freecocoa:
They both are bad but I believe physical abuse is worse.

While verbal abuse MAY have the said effects on its victim, physical abuse definitely will leave it's victim with more (psychological and physical)pain.

Again, it's highly unlikely that, a physically abusive person will not be verbally abusive, infact, i'd like to think some words will be said before the beat down, so add up both and you have your answer.

5minsmadness:
My claim for years has been, from personal and observed experience, that physical pain is the least intrusive, most forgettable pain anyone can ever experience. In a choice between a chair of shame, a dunce cap, or a cool-headed spanking, the spanking option has the most minimal long-term impact. No one wants to hear that. That’s insane, people say.


But think about it. Try to recall the physical pain you have felt in the past. Try to feel the same pain you have felt before. Have you ever kicked your toe against a stone? Bring that pain up again in your toe. You can’t really. But think about some time when you were sad—really sad. Think about the death of a loved one or that time you felt absolutely ashamed. You can recall that pain, can’t you? You can even amplify it if you want. It’s why you cry sometimes thinking about the sad things in your life. But no one yelps in pain recalling a kicked toe. Few people even recall a kicked toe at all.


In fact what worsens physical abuse is not the beating a person gets but the verbal insults that go along with it. It is remembering how someone called you useless or witch while beating you that makes you remember the pain. A person can remember an emotional situation in which he or she was verbally assaulted and actually feel a sharp pain in the heart at that moment or start crying.

So if verbal abuse is so bad why do some women feel to verbally abuse a man is OK and not as bad as Physical abuse?

5minsmadness:


There is no MAY in this matter. That's the message. If a lot of men are telling you that verbal abuse is extremely harmful then maybe you should listen to them.

Njokusboy had this to say in another thread. With kind permission :

Any thread I open, I keep seeing this crap about "verbal abuse not being a justification for physical abuse".... This is utter tosh....
I have seen perfect gentlemen loose their cool and unleash Armageddon on some women...
A friend of mine who hardly gets angry came to my house, breathing like a goat in labour one day, his girlfriend apparently insulted him down to his fifth generation, the only thing separating her and a journey to her ancestors in the great beyond was the distance from his house to hers.... I was shocked to say the least, the way he was shaking, I was scared he might get a seizure or a stroke or even go into cardiac arrest and die...
Men don't badmouth other men, especially when the other is stronger, in cases where one takes leave of his senses and verbally assaults another, a duel or a beat down ensues.....
The reason why women continue insulting men is because they believe they'd be let off since they are women...
Women should stop provoking people that can break their neck with a single blow....
A word is enough...

freecocoa:
Same way a person remembers words that were said and cry, so can a person also remember blows and slaps and also cry, it's all in the mind but with physical scars to go with it, in cases of physical abuse.

I don't think you should compare dashing a foot against a stone, with deadly blows given to one by another person, they aren't in the same category.

freecocoa:
If we are having a logical discussion, we should try to be very reasonable, we can't leave out "may" because that is a fact.

There are people who will not hurt over certain words said to them, and there are some that will, infact, there are degrees of verbal abuse, just like physical abuse too, but the difference is before a person can reach their breaking point with verbal abuse, they reach it faster with physical abuse.

I most certainly can bear being verbally abused but the moment you raise a hand against me, be prepared for what will follow and I can say the same for many people.

Walk into the streets, call a few people "idiots", walk up to another group and slap them, I can even guarantee that, you can get away with calling names than when you physically abuse people, the first person you even slap is where your experiment for that day, ends.

Verbal abuse is very bad no doubt, but to put verbal abuse on the same scale as physical abuse is wrong.

5minsmadness:


The stone analogy was an example.

Have u ever been hit by a guy?
If yes can you recreate the pain from the hit, as in physically recall it into current hurt?
You can't if you are being honest.
What u remember is the verbal abuse that went with the hit, the angry words said, the situation that led to your being hot or slapped or whatever.
The memory of the verbal abuse and the ensuing hit is what makes your cry, not the physical recall of the hit itself.

If verbal abuse can hurt so badly that even a recollection of the incidence hurts then why do some ladies wave verbal abuse aside as harmless and not worthy of reprimand?

5minsmadness:


Walk into the streets and approach a couple of skinheads and call them idiots. Let's see if you make it with your life to the end of the day.

You example simply portrays that more people are tolerant of verbal abuse, not thst it is in any way less destructive.

I'm late for work. Any further replies might be epileptic. Apologies.

bukatyne:
1. What is verbal abuse with examples?

2. Can physical abuse be devoid of verbal abuse?

Infomizer:

1. You are a mad person! You good-for-nothing-never-do well-article-of-no-commercial-value-malformation! (Imagine this kinda diatribe from your spouse).

njokusboy:
Verbal abuse is equal to physical abuse...
Since I was a child, i'd always preferred getting whipped to getting verbally violated especially from my mum....
The only difference between the two is the perpetrators..... stronger people would prefer physical abuse while weaker people would prefer verbal abuse, the reason why weaker people don't resort to physical abuse is because they know they'd get beat up, they'd beat you up if they could...
So it depends on which suits you

dinachi:
Verbal abuse is worse by far than physical abuse. In most cases it is the trigger for physical abuse. Hurtful words are more easily retained in the mind than physical packaging. Effects of verbal abuse include but are not limited to sudden heart attacks, emotional breakdown,High blood pressure etc. Now tell me if some of these are not life threatning.

freecocoa:
How is something like this supposed to threaten my life when I know for sure, that I'm not any of the above? It's more like he is the mad one.

tearoses:
People tend to underplay verbal abuse becasue it does not leave physical marks, however it does cause deep emotional scars.
In some people deep emotional scars can result in mental inbalance, crimes of passion . . . .and the lot. In short its like sitting on a keg of gunpowder in some people.

Last week or so the Nigerian man who stabbed his mother to death claimed mental imbalace in his defence due to years of verbal abuse by his mother and his defence team are supporting him. I think he was jailed for life though. Still a tragedy has occured & with one life lost and the oher life ruined.

Abuse is abuse period. One is not better or worse than the other and the person at the other end of the stick knows how painful any kind of abuse is.

Its must be even more hurtful and devastating when its done by a supposed loved one.
People verbally abuse each other every day. Danfo drivers get an earful hour on hour but it cant be as hurtful if their wives or loved ones say it to them.

All forms of abuse need to be stopped. Period.