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Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by sisisioge: 7:58pm On Dec 12, 2019 |
Chai...hmmm, what a hard way to learn. Indeed, you werent married initially and can choose to go your own way if you so please now. Just ensure its amicable. May God bless you with peace fa. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Playstation1: 8:13pm On Dec 12, 2019 |
MGTOW.... @Op, Please Look Up To That Word On Google And Make A Good Decision About Ur Next Step/action. For Those Of Us That Want To Live A Happy And Peaceful Live, MTGOW All The Way. 6 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shugaboy6102(m): 9:25pm On Dec 12, 2019 |
merahki:thanks a lot 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shugaboy6102(m): 9:32pm On Dec 12, 2019 |
addictiv:thanks a lot. I remembered vividly one of the days we had an a bitter fight and she told me something that bruised my ego, between God and man she said that no woman in this life will ever fall for someone like me that am a useless and a worthless person. I am not a man that goes after women or looks outside but those words pierced me deeply and I didn't know when I fell into the arms of another woman. I did it out of ego but am falling for this woman 18 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Nobody: 10:44pm On Dec 12, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:that's quite hurtful though!! But just let it slide for the sake of peace and you both should try to make it work, also if you both still wants and agreed to be together, try complete the marriage rite but if she's not ready to do so then you can make use of other available options. 9 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by eazzzy1(m): 1:40am On Dec 13, 2019 |
OP is this what you really want for your life? Got married at 25, divorced at 29. If you continue like this you would have gone through 4 women by the time you are 40. Sit down, ask people who lived like that in the past, most of them are filled with regrets. You say you are unhappy with the marriage but you are only unhappy with yourself. You trained your mind subconsciously to think you were trapped, that you could have made a different choice. You can’t go back and change the past, you can only accept it and make peace with it. Start seeing the woman as your wife, the one you choose to be with and things will change for you. People who are going through unhappiness in their marriage do not just ‘meet someone else’. They tend to stay away from women and commitment for a long time. Your own unhappiness is a result of your thoughts. To answer your question, you aren’t legally married, you don’t need to go through court for a divorce. Just gather the family and tell them it’s over. Cheers! 29 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Nobody: 2:41am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Dignity5: This here Is the answer you sort after. 7 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by MusaDanladi1: 2:44am On Dec 13, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:Well isn't it time you shocked her and prove her wrong? Show her that you are a useful man instead of a useless one, a man with more than enough worth to get someone far better than her. E go pepper her enter bone marrow but baba no send her. Do your thing. Just a word of advice and caution. Study your new woman very well. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by bullabong(m): 3:53am On Dec 13, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:Bia this boy relax and stop fretting like a fish out of water. Has the child been born? Think of the child and keep your cool for now. That child needs you even if you will have to separate. In future you will appreciate that child more than anyone else. Getting another woman is worse than staying put where you are,she's just a new distraction and nothing more. 14 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Ishilove: 5:14am On Dec 13, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:Yes you are, in the eyes of God and man. If you want to dissolve the union, return her bride price and other customary requirements. If you don't do this and you remarry, you're a polygamist. 13 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shugaboy6102(m): 5:46am On Dec 13, 2019 |
eazzzy1:I appreciate your advice. Thanks 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by jaszplus12(m): 8:24am On Dec 13, 2019 |
New love is like a mirror, the front is shiny and bright, turn the back it's dirty and rusty! Cool down Mister! You're only infactuated by the new lady because you have a sad situation at home and you're not trying to sort it out! Why would you chat another woman and expect your wife to feel secure especially when you have not completed the rites of Marriage with her? What's keeping you from doing it? Money? I don't think so. If you cherish your well being, go to your home right now and sit down with your wife and talk about living well! Forget and forgive the past and love yourselves again like it was in the beginning. Let me tell you something about karma. You think you can just do away with a relationship? No way... here's what happens: you're going with a lady 5 years suddenly out of the blue you think she's not fitting for you or no appeal again, then you see fresh meat and jump ship....that fresh meat will last just shy of 5 years...then you will move again and fall just shy of the second, then jump again and the days keep diminishing till unsatisfactoriness become your companion for life! Don't let karma visit you... better do the right thing and cheer yourself up. The reason you have given holds no water! The best of marriage life has deep issues only the wise make it look smooth....and lovely. Best wishes 24 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by jaszplus12(m): 8:31am On Dec 13, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:I'm really sorry that she spoke out of turn. But you see, women are like that! In anger frustration and confusion they shoot without thinking and still will not agree they're wrong! As a mature man you let that slide else you won't be able to live with a woman (old or new)! Take it easy, step by step and get it right! It may take time but the end may just be better than the beginning. 23 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shugaboy6102(m): 9:01am On Dec 13, 2019 |
jaszplus12:thanks your words brought calmness to me now 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shugaboy6102(m): 9:05am On Dec 13, 2019 |
jaszplus12:am deeply encouraged am moved by your words. God bless you for this wonderful advice 13 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by jaszplus12(m): 9:12am On Dec 13, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:You're welcome! Prayerfully go into your Marriage. It's destiny is in your hands ( both of you I mean) Best wishes! 8 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by jaszplus12(m): 9:14am On Dec 13, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:I'm really glad to hear this! Maybe if I were in your neighborhood I'll buy some chilled Coke and we eat with biscuits!! I'm praying earnestly with you! 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by MedicH: 11:37am On Dec 13, 2019 |
Marriage is not for everybody. 8 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Belafonte(m): 12:11pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
I wonder what you face at home if she can plan and carry out such an act as coming to fight an unknown person in your place of employment. Do you know some organisations would terminate you on the spot? They will tell her to wait for you so you both can go home together as they are typing your sack letter. She has no regard for you, and certainly home for herself, but those are not even as bad as her sparing no thought for the child you with have. She has told you she wants to leave and that you should too. Has it ever occurred to you that she could kill you? . It always seems farfetched till you're dead. Hopefully, you don't lose your life. I would advise you to inform your people and hers of her intentions to dissolve the union and leave. They will try to convince you to stay citing all sorts of reasons, but if you value your life I expect you to leave. As to your new-found love interest, I would advise against it, and if you can't, have very clear boundaries. Going through challenges can make is blind to the flaws our supposed relief can possess. Good luck. 5 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Belafonte(m): 12:16pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
LadySarah: I think the part in bold is sophistry, no offence. How can you make it work with a person that can boldly come to your place of employment and cause a scene,not even with her spouse but a coworker? It takes two to tango and she is very clearly not willing to tango. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Belafonte(m): 12:17pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
kaziblake: Make it a habit to not comment on topics if you lack the comprehension and logical skills required to analyse issues without bias. 6 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Graxie(f): 1:52pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Excuse, Excuse and Excuse. What stops you from finishing the marriage rite all this years? Meanwhile, you are free to leave that co-habitation. My only advice is to open joint account or kiddies account for your child. Don't abandon that child, make sure you take responsibility for your child. 10 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Afodot0022(m): 3:05pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
hmm op.. Your situation is just like mine aswell. I got married to my wife due to the pressure of pregnancy. even when she was pregnant, my family and friends was on my head to marry her due to not given birth out of wedlock. I was 30 at that time and she was 27. The issue is that i never really have that genue love for her which i also told her my mind but she still went ahead to do the wedding. After the wedding, issues upon issues. I know what it really means to live together with a woman that you dont really love. It like hell. She is very toxic and saucy. she never respected me on any basis. she argues with me almost everytime that the whole neighbours know we have issues. It was when i got married that my neighbours hear my voice cos they know me as a gentle and quiet man. have tried to make everything work but its just not working..anyway i myself am thinking of how to exit from the marriage cos it make me feel like am cage. op, abeg follow your mind and do whatever brings you peace of mind and happiness. never you endure unhappiness and sadness just in the name of being married. it doesnt worth it. Just ensure that kid dont suffer and also be there for him. cheers op 11 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shugaboy6102(m): 10:32pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Afodot0022:thanks brother, but are you thinking of divorce? Sometimes I really wished I could turn back the hands of time. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shugaboy6102(m): 10:33pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Graxie:thank you sister 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shugaboy6102(m): 10:38pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Belafonte:thanks a million. You advice will be headed |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by shege45: 2:02am On Dec 14, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:bro if una no do court wedding, una just be advanced bf n gf, not even common law partner. leave if it makes yoy happy |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by bdchange(m): 4:14am On Dec 14, 2019 |
First of all you are not legally married to her if you did not go to court to sign the necessary papers. But as long as you paid her bride price and did the traditional right between both families then you are married to her in the eyes of man and God. Both of you should try seeing a counselor or elders in your family to see if you can iron out things. When that avenue has being used and no changes then you can talk of divorce. But you must try first to make it work. Marriage is not for babies or children. 5 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by liberalchick(f): 4:32am On Dec 14, 2019 |
bdchange:Traditional marriage is recognized and legal in Nigeria as long as a bride price was paid and witnesses in form of a ceremony witnessed it. You don’t need to sign papers in a court to be legally married. OP, I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to stay in a marriage where both the man and woman are unhappy. However, there’s a time in a marriage after some years where everybody is antsy. So I would recommend a trial separation, sometimes that’s what you need, a reminder that you need each other. Also, the grass is not always greener on the other side, the new woman is interesting because she is new and doesn’t live with you! 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by MrHighSea: 7:34am On Dec 14, 2019 |
The only advice is... Get out of dt toxic semi-legal union and stay single for at least a year. At some point in life, u av to be ur supervisor and adviser. Be alone. Independent. Reminisce. Before u jump into another pusie. 7 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by kaziblake(f): 10:31am On Dec 14, 2019 |
Belafonte:Just go away. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Belafonte(m): 11:57am On Dec 14, 2019 |
5 Likes |
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