Mindfulness:


Very good, and you?

I'm cool like that. How is the project you got coming on?

Mindfulness:


What is your point?

Those who plan to cheat should seek for divorce or risk emotional or physical attack from their spouses. What becomes of the attacked cannot be compared with the soft punishments of the attacker.

Regardless of how much we condemn the attacker, the attacked in the case of death or acid burn, is gone and gone forever.

Mindfulness:
I understand your line of argument but I can't understand in.sanity.

ok, well do you understand LOVE?! well its just about the same thing as there is a VERY THIN line between the two.... and many are willingly/unwillingly crossing it.

A man decides to engage in criminal activities to impress a woman. His behavior is WRONG. The woman decides to cheat on him some year into the relationship. Her behavior is WRONG. How is the one better than the other? Why does he feel he has the right to take her life? Does he also feel that someone else has the right to take his life because he tricked them into giving him money? You gave the example of yahoo boys.

please allow me to educate you on the issue: no man, and i repeat NO MAN will gladly let the woman he has supported and almost raised as his own child for yrs by paying rent, school fees, Brazilian hair, recharge cards (and all the insane bling bling that women desire today), and a few yrs and millions of Naira down the line, some dude who never even left a finger/Kobo to help her, come "rob" that good coockie that technically is his (i say rob because she is cheating). HELL NO!!!! that can turn a man into a MAD man in a sec, that can make a man lose all his senses, and that can have a man do the unthinkable. remember, the ego of a man is his worst enemy.
and YES, some of these men go and do all types of crimes because of women

No, MrBrownJ, I can't understand why someone chooses to do wrong and hopes to get scot-free but wants others to die when he is on the receiving end.

i do understand it, its called HYPOCRISY, and acting like this trait is so foreign to Nigerians is a joke. its here all around us, and this man aint any different.
- religious people do it everyday by bringing a Bible to demand that people act a certain way, yet they dont follow whats written in that said bible themselves. HYPOCRITES!
- men do it everyday by believing that its wrong for a woman to marry multiple husbands but ok for a man to marry multiple wives. HYPOCRITES!
- women do it everyday by thinking that its wrong for a woman to spend money on a man but men MUST buy them gifts/handouts etc.
HYPOCRITES!
- working wives do it everyday by thinking that its wrong for a wife to use her salary to pay rent/bills etc yet a husband's salary should be JUST for that. HYPOCRITES!
- men thinking that it is wrong for a woman to cheat but acceptable for men. HYPOCRITES!

It is one thing to want money and it is another to kill people for money.

they kill for money when they get to that INSANITY point and snap (and also because of their lazy nature where they believe that a 9to5 job aint good enough for them)

It was their choice to spend their money on women so they shouldn't complain. It isn't by force. And that's what you are actually preaching. They can buy s.ex but they can't buy love and loyalty.

actually, it WAS by force as NO 9ja WOMAN would date a broke guy or a stingy one (being stingy to them is like death). to "date" them and have any chance of a r/ship, a man needs to spend money on her (recharge card/Braziian hair, money/school fees etc). this is an investment, and having some OTHER dude enjoying such investment is the biggest insult ever. come on, stop pretending you dont know the Nigerian drill!

What I understand is that such people are dangerously sick in the true sense of the word. Any sane person knows that killing the person who hurt you will neither get you your money back nor soothe your pain. It will make everything worse.

off course they are MAD, but at that particular moment they feel better, just like the man who rather burn his house down than have his ex wife win it in the divorce settlement OR the many women who believe that if they cant have you then nobody will, and decide to kill you. its called getting EVEN by any means necessary, and as much as walking away is the BEST option, some women would burn your possessions down, some would tore your car down, others would cut your dikc, and a few would actually try to kill you. welcome to the real world.

@bold
Deluded and in.sane.

blame society and religion for that, not the sheep they've created.

No because people change, in fact everything changes constantly, so whoever is right for you today may be wrong for you tomorrow. You can hope that your relationship / marriage will unfold beautifully but there is no guarantee it will and if it doesn't, murder will neither fix it nor make your life better.

sadly, i fully disagree on that point... yes people change, and when they do (or you do) then you stop and re-evaluate that r/ship.
but it doesnt change the fact that you should find the RIGHT partner, and share life with that person. the problem is when people stay in these "changed" r/ship, at all costs, thanks to SOCIETY and RELIGION (again) and thus end up like this lady.

the main issue here is that this lady should have divorced that man if she wanted to be with another man. HER wrong actions is the spark that created the situation where she ended up dead. you cant pretend here that what she did is somehow RIGHT, just because what was done to her afterwards was evil.

Acidosis:


Those who plan to cheat should seek for divorce or risk emotional or physical attack from their spouses. What becomes of the attacked cannot be compared with the soft punishments of the attacker.

Soft punishment? The fact that the person will rot in jail is a soft punishment?

Regardless of how much we condemn the attacker, the attacked in the case of death or acid burn, is gone and gone forever.

Regardless of how we preach that cheating is wrong, it will always be part of human nature to desire more than one partner and give in to this temptation.

MRBrownJ:


ok, well do you understand LOVE?! well its just about the same thing as there is a VERY THIN line between the two.... and many are willingly/unwillingly crossing it.

There is a THICK LINE between love and insanity if you are a strong person.

please allow me to educate you on the issue: no man, and i repeat NO MAN will gladly let the woman he has supported and almost raised as his own child for yrs by paying rent, school fees, Brazilian hair, recharge cards (and all the insane bling bling that women desire today), and a few yrs and millions of Naira down the line, some dude who never even left a finger/Kobo to help her, come "rob" that good coockie that technically is his (i say rob because she are cheating). HELL NO!!!! that can turn a man into a MAD man in a sec, that can make a man lose all his senses, and that can have a man do the unthinkable. remember, the ego of a man is his worst enemy.
and YES, some of these men go and do all types of crimes because of women

Some men won't give a fvck. They will replace her with a hotter version and move on just like that.

i do understand it, its called HYPOCRISY, and acting like this trait is so foreign to Nigerians is a joke. its here all around us, and this man aint any different.
- religious people do it everyday by bringing a Bible to demand that people act a certain way, yet they themselves dont follow whats written in that said bible themselves. HYPOCRITES!
- men do it everyday by believing that its wrong for a woman to marry multiple husbands but ok for a man to marry multiple wives. HYPOCRITES!
- women do it everyday by thinking that its wrong for a woman to spend money on a man but men MUST buy them gifts/handouts etc.
HYPOCRITES!
- working wives do it everyday by thinking that its wrong for a wife to use her salary to pay rent/bills etc yet a husband's salary should be JUST for that. HYPOCRITES!
- men thinking that it is wrong for a woman to cheat but acceptable for men. HYPOCRITES!

You have just perfectly illustrated why people should NEVER be encouraged to take the law into their own hands. They make the rules as they go.
It is not about justice, it is about one own's interest.

they kill for money when they get to that INSANITY point and snap (and also because of their lazy nature where they believe that a to5 job aint good enough for them)

We agree that it is insane.

actually, it WAS by force as NO 9ja WOMAN would date a broke guy or a stingy one (being stingy to them is like death). to "date" them and have any chance of a r/ship, a man needs to spend money on her (recharge card/Braziian hair, money/school fees etc). this is an investment, and having some OTHER dude enjoying such investment is the biggest insult ever. come on, stop pretending you dont know the Nigerian drill!

It's even worse than prost.itution, it's a modern form of slavery.

off course they are MAD, but at that particular moment they feel better, just like the man who rather burn his house down than have his ex wife win it in the divorce settlement OR the many women who believe that if they cant have you they nobody will, and decide to kill you. its called getting EVEN by any means necessary, and as much as walking away is the BEST option, some women would burn your possessions down, some would tore your car down, others would cut your dikc, and a few would actually try to kill you. welcome to the real world.

My heart goes out to their children.

blame society and religion for that, not the sheep they've created.

I don't feel like blaming anyone. It's not my problem. I have always done what I wanted and I have always lived in a parallel universe and will continue to do so.

sadly, i fully disagree n that point... yes peope change, and when they do (or you do) then you stop and re-evaluate that r/ship.
but it doesnt change the fact that you should find the RIGHT partner, and share life with that person. the problem is when people stay in these "changed" r/ship, at all cost thanks to SOCIETY and RELIGION (again) and thus end up like this lady.

I agree but I am rebellious by default unlike the masses who feel that they need to please the society or the church.

the main issue here is that this lady should have divorced that man if she wanted to be with another man. HER wrong actions is the spark that created the situation where she ended up dead. you cant pretend here that what she did is somehow RIGHT, just because what was done to her afterwards was evil.

Some people - men and women - want to stay in a relationship / marriage and yet have an 'adventure' here or there every now and then.
Don't blame me, blame nature.

I wouldn't take it so personally and make a whole drama out of it. Forgive or walk away. It's not worth a massacre.

joseph1832:
I'm cool like that. How is the project you got coming on?

Very good.

It's coming to an end slowly. It's been fun.

Mindfulness:
Regardless of how we preach that cheating is wrong, it will always be part of human nature to desire more than one partner and give in to this temptation.

What on earth is being argued here?

That the temptation to cheat and giving in to that temptation is part of human nature, but violence and the instinctual response to acts of threat, fraud, or deceit with violence is not?

The whole premise of this thread is flawed and in no way solves the problems of cheating, violence or divorce. Indeed, it states cheating by wives as a right (when it's patently wrong), and divorce (another wrong) as a solution? Wetin una chop

I give no truck to violence, but I do not consider cheating as a lesser sin. In fact, the bible talks of divorce as an act of violence. Why does it appear that most women are incapable of arguing for anything other than their own happiness (and based on wilful or even destructive desires)?

When a man hits a woman it's violence/abuse, but when a man hits a woman who hit him first, it's "two fighting". Men must never react violently to cheating (or anything else), but women have a right to cheat?

Tragic.


TV

MRBrownJ:


any WRONG act is not acceptable, whether cheating or murder.



we often read on NL of many that are gladly committing suicide because they got dumped by their partner, so i guess to some, yes it must be.

Seriously? Cheating and murder are now criminal offence? To educate you, cheating is not a criminal offence in law. Murder is a criminal offence in law.

Any man that think he will physically abuse his wife for cheating on him should be ready for jail. Remember no jail on earth for cheaters, but jail is there for abusers and Murderers.

A woman can stay in her marriage and endure bitterness or get out of the marriage to cheat or get of the marriage through divorce. All these three options are legal.

TV01:

What on earth is being argued here?

That the temptation to cheat and giving in to that temptation is part of human nature, but violence and the instinctual response to acts of threat, fraud, or deceit with violence is not?

Very good point. In fact, the urge to take revenge and do 'justice' is very human in my opinion.

I am not saying that cheating is right BUT I think that jungle justice is even more dangerous.

The whole premise of this thread is flawed and in no way solves the problems of cheating, violence or divorce. Indeed, it states cheating by wives as a right (when it's patently wrong), and divorce (another wrong) as a solution? Wetin una chop

What is the solution to cheating?

I give no truck to violence, but I do not consider cheating as a lesser sin. In fact, the bible talks of divorce as an act of violence. Why does it appear that most women are incapable of arguing for anything other than their own happiness (and based on wilful or even destructive desires)?
When a man hits a woman it's violence/abuse, but when a man hits a woman who hit him first, it's "two fighting". Men must never react violently to cheating (or anything else), but women have a right to cheat?

TV, you are addressing the wrong person. Have I ever said anything like this?

Tragic.


TV

ALL IS WELL.

What is even being argued here, that a woman who cheats should expect to be killed or what?

Mindfulness:


Very good.

It's coming to an end slowly. It's been fun.

Oh, so nice to hear... I'm glad.

Acidosis:


Those who plan to cheat should seek for divorce or risk emotional or physical attack from their spouses. What becomes of the attacked cannot be compared with the soft punishments of the attacker.

Regardless of how much we condemn the attacker, the attacked in the case of death or acid burn, is gone and gone forever.

Acidosis:

No, I am only opposing OP's stance that a woman can freely cheat on her husband, and walk away after the act..

What should the husband do? Kill her?

Acidosis:
Can a man also cheat on her wife, and walk away?

Are you honestly asking this question? In Nigeria?

Acidosis:
Before they cheat, they should find good reasons to depart.

I agree

sweetcocoa:
What is even being argued here, that a woman who cheats should expect to be killed or what?

Yes!

sweetcocoa:
What is even being argued here, that a woman who cheats should expect to be killed or what?

So, what should a husband do to a cheating wife?

nnamdibig:


Am not in anyway supporting domestic violence.

Ok

nnamdibig:
But in regards to your statement
"A wife has the right to cheat, the husband had the right to divorce her."

I still stand by that. A husband cannot hold the wife's pvssy from sleeping with another man. If her husband cannot take it, he can send her packing aka divorce her.

nnamdibig:
Let me sound very African, if the wife cheats & the husband divorces her, will the wife refund her bride price & all that was spent in making her a wife or will she still claim damages??
Before a wife cheats, she should be mindful of huge amount paid on her head as bride price and all the statements coming from her parents & kinsmen that she is the best of the best and the rest. And all the complements given to the husband that he has just paid for the best wife in town. When you hear this kind of things, your family has already created the impression that they are selling you off to the man. And when the man start seeing it that he paid huge sum of money on her head. That's when the problem starts, He will start giving orders to the goods & commodities he payed for.

So the issue is not the adultery but the fact that the wife was bought eons ago & the husband's investment has gone down the drain?

If the man kills the adulterous wife, does it return his bride price to him? Does it change the fact that the goods he bought did not serve him well? Does the jail term he serves compensate for the bad investment?

If a man feels the bride price is the problem, he can go to his wife's kinsmen and ask for a refund; I hear some customs return bride price as a sign of divorce.

Is a wife free to kill her cheating husband? [size=2pt]I guess African culture doesn't recognize cheating husbands[/size]

Mindfulness:
There is a THICK LINE between love and insanity if you are a strong person.

sadly, 110% of people doing what this man did AINT strong.... and that is why nobody should mess with such insane person (aka time bomb).

Some men won't give a fvck. They will replace her with a hotter version and move on just like that.

unfortunately, the majority (and their ego) WOULD give a fukc. what you wrote is the "ideal" thing to do, but when things are facing you, its a different story....
here is a clue: a man cheats on his gf and she finds out, the mature thing would be to dump that guy, right? well, why do you think some women (instead of focussing on their cheating partner) would rather go beat the woman he cheated with? happens ALL the time and whats "ideal" to do at that moment, is quickly forgotten! thats because it makes them FEEL GOOD at that moment.... same with that mad man and whatever punishment he thought was worthy of her wrongdoings.

You have just perfectly illustrated why people should NEVER be encouraged to take the law into their own hands. They make the rules as they go. It is not about justice, it is about one own's interest.

this is the sick world we live in today, blame society and religion for that, not the deluded sheep they created.

It's even worse than prost.itution, it's a modern form of slavery.

YES!!! and most Nigerian men are unwilling players in this sad game. money has always been an issue in Africa, and thinking that a man will gladly look at such money as a "loss" (when that babe cheats/disappears) is a joke. the 1st thing that comes to such man's mind is anger/revenge/payback.

My heart goes out to their children.

mine goes out to the many stoopid people out there who will hear about this story but who would still think they are smart, and cheat on their mad partner, instead of leaving them.

I don't feel like blaming anyone. It's not my problem. I have always done what I wanted and I have always lived in a parallel universe and will continue to do so.

when i see so many deluded and insane sheep out there, who cant think for themselves, i DO need to blame somebody... as we need to FIX the problem or we will ultimately all fail!

I agree but I am rebellious by default unlike the masses who feel that they need to please the society or the church.

look around, so many will rather put religion before their own lives, and possibly end up in jail due to some BS beliefs that man is the head of family AND women should be submissive and under men, because some book says so.

Some people - men and women - want to stay in a relationship / marriage and yet have an 'adventure' here or there every now and then.
Don't blame me, blame nature. I wouldn't take it so personally and make a whole drama out of it. Forgive or walk away. It's not worth a massacre.

i do blame nature, and i also blame the same nature for the consequences (aka madness/massacre)

Mindfulness:
Very good point. In fact, the urge to take revenge and do 'justice' is very human in my opinion.

So, cheating - according to you - is human, as is violence. Why focus on eliminating one, when they are both destructive aspects of human nature. And more so in this instance, focus on eliminating the consequence, and not the cause?

Mindfulness:
I am not saying that cheating is right BUT I think that jungle justice is even more dangerous.

Even if I agree with this, it remains an opinion shared, no more

Mindfulness:
What is the solution to cheating?

Not to cheat. Easy peasy

Mindfulness:
TV, you are addressing the wrong person. Have I ever said anything like this?

I'm not necessarily placing this at your feet, but it's writ large in this thread - even in the premise. And elsewhere in our on-going discussion on the Family board.

Mindfulness:
ALL IS WELL.

Make I regulate finish first

sweetcocoa:
What is even being argued here, that a woman who cheats should expect to be killed or what?

Who let you out? Don't you have exams? Please tell us, what should a woman who cheats expect?


TV

bukatyne:

I still stand by that. A husband cannot hold the wife's pvssy from sleeping with another man. If her husband cannot take it, he can send her packing aka divorce her.

shouldnt you instead say that a woman shouldnt stay married to her husband if she desire to have sex with another man?! OR BETTER YET, if a wife cannot stand by the marriages vows/laws she took, she can get the hell out this marriage?!

the REVERSE way you look at such issue (in order to solely blame this man) is so wrong. i guess, the only person who is responsible for what happened is the husband, right?

MRBrownJ:


sadly, 110% of people doing what this man did AINT strong.... and that is why nobody should mess with such insane person (aka time bomb).

People shouldn't get married to them in the first place but it is not always that obvious and sometimes develops after the deed has been done.

unfortunately, the majority (and their ego) WOULD give a fukc. what you wrote is the "ideal" thing to do, but when things are facing you, its a different story....
here is a clue: a man cheats on his gf and she finds out, the mature thing would be to dump that guy, right? well, why do you think some women (instead of focussing on their cheating partner) would rather go beat the woman he cheated with? happens ALL the time and whats "ideal" to do at that moment, is quickly forgotten! thats because it makes them FEEL GOOD at that moment.... same with that mad man and whatever punishment he thought was worthy of her wrongdoings.

I understand that they are reaching out for relief BUT it is not long lasting and may do more harm than good to themselves.

this is the sick world we live in today, blame society and religion for that, not the deluded sheep they created.

Everyone has got a brain, they should start and use it.

YES!!! and most Nigerian men are unwilling players in this sad game. money has always been an issue in Africa, and thinking that a man will gladly look at such money as a "loss" (when that babe cheats/disappears) is a joke. the 1st thing that comes to such man's mind is anger/revenge/payback.

Well, what can I say? There are always two parties involved - such men and their women.

mine goes out to the many stoopid people out there who will hear about this story but who would still think they are smart, and cheat on their mad partner, instead of leaving them.

You consider them stvpid, they think that they are smart because most of them get away with it one way or another. Women are very good at hiding it and men have plenty of excuses.

when i see so many deluded and insane sheep out there, who cant think for themselves, i DO need to blame somebody... as we need to FIX the problem or we will ultimately all fail!

Well, I have not come to this world to fix other people's problems but holla at me if you need some support.

look around, so many will rather put religion before their own lives, and possibly end up in jail due to some BS beliefs that man is the head of family AND women should be submissive and under men, because some book says so.

Well, it works for some couples so I let them be and let them live their lives as they choose to. But Lord have mercy upon their poor souls if they try to impose their beliefs on myself and my life.

i do blame nature, and i also blame the same nature for the consequences (aka madness/massacre)

I would rather be at peace and joyful.

Mindfulness:


Soft punishment? The fact that the person will rot in jail is a soft punishment?


Regardless of how we preach that cheating is wrong, it will always be part of human nature to desire more than one partner and give in to this temptation.

hmn, jail term is better and more conducive than acid burn/gruesome death

I agree with your second point #100%

Oyind17:

Lol
Wetin?

Mindfulness:


Yes!

Oh really? That's nice.

TV01:

Who let you out? Don't you have exams? Please tell us, what should a woman who cheats expect?


TV

Agbaya, face your front.

TV01:

So, cheating - according to you - is human, as is violence. Why focus on eliminating one, when they are both destructive aspects of human nature. And more so, eliminate the consequence, and no the cause?

First of all, I am not here to eliminate any problems. I am just speaking my mind and sharing my thoughts for the fun of it.
Secondly, cheating is a personal issue. Jungle justice is a public issue.

Even if I agree with this, it remains an opinion shared, no more

I don't agree but let's agree to disagree.

Not to cheat. Easy peasy

It's easy for you and it is easy for me but it OBVIOUSLY is not so easy for MANY people of this generation, previous generations and future generations.

I'm not necessarily placing this at your feet, but it's writ large in this thread - even in the premise. And elsewhere in our on-going discussion on the Family board.

Good to know.

Make I regulate finish first

Your calling.

joseph1832:
So, what should a husband do to a cheating wife?

Go on his knees and pray she repents, while doing everything he can to make sure he provides all her needs, there's no way she won't stop cheating if he does this.

joseph1832:
So, what should a husband do to a cheating wife?

He can forgive her.
He can cheat back.
He can leave her.


All of these solutions would be better than murder.

bukatyne:


What should the husband do? Kill her?

Some men are mean and aggressive.

We all know the kind of man/woman we marry. Some women are so gentle they react to cheating husbands with tears; some are blunt, they'll beat the hell out of the lady.

Telling everyone to react the same way is an exercise in futility.

Acidosis:


hmn, jail term is better and more conducive than acid burn/gruesome death

Well, some people would rather die than spend the rest of their life in jail.

Also, if you kill someone because the person cheated on you and you end up in jail, your WHOLE innocent family will suffer too. Your kids, your siblings and your parents.

Is a cheating spouse worth it?

I agree with your second point #100%

Acidosis:


Lol

Wetin?

Who cheat on you wey u dey on top cheating matter since morning

Oyind17:
Who cheat on you wey u dey on top cheating matter since morning

MRBrownJ:


shouldnt you instead say that a woman shouldnt stay married to her husband if she desire to have sex with another man?! OR BETTER YET, if a wife cannot stand by the marriages vows/laws she took, she can get the hell out this marriage?!

the REVERSE way you look at such issue (in order to solely blame this man) is so wrong. i guess, the only person who is responsible for what happened is the husband, right?

Mr. Brown,

We are not discussing adultery here; we are discussing if death (at the hands of the spouse) is a deserving consequence of adultery.

And I 100% agree with you that a woman/man shouldn't stay married if they desire to have other partners. I also believe someone who cheats when the other partner errs is indirectly saying they are done with the marriage.

This now leads to other questions...

1. Is sex = love
2. Do people who cheat no longer interested in their marriages?