Infomizer:


Lmsao @ the emboldened! Choi!!!

It ain't about knowing that you're not. Of course, insults don't cause physical harm immediately. It's an emotional thing..realizing that someone you love is insulting you (metaphorically comparing you to a mad man - idoit - senseless - etc.). S/he knows you're not, but s/he has just said you behaved like one. That's not just rude, but bat-shiit bereft of respect. RESPECT!

Really, abuses aren't meant to be life threatening in most cases. And I understand your point of view completely but I think there's a thin line between 'physical abuse' and 'attempted murder' though.

@Dinachi has nailed it, and I think the odds are almost the same as far as the physical effects of both forms of abuses are concerned. Why? How many lives have a hot slap ended? How many kids didn't make it to adulthood because of physically abusive parents? There will be figures mos def but I believe the point has been made.

Cool.

Believe me, a slap has ended many lives walai , it's all good though, I just know that physical abuse will affect me more than verbal abuse, I don't take everything people say when angry to heart because I understand the need to vent.

Words can kill,thats why slander is a type of murder in moral laws. Verbal abuse kills one from inside and most times is the root cause of physical abuse/violence. That said,verbal abuse does not justify violence. If it does then islamist terrorist are right for killing people for insulting their faith. As a Catholic ,i do meet people insulting my faith. I had to bear cases of verbal abuse from co-workers and the boss. I know people here are restricting this topic to marriage. However there is verbal and physical abuse in every area of life. It is not just a husband and wife thing.

freecocoa:
How is something like this supposed to threaten my life when I know for sure, that I'm not any of the above? It's more like he is the mad one.

That you're none of those mean things said is not the point...that the insults are supposed to threaten your life is even farther from the point.

The point is that hearing those things from someone who's supposed to be your partner and confidant is enough to break you down...truth be told, even if it were coming from a stranger in the presence of other people, you may feel the sting coupled with a bit of embarrassment.

Your level of self-confidence is also not the point, as that will only kick-in after you've had pause for rational thought (which only happens in the case of a stranger).
However if the vitriol comes from a loved one, self-confidence does not even come into play as you'll still be hurt whether you want to or not...unless you don't care much for that supposed 'loved one' in the first place.

Cheers...

@OP, verbal abuse is in every way as bad as physical abuse...

There's no arguing this.

crackhaus:

That you're none of those things said is not the point, that the insults are supposed to threaten your life is even farther from the point.

The point is that hearing those things from someone who's supposed to be your partner and confidant is enough to break you down...truth be told, even if it were coming from a stranger in the presence of other people, you're bound to feel the sting coupled with a bit of embarrassment.

Your level of self-confidence is also not the point, as that will only kick-in after you've had pause for rational thought (which only happens in the case of a stranger).
However if the vitriol comes from a loved one, self-confidence does not even come into play as you'll still be hurt whether you want to or not...unless you don't care much for that supposed loved one in the first place.

Cheers...

Get it right please, I never opined that I wouldn't be hurt, ofcourse I'll be hurt, the point is the extent of damage done, my life can never be threatened over what someone said to me.

As a sane person in a fight with another, it is pertinent to note that they too will try to arm themselves.

I will not dwell on my man calling me such inconsequential names in a fight, it really also depends on the kind of relationship you have and with who you have it, now if you are with a psycho, that's an entirely different case, I assume we are talking of normal people here, no?

freecocoa:
Get it right please, I never opined that I wouldn't be hurt, ofcourse I'll be hurt, the point is the extent of damage done, my life can never be threatened over what someone said to me.

As a sane person in a fight with another, it is pertinent to note that they too will try to arm themselves.

I will not dwell on my man calling me such inconsequential names in a fight, it really also depends on the kind of relationship you have and with who you have it, now if you are with a psycho, that's an entirely different case, I assume we are talking of normal people here, no?

Of course we talking of normal people, would anyone who's not a psycho himself/herself remain in a relationship with a psycho?

As per your first paragraph, glad you admit you would be hurt.
However, the extent of damage in verbal abuse cannot be measured physically neither is it supposed to threaten one's life physically... which at the end of the day is what the OP is really about.

The damage verbal abuse can do is subcutaneous ergo psychological and emotional...and if repeated overtime can be very disastrous to a person's mental health.
We just can't rate one form of abuse over another...at best and at worst, they're on the same level.

If the extent of damage done is your frame of reference in rating physical abuse over verbal abuse, I could also come up with the argument that there are some people who are very good at taking a beating and still want to come back for more during the altercation (women inclusive)... their lives won't be threatened in any way either.

verbal abuse is worse, girls should avoid doing this in anyway possible. way back one Sunday when I was a student my cousin called/ran to me telling me that her newly Wed husband wants to kill her that they guy beat her black and blue ( though she didn't look it just the red print of slaps ) that he did this and that and exaggerated everything and told me that she needs me to teach him a very big lesson probably get my goons to beat hell outta him. She told me all the guy said that nothing is gonna happen which infuriated me and made me want to head for the guy but I remembered things are not done that way and BTW I've accessed Magnus and can predict a little about him then I asked her what did you do and she yapped stories but I discovered she tried to push all the cause and blames on mag and I knew she was lying.
I called Mag and we exchanged greetings I told him I would like us to go have some drinks he agreed, scheduled venue and whatnot so when we met after little while he told me my cousin is outta control and I asked form explanation and he told Me all the mind numbing insults this bloody, senseless cousin of mine rained on him and I pitied the guy cos guys know themselves and can tell when they're lying or telling the truth. I plead with him on behalf of my stupidd cousin and told her stories of worse wives and we had a great time and split. I later invited the ldiot and asked her questions based on my new information and she could say any reasonable thing I warned seriously and told her if I were Magnus she would be in the hospital by now ( the look on her face was priceless) listed the insults she used to devour this young man's soul because he was advising her on something. adviced her and set her on her way.
.
1. verbal abuse is worse and can turn a lamb into a raging lion.
2. Most of the times physical abuse is a result of verbal abuse.
3. Never ever believe one side of a case till the hear from the other side.
3. some girls are devil incarnate so tread carefully.
.
Finally if you can't take the hits or what will come out of a physical abuse then don't render the verbal abuse that might get you an ass whooping or death which is bad. be you male or female abuse of any kind is very very bad yes it is but when we make people lose their cool what did we expect them to do? ladies will say chill out or walk away and other craps, well walking away is not for everybody and guys will will do the needful which is knuckles up with the opponent. let us know when not to cross the line.

Amhappy:
Words can kill,thats why slander is a type of murder in moral laws. Verbal abuse kills one from inside and most times is the root cause of physical abuse/violence. That said,verbal abuse does not justify violence. If it does then islamist terrorist are right for killing people for insulting their faith. As a Catholic ,i do meet people insulting my faith. I had to bear cases of verbal abuse from co-workers and the boss. I know people here are restricting this topic to marriage. However there is verbal and physical abuse in every area of life. It is not just a husband and wife thing.

yeah maybe it doesn't justify violence, my dear what justifies verbal abuse?

njokusboy:
Verbal abuse is equal to physical abuse...
Since I was a child, i'd always preferred getting whipped to getting verbally violated especially from my mum....
The only difference between the two is the perpetrators..... stronger people would prefer physical abuse while weaker people would prefer verbal abuse, the reason why weaker people don't resort to physical abuse is because they know they'd get beat up, they'd beat you up if they could...
So it depends on which suits you

When I was growing up
I always prefer being whipped with a kobobko soaked In kerosene to being verbally abused by my mum or by the venomous piercing soul ripping words of my elder sisters

It hurts like shit
For the whipping part The pain only endures at that moment and it's forgotten
But for the spoken words it keeps haunting me day and night

Verbal abuse is worse
That's why in Europe and America people commit suicide just because of the verbal and abusive words being thrown at them

By law it's not the same and I think that's the answer. If someone insults you and you hit him/her you will go to jail, people don't go to jail for insults.

If you have a verbally abusive spouse who has refused to change separate yourself before the person makes you commit a crime

Verbal abuse is as bas as physical abuse.
Physial abuse is damaging emotionally because it always accompanied by verbal abuse,rejection,belittling insults and that's the only emotional side of its that is difficult to overcome,whereas the physical pain rarely stays with a person.
How many of you remember the slap they received from a parent or someone? close your eye and try to recall a stubbed toe you experienced last week,do you have tear when you do that? It is a forgettable pain.

Verbal abuse is emotionally and psychosocially damaging.You can recall anytime someone calling you a bastard,a good for nothing man,a failure just like you remember the death of a loved one,the pain-it's why you cry sometimes thinking about the sad things in your life.It doesn't leave you. It can destroy your confidence,the constant put downs and criticism take their toll on you until you start to believe whatever the person is telling you,you start doubting your every move and afraid to to try certain things.Many suicides we have nowadays among young people are due to bully,they even resort to killing the people who bully them.

Any sort of abuse is bad because it is intentionally meant to hurt someone.

Most of the serial killers we have were verbally and physically abused.Most were abused by their motheirs and ended up killing them before embarking in a killing spree.

Ted Bundy was abused for years,this was what he said "being labelled a bastard in that era was humiliating.It was like I hit a brick wall".
Edmund Kemper abused verbally by his mother:“I’m not a lizard I didn’t come out from under a rock. I came out of her vagina, see?” By then Edmund had murdered 6 young women “because of the way she raises her son and the way… he grows up.”

Both are as bad as the other BUT the main difference is One causes IMMEDIATE pain that could lead to serious injury while the injury for the other is inflicted over time.

When you keep hearing 'you are useless, you are worthless' with time you begin to believe those things about yourself and in some cases leads to depression and associated issues.

On the other hand, one upper cut at the wrong angle can lead to serious injury or even death.

I cant stand either. Both should be a No- No in a ideal world, But then we don't live in an ideal word.

[size=18pt]No one has ever seen someone and start hitting or beating them. It is the verbal abuse when couldn't be contained anymore that will lead to physical abuse.
-Chigozie7(m)[/size]

Words on marble.
Very good point!

All forms of abuses are bad and unjustifiable.A physical abuse is worse in my view.

Infomizer:


1. You are a mad person! You good-for-nothing-never-do well-article-of-no-commercial-value-malformation! (Imagine this kinda diatribe from your spouse).

2. Physical abuse will most likely not be devoid of verbal abuse. And while verbal abuse can be devoid of physical abuse, the effect on the recipient, when it is the sole weapon of attack can dwarf that of physical abuse (accompanied of course with some verbal assault).

Thanks for your reply...

1. That was funny! and will probably produce a more acidic result from me or I leave you to Jesus... Why did my spouse say that?

2. Physical abuse always accompanies verbal abuse. If you are caught beating someone, 'he/she insulted me is not tenable'.

Physical abuse is worse than verbal abuse because it always accompanies verbal abuse.

So physical abuse is really (Verbal + Physical)... You are crushing the person's spirit, soul and body.

And I think we are mixing things up: My father/mother slapping him or beating me because I did something wrong is not abuse and is not tenable here.

A husband retailing to the wife's slaps/ jacking/ blocking of the door/ breaking his things is not physical abuse also.

Someone spilling coffee on my white shirt and me saying 'who is the fool who did this or are you blind bla bla' is not verbal abuse.

A wife seeing her husband with his 'girlfriend' and giving him finishing is not verbal abuse

The intention in all these scenarios is not to hurt or control the victim. It is a reaction (right? Wrong?) to an offence

Yes, there are some people who would say negative words in your life for no just cause.... some would also beat for no reason.

However, let us differentiate between physical abuse and beating; verbal abuse and saucy person.

Not supporting any one of them anyways...

On a side note, someone once accused me of supporting 'ábuse' because I said there is a difference between a husband & wife fighting and a husband abusing his wife and vice versa

Depends on the state of mind of the abused.

5minsmadness:
My claim for years has been, from personal and observed experience, that physical pain is the least intrusive, most forgettable pain anyone can ever experience. In a choice between a chair of shame, a dunce cap, or a cool-headed spanking, the spanking option has the most minimal long-term impact. No one wants to hear that. That’s insane, people say.


But think about it. Try to recall the physical pain you have felt in the past. Try to feel the same pain you have felt before. Have you ever kicked your toe against a stone? Bring that pain up again in your toe. You can’t really. But think about some time when you were sad—really sad. Think about the death of a loved one or that time you felt absolutely ashamed. You can recall that pain, can’t you? You can even amplify it if you want. It’s why you cry sometimes thinking about the sad things in your life. But no one yelps in pain recalling a kicked toe. Few people even recall a kicked toe at all.


In fact what worsens physical abuse is not the beating a person gets but the verbal insults that go along with it. It is remembering how someone called you useless or witch while beating you that makes you remember the pain. A person can remember an emotional situation in which he or she was verbally assaulted and actually feel a sharp pain in the heart at that moment or start crying.

So if verbal abuse is so bad why do some women feel to verbally abuse a man is OK and not as bad as Physical abuse?

They are both the same IMO. So many people have committed suicide as a result of constant verbal abuse. So many people have also died as a result of direct physical abuse.

Hence, both may lead to very fatal outcome &/or lasting injuries to the victims.

Something I saw on Google facts