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4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 10:52am On Aug 09, 2016
cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

So you're telling us your husband did not pay your bride price when he came asking for your hand in marriage?

I want to believe you stood firm and look your father in th eyes and tell him your husband won't pay a dime on your head, neither will he bring the traditional gifts ascribe when he declared his intent to marry you?

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Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by postmann: 11:02am On Aug 09, 2016
byvan03:



You and physical /spiritual realm are like 5 n 6 cheesy. In that case, the biblical method of serving the girl's father for a few years will suffice, am sure there won't be any cow required afterwards.

You're right about me being holding fastly to biblical truths. However, there is no biblical standard of servitude for a prospective husband towards the bride's father. The case of Jacob and Laban was not GOD's standard but Laban's, exercising his divine right over his daughter in deciding what he required as bride price for them.
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 11:35am On Aug 09, 2016
LadyOfgrace:
grin I love the idea of my husband being flogged a hundred strokes though, makes a lot of sense grin
Perhaps you will also like the idea of your husband ruling and lording over you, after being flogged 100 stroke of the cane.

I'm sure you know the wife of a Fulani man doesn't have the luxury of airing her opinion(s) Which means all your education will be as silent as the 'W' in wrestling.

4 Likes

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by Nobody: 12:01pm On Aug 09, 2016
byvan03:


It's not really my job to convince you. Its ok to disregard my so called "shallow " opinion and move on.

grin grin grin

good one!

2 Likes

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by LadyOfgrace: 12:01pm On Aug 09, 2016
SalomonKane:
Perhaps you will also like the idea of your husband ruling and lording over you, after being flogged 100 stroke of the cane.

I'm sure you know the wife of a Fulani man doesn't have the luxury of airing her opinion(s) Which means all your education will be as silent as the 'W' in wrestling.
grin
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by Nobody: 12:05pm On Aug 09, 2016
cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.


grin grin

And the funny thing is that any cultural practice MUST differ from any Western cultural practices, which makes Western cultural practices the yardstick after all.

What a paradox! grin

I want to see an American or a European say: "We have to do this and that so that we differ from Africans." grin

Mental slavery!


And the funniest thing of all is that Christianity was brought to these people by Westerners along with the gender roles and steeotypes which they are still clinging to. grin

2 Likes

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 12:14pm On Aug 09, 2016
byvan03:



I can't wait for every damn thing to be scrapped, let's see what is there to hold onto. You totally got the drift. The koboko method should be the bride price, since they need something to win money is too disposable . I doubt any man will subject himself to that without being blind,deaf and crippled in love. This method certainly will be more preserving for the institution. When you want behave like the devil's sanitary pad and remember how many strokes you endured to win her, you comport yourself.

Even when the Koboko method was still used by the Fulani's, i'm sure you know there were men who stood and took that 100 stroke of cane, and later claim their bride and tamed them making them the loyal house wife.

I tell you this, should Nigeria as a whole adopt this Koboko method, women like you will find yourself at the mercy of drop dead nincompoops, who will endure 100 stroke of the cane, so they have you and yours as wives for comfort. Then I'm sure you'll live happily ever after.

1 Like

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 12:29pm On Aug 09, 2016
Mindfulness:


grin grin

And the funny thing is that any cultural practice MUST differ from any Western cultural practices, which makes Western cultural practices the yardstick after all.

What a paradox! grin
Says who, ma'am? I'll have you know right from the time the Portugese visited the Bini empire, our cultural practices differ from that of the west. The concept of 'marriage' or what have you did not stem from the West. It was something that was widely accepted before Mungo Park discovered River Niger.

I want to see an American or a European say: "We have to do this and that so that we differ from Africans." grin

Mental slavery!
Oh they've longed been doing and saying this ma'am, that's why they tried eroding our culture and replacing it with theirs (christianity). The Europeans so much wanted to differ from us, that's why they decided to make us like them. I'm sure you've heard of the Policy of Assimilation in French west Africa colonies?.


And the funniest thing of all is that Christianity was brought to these people by Westerners along with the gender roles and steeotypes which they are still clinging to. grin
Gender role(s) wasn't brought by the West ma'am. The only thing the West Brought was mental slavery by virtue of their greatest tool, christianity. I'll have you know that before the coming of the Europeans, gender role(s) were clearly spelt and known by almost all African cultures. So the West have absolutely nothing to do with that.

In other words, A real African man doesn't need a dick to know he has to provide for his woman, neither does a real African women need a vagina to know she has to support her man. (sorry for being graphic). grin

1 Like

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by 5minsmadness: 12:41pm On Aug 09, 2016
byvan03:




Okay ooo, to each his own. A symbolic item like calabash, cowries e.t.c will serve as better price. I don't see anything symbolic about goat, yams, kolanuts and a few change. The term " price " is even worrying, very commercial . One will have to stick it out for this life time,i guess some things never change.

[size=18pt]No. 2[/size]

2 Likes

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by 5minsmadness: 12:47pm On Aug 09, 2016
postmann:


The ancestors are full of wisdom no doubt. Theirs was pure, naked wisdom. They walked closer with the gods and learned firsthand.All the best books on wisdom were written by them. Theirs was an imperfect world too. But if we allowed most of their values to prevail, we would be safer.




That comparison is most unfortunate. And it must have been birthed from a mind conditioned to think negatively by prevailing circumstances.

It is manly to fight and earn a woman. Not as a property but as an act of being able to take care of her.

And yes, a woman belongs to her father. In marriage contraction, bride price is a form of gratitude or appeasement to her father and her father's people.



There's honour when a man recognises the fact that his woman is priceless and that if she actually was to be sold, she definitely couldn't be bought. The bridal list of requirements and process may be flawed in some climes, but then again, men who know how valuable their women are will go for it bringing honour to their women, she's worth it and more.






Even after the bride price is paid, even after several years, the process can still be reversed with the bride price returned. It was never a matter of buying and selling as the antagonists would like everyone to believe.

It is simply a matter of symbolic traditional requirements for man and spirit.

954likes

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by 5minsmadness: 1:00pm On Aug 09, 2016
LadyOfgrace:
grin I love the idea of my husband being flogged a hundred strokes though, makes a lot of sense grin
Passive aggressive.

1 Like

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by Nobody: 1:06pm On Aug 09, 2016
SalomonKane:
Says who, ma'am? I'll have you know right from the time the Portugese visited the Bini empire, our cultural practices differ from that of the west. The concept of 'marriage' or what have you did not stem from the West. It was something that was widely accepted before Mungo Park discovered River Niger.

Did I say that Africans didn'T have their own culture before the British, Portuguese or French came? No!
But I find it funny when people defend cultural practices in order to differ from others because in this way they make other cultures their yardstick.

Oh they've longed been doing and saying this ma'am, that's why they tried eroding our culture and replacing it with theirs (christianity). The Europeans so much wanted to differ from us, that's why they decided to make us like them. I'm sure you've heard of the Policy of Assimilation in French west Africa colonies?.

That was a 100 years ago and more. European Empires considered Africans barbaric. This mentality has changed. And they did not only try to conquer Africans but other European nations as well.


Gender role(s) wasn't brought by the West ma'am. The only thing the West Brought was mental slavery by virtue of their greatest tool, christianity. I'll have you know that before the coming of the Europeans, gender role(s) were clearly spelt and known by almost all African cultures. So the West have absolutely nothing to do with that.

And yet millions of Africans embrace this religion today. If you want to differ from the West so much, why not return to African traditions all together?

In other words, A real African man doesn't need a dick to know he has to provide for his woman, neither does a real African women need a vagina to know she has to support her man. (sorry for being graphic). grin

Are you even aware that this is the how it's done in the West too MOST OF THE TIME?
As soon as children are born, it's women who stay at home with their babies in more than 90% of all families across Europe.
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by 5minsmadness: 1:08pm On Aug 09, 2016
cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.


As expected grin

2 Likes

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by 5minsmadness: 1:10pm On Aug 09, 2016
lezz:
Another taradiddle from no one else but Coco herself.

It's a waste of digital ink reasserting you have always been pro-divorce and the institution of marriage means little to you.

Men are the founders and custodians of culture and tradition and it's our prerogative to change and alter it while you opt for triffle claptrap and blackmail.

You have never seen life beyond your feminist-binoculars. So you advocate that marriage be actualised by fücking and kissing?

Even in courtship men have always brought gifts as a symbolic gesture for the women they love. And most families, spearheaded by the fathers have always returned the bride price taking only a pinch of it as a mark of good will.

Coco, Men have always frowned at usurious and expensive marital requirements, but advocating that bride price be abolished, when we all know majority of families demand only a token only bears credence that you're uncomfortable with yourself.

Real women are comfortable with reasonable bride price, women like you who are covered with false airs and postiche are always without any sense of culture and tradition.

If your community (hello Byvan03) demand for keke napep and sewing machines and all the wrappers assorted for the women in your village, mine don't .


What's taradiddle
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by 5minsmadness: 1:19pm On Aug 09, 2016
SalomonKane:
So you're telling us your husband did not pay your bride price when he came asking for your hand in marriage?

I want to believe you stood firm and look your father in th eyes and tell him your husband won't pay a dime on your head, neither will he bring the traditional gifts ascribe when he declared his intent to marry you?
Yes she did!
She's a progressive woman grin
What, u think she only started behaving like this after she was ferried to the west? angry Coco's been a feminist from time immemorial grin
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 1:27pm On Aug 09, 2016
Mindfulness:


Did I say that Africans didn'T have their own culture before the British, Portuguese or French came? No!
But I find it funny when people defend cultural practices in order to differ from others because in this way they make other cultures their yardstick.
Understood.

That was a 100 years ago and more. European Empires considered Africans barbaric. This mentality has changed. And they did not only try to conquer Africans but other European nations as well.
Yes. It's a pity that a people who enslaved their fellow man, will openly come out and call the same people they enslave 'barbarians'.

And yet millions of Africans embrace this religion today. If you want to differ from the West so much, why not return to African traditions all together?
That's the irony of it all. To think a people will embrace a religion that is alien and used as a mean of subtle subjugation beats my imagination.

Truly, I don't religion to differ from the West, my thoughts and actions show that I'm very different as I don't conform to religious nonsense. I'm an African, as well as a Bini man. So I live my life according to how my conscience allow it, in accordance to my country. Simple.


Are you even aware that this is the how it's done in the West too MOST OF THE TIME?
As soon as children are born, it's women who stay at home with their babies in more than 90% of all families across Europe.
The only thing I can tell you as regard this is "Civilization started from Africa"

1 Like

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 1:32pm On Aug 09, 2016
5minsmadness:

Yes she did!
She's a progressive woman grin
What, u think she only started behaving like this after she was ferried to the west? angry Coco's been a feminist from time immemorial grin
I've seen and watch this so called feminist become 1st class mumu when they see that handsome tall man who come with marriage in mind.

Many of them even go overboard and even pay their bride price for the men who intend to marry them.

Internet machismo isn't only common to men folk alone. grin
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by Nobody: 1:35pm On Aug 09, 2016
SalomonKane:
Understood.

Yes. It's a pity that a people who enslaved their fellow man, will openly come out and call the same people they enslave 'barbarians'.

That's the irony of it all. To think a people will embrace a religion that is alien and used as a mean of subtle subjugation beats my imagination.

Slavery is not a European invention. Slavery existed in Africa long before any Europeans arrived.
And today children in European schools of high quality teach their students to respect other cultures. There is even a fascination and glorification of purely indigenous people.

Truly, I don't religion to differ from the West, my thoughts and actions show that I'm very different as I don't conform to religious nonsense. I'm an African, as well as a Bini man. So I live my life according to how my conscience allow it, in accordance to my country. Simple.

I am human in the first place and so is everyone else. I feel at home in many places and I have come to realize that the similarities that people of different origin share are more than their differences. I wish we would focus more on what unites us. wink


The only thing I can tell you as regard this is "Civilization started from Africa"

True!
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 1:48pm On Aug 09, 2016
Mindfulness:


Slavery is not a European invention. Slavery existed in Africa long before any Europeans arrived.
And today children in European schools of high quality teach their students to respect other cultures. There is even a fascination and glorification of purely indigenous people.
Of course. We know how the Egyptians enslaved the Israelites in the Bible. But the West gave slavery a whole knew meaning and definition. Not to talk of how they turned it into a million dollar venture.

I am human in the first place and so is everyone else. I feel at home in many places and I have come to realize that the similarities that people of different origin share are more than their differences. I wish we would focus more on what unites us. wink
Aye!. This all bother on acceptance and tolerance. In as much as I understand that i'm different from another man, I still know I'm similar to him, but still our differences complement our similarities.

True!
smiley
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 2:04pm On Aug 09, 2016
SalomonKane:
Even when the Koboko method was still used by the Fulani's, i'm sure you know there were men who stood and took that 100 stroke of cane, and later claim their bride and tamed them making them the loyal house wife.

I tell you this, should Nigeria as a whole adopt this Koboko method, women like you will find yourself at the mercy of drop dead nincompoops, who will endure 100 stroke of the cane, so they have you and yours as wives for comfort. Then I'm sure you'll live happily ever after.



No need consoling yourself, women like me are never at anyone 's mercy. Certainly men like you will go for what they will tame, it's good to cut your coat according to your size wink.

2 Likes

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by Nobody: 2:16pm On Aug 09, 2016
SalomonKane:
Of course. We know how the Egyptians enslaved the Israelites in the Bible. But the West gave slavery a whole knew meaning and definition. Not to talk of how they turned it into a million dollar venture.

The Egyptian Empire was built with the blood of slaves so there is no justifying one evil with another.

Aye!. This all bother on acceptance and tolerance. In as much as I understand that i'm different from another man, I still know I'm similar to him, but still our differences complement our similarities.

It's not about acceptance and tolerance, it goes beyond that.

@bold
I like this thought.


smiley

smiley smiley
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by byvan03: 2:31pm On Aug 09, 2016
5minsmadness:


[size=18pt]No. 2[/size]




No 2 really? you have no idea. I will walk out on all traditions and the ancestors can roll over in their graves for all I care. You only consider your loved ones and sacrifice just a bit of yourself not to hurt them.

1 Like

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by crackhaus: 2:55pm On Aug 09, 2016
Dheartless:

This one is truly sweet to be noted
Yessur, it truly is.
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by lilmax(m): 3:05pm On Aug 09, 2016
SalomonKane:
So you're telling us your husband did not pay your bride price when he came asking for your hand in marriage?

I want to believe you stood firm and look your father in th eyes and tell him your husband won't pay a dime on your head, neither will he bring the traditional gifts ascribe when he declared his intent to marry you?
no,it's only possible with their own (daughters) gringringrin
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 3:16pm On Aug 09, 2016
byvan03:

No need consoling yourself, women like me are never at anyone 's mercy. Certainly men like you will go for what they will tame, it's good to cut your coat according to your size wink.
Oh really? Yet you crave to be won like a trophy by wishing a man undergo 100 stroke of the cane as penance for your 'bride price?'. Lol.

My dear, women like you love to be spoiled, tamed and pampered beyond recognition, that's how you make yourself easy targets for breeding self seeking men.
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by LadyOfgrace: 3:23pm On Aug 09, 2016
5minsmadness:

Passive aggressive.
yes
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 3:25pm On Aug 09, 2016
Mindfulness:


The Egyptian Empire was built with the blood of slaves so there is no justifying one evil with another.
No doubt. Evil is evil (to a lesser mind) but i'll have you know evil is not evil as there are different shades of evil.

I bet you'll liken a man who murder another man to a man who murder an entire family, talkless a whole tribe or community. Isn't that why our Justice system have different punitive measure for different crime? After all, they can say "crime is crime" and let a rapist serve 25 years to life, with a pick pocket.

It's not about acceptance and tolerance, it goes beyond that.
Really? Care to shed a lil light?

@bold
I like this thought.

smiley smiley
It's all good. smiley
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by LadyOfgrace: 3:30pm On Aug 09, 2016
5minsmadness:

954likes

why didn't you round it off to 1000 likes?
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by SalomonKane: 3:30pm On Aug 09, 2016
byvan03:



No 2 really? you have no idea. I will walk out on all traditions and the ancestors can roll over in their graves for all I care. You only consider your loved ones and sacrifice just a bit of yourself not to hurt them.
That says it all then. E.O.D!.
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by lezz(m): 4:01pm On Aug 09, 2016
5minsmadness:


What's taradiddle
trivial lies. grin grin grin She seldom makes a comment without that.

3 Likes

Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by Nobody: 4:12pm On Aug 09, 2016
SalomonKane:
No doubt. Evil is evil (to a lesser mind) but i'll have you know evil is not evil as there are different shades of evil.

I bet you'll liken a man who murder another man to a man who murder an entire family, talkless a whole tribe or community. Isn't that why our Justice system have different punitive measure for different crime? After all, they can say "crime is crime" and let a rapist serve 25 years to life, with a pick pocket.

Your analogy is inappropriate. Africans like Americans and Europeans used slaves en masse. I don't see how the one is worse than the other.


Really? Care to shed a lil light?

I can accept you even though you come from a different cultural background is different from seeing someone's soul.

It's all good. smiley

All is well indeed and getting better. smiley wink
Re: 4 Categories Of Women & Their Views On Bride Price by lezz(m): 4:22pm On Aug 09, 2016
Mindfulness:


grin grin

And the funny thing is that any cultural practice MUST differ from any Western cultural practices, which makes Western cultural practices the yardstick after all.

What a paradox! grin

I want to see an American or a European say: "We have to do this and that so that we differ from Africans." grin

Mental slavery!


And the funniest thing of all is that Christianity was brought to these people by Westerners along with the gender roles and steeotypes which they are still clinging to. grin

At the emboldened, did you say Christianity/Westerners brought gender roles to Africa?

Princess of impulsive lies and dangerous premise!

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