shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man. Am 29 years of age, a civil engineering by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper. After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone. There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast foreword I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind. Note: I haven't wedded in a church before of done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you.

Am 29 years of age, a civil engineering by profession and a sanguine by temperament.

shugaboy6102:
Really am not talking even based on the new lady I met, what am asking is are we legally married? and if so do we keep enduring each other and for how long. Should I stay with her out of convenience because of what people in my church will say, my neighbours, friends, colleagues etc. Do we keep tolerating when we both know it was out of passion and youthful exuberance that landed us both in this. Oh God help me because my life is in a mess I hope someone understands me

shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man. Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper. After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone. There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast foreword I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind. Note: I haven't wedded in a church before of done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you.

thorpido:
There was something that attracted her to you before she got pregnant or was it just a booty call?
You were sitting together and laughing at a time,I believe.Something went wrong thereafter.
Did you lose interest in her?Did you stop giving her attention?
I think your wife is frustrated about something.Can you both sit to talk when the atmosphere is right?Can you try to rekindle the flame?

If you try and it doesn't work or your heart is really gone from this relationship,then maybe you both have to go separate ways.
You are married traditionally and if you want to break it,just ask the elders from her place what it takes to annul such.

shugaboy6102:
Really am not talking even based on the new lady I met, what am asking is are we legally married? and if so do we keep enduring each other and for how long. Should I stay with her out of convenience because of what people in my church will say, my neighbours, friends, colleagues etc. Do we keep tolerating when we both know it was out of passion and youthful exuberance that landed us both in this. Oh God help me because my life is in a mess I hope someone understands me

kodix:
Are you sure you will survive this mess you're trying to put your self in,you have marry and have a child from your wife and you still want marry again I pity you you're just digging your grave, Pls bend down so that your marriage will work for you, why are you still looking at women while you are married,How sure are you that this second lady will be perfect,! I pity you

shugaboy6102:

I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you.

shugaboy6102:
Really am not talking even based on the new lady I met, what am asking is are we legally married? and if so do we keep enduring each other and for how long. Should I stay with her out of convenience because of what people in my church will say, my neighbours, friends, colleagues etc. Do we keep tolerating when we both know it was out of passion and youthful exuberance that landed us both in this. Oh God help me because my life is in a mess I hope someone understands me

Teaveapoet:
what if i say its too early to think you have met a new person.and what to settle down with her? you say this lady that has a child for you was your girlfriend, definitely things were going well before she got pregnant. why don't you sit her down and counsel her or both of you should meet a counselor or elders in your family. i don't see divorce as an option here and marrying another wife is more like double trouble.

thorpido:
There was something that attracted her to you before she got pregnant or was it just a booty call?
You were sitting together and laughing at a time,I believe.Something went wrong thereafter.
Did you lose interest in her?Did you stop giving her attention?
I think your wife is frustrated about something.Can you both sit to talk when the atmosphere is right?Can you try to rekindle the flame?

If you try and it doesn't work or your heart is really gone from this relationship,then maybe you both have to go separate ways
You are married traditionally and if you want to break it,just ask the elders from her place what it takes to annul such.

merahki:
You


I am not being liberated and all. But I have to say something. Please let us all stop selling and propagating the narrative that divorce is not an option
It has killed many, men and women
Nobody deserves to be in a union where they are really unhappy
Divorce is one of the options in a marriage’s life time.

Dear OP, to you and every one who might be in a similar situation, divorce is an option
God does not want you trapped and unhappy, always remember this
Blessings



Goodluck! i wish you goodluck in your decision, since your mind is already made up. All the best.

shugaboy6102:
Really am not talking even based on the new lady I met, what am asking is are we legally married? and if so do we keep enduring each other and for how long. Should I stay with her out of convenience because of what people in my church will say, my neighbours, friends, colleagues etc. Do we keep tolerating when we both know it was out of passion and youthful exuberance that landed us both in this. Oh God help me because my life is in a mess I hope someone understands me

Tosinex:
Why didn't you complete the marriage rite, that alone breeds issue. That might even be the source of the whole drama your wife is playing out!

I wish you well.

shugaboy6102:
She's 25 now