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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family (3022 Views)
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26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 10:19am On Jul 16, 2015 |
(Read carefully and state if it’s TRUE or FALSE) 1. Your parents are basically demi-gods. It doesn’t matter if you learned that the sky is blue. If your parents say Blood is Green,then Blood is in fact, Green. At least, in their presence. 2. Your parents will seldom never admit they are wrong. And if and when they do, you will be too stunned to even believe it. 3. Your grandparents are the only people who can put your parents in their place. (And you will enjoy those moments.) 4. Your house is a free for all. At some point a relative, twice-removed, will be invited to stay for an extended-period of time. 5. You will likely be raised the old-fashioned way -“you spare the rod, you spoil the child” kind of old-fashioned way. In your adulthood, you’ll largely be grateful for it and you’ll always be able to tell the difference between people who were raised the same way and people who were not. 6. God help you if you’re living under your parent’s roof and you yell at them, slam a door in anger, and/or curse in their presence. Yeah, God help you. 7. The youngest child will be blamed for everything….until he or she is able to talk. 8. The oldest child will be blamed for everything that the younger children do. 9. If you cry while being accused of something, it is assumed that you are guilty. 10. Your parents will call you from upstairs, downstairs, outside, etc., to hand them something that is literally 10 centimeters away from them. 11. You will not leave your parents’ home without learning how to cook. 12. Religious attendance and practice is not an option. 13. Everyone who is older than you is your “auntie” or “uncle.” Calling them by their first name is basically a crime against humanity. 14. You will probably never meet all of your extended family because there are just so many of them. 15. This one specifically applies to most Nigerians (although I have to hand it to papa and mama for not putting this kind of pressure on us): Doing well in school is not an option and by doing well, parents have expectations that you will be the best at everything. Example: If you get a 98%, they might ask, “What happened to the other 2%?” If you get a B, your parents will likely ask, “The person who got an A, do they have three heads?” Just do well in school. 16. Your friends better greet your parents first when they see them or that friendship is pretty much over. RESPECT is HUGE. 17. Sleepovers at friends’ houses are mythical tales or basically only happen when your parents have known the family’s family since the beginning of time. 18. Another mythical tale – being in a serious relationship with anyone when you’re in your teens. And until your parents believe you are of, “courtship age,” they will refer to anyone you are dating as, “your friend.” 19. You will still be expected to have a traditional engagement/marriage regardless of where the person you’re marrying is from. (Have fun explaining the details of that to all your significant others!) 20. Your parents will talk to you in a lot of proverbs and metaphors. For example, when I was about 10, I spent half a day trying to figure out what my dad meant when he said, “When I talk to you and advise you, do I talk with water in my mouth?” I eventually got it. 21. You will have maybe 3 conversations about sex with your parents – one when puberty starts to take its course, the second one when you start secondary school Biology, and the third one when you are about to leave home. They will all surprisingly sound like the Mean Girl’s quote, “Don’t have sex because you will get pregnant and die!” followed by “Do not bring shame to this family!” 22. Your siblings will be the first people to bully the crap out of you. Later on, you’ll realize that they were preparing you for a big bad world out there. 23. If your entire full name is being called, and your native language is also being spoken, the day shall not pass without tears. 24. Soft Drinks in the fridge? Either your parents were in a REALLY good mood or there are visitors coming over. 25. Surprisingly, alcohol is a hit or miss with African parents. It depends on the set that you get. 26. You won’t realize how incredibly hilarious and somewhat bizarre your upbringing was until you reach adulthood. And you’ll burst out into tears of laughter when you’re sitting next to an African woman who is telling her child who probably just got a B, “So the person who got an A, do they have three heads?” Hang in there kid, they secretly boast that they have the best children ever, just not to your face. God Bless Our Parents 15 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by TrishaP(f): 10:22am On Jul 16, 2015 |
That number 6 tho. After slamming the door be ready to live behind that closed door for the rest of your life. 6 Likes |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by kossyablaze(m): 10:26am On Jul 16, 2015 |
I tire 3 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by badaoyeyemi(f): 10:28am On Jul 16, 2015 |
All true |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Slimzjoe(m): 10:29am On Jul 16, 2015 |
Chai! So we Plenty sef Lalasticlala Ishilove Have yhu Seen this? |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 10:30am On Jul 16, 2015 |
TrishaP: Hahaa....yhu Might be given The Silent Treatment that will Kill Yhu before your Death 1 Like |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ruq: 10:34am On Jul 16, 2015 |
If Visitors give you money they will collect it especially moms and it's always like this "bring the money let me help you to keep it". I hate that. 10 Likes |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Pinocchioo(f): 10:43am On Jul 16, 2015 |
Lol, very funny post, but true. That number 10 ehn, the thing tire me. |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 10:48am On Jul 16, 2015 |
Ruq: And the money will be Kept Forever! 4 Likes |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 10:56am On Jul 16, 2015 |
Pinocchioo: E Tire you?? E Dey Pain me!! Imagine Walking all the way from Your Room to the Parlour Just to Give them there Cell Phone that's Just Few meters away from them 2 Likes |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by marwanafrica: 11:34am On Jul 16, 2015 |
u r really an african gee |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by teddybear007(f): 12:18pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
Very true and wonderful epistle on d other hand |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by seankay(m): 12:28pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
When you are in Public, ur mom's facial expression is enough to do d talking African Parents will always compare their neighbours' Children to theirs whenever they are scolding their Children 6 Likes |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 1:23pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
teddybear007: Epistle?? For Real? |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 1:24pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
seankay: I tell you!! She Uses her Eyes to tell you When to Collect or Reject something.....Sometimes we go just Lock up do our thing then Face the music Later 2 Likes |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 1:24pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
marwanafrica: |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by seankay(m): 1:49pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
Ragner:Haha. Ur head dey dere 1 Like |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by coogaluta(f): 4:52pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
No 19: I have a friend who keeps explaining the importance of prostrating during trad wedding to her oyibo boyfriend 2 Likes |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by SAMBARRY: 4:57pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
; |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by SAMBARRY: 5:01pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
I remember those days when I told my mom on our way back from church that we should branch to mr biggs. Mr biggs that time was the only restaurant in nigeria those days. Guess what she said. The remaining fufu I didn't finish is still in the fridge when I remember I'm always 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by lilmax(m): 6:42pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
Okay |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 8:01pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
coogaluta: Lol.... We Africans always Like To Show off! |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 8:01pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
SAMBARRY:My Own Mama go do Like say she know Here you! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Slimzjoe(m): 8:08pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
Robinhez Teempakguy swear say your Family no be like this |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by RobinHez(m): 8:15pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
These two are so annoying to me 1. Your parents are basically demi-gods. It doesn’t matter if you learned that the sky is blue. If your parents say Blood is Green,then Blood is in fact, Green. At least, in their presence. 8. The oldest child will be blamed for everything that the younger children do. another one thats not on that list is if u have any female friend or u'r walking with a female, u've started "moving around with girls abi? u want to get a girl pregnant abi??" so so annoying....and its not funny atall 2 Likes |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Ragner(m): 8:50pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
RobinHez: Hahaa! Especially being Blamed for everything your Younger ones Do |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Slimzjoe(m): 8:51pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
RobinHez: Yhu get Mind ooo! Yhu go Waka with Girl! Don't think I could ever do it! |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by RobinHez(m): 9:48pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
Slimzjoe:why i no go waka with my friend again? i no just like d way dem dey think for my area...if u look woman 2 times u don die! like say i no go ever marry again |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Slimzjoe(m): 9:50pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
RobinHez: Lol... I Talk with Girls too sha but Never in Front of any of my Parent |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by RobinHez(m): 10:08pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
Pukka36 come yarn ur mind |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by Pukka36(f): 10:17pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
RobinHez:I used that number 9 to my favour,I hardly cry,so when I do my Mum will just believe that am innocent Number 10 is so annoying:...My Elder brother's handiwork 23!My Father |
Re: 26 Things That You Usually Face In An Average African Family by RobinHez(m): 10:20pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
Pukka36:Ok...I dey here dey wait u |
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