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End of story. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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His Siblings Versus Our Marriage: Is This The End Of My Marriage? / End of Part 1 / Is This The End Of Sex As We Know It? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: End of story. by bakynes(m): 4:42am On Oct 15, 2015
The thing about most Nigerian girls is that they are smart, they know how to make you start doubting your suspicion of them. It will be very evident they are cheating but they will make it look like you are the one who needs to calm down and trust them. Me myself I don mugu too with this issue of ex bf came to do clearance in school has no place to stay nothing happened. That day she stylishly let me return to my house coz I wanted to sleep over on the excuse that, she was going to her friends house to copy lecture notes she misssed and that she will let me know when she is back so I can come back to her flat, na so I wait tire o not knowing the guy don dey her side na so I go there called her out in the night, she don tie towel ready to bath, omo I almost beat her that day, people sha told me to go home. I no fit sleep kept calling in the midnight ran out of credit, borrowed my friends phone kept calling after a while I give up. She came to my place the following day very early as early as 7am to swear with a bible that nothing happened even bleeped me join. So my brother like that Guy said Nigerian girls are not to be trusted. As for me I will not marry any girl below 28 years of age because even if they have messed up themselves before they will act maturely at that age they know what they want no time to be messing around any longer.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: End of story. by caesaraba(m): 5:05am On Oct 15, 2015
2dice:
That is it Only

Well when a lady is with you that is the Only time she is your Boo..
The moment she step Outside
She is for everyOne

I've heard this a lot and it's still sounds scary to me. I want to believe there's something better jare`.
Re: End of story. by baggy4luv(m): 5:24am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
(LONG STORY PLS READ THROUGH) Hello house, please i need mature advice from you guys..most of you guys that follows my oil workers thread on nairaland can recall when i mentioned that i will be getting married by next year that everybody should be geting ready to attend my TM/WW, well thus goes my story. After i ended my previous distance relationship which lasted for years before we mutually ended it base on family diffrences. I met this my new date when i came to Lagos in 2011 for a project, we exchanged contacts after which i traveled to Netherland for a training i did not called her for over a year plus because then i was still with my previous date, when i returned from my trip early Jan 2013, i called her so we got talking, along the line i traveled to her school to see her in (S Eastern Uni) "FASTFORWARD" i told her my intention of getting marry to her then, so i brought her to lagos to meet my parents and other family members, after all said and done she pleaded that i gave her time to finish her studies before any marriage proper, we all agreed early 2016 since she is in early 20
and i was in mid 20 then we are not in a rush. We have been together since 2013 to date, we have shared a good time and fund memories, i truely love her and she does too, i have tried my best to make her comfortable and take care of her and make her envy of all her female friends, i have NEVER cheated on her or have the thought of doing so despite we only see during end of every semester, and i traveled a lot and always busy with work though i make sure i do speak with her at least 3x a day with minimum of 30mins per a call just to make sure she don't feel lonely. NOW HER CRIME AND MY SUSPICIONs. Last month i called her early morning to know whatsup with her i noticed she was not comfortable speaking to me on phone i was like are you ok? I then heard a background male voice she hurriedly ended the call, when i called back i insisted she told me whose voice i heard in her house, that was when she opened up to me that the guy is her old time gf brother who came from one state in the South South to write post ume in her school i was mad @ her, after a while i insited to know her package with the guy, to my suprise the guy is to stay in her room for 2weeks plus, they share the same bed, jst living like a husband and wife though she still assured me to trust her that noting would happen between them, i was angry because she never inform me of such arrangement before saying yes to them. I SWEAR THOSE PERIOD I COULD NOT SLEEP, EVERY NIGHT I WILL BE JUST IMAGINING THINGS. that happend and gone we continue normal life, yesterday we agreed that she will be coming to lagos on saturday since she is done with her exam because we have not seen for 5 months now, she told me she needed some cash to pay up somethings and settle some debets before coming, FASTFORWARD. This night i called her to know her latest plans and verify the account she want me to transfer money to her, while we were talking i noticed she is using terms on me instead of real names, she was talking like someone that is hiding for somebody not to figure out her discussion, so i asked her are you with somebody there she said no she was alone, a min later i started hearing a phone booting sound @ background for several times, i asked her again she deinied it, as an IT guy i am, i figured out that the sound is MS Windows phone that uses such sound, & i know she does not have such phone, i threatened her, she then opened up that she with her lodge mate a guy @ that hour, i got upset why she lied to me, she started faking the call as if network is disturbing her claiming that she can't hear me well, teling me to end the call and call her tommrrow so we can talk well, i told her no to stop faking network, she ended the call, i called her back 22 times she did not pick my calls, i sent her diffrent text messages she did not reply, i told her i will never call her again if she did not pick after my calling her 2wise again yet she damm the call. After an hour she text me thus: PLS AM SORRY WE WILL TALK 2MORO I DON'T MEAN TO GOT U UPSET, DO YOU THINK IF I AM WITH A MAN I WIL PICK UR CALL IN D FIRST PLC? GUD NIT SWT DREMS. She is now claiming is a prank but hell no i don't believe her. House how do i handle this now? I really love her but i can't stand a cheat because i have NEVER cheated to any of my date before. I want to call of the marriage, i have lost the trust i have for her. I need your mature advice. Thanks all.
my guy i pity you..
1.shes is the fish and not something is fishy
2.limit the calls...and wen you do call like a stranger.
3.stop taking dat relationship serious.
4.the lagos invitation should be a fucking spree.(start mirroring evrything she did to you.
5.Dont send that money again
6.Find a girl wey go replace am.
7.stop that your questioning of who are u with.

5 Likes

Re: End of story. by Sunkyphil(m): 6:08am On Oct 15, 2015
d earlier u drop marriage talks with her n move on d better for u

1 Like

Re: End of story. by KRILMIJAY(m): 6:29am On Oct 15, 2015
with everything I've experienced, Can't believe people still date in dz part of d world, Most Nigerian girls especially those in d Univ r extremely wicked dnt just waste ya time except for a few who should b trusted. Op, ur babe isnt just a cheat, but also pathetic liar dnt just risk d happy family u intend to have , for her all in d name of Love, most bitches dont know wht luv z infact dey mistake sex for luv. u said she luvs u, dnt listen to dt, luv isn't enough anymore, people claim luv but if given gun dey'll shoot u. Focus on ya career , relax & dont rush into Marriage with her or anymore 'cause u might rush out, tk ya time to avoid mistakes & had I known. FINALLY, LET HER GO.

2 Likes

Re: End of story. by mulki: 6:43am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
i really do appreciate ur input, we had misunderstanding sometime last year i called of the r/ship, guess what? SHE FAINTED AND PASS OUT WE RUSHED HER TO THE HOSPITAL FOR TWO DAYS SHE WAS IN COMA, the Dr warned we should avoid anyting that we make her think deep or angered that she has fregile heart, and is fond of crying and fainting anytine i threaned to quit the r/ship, her mum has been the one controling her heart if i may put it that way.
sweet story, bros stop lying ....free the babe abeg
Re: End of story. by Nobody: 7:34am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
ur head is really there. @ time i got confused, she gave me her password to all her social network including her yahoo mail, i have access to her whatsap chats, tweeter and bbm, she pratical using my pix as her DP in al her social media platform, i never see any atom of cheat in any of her account, except bunch of guys msges asking her out and stuffs like dat, she always tell her frnds both male/females abt me, al her frnds knws abt me very wel both her Rev Father, bt what got me confused is her recent actions, she has sworn to me on several occations that is not, bt this yesterday atitude of hers is damm suspicious
scantee:
bro i have been with her for years, i can even swear 4 her that she can never try such, al these new developement happened within last month and this month. Take for e.g i played prank on her last 2 months, i called her around 11pm that i am in her state that our flight landed late, then her hostel gate has been locked she got so excited and demanded i got any available taxi frm d airport and start coming dwn to her sch, she went and gave d security guy 1k to enable him open for me when i got there since it was late already, to cut long story short abt hw it ends dat day, u see i was expectn her to ask to lodge in an hotel 2moro we see so that she wil have enough time to cover up any of her bad move, bt instead she did evrytn possible 4 me to to hostel dat nit not minding this is d first time i am coming to their sch hostel, that single act made me trusted her more, untill this last month these tinz came up.
You're such an insecure guy! !! Give the girl a rest please. ..

You practically control her life yet you say you trust her... she's probably fed up with your insecure attitudes. .. just look at all your comments on this thread.. monitoring and questioning her all the time...
Don't even know your stand, you say she can't cheat on you yet you want to cancel the wedding cos you suspect she cheats... undecided

Please cancel the wedding, it will do her good....

Until you get a clear evidence, she may or may not be cheating on you. .. quit making assumptions. .

I really can't date an insecure guy like you. . More like monitoring spirit undecided

1 Like

Re: End of story. by mohdimplez(m): 7:37am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
(LONG STORY PLS READ THROUGH)

Hello house,

Please i need mature advice from you guys..most of you guys that follows my oil workers thread on nairaland can recall when i mentioned that i will be getting married by next year that everybody should be geting ready to attend my TM/WW, well thus goes my story.

After i ended my previous distance relationship which lasted for years before we mutually ended it base on family diffrences. I met this my new date when i came to Lagos in 2011 for a project, we exchanged contacts after which i traveled to Netherland for a training i did not called her for over a year plus because then i was still with my previous date, when i returned from my trip early Jan 2013, i called her so we got talking, along the line i traveled to her school to see her in (S Eastern Uni)

"FASTFORWARD" i told her my intention of getting marry to her then, so i brought her to lagos to meet my parents and other family members, after all said and done she pleaded that i gave her time to finish her studies before any marriage proper, we all agreed early 2016 since she is in early 20 and i was in mid 20 then we are not in a rush.

We have been together since 2013 to date, we have shared a good time and fund memories, i truely love her and she does too, i have tried my best to make her comfortable and take care of her and make her envy of all her female friends, i have NEVER cheated on her or have the thought of doing so despite we only see during end of every semester, and i traveled a lot and always busy with work though i make sure i do speak with her at least 3x a day with minimum of 30mins per a call just to make sure she don't feel lonely.

NOW HER CRIME AND MY SUSPICIONS

Last month i called her early morning to know whatsup with her i noticed she was not comfortable speaking to me on phone i was like are you ok? I then heard a background male voice she hurriedly ended the call, when i called back i insisted she told me whose voice i heard in her house, that was when she opened up to me that the guy is her old time gf brother who came from one state in the South South to write post ume in her school i was mad @ her, after a while i insited to know her package with the guy, to my suprise the guy is to stay in her room for 2weeks plus, they share the same bed, jst living like a husband and wife though she still assured me to trust her that noting would happen between them, i was angry because she never inform me of such arrangement before saying yes to them.

I SWEAR THOSE PERIOD I COULD NOT SLEEP, EVERY NIGHT I WILL BE JUST IMAGINING THINGS. that happend and gone we continue normal life, yesterday we agreed that she will be coming to lagos on saturday since she is done with her exam because we have not seen for 5 months now, she told me she needed some cash to pay up somethings and settle some debts before coming

FASTFORWARD. This night i called her to know her latest plans and verify the account she want me to transfer money to her, while we were talking i noticed she is using terms on me instead of real names, she was talking like someone that is hiding for somebody not to figure out her discussion, so i asked her are you with somebody there she said no she was alone, a min later i started hearing a phone booting sound @ background for several times, i asked her again she deinied it.

As an IT guy i am, i figured out that the sound is MS Windows phone that uses such sound, & i know she does not have such phone, i threatened her, she then opened up that she with her lodge mate a guy @ that hour, i got upset why she lied to me, she started faking the call as if network is disturbing her claiming that she can't hear me well, telling me to end the call and call her tomorrow so we can talk well, i told her no to stop faking network, she ended the call, i called her back 22 times she did not pick my calls, i sent her diffrent text messages she did not reply, i told her i will never call her again if she did not pick after my calling her 2wise again yet she damm the call.

After an hour she text me thus: PLS AM SORRY WE WILL TALK 2MORO I DON'T MEAN TO GOT U UPSET, DO YOU THINK IF I AM WITH A MAN I WIL PICK UR CALL IN D FIRST PLC? GUD NIT SWT DREMS. She is now claiming is a prank but hell no i don't believe her. House how do i handle this now? I really love her but i can't stand a cheat because i have NEVER cheated to any of my date before.

I want to call of the marriage, i have lost the trust i have for her. I need your mature advice. Thanks all.
it is hard but at this point,i feel you should take a bow and quit the relationship!

1 Like

Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 7:45am On Oct 15, 2015
MarvellousGod:
You're such an insecure guy! !! Give the girl a rest please. ..

You practically control her life yet you say you trust her... she's probably fed up with your insecure attitudes. .. just look at all your comments on this thread.. monitoring and questioning her all the time...
Don't even know your stand, you say she can't cheat on you yet you want to cancel the wedding cos you suspect she cheats... undecided

Please cancel the wedding, it will do her good....

Until you get a clear evidence, she may or may not be cheating on you. .. quit making assumptions. .

I really can't date an insecure guy like you. . More like monitoring spirit undecided
if you call me insecure guy then is obvious you know nothing about me, if ur never married and you found out ur man is housing a girl for two weeks without even informing you, i pray you don't cry woo, if you read my story well u will not say i am insecure guy, was i insecure all these years and period i was offshore? That i have her passwords has notting to do with being insecure because she has mine too. Anyway thanks.

5 Likes

Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 7:50am On Oct 15, 2015
mulki:
sweet story, bros stop lying ....free the babe abeg
if u know me very well you will understang i have no business in romance section of nairaland talk more of making a thread, what would i gain from creating a such thread, i have nairaland friend here with a user name @ihatenaija who happend to be my fb friend he can confirm my story if you doubt much. Thanks
Re: End of story. by focus7: 7:52am On Oct 15, 2015
.
Re: End of story. by focus7: 7:52am On Oct 15, 2015
Guy in my own opinion your babe is a cheat, what you is your decision afterall you are not yet married to her.

1 Like

Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 7:52am On Oct 15, 2015
KRILMIJAY:
with everything I've experienced, Can't believe people still date in dz part of d world, Most Nigerian girls especially those in d Univ r extremely wicked dnt just waste ya time except for a few who should b trusted. Op, ur babe isnt just a cheat, but also pathetic liar dnt just risk d happy family u intend to have , for her all in d name of Love, most bitches dont know wht luv z infact dey mistake sex for luv. u said she luvs u, dnt listen to dt, luv isn't enough anymore, people claim luv but if given gun dey'll shoot u. Focus on ya career , relax & dont rush into Marriage with her or anymore 'cause u might rush out, tk ya time to avoid mistakes & had I known. FINALLY, LET HER GO.
thanx bro.
Re: End of story. by Acidosis(m): 8:01am On Oct 15, 2015
Loooool


Dating a student? Planning a marriage with her?


You're about to spend your hard earned money on a girl that has given her body to POST UME Jambites.


Think well bro, love is a cloud, don't let it becloud your reasoning.

2 Likes

Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 8:05am On Oct 15, 2015
Acidosis:
Loooool


Dating a student? Planning a marriage with her?


You're about to spend your hard earned money on a girl that has given her body to POST UME Jambites.


Think well bro, love is a cloud, don't let it becloud your reasoning.
It hurts
Re: End of story. by Acidosis(m): 8:10am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
It hurts

Yea bro, I perfectly understand your feelings.

Here is what you'd do. Don't just break up, find yourself another girl and keep living.

1 Like

Re: End of story. by HopeAtHand: 8:11am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
@Tonyebarcanista. Omo that bae is no more loyal oo

You have called out the womaniser to help do what exactly??

1 Like

Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 8:12am On Oct 15, 2015
bakynes:
The thing about most Nigerian girls is that they are smart, they know how to make you start doubting your suspicion of them. It will be very evident they are cheating but they will make it look like you are the one who needs to calm down and trust them. Me myself I don mugu too with this issue of ex bf came to do clearance in school has no place to stay nothing happened. That day she stylishly let me return to my house coz I wanted to sleep over on the excuse that, she was going to her friends house to copy lecture notes she misssed and that she will let me know when she is back so I can come back to her flat, na so I wait tire o not knowing the guy don dey her side na so I go there called her out in the night, she don tie towel ready to bath, omo I almost beat her that day, people sha told me to go home. I no fit sleep kept calling in the midnight ran out of credit, borrowed my friends phone kept calling after a while I give up. She came to my place the following day very early as early as 7am to swear with a bible that nothing happened even bleeped me join. So my brother like that Guy said Nigerian girls are not to be trusted. As for me I will not marry any girl below 28 years of age because even if they have messed up themselves before they will act maturely at that age they know what they want no time to be messing around any longer.
lol funny story haa haa
Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 8:18am On Oct 15, 2015
HopeAtHand:


You have called out the womaniser to help do what exactly??
haa haa womaniser? Bro abeg tell me more...anyway he is paddy and kinder in touch with reality abt my R/ship shaa
Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 8:25am On Oct 15, 2015
Acidosis:


Yea bro, I perfectly understand your feelings.

Here is what you'd do. Don't just break up, find yourself another girl and keep living.
it really hurts, finding a new gf is never a problem here because many standby babes would be glad to hear this news, bt how can one start all over again? We have put all the plans in place except date, wel i will let her go totally because still keeping her closer might affect my decision along the line.
Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 8:29am On Oct 15, 2015
focus7:
Guy in my own opinion your babe is a cheat, what you is your decision afterall you are not yet married to her.
called my dad this morning and gave her crew about what is up, bt he seem not interested to hear me out @ all.
Re: End of story. by HopeAtHand: 8:30am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
haa haa womaniser? Bro abeg tell me more...anyway he is paddy and kinder in touch with reality abt my R/ship shaa

I don't give relationship advice tho.. undecided

Just take the decision that brings you peace and comfort of mind...Life is short, it shouldn't be spent on unnecessary thinking especially the one you can smartly avoid.

Adios!

1 Like

Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 8:40am On Oct 15, 2015
menix:


Wow!!!! Sorry to say this, I hate such family nd believe me u can't pull out cous the benefit supersedes ur marriage..

My uncle was denied his luv because of this same mutual benefit, all to give this igbo gal to a northern ex president son who had married his 1st.
There was nothing this family did not do to maintain this same "mutual benefit".

Well, I wish u well in ur life cous my dad being a hard fellow can't even try that with me.
thanx bro, u know all these happend unknown to me "Indirectly"
Re: End of story. by scantee(m): 8:41am On Oct 15, 2015
HopeAtHand:


I don't give relationship advice tho.. undecided

Just take the decision that brings you peace and comfort of mind...Life is short, it shouldn't be spent on unnecessary thinking especially the one you can smartly avoid.

Adios!
Re: End of story. by MaziOmenuko: 9:02am On Oct 15, 2015
Don't leave that girl, you will regret if you do.
Re: End of story. by jaxxy(m): 9:50am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
bro the guy is not her ex, is her gf brother, though she is older that guy but the guy has huge body structure that u will not believe, my problem is nt really about the guy spending 2 weeks in her room since i believe in trust, bt the fact she never told me about it until i found out myself, i would'nt mind paying for a guest house for 2weeks 4 d guy, bt she believe she dnt want me to get upset that was why she never told me abt it. The funiest part is sharing same bed 2geda when i asked her why so? Her defence was weak, that is raining season she can't the guy to sleep on the floor, niether can she. I told her why not beg ur lodge mate guys to allow the guy be sleeping there while he eats and bath in ur house, she don't want to inconvienence anybody.

Did u confirm her story that it Ws actually her gf broda and he is taking post ume for her skol? Did d skol conduct post ume at dat said period? Hv u confirmed it Ws actually her gf broda and bt some other guy?

On the 2nd occasion she faked bad ntwork. My question? Y Ws it only on dat day d ntwork went bad? Or does it happen on other dat wen u call? If she didn't pick 22times then there Ws sm1 definitely with her or else y send u a text instead of picking up. That's shadey!

Now gals cheat and smtmes it can be ignore cos it's just bf/gf thingy BUT wen it's a wife to be bro dats dangerous cos it can creep into ur marriage hence u must be careful.

B4 u started dating her did u asked about her ex bf or past relantionship? If nt u better start asking. Cos I'm nt sure u Knw dis gal beyond wot people close to her hv told u. From wot u say it's her frnds, her parents, bla bla dat say she's a saint bt wot about u? Uve been with her for 3years so wots ur own conclusion about her? Tho u may mt have much to say cos u never arround and dat maybe ur biggest issue to unravel Cos ur relationship move faster than it shud even wen u haven't known her personally enough for it to get to that point. Don't be in a rush and look for time to get to Knw dis lady and who she is or u may end up crying u married a stranger(that people recommended as a saint) cos u alway 90% on water. Seems u know more about sharks than about u gal now. Quite dangerous!

5 Likes

Re: End of story. by amacastel: 9:57am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
i really do appreciate ur input, we had misunderstanding sometime last year i called of the r/ship, guess what? SHE FAINTED AND PASS OUT WE RUSHED HER TO THE HOSPITAL FOR TWO DAYS SHE WAS IN COMA, the Dr warned we should avoid anyting that we make her think deep or angered that she has fregile heart, and is fond of crying and fainting anytine i threaned to quit the r/ship, her mum has been the one controling her heart if i may put it that way.
Oh My God the gurl is a big scam and actress belive me d Dr might even be her sex mate girls in south east uni abt 90% of them r runs girls RUN RUN RUN for ur der life for her to answer ur call wit code simply means she don't love she is following u for benefit SHE IS A GOLD DIGGER, loose, lying, if u marry dt gurl u r in hot soup cos wen u r offshore job she will even sleep with ur gate man

1 Like

Re: End of story. by Kimoni: 9:58am On Oct 15, 2015
We have been together since 2013 to date, we have shared a good time and fund memories, i truely love her and she does too, i have tried my best to make her comfortable and take care of her and make her envy of all her female friends, i have NEVER cheated on her or have the thought of doing so despite we only see during end of every semester, and i traveled a lot and always busy with work though i make sure i do speak with her at least 3x a day with minimum of 30mins per a call just to make sure she don't feel lonely.

Can somebody explain the bolded? Why do guys do this in a relationship? I will never understand the rationale behind why guys treat girls like they are potential gold diggers? It's almost like you are competing with the imaginary aristos in her life.

I don't know if your girl is cheating on you but the foundation of your relationship with her is very superficial and may not survive tough times which, unfortunately, is an unavoidable element in a marriage. Why must she be the envy of all her female friends just because she is dating you? Are you her father undecided

Let a girl love you for you and not what you can provide for her. Stop trying to buy her love just because you can afford it.

9 Likes

Re: End of story. by amacastel: 10:07am On Oct 15, 2015
scantee:
called my dad this morning and gave her crew about what is up, bt he seem not interested to hear me out @ all.
My dear no be ur dad will live with her ur dad don't have any decision to make for u.U brought d gurl to them if u don't trust her again simply call off d relationship wit her.
For her to allow a male visitor in her house4 2whole weeks is enough to quit her no student takes post ume for 2 weeks this is crazy ur dad ko papa ni. THIS IS UR LIFE OOOOOO NOT UR DAD'S THE LAST TIME I CHECK

1 Like

Re: End of story. by Nobody: 10:09am On Oct 15, 2015
I wonder why guys worry themselves over women like this.

First off, long distance isn't good for a relationship that isn't established yet and that may be the reason she is cheating since you aren't readily available when her freak
Nature calls.

Find a woman closer to you.

1 Like

Re: End of story. by Dongreat(m): 10:39am On Oct 15, 2015
Nice quote "a failed relationship....." but please reference it another time. I don't want to charge you for plagiarism :-)

misspicy:

That is why prevention is better than cure,a failed relationship is better than a failed marriage
Re: End of story. by TonyeBarcanista(m): 10:41am On Oct 15, 2015
KashyBaby:


I'm afraid it is...why? cheesy
You don't have to be afraid sweetheart! Where are you from?

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