postmann:


The ancestors are full of wisdom no doubt. Theirs was pure, naked wisdom. They walked closer with the gods and learned firsthand.All the best books on wisdom were written by them. Theirs was an imperfect world too. But if we allowed most of their values to prevail, we would be safer.




That comparison is most unfortunate. And it must have been birthed from a mind conditioned to think negatively by prevailing circumstances.

It is manly to fight and earn a woman. Not as a property but as an act of being able to take care of her.

And yes, a woman belongs to her father. In marriage contraction, bride price is a form of gratitude or appeasement to her father and her father's people.



There's honour when a man recognises the fact that his woman is priceless and that if she actually was to be sold, she definitely couldn't be bought. The bridal list of requirements and process may be flawed in some climes, but then again, men who know how valuable their women are will go for it bringing honour to their women, she's worth it and more.






Even after the bride price is paid, even after several years, the process can still be reversed with the bride price returned. It was never a matter of buying and selling as the antagonists would like everyone to believe.

It is simply a matter of symbolic traditional requirements for man and spirit.

"Unclad wisdom" really? I can't even begin to punch holes on their "Unclad wisdom", too tired for that. The only thing returned is the token monetary price, what happens to every other thing on the list which they also accepted in cash or material? Why should the father be appeased? A culture mostly driven by greed and too much want. My opinion is born out of careful consideration and not prevailing circumstance. What do you think about the entire list being scrapped and the token itself which is always between 5-20k maintained? Don't you think it will make the process less commercial?

SalomonKane:
It's the spur of the moment. It happens and there isn't anything one can do about it. That's why we go with the flow.

However, I will not look the other way if and when lobotomize and depraved massa damnata purile individuals feel the need to insult my parents just because there is no age in the internet.

Least I say if this were to be real life, that purus idiota of a failed experiment born out of a test tube, will be running errands for me.

So, we should be careful who and whose opinion we support or adhere to because I still will never believe a teenager should meddle in the affairs of men, be it in the internet or real life, after all, this is the family section.

People have a right to whatever preferred opinion and are free to acknowledge any opinion that align with theirs. It's nothing to fight about really, nothing to insult each other about.

byvan03:


People have a right to whatever preferred opinion and are free to acknowledge any opinion that align with theirs. It's nothing to fight about really, nothing to insult each other about.

No doubt. But what I don't like is having someone who knows absolutely nothing about what's being said, open his gob and spew the things his demented head can't even comprehend, just because he has the joy of Google.

In as much as everybody is free to air his or her opinion. I'm more concern about where that opinion stem from, whether it is informed, or was forged from the irons of truth.

Never forget, this age has given birth to uninformed and myopic opinion. So one needs to be careful about the kind of opinion one reads and accept.

SalomonKane:
No doubt. But what I don't like is having someone who knows absolutely nothing about what's being said, open his gob and spew the things his demented head can't even comprehend, just because he has the joy of Google.

In as much as everybody is free to air his or her opinion. I'm more concern about where that opinion stem from, whether it is informed, or was forged from the irons of truth.

Never forget, this age has given birth to uninformed and myopic opinion. So one needs to be careful about the kind of opinion one reads and accept.

E no reach fight jare, break it off already.

byvan03:

E no reach fight jare, break it off already.

Can do, will do.

byvan03:





"Unclad wisdom" really? I can't even begin to punch holes on their "Unclad wisdom", too tired for that. The only thing returned is the token monetary price, what happens to every other thing on the list which they also accepted in cash or material? Why should the father be appeased? A culture mostly driven by greed and too much want. My opinion is born out of careful consideration and not prevailing circumstance. What do you think about the entire list being scrapped and the token itself which is always between 5-20k maintained? Don't you think it will make the process less commercial?

Until one comes to the reality of what marriage is, the significance and importance of bride price might not be truly appreciated.


The bride's father and family are appeased because a daughter they have nurtured all her life would be leaving them. If you're conversant with the bible, you'd understand this principle. The process of being married out, deserves some fanfare.

Now, GOD is the originator of marriage and HE left nothing to chance concerning it's rules and requirements. Bride prices are fixed. Man has corrupted the process no doubt by his greed but still, bride price is necessary and symbolic.

The bitter truth is that people are beginning to use this harmless traditional rite as a commercial means to an end. People now see the bride price rite as an opportunity to extract money and valuables from others all in the name of keeping tradition.

If we are really to go back to the original bride price requirements, we would truly discover now that 'padding' did not just start in the federal sector. It has being actively practiced in the traditional marriage sector too.

#PovertyIsAVirus

omakay:
The bitter truth is that people are beginning to use this harmless traditional rite as a commercial means to an end. People now see the bride price rite as an opportunity to extract money and valuables from others all in the name of keeping tradition.

If we are really to go back to the original bride price requirements, we would truly discover now that 'padding' did not just start in the federal sector. It has being actively practiced in the traditional marriage sector too.

#PovertyIsAVirus

You're right.

postmann:


Until one comes to the reality of what marriage is, the significance and importance of bride price might not be truly appreciated.


The bride's father and family are appeased because a daughter they have nurtured all her life would be leaving them. If you're conversant with the bible, you'd understand this principle. The process of being married out, deserves some fanfare.

Now, GOD is the originator of marriage and HE left nothing to chance concerning it's rules and requirements. Bride prices are fixed. Man has corrupted the process no doubt by his greed but still, bride price is necessary and symbolic.

@Bold:

The Bible says a man will leave his father & mother and cleave to his wife....

Isn't the husband the one to leave his family? Shouldn't women be the ones paying their husbands? At least, we have such in India and Britain (till it was cancelled).

@OP:

I really agree with byvan03 though we don't collect money and the wife's family present some gifts to he hubby's family and hosts the ceremony.

The term 'price' connotes a transaction.

bukatyne:


@Bold:

The Bible says a man will leave his father & mother and cleave to his wife....

Isn't the husband the one to leave his family? Shouldn't women be the ones paying their husbands? At least, we have such in India and Britain (till it was cancelled).

@OP:

I really agree with byvan03 though we don't collect money and the wife's family present some gifts to he hubby's family and hosts the ceremony.

The term 'price' connotes a transaction.

Thank you!

bukatyne:


@Bold:

The Bible says a man will leave his father & mother and cleave to his wife....

Isn't the husband the one to leave his family? Shouldn't women be the ones paying their husbands? At least, we have such in India and Britain (till it was cancelled).

@OP:

I really agree with byvan03 though we don't collect money and the wife's family present some gifts to he hubby's family and hosts the ceremony.

The term 'price' connotes a transaction.

Here you are at last!!!

Your savoury altruism in the last miss NL contest lingers. (I can't believe I just sounded like lezz!)

I'm still humbled and grateful.

Back to topic;

The scriptural citation above shouldn't be taken out of contest. It was given in the understanding that a woman leaves her father and mother by the act of marriage and goes into a new family unlike a man. So GOD was emphasising on the man detaching from his mother and father so he can become one with his wife.

It's like the scripture that said, man love your wife and woman respect your husband. Taken out of context, many interpret it to mean it's not obligatory for women to love their husbands and not also obligatory for men to respect their wives. When in essence, scripture was putting more emphasis on whom who is more prone to default.

Does a man cleave to his wife in her father's house? Or are his children given by her traced through his wife's descent? Of course not! So, there are no basis for a woman paying the bride price.

Yes, the bride's family play Its role in the ceremony too. That's not strange.

We understand the word "price" chiefly from a monetary point because, well, English is an adopted language to us. But like I told byvan03, in the bribe price context, see it (price) as a requirement.

A good example was King Saul requiring a 100 foreskin of the Philistians from David as the bride price requirement for his daughter, Michal.

byvan03:





"Unclad wisdom" really? I can't even begin to punch holes on their "Unclad wisdom", too tired for that. The only thing returned is the token monetary price, what happens to every other thing on the list which they also accepted in cash or material? Why should the father be appeased? A culture mostly driven by greed and too much want. My opinion is born out of careful consideration and not prevailing circumstance. What do you think about the entire list being scrapped and the token itself which is always between 5-20k maintained? Don't you think it will make the process less commercial?

Are you Igbo?

lezz:
Are you Igbo?

Yes, why?

byvan03:




Yes, why?

You gave it away with the picture you painted traditional marriage rites.

The bride price is Symbolic in significance and as well as the kneeling down of the bride to offer the groom a drink from her father.

It doesn't imply the selling off of the bride. Marriage is a serious and secred business, passage into it should be Symbolic and colourful in deed as well as in tediousness.

It is no coincidence that traditional societies the world over who still practice old traditional rites of marriages have the most lasting marriages ever still.

Eg, the Jewish , African and Ethiopian communities.

While a smattering amount of families can exploit the Symbolic act for an avenue of material aquirement, it doesn't change what the pride prize symbolises:

A sign of gratitude and appreciation for a daughter whom you have come to marry away.

Note that in traditional African societies, the refund of the bride price is a sign of divorce in totality too.

lezz:
You gave it away with the picture you painted traditional marriage rites.

The bride price is Symbolic in significance and as well as the kneeling down of the bride to offer the groom a drink from her father.

It doesn't imply the selling off of the bride. Marriage is a serious and secred business, passage into it should be Symbolic and colourful in deed as well as in tediousness.

It is no coincidence that traditional societies the world over who still practice old traditional rites of marriages have the most lasting marriages ever still.

Eg, the Jewish , African and Ethiopian communities.

While a smattering amount of families can exploit the Symbolic act for an avenue of material aquirement, it doesn't change what the pride prize symbolises:

A sign of gratitude and appreciation for a daughter whom you have come to marry away.

Note that in traditional African societies, the refund of the bride price is a sign of divorce in totality too.

I think the Fulani method of enduring several strokes of cane is more symbolic and significant. If you tell me that marriages instituted on this premise last longer, I will totally see why. No man will want to endure it more than once or twice. A mild version of "catching a grenade for ya" is symbolic enough, much more so than goats, yams, wrappers, kolanuts which eventually gets converted to money if the groom is coming from a far distance. Some demand gold, tricycles for the girl's generation including the grannies amongst them. What of the groom rendering a few years of service to his prospective father in law as bride price, won't that be more symbolic?

byvan03:



I think the Fulani method of enduring several strokes of cane is more symbolic and significant. If you tell me that marriages instituted on this premise last longer, I will totally see why. No man will want to endure it more than once or twice. A mild version of "catching a grenade for ya" is symbolic enough, much more so than goats, yams, wrappers, kolanuts which eventually gets converted to money if the groom is coming from a far distance. Some demand gold, tricycles for the girl's generation including the grannies amongst them. What of the groom rendering a few years of service to his prospective father in law as bride price, won't that be more symbolic?

I love the idea of my husband being flogged a hundred strokes though, makes a lot of sense

byvan03:



I think the Fulani method of enduring several strokes of cane is more symbolic and significant. If you tell me that marriages instituted on this premise last longer, I will totally see why. No man will want to endure it more than once or twice. A mild version of "catching a grenade for ya" is symbolic enough, much more so than goats, yams, wrappers, kolanuts which eventually gets converted to money if the groom is coming from a far distance. Some demand gold, tricycles for the girl's generation including the grannies amongst them. What of the groom rendering a few years of service to his prospective father in law as bride price, won't that be more symbolic?

What then is your opinion how traditional marriage should be done?

lezz:
What then is your opinion how traditional marriage should be done?

It can be done anyway that doesn't involve that disturbing list. Just exchange a symbolic item, I have heard of a calabash as the bride price. It gets broken in front of the families to signify a divorce. The couple should decide how much fanfare they desire without having to abide by any list.

Wow.....So much bile and hatred.

You two fvcking retards should take a chill pill before one of you commits suicide....haba...!!!

LadyOfgrace:
I love the idea of my husband being flogged a hundred strokes though, makes a lot of sense

mean bride.

byvan03:




It can be done anyway that doesn't involve that disturbing list.

Any how? In other words, just any" other option" that doesn't involve that "list" will do? You have nothing better to proffer then.

byvan03:


Just exchange a symbolic item, I have heard of a calabash as the bride price. It gets broken in front of the families to signify a divorce.

A calabash? If an item is to be accepted in symbolism for a would-be bride, it has to be a calabash? Lolz. What does it signify? And which community does that. I can well imagine two lust-addicts presenting a dozen calabashes for marriage and breaking it off to signify divorce.

byvan03:



The couple should decide how much fanfare they desire without having to abide by any list.

You just exposed your shallow idea here.

First off, marriage is a societial acceptable institution recognised by government, church and society at large.

So couples can't fix how a marriage should be conducted. Come up with something better

byvan03:



mean bride.

lezz:
Any how? In other words, just any" other option" that doesn't involve that "list" will do? You have nothing better to proffer then.
A calabash? If an item is to be accepted in symbolism for a would-be bride, it has to be a calabash? Lolz. What does it signify? And which community does that. I can well imagine two lust-addicts presenting a dozen calabashes for marriage and breaking it off to signify divorce.
You just exposed your shallow idea here.

First off, marriage is a societial acceptable institution recognised by government, church and society at large.

So couples can't fix how a marriage should be conducted. Come up with something better

It's not really my job to convince you. Its ok to disregard my so called "shallow " opinion and move on.

Word

darkenedrebel:
Culture is dynamic, and the tradition of bride price did not fall down like manna from heaven, it was institutionalized by humans—our ancestors if you may.

So, since culture is an invention of man that is dynamic, its relevancy should be gauged from time to time to determine if it still has value and worthy of practicing, or if it is just an anachronism constituting a nuisance.

I hold no briefs for the concept of bride price—never did and never will. It is an unnecessary practice and a nuisance with little to zero symbolic import.

And not just because I see it as women being bought or any of that kind of stuff, but because I refuse to let my ancestors think for me, because I refuse to follow rules mapped out centuries ago by people whose intentions during the process of conceiving these rules remain unclear.

This generation must begin to think for itself rather than harking back to the past and letting our ancestors think for us.

Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across on this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment is being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

lezz:
You gave it away with the picture you painted traditional marriage rites.

The bride price is Symbolic in significance and as well as the kneeling down of the bride to offer the groom a drink from her father.

It doesn't imply the selling off of the bride. Marriage is a serious and secred business, passage into it should be Symbolic and colourful in deed as well as in tediousness.

It is no coincidence that traditional societies the world over who still practice old traditional rites of marriages have the most lasting marriages ever still.

Eg, the Jewish , African and Ethiopian communities.

While a smattering amount of families can exploit the Symbolic act for an avenue of material aquirement, it doesn't change what the pride prize symbolises:

A sign of gratitude and appreciation for a daughter whom you have come to marry away.

Note that in traditional African societies, the refund of the bride price is a sign of divorce in totality too.

postmann:

The ancestors are full of wisdom no doubt. Theirs was pure, naked wisdom. They walked closer with the gods and learned firsthand.All the best books on wisdom were written by them. Theirs was an imperfect world too. But if we allowed most of their values to prevail, we would be safer.
That comparison is most unfortunate. And it must have been birthed from a mind conditioned to think negatively by prevailing circumstances.
It is manly to fight and earn a woman. Not as a property but as an act of being able to take care of her.
And yes, a woman belongs to her father. In marriage contraction, bride price is a form of gratitude or appeasement to her father and her father's people.
There's honour when a man recognises the fact that his woman is priceless and that if she actually was to be sold, she definitely couldn't be bought. The bridal list of requirements and process may be flawed in some climes, but then again, men who know how valuable their women are will go for it bringing honour to their women, she's worth it and more.
Even after the bride price is paid, even after several years, the process can still be reversed with the bride price returned. It was never a matter of buying and selling as the antagonists would like everyone to believe.
It is simply a matter of symbolic traditional requirements for man and spirit.

cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

Another taradiddle from no one else but Coco herself.

It's a waste of digital ink reasserting you have always been pro-divorce and the institution of marriage means little to you.

Men are the founders and custodians of culture and tradition and it's our prerogative to change and alter it while you opt for triffle claptrap and blackmail.

You have never seen life beyond your feminist-binoculars. So you advocate that marriage be actualised by fücking and kissing?

Even in courtship men have always brought gifts as a symbolic gesture for the women they love. And most families, spearheaded by the fathers have always returned the bride price taking only a pinch of it as a mark of good will.

Coco, Men have always frowned at usurious and expensive marital requirements, but advocating that bride price be abolished, when we all know majority of families demand only a token only bears credence that you're uncomfortable with yourself.

Real women are comfortable with reasonable bride price, women like you who are covered with false airs and postiche are always without any sense of culture and tradition.

If your community (hello Byvan03) demand for keke napep and sewing machines and all the wrappers assorted for the women in your village, mine don't .

cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

It goes beyond just tradition! It's very spiritual in all of its essence. Sometimes, I'm forced to tone down the spiritual signifance of a subject of discourse just to accommodate all views, but what is of GOD is of GOD. And marriage is of GOD. Humans only try to hijack HIS gifts thereby playing the thief.

For every institution established on earth by GOD there is a deep significant purpose.

Eg: Father-child relationship A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am a father, where is my honor? Mal 1:6

Except we realise our parents are worthy of our respect and honour not just because they provided for us, we'd miss the true essence of such a relationship which actually is a symbol of GOD being our heavenly FATHER. GOD setup an earthly system of what is prevalent in the spirit that we may have a taste of what life entails and learn to live by HIS divine wisdom and will.

Husband-wife relationship It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the best man is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. John 3:29

CHRIST is called the bridegroom by GOD HIMSELF. Now for any who don't recognise what a bridegroom is, will never come to respect and give honour to her husband. Neither will she appreciate the bride price. Scripture tells us CHRIST bought us over with HIS blood and HE is likened and Infact called THE BRIDEGROOM and we HIS BRIDE.


You see, marriage like most institutions GOD set up, has deep spiritual undertone. But the rebellious would never come to terms with it. They're too proud to be governed by the law of wisdom. They can actually think for themselves.

Bride price preserve marriage to a good extent. It creates a great sense of responsibility and solemnity to marriage.

For the many who have been corrupted, it should just be a matter of spoken words. Then it would have been an open door where all sorts of character go in and out as often as they please.

But sorry, the marriage act is ritualistic and it's beyond the grasp of scholars who have lost their senses of origin.

It takes a woman of pride (and pride is just one of the many faces of insecurity) to reject or abhor bride price.

cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

I can't wait for every damn thing to be scrapped, let's see what is there to hold onto. You totally got the drift. The koboko method should be the bride price, since they need something to win, money is too disposable . I doubt any man will subject himself to that without being blind,deaf and crippled in love. This method certainly will be more preserving for the institution. When you want behave like the devil's sanitary pad and remember how many strokes you endured to win her, you comport yourself.

byvan03:



I can't wait for every damn thing to be scrapped, let's see what is there to hold onto. You totally got the drift. The koboko method should be the bride price, since they need something to win, money is too disposable . I doubt any man will subject himself to that without being blind,deaf and crippled in love. This method certainly will be more preserving for the institution. When you want behave like the devil's sanitary pad and remember how many strokes you endured to win her, you comport yourself.

Have you read about the "koboko" method in the clime where it is practiced? Or what it signifies?

Well, for the fulanis, it's actually an act of warriorhood; that the man can actually protect his wife! It's synonymous with the manly rituals undergone by some male adolescents to register their manhood in some other cultures.

And yes, the fulanis pay bride price of herds of cows and other expensive items too.

And if you think the absence of bride price negates a husband's authority over you, then you're under deceit. Infact, your father can give you off for free to your husband. And he has the powers to do so. It wont makes you any less his wife and he has authority over you in the spiritual and physical realms.

postmann:


Have you read about the "koboko" method in the clime where it is practiced? Or what it signifies?

Well, for the fulanis, it's actually an act of warriorhood; that the man can actually protect his wife! It's synonymous with the manly rituals undergone by some male adolescents to register their manhood in some other cultures.

And yes, the fulanis pay bride price of herds of cows and other expensive items too.

And if you think the absence of bride price negates a husband's authority over you, then you're under deceit. Infact, your father can give you off for free to your husband. And he has the powers to do so. It wont makes you any less his wife and he has authority over you in the spiritual and physical realms.

You and physical /spiritual realm are like 5 n 6 . In that case, the biblical method of serving the girl's father for a few years will suffice, am sure there won't be any cow required afterwards.

crackhaus:
Hmmm, this your list is inconclusive.

Our so-called Nigerian feminists still dey give list and collect brideprice before person fit marry dem na...why the confusion?

Your Category 5 should be:

[size=18pt]THE POST-MODERN CONFUSIONIST[/size]

This one is truly sweet to be noted

byvan03:



You and physical /spiritual realm are like 5 n 6 . In that case, the biblical method of serving the girl's father for a few years will suffice, am sure there won't be any cow required afterwards.

nice one too