every lady wants to be with, the man every lady in the church worship his attire and loves, etc. That will keep you on your toes for the rest of your life. You just have to deal with that. The same applies when you marry a wealthy busy celebrity. You cannot slow him down.

4. Some have Ugly Past: Every religious man has a past and that past is actually what shapes their actions and behaviors today. The past may not be good. A former cultist or armed robber could have repented today and become mild and quiet’ it still does not stop the brutish nature from creeping in once in a while when his human nature takes over. Example, If he enjoys rough forceful s*x with women, being a born-again now isn’t going to change that in bed. Be prepared to cry in bed at least once in a while. If he grew up in a cult trusting no one around and always suspicious, being born-again now isn’t going to automatically restore his trust on u or anyone else. If he was an armed robber who shed blood, he will still pass through karma. Even Moses did for striking the rock (God) too hard, David (the man after God’s heart) did for killing a man and sleeping with his wife, St. Paul died through persecution (hanging) too. Karma is a b**tch!

5. They May Live on Faith and Lack: Truly religious men are more likely to live uprightly by turning down bribes, stealing at work, defrauding people and cheating clients. They will most likely depend on their income no matter how meager. (Please forget about the flamboyant pastors in Nigeria. The world has told us how they get rich but we choose to be naive) You are more likely to live with a man who will live on faith and manage what he has. If you love money and flamboyant lifestyle, a real and true religious man is not for you then.
They may be strict and male Chauvinist: You will have a man governed by principles and not easy to bend rules to make you happy. Most ladies will find them too strict, sometime male chauvinists and arrogant. Not the type of man who will leave Church Fellowship to help you babysit so you can go do your hair. Not the type of man who will pay bribes to get your daughter school admission, not the type of man who will jump queue at the bank to get your urgent withdrawal faster. He will live by the rules.

The Advantages

Despite all of the above you are most likely going to have a man who will be content with what he has (even little), happy with whatever you are and look like, not putting you under any pressure to look slimmer and s*exier. He’ll be most likely strong in the face of challenges/ rocky relationship, not easily influenced by the advice of relatives, friends and environment. He is the type of man who will sit by your bedside when you are sick, hold your hand and pray, see you through difficult times without complaining. But honestly you won’t have it rosy at all. I mean a true Christian, a true Muslim, a real religious man who follows the teachings.

Brb

Op, is it not easier and better if you stop overlooking men who are actually your type?


Instead of chasing endlessly in this manner.

shakazuldadon:
Brb

hmmm.... smh

As a rule I give those 'sisters and brothers' a longgggggg rope!!! They are so 'stiff' in reasoning....

just in case ... I was here

tpiadotcom:
Op, is it not easier and better if you stop overlooking men who are actually your type?


Instead of chasing endlessly in this manner.

@OP is happily married and settled down. Every female poster/writer on NL is not looking for male attention. Some of us actually get over-dose of it and that's why we share with others.. when a girl wink's at you don't just assume she wants you, maybe she's telling you that your zippers are open....so keep an open mind, dear ...

Can you define 'God' and 'God fearing' in the context of the universe?

Or you mean a man who has the fear of the unknown/elephant-in-the-room based on his belief system and the guidelines/rules set by the belief system? I believe you should know that man can have a good heart without fearing anyone or a supreme being. And how everyone deals with the supreme being is subjective based on your understanding of the universe and human existence.

Even the 'God' concept doesn't doesn't necessitate 'fear', it's a concept about the supernatural, and specific rules to enable co-existence among man, other living things/organisms, and his environment.

This has been on my mind lately. Glad you brought it up. Funny how people, in trying to describe their preferred spouse, smuggle in the clause "he/she must be God fearing". This is mostly among ladies I must acknowledge. Probing further, you find out they have no idea what it means to marry a 'God fearing person'. In their attempt to describe a man/woman who wont cheat on them, who wont be violent, who wont hang out late, who won't have female/male friends, and may I add who wont stop them from doing all of the above (hypocrites!), they just put it under the term 'God fearing man/woman'. God fearing men/women have been known to be odd balls in every way. If you're not willing to submit yourself wholly to the God of the 'God fearing' man or woman, then I cannot over emphasise how headed for a brick wall that relationship is.

we can debate dis from now till eternity, the truth is that it is more preferable and best to marry a TRUE God-fearing person than the opposite.
Besides there is a diff between a religious extremist and a God-fearing person.

TheEqualizer:
Can you define 'God' and 'God fearing' in the context of the universe?

Or you mean a man who has the fear of the unknown/elephant-in-the-room based on his belief system and the guidelines/rules set by the belief system? I believe you should know that man can have a good heart without fearing anyone or a supreme being. And how everyone deals with the supreme being is subjective based on your understanding of the universe and human existence.

Even the 'God' concept doesn't doesn't necessitate 'fear', it's a concept about the supernatural, and specific rules to enable co-existence among man, other living things/organisms, and his environment.

You are absolutely right. there are many concepts of 'god' around the world. But i am writing to Nigerians here and assume they are either predominantly Christians, Muslims, Animists, pagans or atheists. The first 3 define and accept God as a supreme being (a super-natural) and believers live under rules that govern their behaviors towards others (including women). In all researches that rule subjugates women. Don't get me wrong I am not a Religious Anthropologist. But I have this debate with my husband all the time and have learned a lot from his knowledge about world religions... all the popular religions subjugate women.

It's a thought provoking write up...keep it coming OP.

dulux07:

Besides there is a diff between a religious extremist and a God-fearing person.

Brother, actually to the secular world, there's no difference between both. Even among believers of same faith, the line is blurred.
'God fearing' men and women of all ages from all religions have been non conformists, and referred to as crazy/ religious extremists by people of their generation. I'll speak from a Christian perspective, hence examples from the Bible, and i would like to know how i rate according to your 'religious extremist thermometer'.

How would you rate me mentally in this scientific age if I said to you "God told me to build a boat to save mankind"?
How would you rate me mentally in this scientific age if I said to you "God told me to leave my family and my mansion in the city and come out and live in the wilderness with my wife and kids"?
How would you rate me mentally in this scientific age if I said to you "God told me to marry a prostitute, and no matter what she does should not divorce her"?
How would you rate me mentally in this scientific age if I said to you "Except you eat my flesh and drink my blood you have no life in you"...Etc
Crazy as they sound, these are all actions of 'God fearing' men in the Bible, and examples abound. Im sure i could find examples in the Quran and other religious books of 'God fearing' people taking strange actions.
Hence the OP stresses the point 'Re-think if marrying a God fearing man is really for you', because in this Modern feministic scientific age that we live in, his 'God' whom he 'fears' might just ask him to do something 'crazy'.

Good thread. Most women couldn't handle a God-fearing man if they got him.

DaMayor1:


Brother, actually to the secular world, there's no difference between both. Even among believers of same faith, the line is blurred.
'God fearing' men and women of all ages from all religions have been non conformists, and referred to as crazy/ religious extremists by people of their generation. I'll speak from a Christian perspective, hence examples from the Bible, and i would like to know how i rate according to your 'religious extremist thermometer'.

How would you rate me mentally in this scientific age if I said to you "God told me to build a boat to save mankind"?
How would you rate me mentally in this scientific age if I said to you "God told me to leave my family and my mansion in the city and come out and live in the wilderness with my wife and kids"?
How would you rate me mentally in this scientific age if I said to you "God told me to marry a prostitute, and no matter what she does should not divorce her"?
How would you rate me mentally in this scientific age if I said to you "Except you eat my flesh and drink my blood you have no life in you"...Etc
Crazy as they sound, these are all actions of 'God fearing' men in the Bible, and examples abound. Im sure i could find examples in the Quran and other religious books of 'God fearing' people taking strange actions.
Hence the OP stresses the point 'Re-think if marrying a God fearing man is really for you', because in this Modern feministic scientific age that we live in, his 'God' whom he 'fears' might just ask him to do something 'crazy'.

Well said, but tho all u mentioned, if it happens then its not God speaking. Cos God said he wont destroy d world again. Accordin to d bible, dont think God will ask a xtian to marry a prostitute, u could ve said an ex-prostitute. Except u eat my flesh n blood . All those r old testament. The new testament is message of love, but nevertheless, no one fully understands d way of the Lord.!
What i meant by extremist accordin to d op's topic, r those that
1. Believe u ve to pray for long hrs so dat their prayer be heard, instead of using their hands to work they rather use their mouth. which is not so.

2. Those dat dont watch tvs n use other medias, n some materials, all in d name of xtianity

3. Those that see fasting as a everyday activity, so they force their spouse to their ways

4. Those who judge others jst because they feel they more spiritual than others, they r not ready to listen to what u ve to say. They bliv they r always right.

5. Those that test God, they kno d right thing to do, but feels God will intervene. For instance, ur spouse or u has malaria, n u know an anti-malaria drug will definitely solve it, but u decide to pray about it, jst because ur against d use of medicine. So u watch her condition worsen.
No one says we shudnt pray n believe in such situation, but i jst wonder the essence of the sophisticated brain God gave to us, if we have to call him for help virtually at all times.

6.ETC. Those n so on r wat i meant by extremist.

Woged2005:


You are absolutely right. there are many concepts of 'god' around the world. But i am writing to Nigerians here and assume they are either predominantly Christians, Muslims, Animists, pagans or atheists. The first 3 define and accept God as a supreme being (a super-natural) and believers live under rules that govern their behaviors towards others (including women). In all researches that rule subjugates women. Don't get me wrong I am not a Religious Anthropologist. But I have this debate with my husband all the time and have learned a lot from his knowledge about world religions... all the popular religions subjugate women.

Interesting.

So since there are 'pros and cons' involved in whatever classification of men is out there; either God-fearing or not (using the loose term here relatively). Which class of men would you advise the average Jessica to go for?

TheEqualizer:


Interesting.

So since there are 'pros and cons' involved in whatever classification of men is out there; either God-fearing or not (using the loose term here relatively). Which class of men would you advise the average Jessica to go for?

Honestly as a person I'd never cope with a 'very' religious man. I am a moderate and would like a moderate in everything. As I woman I'd like to be comfortable and have a sense of security not with someone whose word is bond, unbendable, and not flexible. Therefore, personally I went for a man who over-looks some things sometime just to give peace a chance. I prefer a man who has personal discipline, character and values than a religious man. I never listed one of the qualities I wanted in a man to be 'God-fearing', rather I replaced it with 'Trustworthy' so he didn't have to be religious.

Woged2005:

Honestly as a person I'd never cope with a 'very' religious man. I am a moderate and would like a moderate in everything. As I woman I'd like to be comfortable and have a sense of security not with someone whose word is bond, unbendable, and not flexible. Therefore, personally I went for a man who over-looks some things sometime just to give peace a chance. I prefer a man who has personal discipline, character and values than a religious man. I never listed one of the qualities I wanted in a man to be 'God-fearing', rather I replaced it with 'Trustworthy' so he didn't have to be religious.

Applause.

I like this save for the oxymoron in your overall description, in which I highlighted, to give you a complete understanding of where you went wrong. 'Word is bond'/'trustworthy' are interchangeable and they both signify loyalty. Not necessarily being impulsively headstrong. Apart from that mishmash, I wholeheartedly agree with your submission.

Being religious is synonymous with being pretentious, hence I wanted you to elaborate more on the term, 'God-fearing'.

TheEqualizer:


Applause.

I like this save for the oxymoron in your overall description, in which I highlighted, to give you a complete understanding of where you went wrong. 'Word is bond'/'trustworthy' are interchangeable and they both signify loyalty. Not necessarily being impulsively headstrong. Apart from that mishmash, I wholeheartedly agree with your submission.

Being religious is synonymous with being pretentious , hence I wanted you to elaborate more on the term, 'God-fearing'.

No please don't misquote me. A true Christian or a true Muslim definitely is a good man because they want to serve God truly without cutting corners like we see in most mere church-going or Jumat-attending men. But the issue is that most modern girls do not understand that these religions are not necessarily pro-women, and never support equality in the home...they both demand total 'submission' by a woman to her husband. How many modern women would cope with that, yet they want a God-fearing man as a husband?

Who ever wrote this is so much confused.

Marriage is a very serious issue most especialy because it involves two different beings. The centre point of every human is the heart. Prov 4 vs 23 says that the issue s of life has its source from the heart. Jesus said in luke 6 that a goodman out of the good treasure of the heart bring forth good things

1 John 5 says that God is love, while 1 corinthians 13 vs 4 defines the xter of love as: patient, kind, not boastful nor proud, not rude and not selfish.

Who is then a God fearing man? He is one that have surrendered his heart to God and God fills it with his love so that man becomes a new person. Jesus said by these shall men know you are my disciple if you love one another.
Most of the people you call God fearing are just religious men or church goers' by there actions you see that God is not in control of their heart.

As for marriage the bible sahd Husband love your wives meaning be patient, kind, not selfish, not rude to their wives while wives on the othfr hand are to submit, obey and respect their husbands.
The secret of a succesful marriage lies in both the man truly loving his wife, while the woman submits, obeys and resgects the man.
When we look at many marriages failing today is because of those two attributes hhghlited are not being implemented. Thereby we have so many messed marriages. In addition to that many men and women look at the wrong values in chosing a spouse men look at outward beauty instead of the lasting treasures of good character while the women neglect lasting values like hardwork, highly responsible, good morals in a man but rathfr go for riches. Affluence etc.
If men and women will be wise and do the right thing there will be many succesful marriages instead of many marriages breaking up at an alarming rate.

Woged2005:


No please don't misquote me. A true Christian or a true Muslim definitely is a good man because they want to serve God truly without cutting corners like we see in most mere church-going or Jumat-attending men. But the issue is that most modern girls do not understand that these religions are not necessarily pro-women, and never support equality in the home...they both demand total 'submission' by a woman to her husband. How many modern women would cope with that, yet they want a God-fearing man as a husband?

Not trying to be cynical or whatnot but how can one 'serve God truly without cutting corners' when everyone is liable to sin(s)? I think our mentality/outlook puts people on pedestal based on misconstrued term, due to needless disposition to hero/personality worshipping established on whimsical myths...that overtime have become reality.

Having an outlook that's pro-women or lack thereof is an individual thing, and it has nothing to do with religion. Likewise 'submission' which is more of a natural order, to facilitate co-existence, without friction. People need to stop worrying about vague constructs and focus on the qualities of whatever individual(s) they're dealing with, and make their decisions on how best they fit into their desires/need.

Additionally, 'modern woman' is tautology. Women have been 'modern' since the days of Adam and Eve. Concepts just keep changing and everything with go fullcircle soon.

Woged2005:


@OP is happily married and settled down. I am not looking for male attention

you are very good at scamming people then.


you give the impression you no dey see man for face.

tpiadotcom:



you are very good at scamming people then.


you give the impression you no dey see man for face.

yeah. Even if I was single and available, from your mindset I am way beyond your reach, dear. Everything has a class. Look at how other men on the thread are busy discussing issues and bringing their intellectual prowess to the post and u are busy trying to put a 'woman' down bc in ur mind u're a 'man'. Even for free u cannot handle a woman at my level. I don't write lullabies....

TheEqualizer:


Not trying to be cynical or whatnot but how can one 'serve God truly without cutting corners' when everyone is liable to sin(s)? I think our mentality/outlook puts people on pedestal based on misconstrued term, due to needless disposition to hero/personality worshipping established on whimsical myths...that overtime have become reality.

Having an outlook that's pro-women or lack thereof is an individual thing, and it has nothing to do with religion. Likewise 'submission' which is more of a natural order, to facilitate co-existence, without friction. People need to stop worrying about vague constructs and focus on the qualities of whatever individual(s) they're dealing with, and make their decisions on how best they fit into their desires/need.

Additionally, 'modern woman' is tautology. Women have been 'modern' since the days of Adam and Eve. Concepts just keep changing and everything with go fullcircle soon.

You nailed it on the quote. I give you A- on that. I keep A+ to myself . I love open-minded men like you who value intellectual discuss and the contribution of women to knowledge no matter how subtle rather than looking for ways to subdue them and gain undue advantage bc they they are men.

Few months ago I was almost cowed out (bullied) off writing on NL by some male 'e-thugs' but my husband stood by me and encouraged me to stand my grounds and keep writing/posting because I get better with each post bc it's her opinion about me that matters.

djon78:
Who ever wrote this is so much confused.

Marriage is a very serious issue most especialy because it involves two different beings. The centre point of every human is the heart. Prov 4 vs 23 says that the issue s of life has its source from the heart. Jesus said in luke 6 that a goodman out of the good treasure of the heart bring forth good things

1 John 5 says that God is love, while 1 corinthians 13 vs 4 defines the xter of love as: patient, kind, not boastful nor proud, not rude and not selfish.

Who is then a God fearing man? He is one that have surrendered his heart to God and God fills it with his love so that man becomes a new person. Jesus said by these shall men know you are my disciple if you love one another.
Most of the people you call God fearing are just religious men or church goers' by there actions you see that God is not in control of their heart.

As for marriage the bible sahd Husband love your wives meaning be patient, kind, not selfish, not rude to their wives while wives on the othfr hand are to submit, obey and respect their husbands.
The secret of a succesful marriage lies in both the man truly loving his wife, while the woman submits, obeys and resgects the man.
When we look at many marriages failing today is because of those two attributes hhghlited are not being implemented. Thereby we have so many messed marriages. In addition to that many men and women look at the wrong values in chosing a spouse men look at outward beauty instead of the lasting treasures of good character while the women neglect lasting values like hardwork, highly responsible, good morals in a man but rathfr go for riches. Affluence etc.
If men and women will be wise and do the right thing there will be many succesful marriages instead of many marriages breaking up at an alarming rate.

well said, but the issue is the interpretation of 'Submission' by various people even Christians. Moreover how do you explain the above to a Muslim, pagan, and other religions who don't read the bible quotations you used above since they all also revere God but in different ways?

Woged2005:


You nailed it on the quote. I give you A- on that. I keep A+ to myself . I love open-minded men like you who value intellectual discuss and the contribution of women to knowledge no matter how subtle rather than looking for ways to subdue them and gain undue advantage bc they they are men.

Few months ago I was almost cowed out (bullied) off writing on NL by some male 'e-thugs' but my husband stood by me and encouraged me to stand my grounds and keep writing/posting because I get better with each post bc it's her opinion about me that matters.

Ha! Thanks for the compliments but I can also be an azz sometimes regardless.

That said, I just think we're all guilty of letting prejudiced constructs and trying to fit in somewhere blur our deeper understanding of things. I guess that's why it's better to always keep an open mind and learn how to deal with things/individuals as isolated cases. And not general preconceived notions/beliefs about classifications..

OP u too get sense abeg. I day envy ya husband alredi. Chai!
Der is nothing like having an intelligent wify.

Woged2005:


well said, but the issue is the interpretation of 'Submission' by various people even Christians. Moreover how do you explain the above to a Muslim, pagan, and other religions who don't read the bible quotations you used above since they all also revere God but in different ways?

Well women submission has always been part of our culture as Africans. But in another sense a line has to be drawn to separate male chauvanism. In summary a man should love, be good and nice to his woman, while the woman should obey and respect her man. That way it will work well.

Hmmmm

Una get time o.

Op for your information

djon78:


Well women submission has always been part of our culture as Africans. But in another sense a line has to be drawn to separate male chauvanism. In summary a man should love, be good and nice to his woman, while the woman should obey and respect her man. That way it will work well.

Up there you supported your write-up with bible quotations and here you are citing African culture. Africans traditional religion was never Christianity. You see why it looks like some people are just scratching for reasons from any source to justify their actions. Are you a Christian or a traditionalist? This is beginning to sound like the type of 'god-fearing' men I am talking about. 'God-fearing in church', traditionalists outside the church