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My Fiancée Had An Incest Relationship With Her Cousin Years Back, I'm Devastated / I Love My Girlfriend But My Family Don't Want Us To Marry. / Meeting My Fiancée's Parents For The First Time! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: A by pickabeau1: 2:00pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Stillfire: Let the women answer you Q: Is there a culture of obligation to provide for your girlfriend/fiancé in Naija and why does this exist CC: edwife cococandy Kimoni freecocoa |
Re: A by edwife(f): 2:04pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
@Pickabeau i will tell you what i know. In Naija it is a culture for a man to pay for dinner when he invites you,even when you show up with your friends. Once you date her you are responsible for her hair,phone(this includes recharge cards and a more fancy phone),her upkeep and transportation. Some demand for house rent and school fees. Why it exist i may not have the correct answer but according to some,he is the man in the relationship and a real man supposes to care for his woman. Because some of them believe that if he has access to my body,why should he not take care of my needs. |
Re: A by cococandy(f): 2:13pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Because sex is for rent ish. When I was in school, I'd hear the random guy say he was magad. I.e he was spending on his girlfriend and got no sex in return. Or the girl would be like, "this guy has not even done anything for me and he wants to sleep with me. I'm not a mugu" So in a way you see it's an affair of two people who think they are giving each other what they want. That's why the concept of a sexless relationship is alien to the average Nigerian guy. In his mind, there's nothing in it for him. Go and say that in romance section and watch them shout you down. As for the girl believing sex is a favor to the guy she's dating, if he's not taking care of her recharge cards and hair extensions, there nothing in it for her. The mindset is that after he must have slept with her (I.e taking some thing precious from her), he will probably abandon her and move on eventually to another relationship so if she gives it for free, there's nothing in it for her. This is based on my observation and it's fairly accurate because even on NL of faceless people, you will see someone always say "if your girlfriend says no sex until marriage, then you say no spending until marriage" Meaning the basic idea of why a relationship is to the average Nigerian youth is sex and money. I apologize in advance to the plenty other people who this generalization has reflected poorly upon. I know there are people who didn't see their relationship that way. There were some who shared their little pocket money with their boyfriends and vice versa and they chewed biscuit together in their hostels without problem, there were some who had jobs as students and didn't depend on boyfriends. It's just a generalization. 1 Like |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 2:14pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Thanks for the response So you see why some people just see the online paparazzi as just online BS The girl is probably posting from a smartphone bought for by a man, the data is recharged by the same man or another man while she is eating a dinner which was paid by a man I wonder if Stillfire is feigning ignorance on this expectation from the females.. Well I know she will still find a way to blame men edwife: 1 Like |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 2:19pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
cococandy:True But I am sure its not every guy who spent on his girl that had the opportunity to sleep with the girl Some women even tell you they are saving for marriage yet will be sleeping with someone else on the side Not totally true I knew and know so many guys who are not getting anything yet they support their girls The so called movement you hear of is a result of guys saying NO To secondary virginity
You have answered the q Girls see pocket money and allowances as an obligation My addendum is that this holds true whether sex is involved or not |
Re: A by crackhaus: 2:20pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
edwife:Is it really a Nigerian thing that women expect to be taken care of financially (at least to some extent) by their man? |
Re: A by cococandy(f): 2:21pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1: |
Re: A by edwife(f): 2:23pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
crackhaus: It is not just a Nigerian thing,it is an African thing.At least i know in some other African Countries,it is the same thing. |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 2:25pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
edwife: This is also true Even Asian ladies too |
Re: A by Stillfire: 2:26pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Lol, This guy ehn what do you take me for? I come from an angle of who's to blame for this attitude. So I guess from the arguments provided Nigerian women are to blame. No be fight abeg. |
Re: A by cococandy(f): 2:34pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1: And The Spanish speaking countries I assume. Anywhere gender roles are defined. That's also why we have girlfriends assuming the role of wives in their boyfriends' houses. Cooking and cleaning and showing him bed skills all before marriage. That's how they show they are wife material and the guy shows he's husband material by providing her needs. You're still looking for why the culture exists? 1 Like |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 2:36pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Stillfire: See gentility I will not fully blame the women.. maybe 80 percent on the women who have come to expect this and equate money to caring men have also acted as enablers which is the clarion call for this guy who is spending his student allowance on a girl who then has the guys to compare herself to the mother who is feeding her indirectly. Moreso women are now getting empowered.. with time this should stop |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 2:40pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
cococandy: I don't know much about the Spainish peoples... I know its also a big deal in Brazil cococandy: |
Re: A by cococandy(f): 2:42pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1:Quoting in bits is too much work. |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 2:43pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
cococandy: But u respond in bits,,...yes? |
Re: A by Stillfire: 2:48pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Can't wait! |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 2:51pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Stillfire: Its inevitable really |
Re: A by cococandy(f): 2:56pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Yes. It's not harder |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 3:13pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
cococandy: ok |
Re: A by missyruq(f): 5:49pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Shuoo! She dey complain abt ur luv fo ur peeps? &if u no rily care fo dem,she go raise issue too,,hmm |
Re: A by Ewuro4: 6:14pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Timbuktou: No, pan handling doesn't count , isn't that what rabble rousers only good at: shun underlying cause of these barbaric 'oppression' they're subejected to ? 1 Like |
Re: A by freecocoa(f): 6:34pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1:Coco's pretty much said it all, it's not like he's the only one doing the babe good, she's giving him sex and being his woman, so it's balanced. |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 6:58pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
freecocoa: So do you support it |
Re: A by Nobody: 7:04pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
@ coco, so these girls, dem nor get parents ni abi their parents nor de ask questions? |
Re: A by freecocoa(f): 7:05pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1:Not all relationships are like that. Some girl's pay the pills whether you believe it or not, some sleep with their boyfriends without him spending on them. The ones who may be paying without sleeping with her, expect her to submit to him, so anyhow you look at it, you can't blame women for this. |
Re: A by freecocoa(f): 7:06pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1:I'm a feminist, how can you ask me that question? |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 7:16pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
freecocoa: I agree..some women help out I know of some ladies myself helping their man buy this are exceptions Have you forgotten the motto of some married women His money our money My money my money? Also your last statement You can't blame women? Why do women blame everyone else but themselves?..huh freecocoa: I needed to ask So you see women in naija have it easy They use phones bought by men with data to post Some are sponsored on trips to dubai and exotic places Some are valued with high amounts of money to show they are high class before the husband can carry them So where is the suffering that caused the femaleinnaija shítstorm |
Re: A by cococandy(f): 7:17pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
naijababe:It depends on parents o. As I stubborn reach, I know some things my parents can't tolerate. There was a girl in my hostel then that used to pay her siblings fees from money made from... She was my roomie's friend so she ised to be around quite a bit and I'd be wondering in my mind why parents are so different. sometimes her mom or dad would call her asking for money for this or that. No exaggeration. There are different kinds of human beings |
Re: A by pickabeau1: 7:21pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
cococandy: Yes they are parents like this but they are not the norm for these girls Some of these girls come from middle class backgrounds, attend private uniis yet they still ask for money from boyfriend who have to sponsor a birthday party annually, buy tablets as gift and generally flex. So them no get parent? |
Re: A by cococandy(f): 7:22pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1:A woman can have it easy in Nigeria if she's fine with being valued according to her looks and how favorable the men find her. That's not what life is all about. |
Re: A by freecocoa(f): 7:24pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
pickabeau1:Forgive me If I don't know only women who take their men's money without contributing. How can you blame the women for a culture that was introduced by the men? He's the one who wants to be "a real man", the one who thinks she's not a real woman, if she has an opinion, so needs to assert his powers by wanting to dominate/dominate her. The men want to win a price, therefore needs to prove himself to get that. |
Re: A by cococandy(f): 7:25pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Explain pls. What are u saying that I'm not saying? Some parents tolerate such, while some don't. My example was just to show you how far some even take it. I'm not saying they are all poor. pickabeau1: |
Age Of Consent (to Have Sex) In Nigeria Is 11 Years (did You Know?) / INTERIOR WALLPAPER AND 3D WALLPANEL / My Husband Is Unfair To Me. Pls Help!!!
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