Pls Advice A Her! - Family

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Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 9:52am On Sep 19, 2016

Ok so, my sister met this guy who lost his wife two years Ago. She died giving birth to their fifth child. So he has five children already. After three months of meeting each other, she says he is hinting marriage already. But am kinda scared for her. She is so young and without any experience. I decided to start this thread here cos I was sure to get matured insights. I really would like to know all the odds in this kinda arrangements. I mean marrying a widower with five children. I want to be able to sound convincing enough to her when talking to her about it. Don't want to bore you lots with a long write up. You can ask further questions to better appreciate the issue.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by SirVintageCock: 10:00am On Sep 19, 2016

The guy is looking for a young maid that will care for his kids and then fvck him as an when due.

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Nobody: 10:06am On Sep 19, 2016

I can understand one or two bt nt five. he jst wants a helper

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Flexherbal(m): 10:09am On Sep 19, 2016

Hmmmmmmm!
Cases like this are always very difficult to handle.
We do not even know if the man truly loves her.
And again, if your sister does not care about him being a widower, let hem be. After all, She is the one that will spend the rest of her life with him.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Nobody: 10:18am On Sep 19, 2016

Being a man who already has 5 children, he may not want to have any kids, or more than one with her.
I know someone who is going through this right now.

Ah ah! Lest I forget, he can promise heaven and earth that he would still want to have kids with her, but entering the marriage, she may see that it's a different ball game entirely.

There are other things involved in this kind of arrangement, but the above is something I think should be at the fore of your/her mind as she considers him.

Wish you/her the best.

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by ammyluv2002(f): 10:19am On Sep 19, 2016

loveslife:
Ok so, my sister met this guy who lost his wife two years Ago. She died giving birth to their fifth child. So he has five children already. After three months of meeting each other, she says he is hinting marriage already. But am kinda scared for her. She is so young and without any experience. I decided to start this thread here cos I was sure to get matured insights. I really would like to know all the odds in this kinda arrangements. I mean marrying a widower with five children. I want to be able to sound convincing enough to her when talking to her about it. Don't want to bore you lots with a long write up. You can ask further questions to better appreciate the issue.

If I were her, i won't even think twice. I mean, she's so young with no experience so taking care of those kids will be very challenging. Will the kids even accept her? How old are they? You know it's very difficult to please them when you're not their mum. Besides, 3 months is not enough to get married to anyone, they just met now.

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 10:39am On Sep 19, 2016

Thanks Amyluv, for your quick response. And honestly this is one of the fears I explained to her. But she said she hung out with the kids twice and that they were sweet and on the shy side. Always smiling. Apart from the newly born. The rest are a bit Grown.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by ammyluv2002(f): 10:52am On Sep 19, 2016

loveslife:
Thanks Amyluv, for your quick response. And honestly this is one of there fears I explained to her. But she said she hung out with the kids and they were sweet and on the shy side. Always smiling. Apart from the newly born. The rest are a bit growns]

Well, my people say "dey no dey tell a deaf man say war don come" You've done your part as a sister the rest is up to her.

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 10:56am On Sep 19, 2016

Wow! Sir vintage. Even in marriage. Do u mean to say if there were helpers in the house, it would be okay?

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 10:56am On Sep 19, 2016

Wow! Sir vintage. Even in marriage?

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 11:12am On Sep 19, 2016

I would like to understand what difference it makes 2 or five kids. Also if it matters that they all boys.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 11:22am On Sep 19, 2016

Thanks everyone that Has replied. Pls keep the replies coming. Wanna know what the problems might be going forward. She has also requested that the topic be put on front page to get more response. Mods pls do the needful. Don't want my sis making a mistake she might regret for a long time. Thanks! More replies.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by babythug(f): 12:16pm On Sep 19, 2016

You don't need more comments that what you have up there already!

The man is just pressured to find someone to care for the children!

Don't know how wealthy or not the fellow is but he's not likely to want more than one more child given the no he has already!

You didn't mention her exact age too but if she's as young as you put it then she shouldn't be rushing into marriage especially with someone who has all these children

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Nobody: 2:53pm On Sep 19, 2016

Marriage after 3 months of "knowing" her? #RedFlag

5 kids?! Seems to me, he needs a NANNY.

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Dyt(f): 2:58pm On Sep 19, 2016

loveslife:
Thanks everyone that Has replied. Pls keep the replies coming. Wanna know what the problems might be going forward. She has also requested that the topic be put on front page to get more response. Mods pls do the needful. Don't want my sis making a mistake she might regret for a long time. Thanks! More replies.

Why you lying it's your sister now ehn

The old man has money abi?
Talk true

4 Likes

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by southernbelle(f): 3:15pm On Sep 19, 2016

I think five kids is too much for a young woman who is yet to start having her own children. It would have been better for the man to seek a woman who has had one or two children and who has experience handling kids.
But if your sister really feels she can handle everything that comes along with the union, then I wish her all the best.

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by soonest(f): 3:50pm On Sep 19, 2016

5kids? Mba oooo! The stress will be too much for her especially as a young lady. BTW, whats attracting your sister to him? The man should look for an older lady or a widow.
Pls advise her well o

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Nobody: 4:10pm On Sep 19, 2016

Your sister is has been in a relationship with him for three months and "claims" to be noticing marriage passes. Have you considered the fact that it might be your sister who wants to marry. I mean young girls have this crazy belief that dating a old guy qualities them to be matured and we all know majority of ladies think about marriage when dating. If this is the case with you sister, convincing her not to marry will get her married soon.

On the other hand there are cultures or let me say man that feel complete only when there is a wife by their side, maybe this man is one of them. Even if she marries him life wont be as bliss as it might be now. 3months, 5kids and old man should tell her that the arrangement is sick. This is equivalent to being denied happiness and your sister, by agreeing to it will be deliberately doing it to herself.

If you have to lie to protect her, go ahead. Create a stupid scenario, summarizing all these comments grin

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Nobody: 5:30pm On Sep 19, 2016

loveslife:
Ok so, my sister met this guy who lost his wife two years Ago. She died giving birth to their fifth child. So he has five children already. After three months of meeting each other, she says he is hinting marriage already. But am kinda scared for her. She is so young and without any experience. I decided to start this thread here cos I was sure to get matured insights. I really would like to know all the odds in this kinda arrangements. I mean marrying a widower with five children. I want to be able to sound convincing enough to her when talking to her about it. Don't want to bore you lots with a long write up. You can ask further questions to better appreciate the issue.

To be completely honest she won't be a good enough mum for one kid talk less of five.

I am a step daughter, I use to hate my stepmum and now am grown, i understand it's very very difficult to be a step mum. so am indifferent about her now.

The only person that prepares you for motherhood is your own child.

kids are a huge responsibility that needs a woman who isn't just responsible and considerate, but someone who is emotionally and psychologically attached to the child.

It's either the man is looking for a woman to trap into motherhood or your sister is selfish and greedy. regardless, she will hate it of she marries him.

11 Likes

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by njiasi30(f): 5:33pm On Sep 19, 2016

Hmmm, dat ur friend abi sister is she dat desperate btw how old is she? undecided

I guess d man must b swimming in money 4 her to lose her sense of reasoning cheesy

Marriage is nt all abt love, when d hit comes can she b able to withstand it. D man is just looking 4 a young fresh blood... cheesy

what stops him 4rm looking 4 an advance lady dat ve reached menopause or does she intend nt having her own kids? Dat ur sister does nt know d gravity of what she's abt to face, she shld better quit now to avoid stories dat touches d heart. some gals self lipsrsealed

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 5:59pm On Sep 19, 2016

[quote author=Dyt post=49495835]

A wack attempt at being sarcastic.u are highly ignored but make sure to not quote me again if you have nothing reasonable contribute.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 6:01pm On Sep 19, 2016

jagugu88li:
Your sister is has been in a relationship with him for three months and "claims" to be noticing marriage passes. Have you considered the fact that it might be your sister who wants to marry. I mean young girls have this crazy belief that dating a old guy qualities them to be matured and we all know majority of ladies think about marriage when dating. If this is the case with you sister, convincing her not to marry will get her married soon.

On the other hand there are cultures or let me say man that feel complete only when there is a wife by their side, maybe this man is one of them. Even if she marries him life wont be as bliss as it might be now. 3months, 5kids and old man should tell her that the arrangement is sick. This is equivalent to being denied happiness and your sister, by agreeing to it will be deliberately doing it to herself.

If you have to lie to protect her, go ahead. Create a stupid scenario, summarizing all these comments

Thanks jagugu88li for this. I knew I could count on u.

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Nobody: 6:02pm On Sep 19, 2016

Put her on birth control and let her move in with him for four weeks. wink

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by sisisioge: 6:48pm On Sep 19, 2016

Haaaaa! Na wahala go finish am! Pls tell her not to try it! Guy self sounds inconsiderate...five children! He actually endangered the previous wife's life by knocking her up PLENTY times! Now she's dead he wants to continue. New wifey too would want her own kids o...guy no too well! Whew!

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 6:52pm On Sep 19, 2016

Mindfulness:
Put her on birth control and let her move in with him for four weeks.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by EfemenaXY: 6:53pm On Sep 19, 2016

@op: How old is this sister of yours?

And why aren't your parents involved in this?

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 6:54pm On Sep 19, 2016

Why such a drastic measure and what purpose will that serve @ mindfulness.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by Nobody: 6:56pm On Sep 19, 2016

loveslife:
Why such a drastic measure and what purpose will that serve @ mindfulness.

I doubt she knows what it takes to raise five children that are not even yours.

Answer Efemenaxy's questions first. I am sure she will speak words of wisdom afterwards. wink

My advice is not for the faint-hearted.

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by EfemenaXY: 6:59pm On Sep 19, 2016

loveslife:
Why such a drastic measure and what purpose will that serve @ mindfulness.

What's drastic about it?

Shebi you wanted hardcore advice?

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Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 7:08pm On Sep 19, 2016

She's only 29. We haven't brought in our father yet because he has not stated clearly what his intentions are only giving hints. This sister of mine has always been attracted to mature men. She even confided in me that she even as a young gal of 29 she can't marry a guy of 35. This i think is very weird. But then am being very careful not tell her that in order not to seem judgemental. I decided to sample people's opinion bf discussing this thoroughly with her. I need to sound convincing and logical enough.thanks.

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by loveslife(f): 7:10pm On Sep 19, 2016

[quote author=EfemenaXY post=49502373]

Supposing I agree with u, tell m, what purpose will that serve?

Re: Pls Advice A Her! by EfemenaXY: 7:12pm On Sep 19, 2016

[quote author=loveslife post=49502643][/quote]

To whom?

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