122) Oh Lord Send your sun, I am tired of this shade.
123) Chai see his forehead like where dem dey mount flat screen.
124) Tribal Mark is barbaric but face tattoo is cool. Kwantinue. Agbada is African Indigenous clothe but suit is not European Indigenous clothe. Kwantinue. Dowry means the woman is a property but a ring is romantic. Kwantinue.

125) Everyone I know is becoming a pastor, a friend told me yesterday he is becoming a pastor, he said he received a message, I said open your phone make I see the whatsapp message.
126) No matter where you live when you are alive, be it mansion, face me and face you, when we all die we will all be buried in a self-contained.
127) Beauty is in the eye of the B.Sc holder.

128) Naira is so bad, I gave this beggar 500 naira, he was wose wose, egbo kon and take your money, wetin you wan make I use this one do.
129) Naira is so bad, when people go do blood money they ask the Baba - which currency will I get?, you mean I will use my mama and the spirit will bring me naira, Baba no try am ooo, me and the spirit go fight gidigbo.
130) God wanted to send Fela back to Nigeria, so he gave him an option hell or Nigeria, he said hell please, you want me to go and suffer abi.

131) I said daddy please buy me Micheal Kor, he said Micheal Kor Femi ni.
132) Warning: If you resemble animal, no near Nigeria ooo, you are liable to become peppersoup ingredient.
133) Buhari is telling us to embrace Patient, if we wanted patient we would have voted for Goodluck, let patient stay with Goodluck ooo, we want results and can we start with your waec result sir?

134) I am no longer a hawk, I don’t chase chicks anymore, Thank God for my life, I remember when I use to chase chicks like a bad debt.
135) You can meet a woman, propose to her immediately and live happily ever after and you can meet a woman court her for ten years, marry her and cant wait for the reception to be over so you can divorce her, nobody knows, only God knows, we are all just playing nairabet in this game called love.
136) A car cannot run on empty tank, a man cannot work on empty stomach, a woman cannot love on empty promise.

137) Dont hate, just bring plate.
138) A consultant is someone who gets paid to bullxxxx.
139) Fifty is the number one celeb student want to see during exams.

I wanted 2 ignore dz thread b4, bt it's so funi dt i was 4ced 2 bookmark it nd folow u
Nice 1 kip it up bro

Deejay777:
I wanted 2 ignore dz thread b4, bt it's so funi dt i was 4ced 2 bookmark it nd folow u
Nice 1 kip it up bro

Thanks for the love like tuface says one love

140) Shebi na you talk sey you want trap queen, now Tinuke has trapped you, you are now crying- see ya life.
141) Everybody job is praying for something bad to happen, tyre no break foga no go chop, if you no sick doctor no go chop, if you no do crime, lawyer cannot feed their family, everybody's prayer is for everyone to have problems. Only insurance people na them dey pray for everything to go smoothly, for where, our prayer pass theirs.
142) I am sure fishes are warned by each other that we catch them with hook and worms, do you think the fishes that we catch are atheist?

143) Before you were complaining that we had a sitting president, now we have a flying president.
144) The most powerful passport in the world is the German passport, it allows 176 countries visa free visits, Nigeria allows only 60 countries and 30 out of those 60 when they apply for our Naija visa they fast.
145) did he not think of change begin me when they were paying for votes in APC election in Ondo, how much was wasted in Edo, why doesn't change start with police officers,customs and all government parastatals, sir I am not trying to be rude but Are you high on Cocacola ni? You can't scam scammers ooo

146) So our senators get car allowance, news paper allowance, house allowance, wardrobe allowance apart from their salary, is their salary just meant for savings ni?
147) A politician is like a guy he will say whatever you need to hear to get what he wants
148) Some people say oyinbo dont use people for sacrifice, what is medical trial, abeg no go for medical trial, if they finish with you, you wont be of us on this earth neither will you join them in heaven.

149) So I asked Google to Translate Yoruba tribe to French- it came back with La Turn up La Tribe.
150) Someone asked me how do you remove a bean coat, the same way you put it on.
151) People buying the ipohne 7 are paying itax for istupidity.

152) Only those that marry a SU have truly been in a SUV.
153) No be those wey finish first for class dey carry first class.
154) No matter how stubborn a goat reach, we go still use hin head for isi ewu.

155) Nigerians can never admit to chopping life, you fit meet person inside en Private Jet, how far? My brother we just dey manage ooo, see him in his yatch how far? Na this small boat I dey use maintain for this Buhari era, see am for Heaven, how far? My brother na God face we dey all look ooo.
156) come to think of it, I have never met gmail gmail boys
157) There is a thin line between between foolishness and courage, superfan and stalker, fashionista and a mad person.

PrinceAbinibi:
20) White people improve technologically, we improve dancially, I swear before the i-phone 7 is out, black people will have a new dance!

21) Everybody is weird if you really get to know them and the most common weirdness is what we call normal.

22) I think I am better than everyone, I think I have inferiority simple.

they proved u wrong,iphone7 is out. no new dance

lative:

they proved u wrong,iphone7 is out. no new dance

Lol what is dabbing then

158) Whenever you hear a story, only believe 10% of the story because 90% is just special effect.
159) I heard if you take steroids, your stuff gets smaller, I need to start taking some, I am tired of scaring these girls.
160) How do you make a balloon rise? put some yeast in it.

PrinceAbinibi:

Lol what is dabbing then

dabbing was alreadynout b4 ur first post na

PrinceAbinibi:

Lol what is dabbing then

dabbing was already out b4 ur first post na

161) Next time lets just send our Para-Olympics what is the point, is it not the same disorganised Nigeria, why are our Para-Olympians doing better, In the same light I think Buhari will outperform Jonathan.
162) They say women don't like sport, then what is nagging?
163) Anyone who tells you money can't buy happiness don't know where to shop.

no more updates
our boss is on strike

I am back from my Hiatus, It is yam season and you know it is written Man shall not live by bread alone.
164) Some people asked me is Buhari working? I can't answer that definitely, but I know the DG of Nafdac is not working. Whenever I see Cossy's boobs, I am wondering what is the DG of Nafdac doing? Shouldn't there be a label on her boobs? saying Best Before 2004. How many Nigerian men have to die before they do something?
165) You hear all this celebrities using style to tell us about their junk, D'banj- no long thing, Tuface- no be small thing, Y Cee- Tinny Entertainment.
166) I hanged out with Flavour in Lagos, he is the nicest celebrity I have ever met but like every two minute, he would scream Oyalima. Then I realised Flavour has tourette syndrome.

167) I went for an interview yesterday and this interviewer had the mind to ask me why do I want this job? In this Buhari era, that is a stupid question, he could have asked more pertinent questions such as How are you surviving? When do you want to start? How many kidneys do you have left?
168) I heard Donald Trump is now in Bill Cosby's hall of Fame.
169) My parents are asking me to bring a woman home, I don't want to because most of these marriages nowadays end in divorce. I don't want a divorce and you know getting married increases your chances of getting a divorce.

170) Everything na packaging abroad, so a baby sitter is an au pair, uncle you are not a chauffeur you are a common driver.
171) Everything na packaging abroad, we gats package ourself too, in the same light, all oloshos will now be known as Casual Other Room Attendant.
172) In every other country you start a business to get rich, but America is a strange place, a place where you pray to find someone rich to sue to get rich.

173) So Donald Trump is selling fear to Americans and most of them think it's fair trade.
174) Most poor people fight outside the bar, most rich people fight at the bar.
175) I don't have common sense because I am not common.

176) Why you should have a side chick if you are married, there is nothing sadder than seeing a 60 year old man learning how to boil an egg, do I put the water first, or the egg, ok I put both in.
177) Ladies you should let your boyfriend cheat on you, especially if he is unemployed. If he can juggle you and 2 other women well, he has good time management skills, if he is able to come up with a lie every time you ask him where he was? He has the ability to think on his feet. If he can convince you to come into bed with another woman, then you will find out if he is a team player.
178) Just be you and live your life the way you want to because no matter what you do, haters are going hate the same way painters are gonna paint.

179) The definition of democracy- the government of the people by the people and for the people, the problem is most people are not part of these people.
180) There can't be equality in a relationship, either the woman is more powerful than the man or the man is more powerful than the woman. There is no 50 50 relationship in the world. If you meet a guy and he tells you he is in a 50 50 relationship with his wife, I will put a million Naira down that his wife runs that relationship.
181) So for this Halloween, me and my family sat in the parlour and listened to Owu ye Owu ye oooo, Owu ye wu ye wu ye ken, I was so scared- the best Halloween party ever.

182) Owning a motorbike is saying to God- I don't like how you created me.
183) We can never have guide dogs in Nigeria, Ondo and Calabar people will know that the owner of the dog is blind and you think the owners will not get lost.
184) There is smart tv, smart car, I went to First Bank yesterday and my account officer offered me a smart loan, I asked him if I don't pay will the loan pay you back?

185) Don jazzy is my favourite artist, omo cele to di celebrity.
186) Don't touch my KFC money that is my shicken change.
186) No matter how many novels Aunti Chi chi writes, when she reads Chinua, she go still realise sey she be learner.

cool

187) So the far right won the American election, the problem with the far right is that they are usually far wrong.
188) Has anyone thought what if Obasanjo was cute as a baby?
189) The Naira is so bad, Togo guys are beginning to take our women.

190) Donald Trump called Americans Maga and they still voted for him.
191) My childhood is not as bad as I used to think, everything is about perspective. When there was no money for kerosene and we ate almost raw fish, never knew we were eating Sushi, when there was no meat and we ate rice with egg, never knew we were vegetarian and when there was even no egg, never knew we were vegan.
192) In America there are two kinds of people, the conservatives and the liberals and they differ in all areas of their life, and they fight on every issue, is it not smarter to have two countries and the conservative can do whatever they want and the other group can do whatever they want, or is there something about fighting they both like.