ResidentSlut:
Why can’t people be called by their own names?
How’s your name disrespectful to you?
I’ve never understood that.

Mummiesgirls4:
You have luck I am not that your sister in law ooo, you go report me tire be that. You people attach so much meaning to meaningless things

Skyfornia:
Na waoo...drinking panadol for nothing. She called you by your name and so what? You want her to address you by another name?? I don't know why some people are bothered by this. I think it is illiteracy.

That's how I addressed my client by her name and she said I should call her 'Mama Hansen' instead.

Mama Hansen my foot!!

To the op's culture it is a sign of disrespect. The SIL also considers it is a sign of disrespect and is doing it deliberately. The op's husband also considers it a sign of disrespect and is permitting it. The point is that the op feels disrespected in her home. Whether your culture considers it as disrespectful or not is not relevant, nor is it a meaningless complaint. Intelligent and open minded people tend to be accomodating and tolerant and understand that what is considered acceptable in one culture may be very much unacceptable in another. Address the issue not your prejudice.

@skyfornia with your close minded attitude I predict you will soon have no clients. The real illiterate is the one who still doesn't have a multi cultural understanding of the world despite the presence of the internet.

Well he’s more disrespectful for letting a visitor she doesn’t want to stay in house

RisenPhoenix:

To the op's culture it is a sign of disrespect. The SIL also considers it is a sign of disrespect and is doing it deliberately. The op's husband also considers it a sign of disrespect and is permitting it. The point is that the op feels disrespected in her home. Whether your culture considers it as disrespectful or not is not relevant, nor is it a meaningless complaint. Intelligent and open minded people tend to be accomodating and tolerant and understand that what is considered acceptable in one culture may be very much unacceptable in another. Address the issue not your prejudice.

@skyfornia with your close minded attitude I predict you will soon have no clients. The real illiterate is the one who still doesn't have a multi cultural understanding of the world despite the presence of the internet.

Is the name not ur name? Mrs honourable.be causing trouble lata u now come here my hubby and his family are aganist me.

Doveyvia:


I'm lucky someone I'm 7yrs older than is calling me by my first name? Be sure your fingers aligns with your brain before quoting me. Ciao little brat .

Mummiesgirls4:
Is the name not ur name? Mrs honourable.be causing trouble lata u now come here my hubby and his family are aganist me.

Yo too small for me to exchange words with, toddles baby girl

ResidentSlut:
Well he’s more disrespectful for letting a visitor she doesn’t want to stay in house

Maybe to you. But the house is his as well, so maybe to the op, that is less disrespectful. To the op, the SIL calling her by her first name and expecting to be waited on by her elders like a spoilt brat is more disrespectful. And on this thread, she's the one with the complaint.

So what do you wanna do now? Leave the marriage because sister in-law call u by ur name? or fight the sister in-law? u ar complaining of insignificant tin.

Doveyvia:


Yo too small for me to exchange words with, toddles baby girl

IamD18:
Would you have complained like this if she was your own sister?

I don't think her own sister will behave that way....

Doveyvia:
Good morning Nairalanders,
I've been married for 2yrs and have a son for my husband, before marriage, I made it clear to my husband I didn't want live-in in-laws which he agreed to, after marriage, he brought his sister IN, thought she was staying a few days or a week max but she's been with us for over 5 months and doesn't look like she's going anywhere, I'm no longer comfortable cause she's disrespectful, she never calls me by my son's name, she calls me my name even though she's aware we're not mates in all ramifications, but as my husband's sister, I respect her but I'm thinking I should start calling her by her first name too, or, what do you guys suggest?

In addition, she doesn't help with anything in the house, she just sleeps and eats, she just registered for this year's jamb.

You can call her by name or what you call her already.

For the chores, I remember one of my uncle's wife whenever I visit them and I want to be lazy, she will just tell me iya -oko mi, please help me do this or that stylishly, lol.

Don't just keep quiet and be looking and don't be aggressive about it as well. Take her as your sis and relate with her the way you would with your sis.

Lol, someone just created an alternate to incite trouble and people are falling for it.

See how she's going about insulting everyone, does it seem like she's looking for solutions?

faithfull18:

You can call her by name or what you call her already.

For the chores, I remember one of my uncle's wife whenever I visit them and I want to be lazy, she will just tell me iya -oko mi, please help me do this or that stylishly, lol.

Don't just keep quiet and be looking and don't be aggressive about it as well. Take her as your sis and relate with her the way you would with your sis.

Thanks ma'am

When my sister came to stay with us I did not allow staying more than a month, mind you we're in the states. The idea of relatives living in my home for a lengthy period isn't my cuppa tea. Talk to your husband. No reasonable husband will allow his disrespectful sister to stay for 5 months let alone 4 yrs, haba.

Doveyvia:


So, it's cool I call her aunty while she doesn't reciprocate? No problem.

Wait, are you saying that you call your husband's younger sister, 'aunty' , a girl you are older than by a good seven years ? Someone that has not even written UTME.

Not only that but the brat changed and decided to start calling you by name, knowing it is disrespectful in your culture and does nothing to help out at home, while your husband sees nothing wrong with that. Meanwhile you guys had previously decided no in-laws, now his sister is suddenly supposed to stay for four years. Hmmm

Doveyvia:


She's unfortunately a Tomboy and I see no boyfriend coming into the picture, thank you sir.

Doesn't she have a vagina??

Doveyvia:


She's Iya Oko , but I thought Yorubas equally respect an elder sibling's spouse?

Well, my husband said other girls are ready to call her mummy just to be his wife.

Your husband is the problem.
You are very well replaceable and he sees you as any other girl he can bring in for marriage, if you mess up, he will bring in another girl, no time to check time.

As for your SIL, there is nothing you can do to make her do chores, unless she is ready to leave, you may not be able to chase her away without having any problems with your husband and inlaws. She was badly raised and its unfortunate you are suffering for other people's irresponsibility.

IamD18:
Would you have complained like this if she was your own sister?

Aren't you proud of being an alfafa male again? Why did you and your crew decide to be using female as your monikers? Or you think deception makes you a true alpha?
Is it another form of mental illness?

Doveyvia:


She's Iya Oko ,but I thought Yorubas equally respect an elder sibling's spouse?

Well, my husband said other girls are ready to call her mummy just to be his wife.

The problem is your husband madam. He is very immature and silly for that statement (Sorry to say). He is supposed to call her to order.

donbachi:
may her boyfriend give her belle,marry her,so she go pack go join am,4rm dia dey go school..make u enjoy ur marriage ijn.

Lol. Yeye prayer.

Doveyvia:


Thanks ma'am , it's just all very weird to me, I don't feel comfortable calling her by name but I'll have to learn it?.

Wait. So what do you call her? Didn't you just say she's 7 years YOUNGER than you are?

U see this one, na patience and humility u go use win am.

Doveyvia:
Good morning Nairalanders,
I've been married for 2yrs and have a son for my husband, before marriage, I made it clear to my husband I didn't want live-in in-laws which he agreed to,

Are you the one that built the house or the one paying for rent?

after marriage, he brought his sister IN, thought she was staying a few days or a week max but she's been with us for over 5 months and doesn't look like she's going anywhere, I'm no longer comfortable cause she's disrespectful, she never calls me by my son's name, she calls me my name even though she's aware we're not mates in all ramifications, but as my husband's sister, I respect her but I'm thinking I should start calling her by her first name too, or, what do you guys suggest?

This is not an issue Madam.

In addition, she doesn't help with anything in the house, she just sleeps and eats, she just registered for this year's jamb.

I smell lies just to justify your hatred towards the poor girl!

Doveyvia:


My husband said she'll be going to school from home, so, I'll have to put up with her for about 4 more years

Are you the one that built the house or pays the rent? Why can't you ladies allow men to take care of their relatives in peace? Must you be dramatic all the time?

TonyeBarcanista:
Are you the one that built the house or the one paying for rent?

This is not an issue Madam.


I smell lies just to justify your hatred towards the poor girl!

You needn't stress yourself out over my problem, Adios.

Been there before, if she calls you by name, call her by name as well, shikenah.

I can neva allow any of my relatives stay wit me let alone disrespect my wife

RisenPhoenix:
Put your foot down. While I am a strong supporter of the traditional home where the husband rules supreme, this rule should not be misused to become oppressive. A woman has a right to feel safe in her own home and should be given every opportunity to be so. Table your grievances politely at first, then remind him of your past agreement while stressing that you might have considered permiting her stay if she was more helpful and polite, but she isn't. If after a day or two he does not formulate a satisfactory plan on which she will leave the home, then repeat it once more a week later and tell him that you will pack out until she leaves. Don't shout, don't insult and don't cry; don't go emotional and remain calm and logical at all times while not witholding food or sex etc before the deadline. He will take you seriously if he wants to remain married to you.

You watch African Magic a lot

Doveyvia:


You needn't stress yourself out over my problem, Adios.

You brought your non issue to a public forum ma! It is now a subject before the public! It is not in your place to decide who comments and who doesn't

TonyeBarcanista:

You watch African Magic a lot

Actually I don't. At all. Go back to psychology school and restart from the beginning.

Liposure:
I can neva allow any of my relatives stay wit me let alone disrespect my wife

Okay Mrs Liposure

RisenPhoenix:


Actually I don't. At all.

Okay guy.

The OP is just embittered that her husband is accommodating his younger sister... Simple

TonyeBarcanista:

Okay guy.

The OP is just embittered that her husband is accommodating his younger sister... Simple

It is embittering that
1. The husband failed to keep his side of the agreement to keep family members out.
2. The said family member takes up her space and still disrespects her to boot.

You are not Yoruba by tribe so you can't understand, some in laws are very rude but op you need to be patience, Karma is a bitch thank God she's also a lady.

Skyfornia:
Na waoo...drinking panadol for nothing. She called you by your name and so what? You want her to address you by another name?? I don't know why some people are bothered by this. I think it is illiteracy.

That's how I addressed my client by her name and she said I should call her 'Mama Hansen' instead.

Mama Hansen my foot!!

Doveyvia:


She's Iya Oko ,but I thought Yorubas equally respect an elder sibling's spouse?

Well, my husband said other girls are ready to call her mummy just to be his wife.

There you have it, your sister in law's disrespect stems from your husband's behavior towards you.
Please concentrate on adding value to yourself and ignore the small girl.