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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price (8593 Views)
Woman Begs Her Estranged Husband To Come And Collect His Bride Price. Photos / Man Insists On Paying Extra Bride Price After Seeing His Wife In This Dress / 2016 Bride Price In Umuahia, Abia State (photo) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 12:21am On Aug 08, 2016 |
postmann: "Unclad wisdom" really? I can't even begin to punch holes on their "Unclad wisdom", too tired for that. The only thing returned is the token monetary price, what happens to every other thing on the list which they also accepted in cash or material? Why should the father be appeased? A culture mostly driven by greed and too much want. My opinion is born out of careful consideration and not prevailing circumstance. What do you think about the entire list being scrapped and the token itself which is always between 5-20k maintained? Don't you think it will make the process less commercial? |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 12:25am On Aug 08, 2016 |
SalomonKane: People have a right to whatever preferred opinion and are free to acknowledge any opinion that align with theirs. It's nothing to fight about really, nothing to insult each other about. |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 12:31am On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03:No doubt. But what I don't like is having someone who knows absolutely nothing about what's being said, open his gob and spew the things his demented head can't even comprehend, just because he has the joy of Google. In as much as everybody is free to air his or her opinion. I'm more concern about where that opinion stem from, whether it is informed, or was forged from the irons of truth. Never forget, this age has given birth to uninformed and myopic opinion. So one needs to be careful about the kind of opinion one reads and accept. 1 Like |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 12:48am On Aug 08, 2016 |
SalomonKane: E no reach fight jare, break it off already. |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 1:05am On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03:Can do, will do. 2 Likes |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by postmann: 10:17am On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03: Until one comes to the reality of what marriage is, the significance and importance of bride price might not be truly appreciated. The bride's father and family are appeased because a daughter they have nurtured all her life would be leaving them. If you're conversant with the bible, you'd understand this principle. The process of being married out, deserves some fanfare. Now, GOD is the originator of marriage and HE left nothing to chance concerning it's rules and requirements. Bride prices are fixed. Man has corrupted the process no doubt by his greed but still, bride price is necessary and symbolic. 2 Likes |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by omakay(m): 10:55am On Aug 08, 2016 |
The bitter truth is that people are beginning to use this harmless traditional rite as a commercial means to an end. People now see the bride price rite as an opportunity to extract money and valuables from others all in the name of keeping tradition. If we are really to go back to the original bride price requirements, we would truly discover now that 'padding' did not just start in the federal sector. It has being actively practiced in the traditional marriage sector too. #PovertyIsAVirus 3 Likes |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by postmann: 11:00am On Aug 08, 2016 |
omakay: You're right. |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by bukatyne(f): 11:33am On Aug 08, 2016 |
postmann: @Bold: The Bible says a man will leave his father & mother and cleave to his wife.... Isn't the husband the one to leave his family? Shouldn't women be the ones paying their husbands? At least, we have such in India and Britain (till it was cancelled). @OP: I really agree with byvan03 though we don't collect money and the wife's family present some gifts to he hubby's family and hosts the ceremony. The term 'price' connotes a transaction. |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 11:41am On Aug 08, 2016 |
bukatyne: Thank you! |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by postmann: 12:17pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
bukatyne: Here you are at last!!! Your savoury altruism in the last miss NL contest lingers. (I can't believe I just sounded like lezz!) I'm still humbled and grateful. Back to topic; The scriptural citation above shouldn't be taken out of contest. It was given in the understanding that a woman leaves her father and mother by the act of marriage and goes into a new family unlike a man. So GOD was emphasising on the man detaching from his mother and father so he can become one with his wife. It's like the scripture that said, man love your wife and woman respect your husband. Taken out of context, many interpret it to mean it's not obligatory for women to love their husbands and not also obligatory for men to respect their wives. When in essence, scripture was putting more emphasis on whom who is more prone to default. Does a man cleave to his wife in her father's house? Or are his children given by her traced through his wife's descent? Of course not! So, there are no basis for a woman paying the bride price. Yes, the bride's family play Its role in the ceremony too. That's not strange. We understand the word "price" chiefly from a monetary point because, well, English is an adopted language to us. But like I told byvan03, in the bribe price context, see it (price) as a requirement. A good example was King Saul requiring a 100 foreskin of the Philistians from David as the bride price requirement for his daughter, Michal. |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by lezz(m): 1:24pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03:Are you Igbo? |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 1:37pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by lezz(m): 1:52pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03:You gave it away with the picture you painted traditional marriage rites. The bride price is Symbolic in significance and as well as the kneeling down of the bride to offer the groom a drink from her father. It doesn't imply the selling off of the bride. Marriage is a serious and secred business, passage into it should be Symbolic and colourful in deed as well as in tediousness. It is no coincidence that traditional societies the world over who still practice old traditional rites of marriages have the most lasting marriages ever still. Eg, the Jewish , African and Ethiopian communities. While a smattering amount of families can exploit the Symbolic act for an avenue of material aquirement, it doesn't change what the pride prize symbolises: A sign of gratitude and appreciation for a daughter whom you have come to marry away. Note that in traditional African societies, the refund of the bride price is a sign of divorce in totality too. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 2:10pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
lezz: I think the Fulani method of enduring several strokes of cane is more symbolic and significant. If you tell me that marriages instituted on this premise last longer, I will totally see why. No man will want to endure it more than once or twice. A mild version of "catching a grenade for ya" is symbolic enough, much more so than goats, yams, wrappers, kolanuts which eventually gets converted to money if the groom is coming from a far distance. Some demand gold, tricycles for the girl's generation including the grannies amongst them. What of the groom rendering a few years of service to his prospective father in law as bride price, won't that be more symbolic? |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by LadyOfgrace: 3:02pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03:I love the idea of my husband being flogged a hundred strokes though, makes a lot of sense |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by lezz(m): 3:19pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03:What then is your opinion how traditional marriage should be done? |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 5:36pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
lezz: It can be done anyway that doesn't involve that disturbing list. Just exchange a symbolic item, I have heard of a calabash as the bride price. It gets broken in front of the families to signify a divorce. The couple should decide how much fanfare they desire without having to abide by any list. 2 Likes |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by Fkforyou(m): 6:47pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Wow.....So much bile and hatred. You two fvcking retards should take a chill pill before one of you commits suicide....haba...!!! 1 Like |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 7:30pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
LadyOfgrace: mean bride. |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by lezz(m): 7:44pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03:Any how? In other words, just any" other option" that doesn't involve that "list" will do? You have nothing better to proffer then. byvan03:A calabash? If an item is to be accepted in symbolism for a would-be bride, it has to be a calabash? Lolz. What does it signify? And which community does that. I can well imagine two lust-addicts presenting a dozen calabashes for marriage and breaking it off to signify divorce. byvan03:You just exposed your shallow idea here. First off, marriage is a societial acceptable institution recognised by government, church and society at large. So couples can't fix how a marriage should be conducted. Come up with something better |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by LadyOfgrace: 8:30pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
byvan03: 1 Like |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 11:26pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
lezz: It's not really my job to convince you. Its ok to disregard my so called "shallow " opinion and move on. 2 Likes |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by cococandy(f): 12:03am On Aug 09, 2016 |
Word darkenedrebel: |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by cococandy(f): 12:13am On Aug 09, 2016 |
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant. And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across on this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment is being discussed. Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position. You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos. lezz: postmann: 5 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by lezz(m): 8:38am On Aug 09, 2016 |
cococandy:Another taradiddle from no one else but Coco herself. It's a waste of digital ink reasserting you have always been pro-divorce and the institution of marriage means little to you. Men are the founders and custodians of culture and tradition and it's our prerogative to change and alter it while you opt for triffle claptrap and blackmail. You have never seen life beyond your feminist-binoculars. So you advocate that marriage be actualised by fücking and kissing? Even in courtship men have always brought gifts as a symbolic gesture for the women they love. And most families, spearheaded by the fathers have always returned the bride price taking only a pinch of it as a mark of good will. Coco, Men have always frowned at usurious and expensive marital requirements, but advocating that bride price be abolished, when we all know majority of families demand only a token only bears credence that you're uncomfortable with yourself. Real women are comfortable with reasonable bride price, women like you who are covered with false airs and postiche are always without any sense of culture and tradition. If your community (hello Byvan03) demand for keke napep and sewing machines and all the wrappers assorted for the women in your village, mine don't . 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by postmann: 9:14am On Aug 09, 2016 |
cococandy: It goes beyond just tradition! It's very spiritual in all of its essence. Sometimes, I'm forced to tone down the spiritual signifance of a subject of discourse just to accommodate all views, but what is of GOD is of GOD. And marriage is of GOD. Humans only try to hijack HIS gifts thereby playing the thief. For every institution established on earth by GOD there is a deep significant purpose. Eg: Father-child relationship A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am a father, where is my honor? Mal 1:6 Except we realise our parents are worthy of our respect and honour not just because they provided for us, we'd miss the true essence of such a relationship which actually is a symbol of GOD being our heavenly FATHER. GOD setup an earthly system of what is prevalent in the spirit that we may have a taste of what life entails and learn to live by HIS divine wisdom and will. Husband-wife relationship It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the best man is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. John 3:29 CHRIST is called the bridegroom by GOD HIMSELF. Now for any who don't recognise what a bridegroom is, will never come to respect and give honour to her husband. Neither will she appreciate the bride price. Scripture tells us CHRIST bought us over with HIS blood and HE is likened and Infact called THE BRIDEGROOM and we HIS BRIDE. You see, marriage like most institutions GOD set up, has deep spiritual undertone. But the rebellious would never come to terms with it. They're too proud to be governed by the law of wisdom. They can actually think for themselves. Bride price preserve marriage to a good extent. It creates a great sense of responsibility and solemnity to marriage. For the many who have been corrupted, it should just be a matter of spoken words. Then it would have been an open door where all sorts of character go in and out as often as they please. But sorry, the marriage act is ritualistic and it's beyond the grasp of scholars who have lost their senses of origin. It takes a woman of pride (and pride is just one of the many faces of insecurity) to reject or abhor bride price. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 9:25am On Aug 09, 2016 |
cococandy: I can't wait for every damn thing to be scrapped, let's see what is there to hold onto. You totally got the drift. The koboko method should be the bride price, since they need something to win, money is too disposable . I doubt any man will subject himself to that without being blind,deaf and crippled in love. This method certainly will be more preserving for the institution. When you want behave like the devil's sanitary pad and remember how many strokes you endured to win her, you comport yourself. 1 Like |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by postmann: 9:37am On Aug 09, 2016 |
byvan03: Have you read about the "koboko" method in the clime where it is practiced? Or what it signifies? Well, for the fulanis, it's actually an act of warriorhood; that the man can actually protect his wife! It's synonymous with the manly rituals undergone by some male adolescents to register their manhood in some other cultures. And yes, the fulanis pay bride price of herds of cows and other expensive items too. And if you think the absence of bride price negates a husband's authority over you, then you're under deceit. Infact, your father can give you off for free to your husband. And he has the powers to do so. It wont makes you any less his wife and he has authority over you in the spiritual and physical realms. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 10:01am On Aug 09, 2016 |
postmann: You and physical /spiritual realm are like 5 n 6 . In that case, the biblical method of serving the girl's father for a few years will suffice, am sure there won't be any cow required afterwards. |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by Dheartless: 10:02am On Aug 09, 2016 |
crackhaus:This one is truly sweet to be noted 4 Likes |
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by LadyOfgrace: 10:33am On Aug 09, 2016 |
byvan03:nice one too |
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