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My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by FrancaCC: 11:42am On Apr 09, 2017
The second chance u ppl will give him, be ready to cater for the kids cos the lady's gon be dead

3 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by MuskElon: 11:43am On Apr 09, 2017
People get mind o. She went through all those things and she's still at cross-roads. Is it until he murders her?

2 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Nobody: 11:43am On Apr 09, 2017
This is one of the problems of marrying a black man, they lack common sense and have way too much ego. If he is serious about his son not being his, he should do paternity test na but yet he refuses, I swear he needs serious slap. I suspect the husband is cheating and is looking for a way to end his marriage and bring the girlfriend in. Nigerian men are usually like that, she should leave that man, he is no good. Women should stop wasting time with use.less men.

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Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by eyinjuege: 11:44am On Apr 09, 2017
The pleading is just so he finishes the job he started- terminate her life
Anyway, before any reconciliation should take place, the paternity of both children must be determined by DNA.
This is just to put all stories to rest once and for all.

Secondly, even if your sister goes back, let her go back with a proper job in hand. Even if they're going to reconcile, let it be on her terms. If her heart softens towards him, let him be visiting his family where they are presently till she has a job, and can fend for herself.

I guess he's facing financial challenges, and the thing has gone to his brain. The wife that goes about begging for food is no more there, so no food for him at home.

She should just think it through. The choice is hers to make.

7 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by mayoor15(m): 11:46am On Apr 09, 2017
When you let her go back to him, remember to pay for a casket. That man you just described deserves not even a -0.0000001% chance. Let your aunt move on and take care of her precious children, you never can tell, a better man may come around.

4 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by refreshrate: 11:46am On Apr 09, 2017
yomi007k:
lipsrsealed

If u dont support divorce, u will sha support murder.



But ds op na one kind creature sha .. grin

Walai talai at bolded
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by odamaken(m): 11:48am On Apr 09, 2017
let your aunt decides if she wants to go back or not she has the final say but my advice is that if I was your aunt i will seek the face of God pray over it and any thing God instricts me to do i will do after all marriage is for better for worst till death do us part
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Nobody: 11:49am On Apr 09, 2017
He will still go back to beating her.


He is possessed.



You guys should raise money and run a DNA test on the supposed child to avoid all these accusation.

1 Like

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Jabioro: 11:49am On Apr 09, 2017
If he seems to be remorseful, for the record purposed, let the case be filed, so that he can receive stern warning from the court. Before she move back she must also be financially independent, I mean she should been doing something for living. The court ruling would also be on probation.. but it is not going to work in that way let her leave peacefully. She too young to have RIP after her name.

1 Like

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by mayoor15(m): 11:50am On Apr 09, 2017
Philpham:
This is one of the problems of marrying a black man, they lack common sense and have way too much ego. If he is serious about his son not being his, he should do paternity test na but yet he refuses, I swear he needs serious slap. I suspect the husband is cheating and is looking for a way to end his marriage and bring the girlfriend in. Nigerian men are usually like that, she should leave that man, he is no good. Women should stop wasting time with use.less men.
know you have a father, hope he isn't a nigerian, if he is then from inference, its suffice to say your dad is also useless just like other nigerian men. God gave you brains, try and use it before commenting

1 Like

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by vincent10(m): 11:51am On Apr 09, 2017
Sincerely speaking the is not mentally sleight.
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Nobody: 11:51am On Apr 09, 2017
Philpham:
This is one of the problems of marrying a black man, they lack common sense and have way too much ego. If he is serious about his son not being his, he should do paternity test na but yet he refuses, I swear he needs serious slap. I suspect the husband is cheating and is looking for a way to end his marriage and bring the girlfriend in. Nigerian men are usually like that, she should leave that man, he is no good. Women should stop wasting time with use.less men.

Have you heard the other side of the story. The man cannot suddenly be calling for DNA if the wife have been 100% trustworthy. There is a gap in the story. The fact that the wife is not working also make her suspicious to immorality as devil find work for an idle hand. The Op will not report this. Also may be the husband want her to be working but the wife has not been able to find work to do and so it is easier to say the husband don't want her to be working.
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Nobody: 11:52am On Apr 09, 2017
Well, here is a simple solution. I must warn you that there should not be emotional entanglements to my advise.

His Kids are too young to stay with him.

So, your aunt should file for a divorce and never go back there. The child that he says belong to the neighbor should not be allowed be given to him. The only child that he has agreed as his own, is also too young. When that child grows, the child can be allowed to go and be with him. At the moment, note this. That man is just not mentally fit to have a family.

Africans must study enough to understand that not everyone is capable of raising children, it is damaged minds that this man that breeds armed robbers, criminals and other bad entities into this world.

10 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by tulus(f): 11:54am On Apr 09, 2017
Tell ur aunty to thank her God that she came out alive,pleading and asking and pleading to see his wife and kids will not stop d husband from changing his ways.d same demons that posses him earlier will do the same and this time ur aunty might not be lucky to tell the story.Due process advocates is a group on Facebook,d owner of d group(a barrister)deal mostly on domestic violence and will put ur Aunty thru on wat to do.try and connect with him#No to domestic violence.

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Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Nobody: 11:56am On Apr 09, 2017
The first mistake she made was when her husband told her not to work and she didn't. It's clear he is extremely insecure

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Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Beey(f): 11:56am On Apr 09, 2017
rosalieene:
Your Opinion Is Needed Please Help


My aunt(mum's last sibling) has been having issues with her husband since she got married. She has two kids, a girl(2 yrs old) and a boy(1 yr old). The girl looks like her husband, the boy looks like her husband's brother.

Apart from the other issues they have been having, there is a particular issue that tore them apart. When the boy was born, the husband has been accusing her of sleeping with a man who stays in the same house with them (a room was leased to him), he said the man is the real father of the son.

My aunt asked for a DNA test to be ran but then he shouted and was saying will she provide the money for the test. Least I forget, my aunt isn't doing anything since she got married to him. He didn't want her to work but to depend on him. Most times he doesn't give her money for feeding and upkeep..she usually run to my uncles(her brothers) they give her money. It was also because of him my granny died( she developed high bp when she came for omugwo because of the way she was treated, everyday she comes to my house and my mum gives her food).

Due to the accusations and other issues, last month instead of a DNA test, the hubby ran a genotype and blood group test and his matched with the little baby's own. later on, the man kept on insisting that the little boy is not his son as he calls him "Dada" instead of "daddy".

This time around he started accusing my aunt of sleeping with his brother and an Uncle of his. He even beats the children at any slight provocation.

On wednesday around midnight, 2:30am to be precise according to her, he came to her room and started dragging her, beating her up, strangling her, threatening to kill her even said he doesn't mind going to jail if he kills her. He was beating her and asking who was the father of the boy. He seized her phone too. Her eyes were swollen plus other injuries on her body.The next day when my uncles got to know what happened, they sent my sis to go help her pack up her stuffs and since then my aunt and her kids had been in my house. My uncles were looking for good divorce lawyers as my aunt has made up her mind not to go back to the hubby because she might die in his hands.

Last night the husband came to my house pleading, kneeling down, begging and crying. he refused to go home even till 10pm. he said he wanted his wife and kids back. he kept pleading for a second chance and kept saying he doesn't want to marry another wife... but my dad insisted he leaves the house. he was even denied access to his kids.I felt pity for the man.

Now, do you think he deserves a second chance? do you think he was really remorseful? or do you think she should go on with the divorce case? she is really at cross roads now and confused. Me for one, I don't support divorce but I don't expect someone to keep tolerating domestic violence and loose her life. Do you think she would remarry after the divorce? she had operation during the birth of her kids so she is not really in good shape so do you think any man will look at her? I am also confused on her behalf.
Please, let your Aunt leave that man A.S.A.P. That man has issues that he needs to deal with on his own.He has the signs of a control freak.He made sure that she is jobless, so that he could control her like a puppet.The poor woman has no say in her own house. He also has no trust in her as he accuses her of being adulterous and claims that his kids were sired by other men.He has no trust which is the bedrock of any relationship.You mentioned that the Man beats his wife and kids at the slightest provocation.He obviously seems to have no love for those kids as he holds the view that he is not their biological father.With that said, so many women have forgiven their way to their early grave.Your Aunt needs to leave that violent man and not look back.She cannot fix him.He needs thorough counseling & anger management.Otherwise, let her run when she still has breath!

4 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by ADAMUdaCOWBOY: 11:57am On Apr 09, 2017
rosalieene:
Your Opinion Is Needed Please Help


My aunt(mum's last sibling) has been having issues with her husband since she got married. She has two kids, a girl(2 yrs old) and a boy(1 yr old). The girl looks like her husband, the boy looks like her husband's brother.

Apart from the other issues they have been having, there is a particular issue that tore them apart. When the boy was born, the husband has been accusing her of sleeping with a man who stays in the same house with them (a room was leased to him), he said the man is the real father of the son.

My aunt asked for a DNA test to be ran but then he shouted and was saying will she provide the money for the test. Least I forget, my aunt isn't doing anything since she got married to him. He didn't want her to work but to depend on him. Most times he doesn't give her money for feeding and upkeep..she usually run to my uncles(her brothers) they give her money. It was also because of him my granny died( she developed high bp when she came for omugwo because of the way she was treated, everyday she comes to my house and my mum gives her food).

Due to the accusations and other issues, last month instead of a DNA test, the hubby ran a genotype and blood group test and his matched with the little baby's own. later on, the man kept on insisting that the little boy is not his son as he calls him "Dada" instead of "daddy".

This time around he started accusing my aunt of sleeping with his brother and an Uncle of his. He even beats the children at any slight provocation.

On wednesday around midnight, 2:30am to be precise according to her, he came to her room and started dragging her, beating her up, strangling her, threatening to kill her even said he doesn't mind going to jail if he kills her. He was beating her and asking who was the father of the boy. He seized her phone too. Her eyes were swollen plus other injuries on her body.The next day when my uncles got to know what happened, they sent my sis to go help her pack up her stuffs and since then my aunt and her kids had been in my house. My uncles were looking for good divorce lawyers as my aunt has made up her mind not to go back to the hubby because she might die in his hands.

Last night the husband came to my house pleading, kneeling down, begging and crying. he refused to go home even till 10pm. he said he wanted his wife and kids back. he kept pleading for a second chance and kept saying he doesn't want to marry another wife... but my dad insisted he leaves the house. he was even denied access to his kids.I felt pity for the man.

Now, do you think he deserves a second chance? do you think he was really remorseful? or do you think she should go on with the divorce case? she is really at cross roads now and confused. Me for one, I don't support divorce but I don't expect someone to keep tolerating domestic violence and loose her life. Do you think she would remarry after the divorce? she had operation during the birth of her kids so she is not really in good shape so do you think any man will look at her? I am also confused on her behalf.
shey you pity the man? if he kills your aunty later on you better not come here struggling to grab another precious front page space because I fit invoke thunder for pesin wey vex me! I encourage couples to endure much in marriage but to beat a woman and accuse her of infidelity and not just that but of conceiving for other men is extreme. You guys are nice o! I dont know why you allowed him to stay so long in your house without breaking his head.

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Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Buharimustgo: 11:57am On Apr 09, 2017
Joavid:


You're not serious.



It's her decision to make. It's not yours or ours. and you all should stop confusing her with your opinions.
she's the one suffering in the marriage.



If all you wrote above is true, then he doesn't. Giving him a second chance is giving him a pass to kill your Anuty.


I hope she Never listens to you advice cos you're a very confused human being.


Did she hire you to plan her life or are you God?

She's yet to decide on a divorce, she's yet to get back on her feet and you're talking about remarry?

U just gave her all the answers needed,she is really a confused human being
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by SycophanticGoat: 12:00pm On Apr 09, 2017
Must it always be about a man to you girls/women? Her life is more important here so she should divorce the he-goat (as a natter of fact, you people are supposed to even sue the he-goat's ass for attempted murder) and focus her attention on her children. Even if she never gets married again, she's already blessed with kids. Move on please..

5 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by luminouz(m): 12:01pm On Apr 09, 2017
Raine80:
Two things. You are not your aunt unless of course you are your aunt and this is your way of getting advice?
Sometimes it's better to take a step back and let her make her own choices. She cannot live her life through your fears neither can the rest of the family dictate what happens. Well they can ( its Africa after all)In most instances a cycle forms and there is a lot of back and forth. What's important for her is stability and the welfare of her children. She needs a way of earning a living. This notion of being looked after like a pedigree pet is not sustainable. She needs to be her own person focus on her children and life after this marriage. Worrying about her getting married again is quite improper. She has not even got over her first hurdle as a manner of speaking.


Look at yewwww!!!! Been a long time!!! kiss
BTW....this husby n wifey issues don tire me abeg....will leave it to experts like U!!!!
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Berbierklaus(f): 12:04pm On Apr 09, 2017
toyetade:


Have you heard the other side of the story. The man cannot suddenly be calling for DNA if the wife have been 100% trustworthy. There is a gap in the story. The fact that the wife is not working also make her suspicious to immorality as devil find work for an idle hand. The Op will not report this. Also may be the husband want her to be working but the wife has not been able to find work to do and so it is easier to say the husband don't want her to be working.
Oga Tade you didn't read this story well,you just jumped into conclusion. The man accused the wife, the wife asked for a DNA test and he refused and unless you know the couple more than the OP that is related to them,you cannot say for sure that it is the woman who has refused to work,my aunt's husband refused her from working too but he wouldn't and never acted like a lunatic.

Its common sense,if a man suspects his wife of infidelity he brings concrete evidence and also go for DNA that's what rational minds do,unless of course another mad man on the loose.

10 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Elle277(f): 12:05pm On Apr 09, 2017
The man is a confused fellow, he needs an urgent psychological help plus deliverance first before anything else, pls not every human being you see out there is mentally stable, This Marriage of a thing one has to be careful and prayerful before taking that step,

2 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by TonyeBarcanista(m): 12:06pm On Apr 09, 2017
The man doesn't seem to trust your aunt... So bad!

As for hitting her, that is ridiculous... please, REPORT him to the police and let them charge him for battery and attempted murder. He should spend some moments in police and prison cell for the physical abuse he meted on his wife.

As per his pleading, it's all crocodile. I think you guys should ignore him for a minimum of 6 months. If you see any real repentance in him you may consider to negotiate with him.. BUT



Police action should never be negotiated...

1 Like

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by SycophanticGoat: 12:07pm On Apr 09, 2017
Raine80:
Two things. You are not your aunt unless of course you are your aunt and this is your way of getting advice?
Sometimes it's better to take a step back and let her make her own choices. She cannot live her life through your fears neither can the rest of the family dictate what happens. Well they can ( its Africa after all)In most instances a cycle forms and there is a lot of back and forth. What's important for her is stability and the welfare of her children. She needs a way of earning a living. This notion of being looked after like a pedigree pet is not sustainable. She needs to be her own person focus on her children and life after this marriage. Worrying about her getting married again is quite improper. She has not even got over her first hurdle as a manner of speaking.

I tire oh! Op self.. SmH. Someone that should be worried about her kids but hell no, she's talking about marriage. Is it sex she's scared of not getting any longer or what. I think she's probably the wife we're talking about here.. undecided

1 Like

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by TonyeBarcanista(m): 12:10pm On Apr 09, 2017
The man doesn't seem to trust your aunt... So bad!

As for hitting her, that is ridiculous... please, REPORT him to the police and let them charge him for battery and attempted murder. He should spend some moments in police and prison cells for the physical abuse he meted on his wife.

As per his pleading, it's all crocodile. I think you guys should ignore him for a minimum of 6 months. If you see any real repentance in him you may consider to negotiate with him.. BUT



Police action should never be negotiated...
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by Nobody: 12:11pm On Apr 09, 2017
Probably the man in question listens to gossips without any concrete evidence of infidelity if there is any. Your aunty should just stay put in your house for the time been to recover and be able to think properly. If they are to reconcile it should be in her own terms. She has to get something doing to sustain herself and the kids. The man should also sign an undertaking not to lay a hand on her again no matter the level of provocation.
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by ahonye15: 12:11pm On Apr 09, 2017
No body is perfect, even you as person you have your, and the man should allow the wife to work so that the wife can be supportive to him instead of from one man to another begging, secondly, there must be a reason why the husband is accusing his wife. A dog doesnt bark in the night for nothing and a frog doesnt run in the day time if nothing is pushing it. There,s sweet like happy home. Let the speak for her self because she will be the one to leave in that house.
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by nNEOo(m): 12:14pm On Apr 09, 2017
Can you send the child pix and your Aunty hubby's pix
A little analysis should do
Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by ireneblush(f): 12:16pm On Apr 09, 2017
The man obviously needs a mental evaluation! "the dada instead of daddy" cracked me up. All kids say that because the consonant is easier to pronounce. My advice to your aunt is to stay away from him for now, he might probably kill her during the next beating, life is just one, no spare.

5 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by janvier27(m): 12:22pm On Apr 09, 2017
The man should be encouraged to see a psychiatrist.

2 Likes

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by peacettw: 12:26pm On Apr 09, 2017
I don't like dishing any advice especially since I believe that no 2 scenario are the same but in this case, I will write an epistle.

I must say that what your aunt needs the most now is her family's support. @op,I hope for your aunt's sake that your concerns for her albeit not entirely misplaced are not being aired in the open to her hearing. She already knows this so doesn't need to hear it from you or any other member of the family.

Right now, focus more on building her self esteem and making sure she and her kids are well looked after. Take her to a doctor and document with pictures all bruises. A Lawyer should also be consulted and that DNA done ASAP. Help her to get a job now ever before she goes back to her husband.

Entertain the husband for now by listening to his antics but also let him know that his wife needs time to heal and reconciliation done thereafter especiallly when the DNA result is out. Divorce should be the last option but then again don't ever make the man think he is indispensable. Your job is is the do the exact opp which is to let him know THAT YOUR AUNT CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT HIM.

Above all, the outcome should ensure that your aunt finds her confidence, self esteem and voice after this ordeal, otherwise be ready for a vicious cycle with ur aunt as the losing party.

1 Like

Re: My Aunt's Husband Accused Their Neighbour Of Fathering Their Son by worldman(m): 12:29pm On Apr 09, 2017
Joavid:


You're not serious.



It's her decision to make. It's not yours or ours. and you all should stop confusing her with your opinions.
she's the one suffering in the marriage.



If all you wrote above is true, then he doesn't. Giving him a second chance is giving him a pass to kill your Anuty.


I hope she Never listens to you advice cos you're a very confused human being.


Did she hire you to plan her life or are you God?

She's yet to decide on a divorce, she's yet to get back on her feet and you're talking about remarry?
stop jor you make me laugh out loud if you make me break my phone screen you will pay for it

2 Likes

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